misery.

multi-muse indie blog. 18+ only due to potential nsfw scenes including sex, drugs, and violence. click navi button for more.

[macabrc-blog1]

radiosilcnced·:

                           resignation settled over her, a feeling she was now all too familiar with, and her heart sank. she should’ve known, she should have stayed away. how many times had she told herself that it was too good to be true? hindsight was a wonderful thing. “wow, okay.” she snatched her hand away before he could grasp it; she couldn’t quite bear for him to touch her now. “kinda wish you’d have figured this out a little bit sooner,” her tone was bitter, “would’ve saved us both a lot of time and effort.” despite the obvious lack of humour about the whole situation, a breath of laughter forced its way past her lips. “oh, spare me. we both know who you’re doing this for, and it certainly isn’t me.”

as her hand slipped from his, forrest knew in that moment that he was forever going to be known as an asshole for this. and, anybody would be right in thinking so. there were just too many secrets that he held close to his chest, and the last thing he wanted was for someone as sweet as her to find out the terrible things he had done. of course, it was only his own insecurities making him believe such a thing, but he was not yet brave enough to find out what really would happen if he were to divulge. “i’m sorry,” he started, though knew that no amount of apologies would rectify this. “it’s not something i’ve done lightly. you know, i wished it never got to this point either. i suppose i was hoping something would be different, but it isn’t and i know that nothing i say will make this right.” forrest sighed heavily, closing his eyes briefly. “i don’t regret anything though, and i have enjoyed every moment with you. it breaks me to have to do this, but you just wouldn’t understand. i’m not who you think i am, and if you were to find out - especially if we were to take things to the next step - then i fear you’d be far more upset and angry. i am doing this for you, i swear on it. i just...” forrest was trying to be as truthful as he could be, but it was difficult to do so whilst sticking to his story. “could you really see us together in the long run?”

[macabrc-blog1]

radiosilcnced·:

                              it had come out of nowhere, as did the unexpected dread that washed over her as she looked up. at first she thought he was joking, but one look at his face told her that this was not the attempt at humour she had hoped. eyes narrowed as she surveyed him critically for a moment, arms folded over her chest as she considered his words. had something happened? had she done something? she couldn’t get her head around it; he had seemed so content talking about the future only yesterday. “what happened?” she fought to keep her voice steady, as if his words hadn’t upset her. “you saw a future yesterday…what, did you just change your mind?”

forrest’s eyes diverted away from the woman’s because he couldn’t bare the thought of looking at her right now through his own guilty conscious. he didn’t want to see her upset, but he knew it was inevitable and he cursed himself for repeating this shitty move of his again and again knowing the consequences that would unfold. “i just,” he started, threading a hand through his hair as he tried to desperately think of something to say, “i don’t know. i think i was too caught up in the moment yesterday, and then today reality just hit me and i realised it just can’t happen. and i know it’s cliche to say this, but it really is a case of ‘it’s not you, it’s me’.” and that was a line he’d used before, but seemingly never learned from. forrest reached out to take her hand in his, “i didn’t change my mind, i’m still... i do still like you. i just don’t know if i could ever love you and it would be cruel of me to string you along giving you false belief. i’m doing this for you, honestly. you can do better.”

[macabrc-blog1]

themonkeysmuses·:

Hyde laughed at the man and shrugged. “You know me. Always ready Cosmo.” he shrugged, smirking. It had taken Hyde a long time to lighten up about his sexuality and about his masculinity. He could remember a time when he’d punch someone in the face for accusing him of reading cosmo, but now, he supposed it just didn’t mean as much to him.  He shrugged and sipped at the new drink as he was questioned. “I don’t know, you’re not showing enough skin.” the military man teased before smiling softly at him.  “I’m not sure, a smile perhaps, maybe not having talked about the love of your life only a few minutes ago?” he chuckled. “But you know after this drink I might just say fuck it anyway.”

