∗ Kaltxì, everyone! 🤌🫴 This is my blog navigation. In here you will find my masterlist and request guidelines. I also thought it would be nice if you know who I am, so I have a post in which I talk a little bit about myself. It's under the link "about me".
∗ Please note that my posts are about a FEM reader. I do not wish to write about a male reader.
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Did another RDA MEN cover! This time with Jake as my cover boy 🤍
PSA! I am NOT an RDA stan in any shape or form, viva la resistance! This is just a fun way for me to add something extra to my art.
It's interesting for me to sit down and think about how the RDA would use propaganda as a tool to sway the masses and cultivate negative feelings towards the resistance on Pandora. I feel like they'd use all sorts of media to do so, and this is one of my interpretations of that.
Here’s the art I made of Jake for the cover, I dedicated it to one of my moots on twt / X ✨
Hello dear readers! The Mother’s Day special is delayed 😕 I have been working on it, but uni and work got in the way. I’ll try to finish it as fast as I can 💙
Focusing on capturing features, lighting and expression. I’m thinking of doing more of these- I want to try out some more expressive ones, maybe a hiss (I feel like that will be challenging lmao), and some other characters! Who should I draw next?
Summary: following Neteyam's death, your family started falling apart. Everyone grieved in their own way, but Jake's way of grieving made him more distant. It affected the whole family, but especially you, his eldest daughter. One day, you decided to look for him, only to find him at the sunken RDA ship, gathering old weapons. You manage to persuade him to come hunting with you, resulting in you two having fun for the first time in a while. It's a sweet father daughter-date.
Word count: 4.3K
Warings: the Sully's are mourning Neteyam, whose death is mentioned a few times.
Na'vi dictionary:
Toruk Makto: rider of Toruk
Tsakarem: tsahìk in training
Whipfang crawler: predator that projects venom
Akula: big, carnivorous fish
Marui: Metkayina home
Parultsyìp: affectione term for children, means 'little miracle'
You never agreed to leaving the forest. The forest, the Omatikaya people… they were your home. Just like your mother, you had argued against Jake, your father. Jake Sully was Toruk Makto, rider of last shadow. He was supposed to bring back a time of peace and harmony and fight with the people. But fifteen years after the war at the Hallelujah Mountains, Jake was done with war. He had lost too many people, and during a raid you and your brothers attended, he almost lost his children too. You and Neteyam got injured. Lo’ak thankfully only had a few cuts. Despite the three of you not being harmed badly, Jake still took it to heart, and so, he decided to leave, not bothered by your protests. You had always admired your father, had always looked up to him and called him your source of inspiration. But after this decision, after moving to Awa’atlu, your relationship took a sharp turn.
The Metkayina people weren’t very welcoming to you and your family. They called you freaks, aliens. All because you had human blood. You had always been a fierce tsakarem. You had never doubted yourself, never had a reason to. But after moving to the beach, insecurities started seeping into your body, like the venom of a whipfang crawler; fast, painful, lethal. You blamed your misery on your father, even though you knew it was wrong. He had explained so many times that he just wanted to keep you and your family safe. But as an emotional teenager, you could only focus on the bad, on the fact that he caused this.
You started digging your heels in the sand, literally, every time Jake asked you to do something. You had never needed scolding before, had never been grounded before. The scoldings were new and rare at first, but they slowly became part of your daily routine. After breakfast, after you had not properly done the dishes, Jake would point it out. At first, it started with some mumbled ‘yes, dad’s, but the longer you stayed in Awa’atlu, the angrier you got. That’s how your mumblings turned into outbursts. “Can’t I do anything right?” you had snapped one day. Before you could look at your parent’s and sibling’s surprised gazes, you had already stormed out.
Things escalated quickly. Snapping at your parents didn’t give you enough satisfaction anymore. You went for the more drastic changes: hanging out with Ao’nung and his friends. You hunted outside the reef, like Lo’ak had done and gotten into trouble for it. Unlike him, you didn’t bond with a badass tulkun. You didn’t get attacked by an akula. No, you simply got lost and returned home too late. Jake was pissed when he found out where you went, and with who you went. That was the first time you got grounded.
The months passed. You slowly got accepted by the people. The more you learned their ways, the more Metkayina you were, the warmer their behaviour was towards you. You even made some friends, forming a friend group with your siblings and Rotxo, Tsireya and Ao’nung. This lightened your mood. Your attitude toward your parents improved, which in turn improved your relationship with them. One day, you felt bad for treating them the way you had, and so you apologized and explained your bad, and for you, abnormal behaviour. After crying and making up with them, everything seemed to go back to normal. You were happy and healthy, and so was your family.
But unfortunately in your life, happiness doesn’t last forever. Soon enough, the RDA returned for Jake, resulting in a huge battle at the cove of the ancestors. It was during that battle that your whole world collapsed. Your brother Neteyam lost his life. Not only your world collapsed, but so did your family’s.
Everyone mourned in their own way. For Lo’ak, it was flying. For Kiri and Spider, it was talking to each other. For Tuk, it was finding comfort with you and your siblings. For Neytiri, it was praying to Eywa and singing Neteyam’s song. You found yourself often joining your mother. As the eldest of the children, you held yourself responsible for what happened. You should have protected Neteyam, but you didn't. Turning to the Great Mother seemed to be the only way for you, unlike your father. Jake ignored his feelings. He was gone most of the time, diving down to the ruins of the sunken RDA ship, looking for any useful sky people weapons. You never went with him. You never really spoke to him anymore. You didn’t know why. Maybe because you worried he was mad at you for not being there when it happened.
You never went to your dad, even though you knew he needed the comfort too. So, on one rainy day, after mourning and praying with your mother, you decided you wanted to look for your father. You thought it was unfair how you all had each other and how he seemed to be grieving alone. Not even Neytiri was there for him. At least not in the way he needed her to be. She had her own worries, and unfortunately, their relationship suffered from it.
“Mom?” you asked after you finished your last prayer. You turned your head to Neytiri, who had one white line painted down the middle of her face, as well as black streaks painted over her eyes, going down like tears. You also had that white streak going down your face. It was a sign you were still mourning.
“Yes?” Neytiri responded, her voice a bit hoarse and void of energy. Neteyam’s death has struck her hard. It had struck all of you, but it somehow seemed to affect her the most.
“Where is dad?”
Your question made her still. She had been holding Neteyam’s cummerbund to her chest, smelling it occasionally. She was about to lay it back down with his other belongings, but her hands stilled right above the woven floor of your marui. “Foraging,” was all she said.
