imagine youre kris and youre all reserved and cagey and you dont want to tip off your new best friend susie as to how much your parents divorce fucked with you. and then all your adventures take her through divorce themed fantasy lands constructed by your subconscious
who knew it’d take lesbian communist spies to break me out of my art block?
i like to think that each time melita listens to “superbloc, baby,” her memory of the girl she made out with at the club fades a little bit more until she gets replaced with hershel
The stillness of the room quietens your mind as you settle down.
As you are about to drift off, the phone rings. You clumsily reach up and hold it to your ear.
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Operant… are you busy?”
COLD READ [8] SUCCESS
A strange cadence, uneasy syllables stumbling over a sloshing beat.
CASCADE
“Melita.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Yes. It’s me.”
PERSONALISM [8] SUCCESS
She sounds *quite* drunk.
CASCADE
“You’re drinking again.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“‘Again.’ You say it like I stopped.”
CASCADE
“What’s the matter?”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“I just wanted to make sure you’re still there.”
CASCADE
“Where else would I be?”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“I don’t have any idea. That’s why I had to make sure.”
ENTANGLEMENT [12] SUCCESS
She looks out over Novessa – bleary eyed, searching.
CASCADE
“I’m here.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Good. That’s very good to hear.”
CASCADE
“What’s going on, Mel?”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Another operant was zeroed out in-theatre today."
“No one you’d know. HOPSCOTCH. Our old hand in Mircea, executed by monotheists.” She swallows. “Whole network lost as well.”
CASCADE
“I’m sorry.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Oh, yes, we’re all very sorry. It’s a *highly regrettable* situation overall.” Her voice is slightly unsteady.
“HOPSCOTCH will get their unmarked star at the Palace of Culture. Tonight, all the controllers will go out to the Hyacinth Bar and drink Vana Kohila until we can barely walk.”
CASCADE
“And you’ll just show up the next day…”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Like nothing happened. Because that’s our role. Who would answer your calls if I didn’t?”
CASCADE
“Who messed up?”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Too early to say. HOPSCOTCH hadn’t checked in for 48 hours, so I called their magic box and a voice I’d never heard before answered."
“It was a woman. Older, absolutely nonchalant. Like a pensioner’s, I thought. I said I must have misdailed, and do you want to know what she said?”
COLD READ [9] SUCCESS
Of course you do.
CASCADE
“What was it?”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“‘It’s alright, dear. Nothing to get hung about.’ Of course that’s when I knew HOPSCOTCH was dead.”
ENTANGLEMENT [8] SUCCESS
Feet swaying gently, a few feet above the ground. The laces of their left shoe have come untied.
. . . . .
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“I’ll remember her voice for a very long time.”
CASCADE
Say nothing, let her have a moment.
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Don’t just sit there while I discompose myself. Say something.”
PERSONALISM [8] SUCCESS
This took a very sad turn. It won’t be easy to swing it back around.
INSTINCTS [8] SUCCESS
Life sparkles in death’s presence, magnificent and fragile. Draw her close.
PERSONALISM [16]
[+3] Train ride home.
[+2] She likes your picture.
[+2] Miracle Melita.
[+1] Fronted lucre.
[+1] Sympathetic.
[+1] Draw her close.
Tell her what she means to you.
PERSONALISM [16] SUCCESS
Even if you survive this assignment and live for her to give you a hundred more, you may never get another chance to bare your heart like this.
CASCADE
“I never feel I’ve experienced something until I’m telling you about it afterwards.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Don’t talk shit, CASCADE.”
CASCADE
“You know how I feel about you.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“I’m tired of pretending. There are dozens of other controllers, it would be the same with them.”
PERSONALISM
An invitation rather than an accusation.
SENSORS [8] SUCCESS
You hear her breath so clearly that you feel its phantom on your neck. As far away as ever, and somehow within reach.
CASCADE
“Do you know why they put us together?”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Operants perform better in-theatre when they share a bond with their controller. So, yes – the psychomancers recommended that we be paired.”
COLD READ [8] SUCCESS
So they recommended she be paired with HOPSCOTCH, too.
CASCADE
“You sound disappointed that they think I’m made for you.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Or I, for you. To them, it wouldn’t make a difference which way round it was. If there’s a difference at all.
CASCADE
“By ‘bond’ you mean ‘unrealized erotic thing’?”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Your description.”
COLD READ [10] SUCCESS
One she can’t co-sign.
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“They say it has to be natural or it doesn’t work. So I guess it must be real.”
CASCADE
“Cool, just checking.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Mhm.”
She laughs softly into your ear.
CASCADE
“If you don’t want to pretend, then call me by my name.”
You hear a sharp intake of breath.
SENSORS [7] SUCCESS
Goosebumps rise on your neck.
PERSONALISM
It didn’t seem like shock, but pleasure at the question, and then at the sound of your anticipation.
CASCADE
“Please.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“CASCADE…”
POETICS [10] SUCCESS
But for once it sounds like a prayer.
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“I can’t. I wouldn’t be able to take it back.”
INSTINCTS [9] SUCCESS
She wants a lover. She wants you.
CASCADE
“Keep talking. I want to hear your voice.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“You’re getting too comfortable.” Her smile, audible. “What would you like me to say?”
CASCADE
“Tell me your name.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“It’s ‘Melita’ when you say it. Even though it’s false, I can hear the intent of me on your lips. And that makes it true.”
CASCADE
“Melita.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Come on, don’t do that.”
PERSONALISM
She doesn’t want you to stop.
CASCADE
“Tell me that I’m a good operant.”
Laughter, golden brown.
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“You are reckless, undependable, disorderly…” A hiccup, more laughter. “You once told me you recruit assets based on ‘feel.’ You are *terrible*.”
SENSORS [8] SUCCESS
Adoration in every hit.
CASCADE
“You love me.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Don’t do that.”
PERSONALISM
She means it this time.
CASCADE
“Tell me what you look like.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“I have… brown eyes, a high arched nose. A pointed chin. A slight but constant frown… like I’m always considering a problem.” She giggles. “I have blonde hair, cut to my jaw.”
COLD READ [8] SUCCESS
That’s you.
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“I’m also quite pale. So pale that the dark circles under my eyes quite suit me, like decorations rather than insomnia. But I’m probably a little flushed at the moment…”
CASCADE
“You’re describing me, Mel.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“Am I? Maybe I was just getting us mixed up, you’re so close now.
“What do you imagine when you think of me?”
CASCADE
“How you feel, what it would be like to touch you.
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“I don’t feel like anything. I’m a ghost, an error. Even if you could hold yourself to me, wrap yourself in me, there’d be nothing.”
SENSORS [11] SUCCESS
You throb at her words. Your heart dances, your nipples ache.
CASCADE
“Be something, just for a moment.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“But then I wouldn’t be me.”
CASCADE
“It’s getting late, Mel.”
MELITA, YOUR CONTROLLER
“It is. Thank you for talking to me, I suppose tonight our roles were reversed.”
The line deadens to a low, constant tone. It sounds like a lament.
andulkaphoto
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