“Showing enough skin?” Jagger rolled his eyes, though granted he was wearing a button up with the top-button fastened securely at the collar. So, to make a point, he slowly (almost teasingly) begun to unbutton his shirt, revealing a little more tattooed skin with each one. “There, is that better for you?” Jagger asked with a grin, taking his glass in hand and sipping from it delicately. “I’ve given you loads of smiles now! Look at me, look at how adorable I am when I’m not talking about my ex.” The younger joked, before pouting across to Hyde, “You are so mean-- I mean I’m not gonna say no, but as if you need to drink before you say yes!”

[macabrc-blog1]

themonkeysmuses·:

“I don’t think replacing someone helps.” Hyde said as he leaned his cheek into his palm, humming. He picked up his drink again to swirl it in his hand. “You have to heal yourself before finding someone else. Or summat like that.” he shrugged going quiet again as he faced his drink again, finishing off the scotch quick before Jagger got them another round. When the man looked him in the eyes, Hyde opened and shut his mouth a few times letting out a few grunts before he shrugged and looked back at the bar. “Well you just turned to me and did it.” he said finally, as he twiddled with his thumb. “If you sounded a tad more convincing I would have, probably.”

Jagger chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment, thinking about what Hyde was saying, and he had to give the other some credit. “I mean, it sounds like you just read that out of a Cosmo magazine but it actually sounds pretty accurate, all the same.” The man sighed, before mouthing a ‘thank you’ to the bartender as the drinks were presented in front of the two. Tilting his head to his shoulder, he rolled his eyes as a playful smirk spread across his lips, “Oh, you ‘probably’ would have, huh?” Jagger teased, keeping his eyes on the other man. “What more convincing could you possibly need?”

[macabrc-blog1]

x muse: forrest x open to: m/f x connection: the honeymoon period of the couple has ended; as they reach the line of becoming ‘serious’, it’s over all too quickly without an explanation.

forrest hated doing this-- you’d think after ending several relationships over the past few years, he’d perhaps learn to stop becoming romantically involved with anybody if he never planned on settling. but yet, his heart felt empty and he was forever aching the touch of someone else even if it was only for several months at a time. it was always the moment when it was reaching close to stepping over the ‘serious’ line, he knew he needed to bail no matter how he felt deep down. and so, as he locked eyes with the other, he let out a heavy sigh. “i just don’t think we’re right anymore,” he lied through his teeth, “and i’m sorry, and i feel awful as i know only yesterday we were talking of the future, but i just... i don’t see that future anymore. it’s over.”

[macabrc-blog1]

rcbbinmuses·:

“i think that perhaps they’re a bit afraid of you so they don’t say anything,” paris teased. sure, jagger went out on the weekends that he didn’t have his children and did stupid things, but at least he was doing it whilst they were away. so paris figured that’s what mattered the most. paris took back the shot that jagger slid her way and just as she had her other drink appeared on the bar top and she thanked the bartender. the small woman put her finger against her lips thinking when she decided to go off and fuck some man for his money – it was just to have extra cash really since she could make her own money perfectly fine. “i dunno, i think like a month or so ago,” she recollected as she dropped her hand from her face. seeing the pout on his face, the woman reached up to pinch at his cheek. “aw, you look so cute when you’re mad,” she teased further. “i don’t think it makes you trash. i mean, it isn’t all just sex with the sugar daddy thing. you do your own thing, set your own rules, you just have a needy, clingy bitch comin’ at you for money here and there. it’s a good time, honestly,” she said and shrugged. “and besides, it’s like a no strings attached kinda deal and who doesn’t want that, you know?”

“a month ago, and i’m only finding out now? fuck, that’s ridiculous.” the man laughed with a shake of his head, “i can’t believe you’ve been holding this vital information from me, we could have started a sugar daddy business, or something!” jagger joked, flashing a grin before knocking back the shot. “mm, i’m not cute at all! i’m supposed to be a manly man.” except, his persistent whining over the past hour certainly ruined that perception of him already. “wait, so you basically pay someone to fuckin’ worship your ass? because now that, that i am down with.” jagger grinned, his narcissistic side slipping through just a tad. “i need validation, i need someone to tell me i’m hot like all the time. i should totally find a fuckin’ sugar baby or whatever they’re called. and exactly, no strings is what i need because i am done with settling down and having my heart ripped out. fuck feelings.”

