nowhere else to go

[mac-attack07]

fuck, i wish this was easier

i wish i could tell you everything that ever traumatized me

but i can’t because i pushed that shit away

and now im broken and hard to love

[mac-attack07]

I’m so neurodivergent that i cry because i can’t get any words out to describe how i feel. So then I just sit there with the words on the tip of my tongue, crying, hurt, and confused. Nobody understands a person that can’t communicate their words. Nobody understands a quiet person with a million conversations stuck in their head.

[neckkiss]

via weheartit

[mac-attack07]

you’re everything i never knew existed. you’re everything i never knew i needed.

[mac-attack07]

i dunno what happened but a tsunami came and wiped us all out. everything changed in a matter of seconds and there’s nothing i can do to fix any of it.

a natural disaster took place

life forever different

[mothurs]

[llxty2-deactivated20250816]

[kiymaliruj-deactivated20201202]

[mac-attack07]

I can’t give 100 if I don’t get 100. That’s what I’ve learned about myself in the last 5 years or so. That’s why I had failed relationships, that’s why they fizzled. It doesn’t matter who you are, I’ll give you 100 until I don’t receive it in return. I can’t work harder than you for something that involves two people. I’ll lose interest. I’ll lose motivation. You’ll lose me.

[mac-attack07]

make my existence feel like a road block or a pet peeve and I’ll be gone even quicker than I came

[mac-attack07]

- I feel misunderstood and unwanted and I know those are fears I’ve created myself but I don’t know how to rid them without feeling like I’m asking too much.

maybe what I say really has no value and what I feel isn’t for anybody else to feel. I want to be calm and safe and my mind is refusing to let me feel those two harrowingly unattainable feelings. I just want to be loved like no one has loved me before..

[mac-attack07]

I went underground and buryed my losses

I don’t want to be found and nobody searched

worth is low,

anxiety is high,

I dont know how much bigger these waves will grow

I just wait for the release

[mac-attack07]

For some reason stepping out of your comfort zone and learning more about humanity is something that I haven’t noticed a lot of us wanting to do. Maybe it’s just the uncomfortableness of it? Or maybe it’s the fact that we really don’t actually want to. I have too many things I want to complete to even list, before i know that I am done experiencing the world. I think more people need to leave their hometowns, I think more people need to take moments out of their day to research something brand new. I think we need to be consciously evolving to keep up with what is happening in our world. We can’t just turn on the news and expect other people to keep us in the loop. If you hadn’t noticed, our world is getting more and more batshit. Everything is a fight. Everything seems to be a stance of “well, this is my view and here’s why yours is wrong”. More listening. Less talking, especially when you don’t have a formulated opinion that didn’t come from your local news channel. If you aren’t willing to leave your safe bubble of privilege, bias, and animosity, then you are in for a sad, sad life.

[mac-attack07]

i got lost because you felt so much like home.

[mac-attack07]

Today is a win for me.

A really petty, stupid, immature win but I’m claiming it anyway.

Today it was confirmed to me,(because I really don’t care if you agree or not) that I am way hotter than my exes new girlfriend.

I win.

[mac-attack07]

I still remember how you felt to be close to me, how your body felt in my hands, and how you tasted on my lips.

[understands]

[destroymylife]

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