That word was all you needed, though. There was only one place Jake foraged, and that was the bottom of the ocean.
“I think I’ll go help him,” you said, getting up on your feet. Neytiri followed you with her gaze, not bothering to stand up. She turned back to Neteyam’s cummerbund, gently laying it down next to his songcord.
“I don’t think he wants your help, parultsyìp,” Neytiri responded quietly. You pinned your ears back at this.
“I’ll go to him anyway,” you added stubbornly. “He could use a break.” Neytiri didn’t respond. Her tail just curled in on itself, making your shoulders feel heavy with something close to guilt. You didn’t want to leave your mother alone right now, but your dad needed you too. So, you pressed a soft kiss to Neytiri’s braids before you left the marui.
The rain was still seeping from the sky, drenching you within seconds. You never liked the rain, despite having lived in the rainforest. The rain there was different. It was warmer, somehow. Here, the rain was cold, making you shiver. With your ears pinned back, you called for an ilu, which came almost immediately. It chirped in greeting as you placed a saddle on its back.
“Hello, little guy,” you said as you mounted it after forming tsaheylu. “You and I have some searching to do.”
And so, you raced through the water, going so fast the raindrops nearly cut through your skin, but you were too determined to find your father to bother. He has been gone ever since sunrise, and you just knew he hasn’t taken a break from foraging. Jake didn’t do breaks. He worked until his body gave up. Judging from how he looked lately, you thought it wouldn’t take long for that to happen.
After swimming for what felt like hours, but were really just a couple of minutes, you found a small boat floating on the waves. From where you were, about fifty meters from it, you could clearly see a pile of junk inside of it. Not just any junk. Sky people junk; weapons, mostly. These were things Jake thought could be useful to him. You never understood why he preferred this sky people junk. Just like your mother, you refused to fight with metals, for it went against the will of Eywa.
A head emerging above the surface caught your attention. His long, thick dreads were very familiar, and so were the broad shoulders and strong hands that hauled more sky people weapons into the boat. Your father.
“Dad!” you called out to him, urging your ilu forward. Jake, slightly out of breath from being under water for so long, turned his head to look at you, his expression one of surprise.
“Y/n, what are you doing here?” His voice was gruff and breathless.
“I came for you.” Your ilu came to a stop next to Jake, who was leaning on the boat, looking tired. He studied you for a moment, a slight frown on his face.
“Why?” was all he asked.
“Because you shouldn’t be alone so much,” you responded quietly. Jake held your gaze, his expression hardening. He didn’t look like he wanted your presence.
“I want to be alone.” He let go of the boat and swam closer to you and your ilu. “You should go back to the village. Go to your mother.”
Your tail lashed behind you like a whip and your ears pinned back against your braids. You weren’t happy with this response, and you weren’t going to give up so easily.
“No,” you responded stubbornly, tail lashing again. The ilu chirped, slapping its flippers against the water, splashing Jake, who glared at the animal, before glaring at you. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing out loud. You hadn’t meant to splash your father. The ilu probably mistook your defiance for… well, whatever this was.
“Go home, y/n,” Jake said sternly, his ears flattening. “I’ve got work to do.”
“No, dad-” you protested, but he didn’t even listen. He just dove back under the surface, leaving you and your ilu alone. Before you could even form a proper thought, you dove right after him, your ilu gaining on your father’s figure quickly. Before Jake could reach the remains of the RDA ship, you grabbed his arm making him turn toward you with a sharp glare, clearly not amused that you were stopping him.
“Let me help,” you signed with your three-fingered hands. The Metkayina sign language came naturally to you now, after having practiced for months. When Jake didn’t respond right away, but just looked at you like he didn’t know what to do, you added a “please”.
If Jake could sigh under water, he would. With a reluctant flick of his ears, he made a single, quick motion with his hands. “Fine.” He shoved a large flashlight in your hands before diving back down. He didn’t explain what he wanted from you, but you didn’t need him to anyway. You followed him on your ilu, shining the light on the various scraps of metal Jake found interesting. You did this for hours, following him in and around the ship, picking up old weapons and bringing them to the boat. You eventually dismounted your ilu when Jake went further into the ship.
When you two finally resurfaced, you were both tired and out of breath. You were hanging onto the side of the boat as you looked down at the pile of junk inside. The boat was filled to the brim, and you thought you had finally gathered enough. But Jake still wasn’t pleased. You could see it in the way he looked down at it; ears lowered, eyes half lidded, that frown on his forehead that never seemed to leave. When you looked at Jake, you only now noticed how much he’s aged since you moved here. There were more wrinkles around his eyes and on his forehead. His skin looked a bit dry and hard, like leather. Maybe it also has something to do with the mourning paint on his face.
“You should wear more sunscreen,” you said suddenly, making Jake look up at you with wide eyes.
“What?” he asked dumbfounded, folding his arms over the edge of the boat for more support. “How do you know what that is?”
His question made the corners of your mouth twitch upwards. Your people don’t use a chemical layer on their skin to protect themselves from the sun. “Norm told me,” you responded with an eyeroll, making Jake scoff and shake his head in mild amusement.
“Of course he did,” he mumbled under his breath. Just like Kiri and Lo’ak, you’ve spent a lot of time in the lab, learning all about human culture.
Jake didn’t question your sunscreen-comment again. Instead, he looked back at the boat, taking in the weapons piled inside. You didn’t hesitate to repeat your earlier words, even though you were practically calling your father old. “You should wear more sunscreen. Your skin is damaged.”
Jake let out a breathless chuckle, shaking his head. “I’ve got more things to worry about than sunscreen, sweetheart.”
You didn’t respond. You knew he had a lot on his mind. Your ears pinned back, wanting to protest, right as your stomach growled. You were hungry. How long have you been foraging for? It had stopped raining, and the sun was now slowly beginning to shine through the thick clouds above.
“You hungry?” Jake asked, ears flicking when he heard your stomach growl. You looked down, not wanting to admit to being famished. You knew that if you did, Jake would send you back to the village.
And that was exactly what he did. You didn’t even have to say anything.
“Go back,” he said gruffly, pushing himself away from the boat. “Get yourself some food.”
“What about you?” you asked quietly, knowing he wasn’t going to get food himself. You figured he’d stay here until the sun set. He always did that. Didn’t he realise it was hurting his family, and even more: that it was hurting his wife? You had never seen Neytiri so lonely before.
“I’ll see you at dinner.” Again, he said exactly what you had predicted. You sighed.
“Dad…” Another sigh as you contemplated your next words. “You should eat. Come with me.”