[macabrc-blog1]

themonkeysmuses·:

Hyde looked over, with a brow raised. He wasn’t a man of many words so he simply continued sipping at his cold scotch as he listened to the troubled man besides him.  After the rant had ended, he letting out a grunt as he shrugged, furrowing his brows for a moment before finally speaking. “It sounds as if you’re still pretty bitter about it, mate.” he hummed looking over.  “If you think you’re so…uh…fuckable, I suppose, you should just do that.” he shrugged.

Jagger sighed, threading his fingers through his car because what if the other was right. “Maybe I am, but maybe that’s because I haven’t found someone to replace him with yet. This is my problem, and I need to fix it pronto.” He swirled his drink in his glass, before tossing it back down his throat and slamming the glass back onto the counter. Raising a finger, he flagged the attention of the bartender to order another round for himself and the man beside him. “You know what, yeah, I should. Just... I do not have the confidence to turn to someone and be like,” Jagger shifted his body so he was facing Hyde, looking him direct in the eyes, “I think we should fuck.”

[macabrc-blog1]

rcbbinmuses·:

the young woman had to laugh seeing the little shake dance from the overly tattooed and overly muscled man, it looked comedic coming from someone his size but nonetheless she was glad that he was attempting to shake off his ex and the topic of him all together. “if you ever do that again just know i’m exposing you on snapchat for the world to see,” she said playfully. “consider isaac to be fucking lord voldemort okay? we don’t speak of him ever. i’ll expecto patronum you and him if he comes up in conversation again,” she warned. and although it came off as a joke, paris and of meant it. she wanted her friend to get over his ex, she wanted him to go out, live his life, to meet a new someone that could possibly get his heart and treat him right. jagger was special and held a special place in her heart – maybe because he was like an overgrown child and she needed to watch after him. and she’d do anything to make sure he was living his best life. “i’ve a dick, but i don’t think it’s the kind you’re into but ya know, if you get desperate enough you’ve got my number hot stuff,” she teased and even gave him an exaggerated wink. “look, stranger things have happened, mick. how do you think i bagged a sugar daddy, hm?” she asked, obviously kidding though.

“you expose me on snapchat all the fucking time i swear, it’s a wonder i haven’t been contacted by fucking child protection yet for being a terrible father who’s hungover ass is all over the place,” jagger chuckled, knocking back the shot and placing the empty glass back onto the table. “mm, that he is,” the elder agreed, the sharpness of the alcohol evident on his features. “okay, you’ve got yourself a deal. the topic ends now.” he gave an affirmative nod, turning to his drink for some more courage in the long run. “wait what, reverse up a bit,” jagger said holding a hand up, “since when the fuck have you been fuckin’ a sugar daddy and where was my cut in all this?” the man said, arms folding across his chest as he offered up his best pout. “maybe i need a sugar daddy, or maybe i could be the sugar daddy. i mean, i’m big enough, right? i’m dominant. and i’m pretty well off? but then if i’m paying someone to have sex with me... that makes me trash.”

[dailyoliversykes-deactivated202]

📸 | Jonathan Weiner

[vacateetscire-deactivated201810]

✨ 🌹’. open to f/m/nb

          his hands ran through his messy hair as guilt increased inside of him. he had promised her to be faithful and to come home straight after work. he was lucky she had given him another chance and yet there he was in an old dusty motel room with the other. the male’s hazel colored hues wandered to the small bright screen whilst noticing several missed calls and messages from his girlfriend. mitch inhaled deeply before pursing his red tinted rosebuds together. what was it about them that kept drawing him back? he refused to believe he had developed feelings for someone else but telling himself he didn’t care, would only be a lie. the male got up, pulling the soft fabric of his shirt over his head. “i don’t think i can do this anymore,”

[macabrc-blog1]

for dexter, this situation suited him perfectly. with mitch, because of his girlfriend, everything had to be behind closed doors. it meant they could sleep together and nobody would have to suspect anything at all-- for someone not willing to ‘come out’ about his sexuality, it was the perfect storm. but now mitch was standing in front of him, pulling a shirt over the body that had been beneath him a few moments earlier. as he lie with his head resting against his palm, elbow propped on the mattress, dexter shook his head, “what the fuck are you on about?” he asked, rolling his eyes. “how many times have you said that line before? forgive me for not believing you.”

