DietCokeAddiction

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How I smell like btw🧁

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Finally, 'Only 17 but she walk streets so mean' 🎂 -last 5 minutes of my birthday and none of my friends remembered btw, and I cried too-

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1.22am-Bumped my head on the nightstand and cried, it wasn't about the bumping my head it was about all big and small things I swallowed earlier. Though I can't even cry properly now. It starts natural but then I feel like I'm acting and I'm all fake and I stop. I just stop, get a grumpy mood on then turn all the sadness into anger and start spitting out all the poison like anger in and outside-just to my mom tbh because she's literally the only one trying to speak to me without me trying to speak. I feel like punching myself in the face when I get angry and sad like that, like hitting myself. But I tried pushing the wall thing-I saw it on tiktok or whatever- you just start to push a wall when you feel angry and it works. Grumpy mood got off me and turned into tears again, then I took deep breaths and stroked my hair. Put the ice my mom brought to my head-where I bumped- and then I started blogging on tumbler. Whatever. Didn't talked or looked at that guy that I wrote about before either, it's just a boy after all- 'said the stupid lifeless as she stayed alive without living and pushing the chances once again...' whatever... bye. I wanna cry like a baby but then I feel like a fucking weak baby. fuck being a teenage girl seriously. What the hell is wrong with me. And now I'm crying again... Just fuck this. What kind of dad stops talking to his daughter like a child anyway, I mean he's stupid and I don't even need him at all. I don't even like him. I'm probably looking for a topic to cry right now, fuck him anyway. Whatever, I'll probably cry some more, goodnight...

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I liked a boy my age for the first time, in real life. Don't know anything about him, never spoke to him, just saw him play soccer for the first time and I asked to myself 'who is that boy', then glanced at him twice in the hallway and he glanced back -I think-, hope I wasn't looking creepy, and I walked past his friend group once, I don't even know his name. I really don't know what I'm doing, it's my first time -probably- liking someone in real life in nearly 17 years. I have to focus on my studies, I don't have time for any itsy bitsy relationship bullshit either, but I kinda want this too but like I don't at the same time. Maybe it's nothing and just because he was good looking and it's okay to just to be curious about people, right? I'll probably try to forget about it all together...

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Changed my school because my ex-principal turned out to be a narcissist idiot who used rules as he wished... There is only four people I know in my new school, but with two I don't speak -I don't wish to either- , and with one we're not that close we're more like classmates that talk sometimes and with the only one I'm kinda closer with -which is the only girl in these four- and I were newly classmates just since the beginning of the year though the ¾ of the year is already done but whatever... my friends from my ex-school messaged me too -just one, honestly- but it was just the first day's night so... we'll see how it goes... Wish me luck...

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I'm sick of duolingo's annoying ass but I don't want to waste 517 days either... a narcissist, annoying, stupid owl that acts like a toxic ex...

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Drinking diet coke with a little vodka in it at 1am in the bathroom while I do my math homework I need to show in the morning. Vibing, strange or usual high-school exp, idk, gotta finish this shit, bye...

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Stupid people actually disgust me-no jokes, I feel throwing up. I pity them so much that I even wanna help them get clever so that I don't have to bear their stupidity. Such oxygen wastes! I hate their stupid jokes or questions or their stupid f.ing smile. Like, do you know how much self control I need to be exposed to their stupidity every school day and not even be rude to them or tell them to f. off? I don't ever hate someone because of their race, aperance, style, disorder or anything like that but I hate, hate, hate stupid people. Wish me luck and patience angels...

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I've got a Twilight aesthetic wallpaper now! I don't care how cringe people think the series are but the blue filter aesthetic is so iconic and good.

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I have no desire to live one more day. I just feel like I have to so I do.

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How to get rid of my father, no borax no glue...

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People used to watch horror movies and not be able to fall asleep because they were terrified, yesterday I watched some news and couldn't fall asleep because of the same reason. The concentration camps and ICE in America, violence against women and femicides, that disgusting 🍇 'festival' in Ozoro/Nigeria, wars, the Epstein files, data centers and AI wasting water, and much more. It's like a f.ing horror movie but there are in fact people going through those things. After so long time I scrolled on the Instagram a bit and saw the international news, couldn't sleep just thinking about all those things-let alone getting directly affected. If the world’s gonna end it's not gonna be by the hand of some god but people instead.