“No, babygirl,” Jake responded dismissively, shaking his head with a sigh. “I’m not hungry.”
Your frustration flared up at this. You hated his stubbornness, even though you had inherited that trait from him.
“You need a break-”
“No, I don't!" he cut you off sharply. He rounded the boat, swimming closer to you, his expression hard. You held the boat with one hand, looking at your father in shock. He rarely snapped at you, and to hear him do that right now… it felt like a punch to the gut. You were just trying to look after him.
“Yes, you do!” you snapped back. “You’re never home, never in the village. The only time I see you is when we’re having dinner with the clan and when we’re going to bed. You can’t keep living like this, dad! We miss you. I miss you… You can't keep going without a break, without seeing your family…”
You had to force the words past your lips. They hurt to say. You didn’t want to upset your father, knowing he was mourning in his own way. But you couldn’t keep it in anymore. Tears were starting to fill your golden eyes, and before you knew it, they were rolling down your cheeks. Jake’s hard expression softened immediately at the sight. He could be angry at you, he could snap at you, but one thing he couldn’t do, was seeing his daughter cry.
“Don’t cry, babygirl,” Jake cooed, his voice a lot softer now, but still very gravelly, as he reached out and wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb. His hand on your cheek felt warm and familiar, despite the roughness of his palm. You felt yourself leaning into it, seeking his warmth, his presence.
“Please,” you sniffled. “Come with me. We can even hunt together if that’s what you want.”
Jake’s thumb wiped away another set of tears, his expression faltering. Seeing you cry was like stones in his heart. All he wanted for you was to be happy, and as a father, he thought it was his job to make sure you were exactly that. His ears twitched when he realised he had failed. You were sad, your mother was sad. All of you were sad and in need of his comfort. And what has he done? Walked away, closing himself off from everyone he’s ever loved, all because he didn’t know how to deal with his feelings.
When he saw the pleading look in your eyes and the trembling of your bottom lip, he cracked. A choked sound left his lips, almost like a sob. His hand moved to the back of your head, gently pulling you closer. “Yeah…” he whispered, pressing a firm kiss to the top of your head. “We can hunt.”
And so, you and Jake brought the boat back to the village. You didn’t unload it. Instead, you - or more: Jake - anchored it and left it there, deciding you’d come back for it later. While Jake anchored the boat, you went to your marui to grab your spears. You were going fishing.
When you got back to the edge of the village, where the ilu saddles were kept, you saw Jake putting a saddle on top of a skimwing, making you roll your eyes.
“Of course he has to ride the damn skimwing,” you mumbled to yourself, sliding the saddle over the ilu’s head. Jake’s head perked up at your words, his ears flicking toward you. He’s heard you.
“What’s that?” he asked as he mounted his skimwing. It growled when he made the bond, as if it was showing dominance.
“Nothing,” you mumbled as you climbed on top of your ilu, making the bond as well. “I just called you a showoff.”
Your words made Jake chuckle, a sound you haven’t heard in a while, as he raised his spear, signaling he was ready to go. You took your own spear from the woven floor, holding it tightly as you gave your father a single nod.
Jake led the way, skimwing and ilu cutting two different paths through the same water. He didn’t say much at first, he just pointed with the tip of his spear toward the outer shallows, not too far from the village, but not close enough for the Metkayina na’vi to scare away the fish.
The sky was still bruised from the earlier rain, but the sun kept pushing through in pale streaks, turning the water glassy in places and bright as polished shells in others. Your ilu chirped under you, pleased with the speed. Jake’s skimwing gave a low, dramatic rumble like it was offended you weren’t riding something “serious.” It wasn’t exactly a race, but you weren’t going slowly either. You knew Jake would’ve gone faster if it wasn’t for you riding an ilu.
“Alright,” Jake called back over his shoulder once you were far enough from the village.. “First one to land a clean hit gets the bigger portion at dinner.” He glanced at you, the corner of his mouth tipping up like he already knew the outcome. “And no whining when I win.”
“I don’t whine,” you shot back automatically, though it came out more like a laugh. You both knew you definitely whined. Your body felt lighter now than it had in days, like the ocean had reached up, taken the tight knot in your chest, and patiently untangled it. Jake pretended not to notice, but his eyes lingered on you longer than necessary, noticing how your mood has seemed to lift. He was glad that hanging out with you has accomplished this so quickly. He made a mental note to do this more often.
You reached the calm pocket where the reef softened into a sandy bowl. Jake lifted his hand, two fingers, then a pointed gesture down. Here. You both slid off your mounts, letting them hover nearby, diving down into the cool water. Below, fish flickered between coral fingers; thin, darting shapes with shimmering stripes that looked painted on. You often found yourself awestruck by their beauty, even after having lived here for months.
Jake moved like he belonged to the water, moving slow and steady, spear held loose like the good hunter he was. You tried to copy him, but your excitement made you a little too fast. The first fish you aimed for vanished in a blink, leaving only a puff of sand and your own irritated bubbles after letting out a huff. Jake turned his head just enough to give you a look that said seriously? without a single word.
You surfaced for air beside him. “Don’t start,” you muttered, wiping water from your eyes. Jake’s expression softened, and he angled his spear tip toward your grip. “You’re holding it like how my grandma held her walking sticks,” he said, making your ears pinned back. “Loosen your grip. Let the spear rest in your hand.” Jake was often very direct, even with you. You often wondered if it was because you wanted to be a warrior like him, or if it was because you were the eldest of the kids.
No matter what the reason was, his directness was always effective. You listened to him, allowing the spear to rest in your hand. You loosely wrapped your fingers around it.
“Mind your wrist,” your father added. “Don’t flick it like this.” He pretended to throw a spear, flicking his wrist down after he made a throwing movement with his arm. “Keep it straight. And breathe. Relax.”
And so you did. You let yourself float, chest rising and falling, letting the sounds of the reef settle around you: distant clicks, the soft scrape of coral, the gentle slap of your ilu’s fin on the surface. When you dove again, you didn’t chase. You waited. A plump, orange fish cruised past a coral arch like it owned the place. Your arm moved on its own, smooth, sure, your wrist straight, and the spear hit clean.
You came up grinning so hard your cheeks hurt. “Clean hit,” you announced, holding the fish up like a trophy. Jake blinked at it, then at you, surprised for half a heartbeat before he scoffed. “Beginner’s luck,” he decided, because of course he did. But he was smiling too, showing he was actually proud of you.
