[m-tns]

Your spaciousness fills in, like an embrace, a shield, a time yet to come.

You, next to me, like a dream of lavendar

-genoa, December 2020

[m-tns]

fire consumes the coast of the places i loved, and love still.

in the moment, all i see is the smoke, the wreckage, a sense of loss for all the memories, those that passed and those still to come.

but as rushing water carves lines and pockets in sandstone

the flames will cease leaving behind its scars. and the heat and ashes will nourish the earth and allow life, again, to grow, renewed.

and you, the flame in my earth as i am the water in yours.

[m-tns]

Incendiami l’anima con parole piccole, rubami al mio passo smarriscimi

Le mie radici, un trono, una prigione

Baciami leggera di foglia e nuvola e quando sara sera saro il guardiano della tua partenza

---

Ignite my soul with little words, steal me from my path, let me get lost

My roots a throne, a prison

Kiss me softly of leaves and clouds and when it gets dark I’ll be the guardian of your departure

[m-tns]

notti insonni

in queste notti insonni ascolto la tua voce per mettere a mio agio il cuore

un momento di riposo quando ti sento dire queste dolci parole da un’altra volta

[m-tns]

We search for this place but the target keeps shifting

Is it a city A country A continent That brings about these feelings

The familiarity The customs The laws

Maybe

One day

We will realize This place We long to call our own Is not a place at all Instead

It is the space

That occupies And fills This emptiness In our hearts

[m-tns]

Love is patient a wave, a rhythm, a tension towards the other, the other side of yourself.

A tension to name, to hold, to rest.

Love is patient and you are a promise whispered as the waves fall on each other playing disappearance.

Love is four letters to say "your eyes", to say "your smile", to see a house in a sunny place on the other side of the sea...

[m-tns]

Each day we drift apart I feel myself closer, and closer to letting you go.

I dreamt of us growing and learning and loving, together. across oceans and continents, in spite of our flaws, and the uncertainty before us.

You held my heart in your hands as you weighed the choices and all I wanted was your love, unafraid, and open.

you can let distance take the blame for the decision you made, in haste, in fear, in not knowing, or knowing.

The weight of our relationship a burden, as you move in your ways, unable, or unwilling to carry with you.

And now as the distance and space widen with the time between us it unveils a truth, for you, for me. that this balance you felt in my presence, a serenity, to your chaos, was tipped to one side.

And I may have been the most stable, calm, and caring, Love of your life, Yet still you chose to let me go.

And now, my heart, unblinded by your presence and unseduced by your words, can finally begin to see that though I may have been those things for you, You were not for me.

[m-tns]

you are, deep down, a hidden earthquake. My body opens up to the cries of what I can’t name, A forgotten land where rivers lose their ways

the wake of your hands on my hair a rupture an interrupted gesture I cerish while you grounded, play, with other shapes, with other shades.

[m-tns]

You are, a flame, a fire that quickly ignites mesmerizing the eyes drawing warmth, nourishment, protection from the cold.

But just as easily as the wind blows you are swept away by the changing seasons a wild nature, your fickle heart.

And as you move in your ways, leaving behind a scorched Earth only when the rain slows your path do you stop to reflect on the things you left damaged in your wake.

and I, having felt the warmth of your flame stand with my flesh burned, but my feet grounded as your light begins to flicker and fade I see the softness of other elements inviting me to look away.

[m-tns]

Under my skin your skin, a silence that softly tears apart the certitude of my vain ambitions.

I dream of you afraid to remain forever alone - or at best - looking for you into her eyes that, however, do not quite shine, do not quite know the half moon shape of yours, the secrets of your soul.

[m-tns]

Every song I listen to draws your face, a distance that sits in my eyes. It flows into a puddle.

Every song invites me closer. Every song steals meanings from the space in between us.

[m-tns]

in these moments of quietly collecting and reflecting i see a poem, a book, translated its cover folded in to save the place lines written of a man, in between. his choices his identity wishing for a given answer my thoughts drift inwards to you how you felt in sharing this so subtle and quietly these decisions that pull you in different directions a constant internal struggle in my heart i kiss your brow and understand i replace the book, a gift. a keepsake, amongst the others put away.

[m-tns]

I wish I knew how to hold myself, how to hold you, simply how to imagine love without fear how to accept my finitude, my imperfection. I wish tears can heal the fear I feel thick like a wall between this body and those I love I wish I can live my life and that you can be part of it. I wish you peace, serenity, strength, and love. I wish this and more love and happiness for you, for me and for us Dusty included.

[m-tns]

Distance

i rest when you rise your evenings pass by in my nine to five weeks fly by without you by my side and I can’t deny this space intensifies as each day goes by

[m-tns]

8/12/19

Sometimes I sit quiet and I see that all the mess I can detect in my family, this world, my head is just fine, in its place.

The order of things is my vision, my death, the choice of smiles and deep breaths.

[m-tns]

7/4/2019

A piece of silence Folds On itself Long enough To disappear in a voice.

So I am in my cries For a straighter way, To an imagined end Where breathing Would take rhythms Of the tides And the heart beat Those of your breaths.

I used to wake up and desire To be elsewhere. Now I wake up And my hand reaches For you, While my eyes claim their minute of life Lost in your resting Beauty.

[m-tns]

6/29/19

Origami girl, You slip On yourself Like the distances Of a mute belonging