[macabrc-blog1]

rcbbinmuses·:

“but isn’t that what you are doing? i think i’ve heard more about your ex no than i did when you guys were together. you have to let that shit go, mate. otherwise you’re never gonna get your dick wet,” she pointed out before she finished up her minty drink. “or you’ll do the typical thing and get fucked up one night and you’ll call him and just pop your balls on his face and then what? you’re back at square one. thinking about him, talking about him, getting pissed about him. he’s not worth it, plus he wasn’t even that cute, just saying!” the woman said, smirking some as she ordered herself another drink. “they are, and if you think they’re awful you’d be right. but i like to think any man willing to suck a dick from a hole in a club bathroom is a brave man. and can probably make you come quicker than you ever have before. like, if i had a dick,” paris said and began grinning immediately. “i’d definitely stick it in there just for a try. plus who knows, maybe your actual soul mate is behind that hole. you know, take chances, live a little!”

jagger held his tongue for the moment, as much as he wanted to argue against his friend’s words, but alas-- paris was right. “true, i need to just. ugh. shake outta this shit.” the man lifted his arms, so he could do a full body shake to make a point, before tossing his head back with a laugh. “alright, second point is to never do that again. i swear, i hang out with children far too much.” jagger snorted, circling his straw around his cocktail. “i’m not gonna go back to him! i mean, it’s only happened like once. okay, maybe twice,” jagger pondered on that thought before holding up a finger, “granted, it has happened quite a lot but i can’t help it! whilst he fucking infuriated me to no end, the sex was incredible and i really think that’s all that held us together for a while.” and oh, there we go, back to talking about him. “right okay fuck it, from this moment on, no talk about you know who.” jagger said, before waving down the bartender for another drink with an additional two shooters on the side. sliding one over to paris, he raised a brow, “you probably aren’t wrong on that one-- you’ve got to be a certain kind of person to be that fucking trusting. you know, if you had a dick i doubt we’d be sat here having a conversation right now.” the man teased with a playful chuckle. “maybe prince charming is just a gloryhole slut. there, i said it.”

[macabrc-blog1]

rcbbinmuses‌:

when paris got the call from jagger that he needed a night out the woman was more than happy to go out with him. business was slow, she was tired of sitting in her place alone and really, she needed a drink – and a fuck. and so did jagger, and she was going to help him find the twinkiest of all thinks to fuck the shit out of even if it took her all night. sat beside him at the bar, paris nursed a mojito and laughed as he spoke about his dry spell. taking a sip, paris set her glass down and said, “you’re not gonna get laid wallowing about the past, genius. you gotta get out there and play the field, grind on some asses or visit the glory hole in the bathroom.”

“i’m not wallowing,” jagger groaned, rolling his eyes, but it was exactly what he was doing. if he wasn’t thinking about his ex, he was talking about him. whilst the majority of the words were never pleasant, he was still hung up on the entire situation. “wait, are gloryholes like an actual thing? i’m concerned as to how they work, and also the hygiene levels. i mean, at this point i’ll stick my dick in anything but like, not anything. you get me?” the man asked, lifting his drink to his lips and taking a swig.

[macabrc-blog1]

OPEN TO ALL // M ONLY FOR ROMANCE

connections; wing-man, (terrible) first date, hook-up, drinking partner

if anything, jagger was fuckin’ glad that his ex had the kids for the night because it meant he could wallow in his own self-pity with a long island iced tea in hand. “i’m not even bitter about it anymore,” jagger lied to the person beside him, “i mean, i can do better than that anyway, right? like, look at me!” he gestured down to his body as if to make a statement. “i swear to god, i think i just need to get fucking laid and end this dry spell before i explode.”