The next stretch turned into a rhythm: dive, watch, strike, surface. Jake caught two in quick succession, both perfect, like he was proving a point to the universe. You caught another, smaller but stubborn, and it thrashed so hard it sprayed you in the face when you pulled it free. From the edge of your vision, the skimwing lifted its head and growled like it was laughing at you. Your ilu chirped, innocent as always, which somehow made it worse. It felt like the animals were making fun of you.
Eventually, Jake motioned toward a sun-warmed rock shelf where the water was shallow enough to sit without fully leaving the sea. You hauled yourselves up, dripping and laughing, and laid the fish in a neat line between you like you were taking stock of your spoils. As you looked down at the four fish you caught, which was enough to feed your family tonight, your father spoke. “We used to do this all the time,” he said, not looking at you at first. His voice was softer here, the way it got when the world wasn’t listening. “Feels… good. Feels normal.”
“Yeah,” you responded quietly, your eyes roaming over your dad’s face. “We should do this more often. I miss it.” Jake wrapped his arm around you in response, pulling you against his side.
“We should,” he agreed quietly, gently squeezing your shoulder.
You leaned your head back, letting the sun dry the water on your lashes. “So,” you said after a moment, tapping the biggest fish with one finger. “I get the bigger portion.” Jake huffed, offended on principle. “That was your first one,” he argued. “I caught more.”
You pointed again. “But mine was cleaner.” He stared at you like he was about to lecture you, then gave up with a dramatic sigh that turned into a chuckle. “Fine,” he said. “You get the bigger portion. But you’re helping me cook them.”
“Deal,” you agreed, and it felt like a promise instead of a chore. With everything that has happened in the past, you were glad to spend more time with him, even when it was helping him and Neytiri cook. Although you’d never admit it out loud.
After you slid back into the water, you mounted your ilu which chirped loudly, eager to go back (and secretly hoping it could get a bite of your fish), and Jake’s skimwing splashed as if impatient with all this talking. You put the fish together in a net and secured them behind your saddle. Then, you and Jake started back toward the village side by side. You didn’t race. You moved slowly, comfortably, as if you two were finally able to relax. It felt good to have your father back, and as you moved through the calm waves, you mentally prayed to Eywa, that this was the start of a new beginning.
I have been struggling a lot lately, thanks to uni, work, my home situation, etc. I haven’t had the motivation to write. But it’s getting better now, so I’m writing again!
If anyone has any requests they want me to write, feel free to let me know!
HII!! I have no idea if you do human readers but i hope it's alright if i request a lo'ak x human f!reader in afaa with angst (hurt-comfort) where the reader still has those moments where she thinks she does not belong with the na'vi people and getting bullied by other metkayina people, causing her to distance herself from lo'ak and the rest of the sully's because she she dislikes opening up to others. While still keeping a facade where she's hiding her true feelings behind that smile. 😋 (also maybe to spice things up, reader seeing lo'ak and tsireya being a lil too close to each other from afar and thinks that she was never gonna be for lo'ak because she does not belong to their kind and she was stupid to think that he actually liked her) (BTWW lo'ak and reader grew up together just like spider, but i want this to be a slow-burn HEH) SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH!! (If not, I'd love a mangkwan reader too ^^ you can js change it up if you wanna do mangkwan instead)
Outcast together
Pairing: Lo'ak x female human reader
Summary: ever since you moved to Awa'atlu, you felt like an outcast. Lo'ak was the only person who made you feel like you belonged. You found great comfort in the fact that he was an outcast too. But it all changed when he met Tsireya, as the girl slowly started to replace you.
Warnings: reader doubting herself, Neteyam and Rotxo are still alive but briefly mentioned
Word count: 5.9K
Na'vi dictionary:
Ketartu: outcast
Vrrtep: demon
Ta'lengtun: pinkskin
Dapophet pod (this is actually the English translation): plant with healing properties
Tsyong: southern squidray
Marui: Metkayina home
Skxawng: idiot, moron
Tanhì: bioluminescent freckle
A/N: Kaltxì ma 'eylan! Thank you for your request. I had a lot of fun writing this fic. I hope this is what you had in mind! 💙
It was another day on the beach. Another day of worrying about that stupid war your kind has begun, all because they refused to adapt to the world around them. Unlike you. You have adapted to the na'vi way of living, like the tide adapts to the position of the moon. Smoothly, calmly, with zero protest.
It started when you learned how to walk. You grew up with the Omatikaya people and played with na'vi children. You and Spider both. You ate with them, played with them, explored the forest with them. No one was surprised when your diaper changed for a loincloth. No one was surprised you spoke Na'vi better than English. No one was surprised when one day, you wanted to paint blue stripes on your body, claiming it would make you look more na'vi. Everyone allowed this. No one said you couldn't act like a na'vi, that you were being weird and that something was wrong with you. The thought that you belonged with your own kind never occurred to you, for the na'vi people were your kind.
That thought never occurred to you, until you moved to Awa’atlu. Ever since the first day you arrived, the people were wary of you. What is a human doing here? Why does she have stripes painted on her body? Does she really think she's one of us?
It didn't take long for you to earn some nicknames. Well, earn... those nicknames weren't exactly a gift. The people called you ketartu, vrrtep, ta'lengtun. Your family told you not to take it to heart, but you heard those words so often that you started to believe them. You were outcast in Awa’atlu, no matter how hard you tried to fit in.
You weren't the only one who struggled to fit in. Your best friend, Lo’ak, was also outcast. Both of you struggled to adapt to the Metkayina way of living; to hold your breath for long amounts of time, to hunt in the water, to learn all the new plants that grew around you. One time, you accidentally ate a poisonous plant, mistaking it for another. You got sick and no one, but your family cared. Everyone else laughed at you, called you stupid for mistaking a plant for another, but not him. Not Lo’ak. He stayed by your side the whole time.
‘Do you want some water?’ he had asked when you were laying in your hammock, face pale, throat dry and swollen. ‘I can get you some more dapophet pods too, if you want.’
You found comfort in his presence, his worry, his care. It was more than anyone else has done for you. You shifted in your hammock, making some hair fall in front of your face, sticking to your sweaty skin. Lo’ak would push it away from your face, his hand lingering a second too long.
‘No, thank you,’ you said hoarsely, looking into his big, yellow eyes that didn't hold any judgment for your stupid mistake. A mistake that could have killed you. No, those eyes only held worry and sympathy. ‘I just want you to stay.’
‘Then I'll stay,’ Lo’ak had answered, sitting down next to your hammock. And he did. He never left.
The months flew by. You didn't get poisoned again. You slowly adapted to the Metkayina way of living, but you still struggled. Holding your breath, hunting in the seas, learning about all the different plants that looked so much alike you could barely distinguish them. You had always found comfort in Lo’ak, who had struggled too. But unlike you, he got better at living in your new environment. That has only gotten better when he met Tsireya. They were close. A little too close to your liking. Now that your best friend had adapted, now that he met a girl who slowly seemed to replace you, you felt more alone than ever before. You truly felt like an outcast.
Ketartu, vrrtep, ta'lengtun. Those words had carved their way into your mind. You couldn’t help but repeat them to yourself as you walked over the beach. It was a beautiful day; the sun stood high in the sky, providing Eywa with warmth. But you didn’t feel the sun’s warm embrace. You haven’t felt it since you left the forest. The beach was always vibrant, full of life, but for some reason, you didn’t feel alive. You felt like you weren’t allowed to exist. Ketartu. Outcast. That’s what you were. You weren’t Metkayina; you weren’t na’vi. You doubted you’d ever be, for to the People, you’d always be one of them.
‘Hey, shorty!’ A familiar voice brought you out of your daze. A wave of relief washed over you when you realized who it belonged to. Your best friend.
‘Lo’ak,’ you responded, forcing a smile on your face as you turned around. You saw him jogging over to you, followed by Rotxo and Ao’nung. They were part of your friend group. Rotxo and Ao’nung were one of the few Metkayina na’vi that accepted you for who you were. You considered them your friends.
‘Come hunting with us,’ Lo’ak said once he reached you. As always, he towered over you, just like the other two na’vi who joined you.
‘I don’t think I’m in the mood for hunting today, guys,’ you admitted, looking down at your feet. You didn’t tell them why, but Lo’ak knew. He always knew.
‘Ah, come on,’ Ao’nung responded as he gave your shoulder a gentle shove, making you stumble a bit. ‘We’re going outside the reef. It’s where the men hunt.’
Ao’nung’s words made you give him a glare. You hated when he said that. Where the men hunt. Like not hunting outside the reef made you a wuss. Rotxo noticed this and quickly corrected your friend with an ‘And women, of course,’ making your expression soften slightly. It still wasn’t what you liked to hear, but it was better than nothing. You decided to add a little sarcasm to your response.
‘So, it’s where everyone hunts,’ you added as you crossed your arms over your chest, making the three boys share a look. You did have a point, but of course, all three of them were too proud to admit that.
‘Just come with us,’ Lo’ak probed, knowing you could use a distraction. ‘It’ll be fun.’
You shook your head at the idea of hunting outside the reef. It wasn’t safe. Last time you went, you nearly got attacked by tsyong. ‘You’re getting me into trouble.’
Ao’nung an Lo’ak scoffed in unison, and Rotxo just crossed his arms over his chest, looking amused. ‘What, are you chicken?’ Lo’ak asked teasingly, making you glare at him now as well. These boys always managed to get on your nerves. You were beginning to think Eywa sent them just for this purpose.
Before you could respond, Rotxo spoke, looking confused. ‘What’s chicken?’
His question made you snort and share a look with Lo’ak, who looked equally amused by Rotxo’s lack of knowledge about the human world. Ao’nung and Rotxo shared a confused look in return, clearly not understanding what was so funny.
‘It’s nothing,’ you said with a grin, noticing now that your mood has lifted already. Maybe hunting with these three skxawngs would be a nice distraction. ‘Fine, I’ll come with you. But only to prove that I’m not a chicken.’ You poked Lo’ak’s abdomen for emphasis, making him giggle and squirm away. That giggle earned him a snicker from the two Metkayina males, to which he quickly cleared his throat, trying to cover it up.
‘Don’t do that,’ he grumbled as his cheeks turned purple, his ears flicking back in embarrassment. ‘I’m sensitive.’
Those words only made Ao’nung and Rotxo snicker louder, which ended up in a laughing fit from the two. You couldn’t help but join in on the laughter, to which Lo’ak’s cheeks turned even darker. You felt sorry for your friend, but it was outweighed by the feeling of joy you had in this moment.
When you would hunt with these guys, you’d always cheer up. Not only Lo’ak, Ao’nung and Rotxo where there for you. Your other friends, Spider, Kiri, Tuk, Neteyam and Tsireya were there for you too. Whether it was swimming with the tulkun, fishing, diving for shells, or just hanging out on the beach, your friends were there for you. Despite the Metkayina people bringing you down with their words, you felt your mood slowly lifting, all thanks to your friends. One thing you noticed as well, was whenever your friends approached, you’d seek Lo’ak’s presence. But, as the time flew by, he would show up less and less. The longer you were in Awa’atlu, the more he left your side, slowly replacing you with Tsireya. To say you missed him, would be an understatement. You told yourself it wasn’t his intention to hurt you, that he was allowed to have other friends too, but somehow, seeing him with Tsireya hurt.
You never realised the way you had become attached to Lo’ak. To you, he wasn’t just a friend anymore. He was your light in the darkness. A warm embrace you always looked forward to. He had always comforted you when you were upset. He would sit with you, talk you through it, complain with you or simply hold you. But not anymore. You didn’t understand why he chose Tsireya over you. It hurt.
‘I just miss him,’ you said on one particularly rough day. You were sitting in your family’s marui, talking to Neytiri. You were helping her with dinner, cutting up fruit and vegetables. Neytiri has had trouble accepting you when you were little, but she was now like a mother to you. She has accepted you into her home and treated you like family. She has told you that if someone deserved to be treated like a na’vi, it was you. You had always found comfort in those words, for Neytiri wasn’t quick to accept a human.
‘Why do you miss him?’ Neytiri asked, briefly glancing up from the meat she was cutting into small pieces.
A short silence as you cut off the inedible part of some fruit, maybe a little too harshly. ‘Because he’s always with Tsireya.’
Neytiri fell silent for a moment, stopping her movements. She lowered her knife as she studied you for a moment, taking in your slumped shoulders, the frown on your forehead, the way your lips were turned downward.
‘Y/n,’ she said slowly, carefully. ‘Do you have feelings for Lo’ak?’
It was an unexpected question, making your grip on the knife slip right when those words left Neytiri’s mouth, resulting in you nearly cutting yourself. A sharp hiss left your mouth, and whether that was directed at yourself or at the woman in front of you, you didn’t know.
‘What?’ you asked with a huff, cutting the fruit even more aggressively than before. ‘No. Of course I don’t.’
It was the truth. You didn’t have feelings for Lo’ak. You just wanted your best friend back. Right?
‘Y/n,’ Neytiri said calmly, placing down her knife to reach over to you, gently laying her hand on top of yours, stopping you from assaulting the food. ‘Look at me.’
You didn’t want to look at her, but you knew you had no choice. Neytiri was insistent. So, with a sigh, you dropped your knife and reluctantly met her gaze. You hated that knowing look she gave you. It made you grit your teeth.
‘What?’ you grumbled, making the woman sigh. She scooted a bit closer to you, making you avert your gaze again. This time, she decided to let you.
‘For someone who doesn’t have any feelings, you act quite defensive. And a bit possessive.’
Those words made you bristle. You’ve never realized you’ve been acting possessive over Lo’ak. Whenever you talked about missing him, you always mentioned that he hung out with Tsireya too much, that you wished he hung out more with you instead. That wasn’t possessive. Right?
When you remained silent, Neytiri squeezed your hand gently. ‘You don’t have to be ashamed. We can’t always control what we feel toward others.’
A sigh left your mouth as you looked back up at Neytiri. You have never thought about the possibility of you having feelings for Lo’ak. You grew up with him, you lived with his family. Not to mention you weren’t na’vi. Having feelings for him would be wrong in so many ways, yet you couldn’t deny the small flutter you felt in your heart when you thought about him right in that moment.
‘I don’t have feelings for him,’ you mumbled as you ran your hand through your hair. ‘I just miss my friend.’
‘Are you sure?’ she asked gently. Neytiri didn’t want to push you too much, but she knew she had to if she wanted you to talk to her.
‘Yes,’ you said, getting a bit annoyed at her questioning you. You pulled your hand away from hers, placing it in your lap where you started fidgeting with your songcord. Your fingers traced a shell Lo’ak had given to you when you first moved to Awa’atlu. The memories of him being your best friend, of him being around you basically 24/7, made you feel melancholic.
‘I just...’ you continued after a moment of silence. ‘I don’t mind him hanging out with Tsireya. I mean, she’s his friend too, but I just...’ A sigh as you looked at the entrance of the marui, like you were making sure no one would hear what you were about to say.
‘I don’t like her taking up all of his time. I want to be with him again too, you know? Not all the time, but just... I don’t want to feel like Tsireya is replacing me.’
Neytiri stayed silent after your confession. She studied your expression, your pouting lips, your scrunched eyebrows, the way you kept looking at the entrance.
‘Then, why don’t you tell him?’ she asked quietly, her ears flicking forward when you bristled. It was a good question. Why didn’t you tell him?
‘Because...’ you started, now finally meeting her gaze again. ‘I guess I’m afraid.’
‘Afraid of what?’
‘Of him saying no.’
‘Saying no to what?’
It was another good question. A question you also didn’t know the answer to. It was beginning to frustrate you. You were saying things that didn’t make any sense. In frustration, you rubbed your temples. Neytiri took this as an opportunity to speak again.
‘Do you really think Lo’ak is going to give up on you? You’re his best friend, y/n. He cares about you. I think he hasn’t noticed how he’s spending less time with you.’ She reached for your hand again, wrapping her fingers around yours in an attempt of comforting you. It worked.
‘I’m sure he’ll apologize,’ she added softly when you met her caring gaze. ‘Just talk to him. Tell him how you feel. It’ll be alright.’
You trusted Neytiri’s words. Lo’ak was your best friend, and he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. If he, for some reason, didn’t want to hang out with you anymore, he would’ve told you. So, with more confidence, you decided to look for him that evening.
The sky was clear when you walked over the beach, making it easy to spot Polyphemus and the bright stars above you. The sea was calm, the waves gently rippling against the shore, creating a sound almost like a white noise. It was calming you as you walked, the sand still feeling hot against your bare feet. One thing that did annoy you though, was your oxygen mask. Unlike Spider, you still had to wear one. You hated the sound of your breath going through the air filter, the constant worry about your battery going dead. You had never worried about it before, but ever since you moved to Awa’atlu, it has become another thing you felt insecure about. Another thing that distinguished you from the others.
Ketartu, vrrtep, ta'lengtun. Those words made their way into your mind again, repeating over and over, like a mantra. You didn’t belong. You have never belonged here. Would you ever?
The sound of voices brought you out of your spiralling thoughts. They came somewhere to your right, getting carried by the waves. When you looked, you didn’t see anyone. It was dark, and you couldn’t even make out someone’s tanhì. The voices continued. You walked on, slowly, the voices becoming familiar.
‘I am so happy to see you two accepting each other now,’ said one of the voices. ‘I don’t want there to be any rivalry in our friend group.’
It took you a moment to recognize the voice. It was soft and smooth, like honey. It was Tsireya’s. But where was it coming from?
‘We weren’t rivals,’ the other voice responded with a huff. ‘Ao’nung and I just didn’t like each other, that’s all.’
You halted in your tracks. You’d recognize that voice anywhere. Low, gravelly. It was Lo’ak’s. It was good you heard it right now, for you had been looking for him. But you didn’t want to have this conversation with Tsireya around. Maybe you should have this conversation another time. With a sigh, you looked down at your feet, getting ready to turn around and head back to the village, when Tsireya spoke again.
‘That’s the definition of rivals, Lo’ak,’ she said with a chuckle. ‘But seriously, I’m glad you’re Metkayina now. After all you’ve been through, you deserve it. I am so proud of you.’
Tsireya spoke with the same tenderness as you often did when you talked to Lo’ak. She sounded praiseful, and you could already imagine the look on her face; blue eyes wide as they stared up at Lo’ak’s yellow ones, a warm, innocent smile on her face. You felt a pang of jealousy in your chest. Why?
‘Yeah, I’m Metkayina?’ Lo’ak asked with a scoff. You could already imagine him turning his head away from Tsireya, ears pinned back against his head. ‘Then why does everyone have a tattoo and I don’t? I’ve come of age; I’ve earned my chest guard. Why am I the only one who doesn’t have a tattoo?’
His voice had become defensive. It was a tone you’ve heard a lot when you both complained about not fitting in. It made you want to comfort him, for you have always comforted him. This tone was like a trigger to you, and before you knew it, you were moving; walking toward the direction of the two voices.
‘I don’t know,’ Tsireya admitted, her voice getting clearer as you neared them. ‘But what I do know, Lo’ak, is that you’re one of us now. The people see how hard you’ve worked here, my parents see it, and I see it too.’
You noticed two figures now, sitting behind some trees next to the water. You could clearly make out their forms. Tsireya was sitting on her knees in front of Lo’ak, holding his hands in hers. The sight of that made your chest constrict and your breath hitch.
‘I see you,’ you heard Tsireya say before she leaned in, closing the distance between her and Lo’ak by pressing a kiss to his lips.
You couldn’t hold back the gasp that left your lips at the sight in front of you. Tsireya was leaning forward, kissing Lo’ak, who hasn’t moved an inch. But you weren’t focussed on Lo’ak’s reaction, though. For some reason, the only thing you could see were their lips, pressed together, unmoving. It made you feel sick to your stomach.
The sob that left your mouth was what gave you away. Tsireya yerked away from Lo’ak, as if burned by his lips, while the latter turned his head so quickly you were surprised his neck didn’t snap.
‘Y/n,’ Lo’ak said, his voice filled with embarrassment. He shot Tsireya a quick look before he got up on his feet and started toward you. But you backed away, hurt flashing over your features. You didn’t know why seeing them kiss hurt you so much. It was like stones in your heart, making it difficult for the organ to pump around blood, causing you to feel lightheaded.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,’ you mumbled as you continued backing away, your legs trembling. Your heart was beating painfully fast, your mind trying to comprehend what you just witnessed. Lo’ak moved closer, but before he could reach you, you turned on your heels and speed walked away.
‘Y/n, wait!’ Lo’ak called after you, but you ignored him. What were you supposed to say once he stopped you? That you were hurt because of this? How could you even explain that? You were his friend. Just a friend. A friend shouldn’t be hurt by seeing their friend kissing someone else.
Lo’ak kept calling after you, his voice becoming more pleading. Your walking turned to running, desperate to create more distance between the two of you. His voice gradually quieted, a sign he was falling behind, but you could still hear the hurt in it. You felt guilty for ignoring your best friend like that, but at this moment, you couldn’t force yourself to face him.
Lo’ak’s voice eventually faded into the darkness of the night. You weren’t surrounded by the darkness, though, for you had reached the village already. Like always, the village was lively with people sharing food and drinks as they caught up about their day. You scowled at the sight, despising them for being able to do such a mundane thing. You wished you could join in on the conversations, to share a drink with the people, but you didn’t belong. So, you made your way back to your family’s marui, mumbling a quick ‘hello’ to Jake and Neytiri, who looked puzzled, before you laid down in your hammock and pretended to sleep. Thankfully the two adults let you be, knowing you well enough to know you wanted to be left alone.
After you laid down and curled in on yourself, you closed your eyes, trying to get some rest, but sleep didn’t come. Whenever you closed your eyes, all you could see was that kiss. How Tsireya was holding Lo’ak’s hand, how she had leaned forward and kissed him, how Lo’ak didn’t pull away. How she said she saw him.
You didn’t understand the possessive feeling that aroused in you. You didn’t want Lo’ak to kiss Tsireya, you wanted him to kiss you. Those thoughts shocked you, though, making you stiffen in your hammock. You never even thought about the possibility of you having such feelings for your best friend. You’ve always pushed your feelings away after moving to Awa’atlu, but you never realised you had pushed your feelings for others away too. Could you be in love with Lo’ak?
It was as if your thoughts had summoned him, or maybe he had followed you, for right then, Lo’ak walked inside the marui. His footsteps and his heavy breathing were the first things you heard. Has he run after you? You didn’t move and kept your eyes shut, not wanting to let him know you were awake.
‘Y/n,’ Lo’ak said with a breath of relief. You didn’t move. Lo’ak came closer. ‘Y/n, listen to me.’
You could hear him standing right next to your hammock and it was taking you every ounce of willpower to lay still, keeping your eyes closed. A shift in the air made you stiffen, and for a moment, you were afraid Lo’ak was going to reach out to you. But before he could, Jake spoke up.
‘Lo’ak.’ His voice was low and husky, like he knew you didn’t want to be disturbed. ‘Let her be.’
‘But-‘ Lo’ak started, but he was cut off by his mother.
‘Tomorrow,’ Neytiri said, her voice leaving no room for negotiation. She had a feeling she knew what this was about. You’ve talked to her this afternoon, after all.
You couldn’t see Lo’ak’s face, but from the sound of his low hiss, you knew he wasn’t happy. You could feel his eyes on you as he stood next to your hammock for another second, before he finally stepped away. You didn’t know where he went, whether he laid down in his own hammock, or if he left the marui. Wherever he went, you were glad he was gone. It felt like you could finally breathe again.
The next morning, you left the marui before the others woke up, deciding to go for a bath. You haven’t slept well, for that image of Lo’ak and Tsireya kissing kept replaying in your head. The bath you took under the cove of the ancestors helped to clear your head. The people said the water washes you clean, something you believed in as well. The water washed away your stress, making your muscles relax for the first time in a long while. After you washed your hair and body, you applied a moisturising cream to your skin, which made you smell of fresh berries. Kiri taught you how to make this cream, as well as many other moisturizers. Applying this moisturizer has become your routine ever since you moved here. It was one of the few things you found comfort in.
When you felt that you were relaxed enough, you put on your chest piece and loincloth again and wrapped the strap of your oxygen mask around your chest. After gathering your dirty clothes, your soap bar and the cream, you turned on your heels, ready to go back to the village. You had barely taken a step forward when a familiar figure appeared from behind one of the rock formations, making you jump.
‘Wiya,’ you cursed as you halted in your tracks, nearly dropping your stuff on the sand. You shot Lo’ak a fierce look, silently cursing him for scaring you like that. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Sorry,’ Lo’ak apologised as he raised his hands in surrender. ‘Didn’t mean to scare you.’
‘Were you spying on me?’ you asked sharply, ignoring his apology, which made Lo’ak’s eyes widen in shock.
‘Wh- no! No, no, no,’ he responded quickly, taking a few steps toward you. You didn’t back away, but you held your belongings closer to your chest for comfort. ‘I wasn’t spying on you.’
You noticed how his ears pinned back and how his tail lashed behind him, showing his distress. He looked like a child that got caught stealing cookies. You would’ve found it adorable if you weren’t so baffled -and worried- by his sudden appearance.
‘Then what are you doing here?’ You asked again, feeling how your racing heart was slowly calming down.
Lo’ak shifted on his feet, like he was trying to come up with a way to explain himself without sounding like a creep. He took a moment to respond, making you fiddle with the stuff in your hands. You didn’t like how he took his time to come up with an answer, like he was weighing his words carefully.
‘I was...’ Lo’ak started, running a hand through his braids. ‘I was waiting for you.’
‘So, you were following me,’ you said with a breathless chuckle. You didn’t find this funny though, you found this concerning.
The boy’s cheeks turned dark when you called him out, making him avert his gaze to his feet. ‘I’m sorry,’ he mumbled as he kicked at the sand. ‘I just wanted to talk to you, and I was afraid you’d walk away again.’
A soft sigh escaped your lips when you heard his words. Suddenly, you felt guilty for your behaviour last night. You haven’t given your friend the opportunity to explain himself. You had just walked away and given him the cold shoulder. Maybe that was a bit of a shitty move. Maybe you had jumped to conclusions. Maybe he didn’t want to kiss Tsireya... but if that were true, then why didn’t he pull away when she kissed him? The thought of that, of him wanting Tsireya to kiss him, made anger run through your veins.
‘So, you decided to sneak up on me like a creep?’ you snapped, making him flinch. You didn’t feel sorry, though. Instead, you took a step closer as you continued. ‘Did you watch me bathe, Lo’ak?’
If your initial words didn’t already have enough of an effect on him, then your last accusation most certainly did. You noticed how Lo’ak pinned his ears against his skull, nearly making them disappear in his braids. His tail lashed behind him once, sharply, and he gritted his teeth. For a moment, you were afraid he was going to lash out at you. But he didn’t. Instead, he took a step closer as well, towering over you now with his big frame. You weren’t sure if he was trying to assert dominance, but you still refused to back down. You squared your shoulders and exhaled sharply, standing your ground as Lo’ak snapped right back at you, even though your heart was racing.
‘What the hell is up with you and these accusations? I didn’t watch you bathe, y/n. You know I’d never do that!’
Despite the anger, you could also hear the hurt in his voice. It made you feel somewhat guilty for your insinuations. You knew he’d always respect your privacy, but you were too fed up with him to care.
‘Then why are you here?’ you snarled. ‘Why would you wait for me? Shouldn’t you be with Tsireya?’
Lo’ak’s eyes narrowed when you brought up Tsireya. Before you knew it, he stepped forward again, nearly pressing his body against yours. You were certain he was trying to assert dominance now. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your heart race in the best way possible.
‘Is that what all of this is about?’ he asked, his voice no more than a low grumble. ‘You’re worried about Tsireya?’
You averted your gaze to the side, not wanting to admit that you were, indeed, worried about Tsireya. When you didn’t speak, Lo’ak’s nostrils flared, his jaw tightening as he looked down at you. ‘I don’t understand why you’re acting like this, y/n. Tsireya and I-‘
He stopped, swallowing back his words. You were afraid of what he was going to say. Tsireya and I are in love. That thought alone was enough to tear at your heart. Lo’ak opened his mouth to continue, but you beat him to it.
‘You say I’m your friend, but lately I haven’t felt like one,’ you blurted out, voice trembling despite your effort to keep it steady. ‘You’ve spent so much time with Tsireya, I barely see you anymore. Last night, when I saw you with her-‘ Your voice broke, the memory of his lips against Tsireya’s cutting sharp as glass.
‘I felt... replaced. Like I didn’t matter anymore. I’ve always been your best friend, but lately, it’s like I don’t even exist anymore.’
There was a tense silence between you, your words hanging in the air, thick enough to cut through steel. Lo’ak blinked, his bravado flickering. ‘Replaced? That’s not-‘ A sigh as he took a step back, his tail flicking uneasily. ‘I didn’t mean for you to feel that way. I... you could’ve said something! Why didn’t you tell me?’
The defensiveness in his voice teetered on the edge of vulnerability. He was trying to stay angry, but his façade was slipping, making way for hurt and confusion.
You swallowed, desperate to find the right words. ‘Because I was scared, Lo’ak. Scared you wouldn’t...’ You drifted off, the truth was on the tip of your tongue, too heavy to hold back. You were scared to say it out loud, but you’ve already come this far. ‘Scared you wouldn’t feel the same. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong here, and I found comfort in the fact that you felt the same. But then you met her, and you learned the Metkayina way and now you belong.’
A heavy sigh left your lips now, like the words were heavy to speak. Your shoulders slumped and your head lung low, showing your defeat. You were afraid you had already said too much, but it was too late to turn back.
‘I thought... I thought maybe you’d never see me the same way again, because now I’m the only outcast.’ Your voice cracked, filled with emotion. ‘I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. So, I kept it inside. But when I saw you kiss Tsireya, it hurt. I didn’t even think it would hurt, but it does, Lo’ak. It hurts....’
Lo’ak stared at you, silent now, some battle raging behind his eyes. The defensive lines on his face softened, uncertainty creeping in. ‘You think I care about that? About you not being the same as me?’ His voice was rough, almost disbelieving. ‘You're the only person who ever makes me feel like I belong. I never wanted you to feel replaced, y/n. Not ever.’
You searched his face, hope and dread warring in your chest. You had thought he found comfort in Tsireya, that she made him feel like he belonged. Had you been wrong? For a moment, the cove was quiet, filled only with the sound of your uneven breaths and the distant rush of the tide. The air between you was thick with unspoken words, charged with anxiety.
‘Doesn’t Tsireya make you feel like you belong?’ you asked quietly, shifting on your feet.
‘She tries,’ Lo’ak admitted with a sigh, ‘but she’s so good at everything here. I don’t compare to her. It’s a constant reminder that I’m different.’
You understood how he felt, having that constant reminder of being different as well. You looked up at him, biting your lip as you studied his expression. His brows were knitted, his lips were turned down, his eyes fixed on yours... You felt the sudden urge to reach out to him, to hold his hand. You had been fighting so many of your emotions, had been holding it all in, that you decided to let this one out. So, you dropped your stuff to the sand and took a step closer to Lo’ak, whose eyes were boring into you. Slowly, you reached for his hands, giving him the opportunity to pull away if he wanted to. You felt relieved when he didn’t, and gently grasped his hands in yours.
‘Don’t compare yourself to her,’ you said quietly, looking into his eyes now. They held a lot of emotion; regret, anxiety, uncertainty. ‘You are worth more than that, Lo’ak.’
Lo’ak’s fingers wrapped around yours, his large hands completely engulfing yours. In this moment, the worry about your differences seemed to fade away. In this moment, it was just the two of you. You and Lo’ak, like it has always been.
‘I’m still outcast,’ Lo’ak mumbled as he glanced down at your hands, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on the back of your hands. His voice was filled with uncertainty again.
‘Then let’s be outcast together,’ was your response as you took a small step closer, your bodies nearly pressing together now. This seemed to bring a small smile to Lo’ak’s lips, one that made your heart skip a beat.
‘Let’s be outcast together,’ he repeated, pulling you closer into a tight hug.
