de[pre//sed

☾Inspired by Zoella's Girl Online☽ i swear if necessary ☹ i cry if i had enough ☻ i write to feel better ♡

[depressionarmy]

how do you craft a lifeboat for this

[depressionarmy]

how do you craft a lifeboat for this

[macfettiblog-blog]

Update

So like I said on my last post Im going to make a website for my blog, it’s going to take a while because I’m still going to study all about the HTML’s again

Hope you bear with me with my blogs! Thank you! Marcy Jade OUT

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ANNOUNCEMENT

hey guys! i have a HUGE announcement!

I- I am going to delete this blog and create a blog with a page on its own, like no macfettiblog.TUMBLR.com. But I’m not going to delete it now, I’m going to delete this blog as soon as I finish making my page, and also before that, I’ll post the link here to my blog (If ever I finish making it) and after 24 hrs I’ll delete it. Not unless I have any plans on what I’m going to do in this blog.

But my previous posts here, I’m going to repost it on my blog as soon as I finish it. Anyways MARCY JADE OUT!!! xx

[timid]

[macfettiblog-blog]

Don't you see? I'm trying to die over here.

anonymous

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My Human Baymax- September 14 2015, Monday

I don't understand, why do I have this "feeling" for Angelo. I haven't told him yet that I like him. But I'm planning to, but I'm scared. I'm scared because everyone who said "I'll be always right by your side" left. I'm scared to fall for him. But why did I fall. I'd doubt he'd catch me.. Okay let's stop this overthinking session. I went to school early, I arrived by 7:30 am. I was actually waiting for Angelo. He came by the time of 7:50 am, when he went inside in the classroom, I badly want to run to him and hug him. He's like my Baymax. But only human. Then he asked me to show my wound from my assignment and also my wound from my suicide cut which I attempted to die yesterday, 13. After he saw it, he then look at me and smiled at me disappointedly. Then he said something in our country language, "Don't suicide, please." I smiled at him back, which I'm still planning to cut again tonight. I backward myself to the chairs surrounding me, then he stepped forward to me. I had the urge again to kiss him at the lips, but, Marcy, no. Then I hugged him, then let him go. Then I walked towards him and he stepped backward because he knows I wanted to go somewhere, but then I hugged him. Then while hugging him, I kissed his left cheek, then his right cheek at a long rate of time. Then I placed my head on his right side and he said "Please don't cut." But anyways, let's stop making my tummy having butterflies. And why on earth would I write a story long about a boy. Geez, Marcy, it's just a boy, he'll just leave you. I'm planning to go to mall today because Starbucks and Badminton racket for my Gym class. But I don't know who should I go with, I'm planning to tell Angelo that I'm going because anywhere I will go, is where he's going too. Or maybe I'll ask my tutor besties to come with me. I don't know, I don't like going outside alone. But if I'm forced to go outside, and I'm lonely, I'd rather be lonely than hanging out with bunch of fake people. After the day ended, I went to the mall and bought my badminton racket which cost $100 😭😂, Multigrain Bagel and Smores from Starbucks. Now I'm broke af 😭😂 Also before I went to mall, Angelo and I were the only ones whose left at the classroom. Of course, I hugged him many times. Anyways that's all I have to say for today because I really had a bad day, that's all I want to tell this atm, even though I said I'll be open here at my blog. But anyways, bye! ~ Like ♡ Comment (make sure it's a positive one) ♡ Reblog ♡ —marcy a.k.a mcf ☓☓☓

[macfettiblog-blog]

Little Sapling - September 12 2015, Saturday

So we went tree planting today, I have nothing much to say on that experience except for when I fell from a long distance and my classmates and teacher saw me fell. Pretty embarrassing yet funny though 😂 My teacher found it cute that I fall. Also, we just planted a sapling, not a literal seedling of a tree, I don't know what type of tree did I planted, but at least I helped, lol. So after tree planting we went straight to school, it was still 10 am, then I waited for Angelo to come by 11 am, because I said to my Driver he'd pick me up by 1pm, but I said he'll just pick me up by 12, but I changed my mind again, and said 11:30 am, so Angelo and I had only 30 minutes to see each other. We were actually planning to go to movies, but when I said to him I'm going 11:30 am, he cancelled it. Anyways what we did was just hanging out the hallway, sitting on the benches. I had the urge to hug him soo badly. So I raised my arms towards him giving my pouty face, he knows that I want a hug, so he give me a hug. I repeated that how many times, I can't even count how many times we hugged that day. Then when it was 11:30 am, I said bye, then hugged him for a long time, but the driver didn't arrived yet. Then by 11:38 am, I said bye again, for sure because I know, any minute from now he'd arrived. I hugged him for a long time, while hugging I kissed his left cheek, then I transferred to his right side, then kissed his right cheek for a long time, then he also cuddled on my neck. Then my driver arrived, I hugged him one more time, and ran off to the car. I said to the driver to take me to the mall because I haven't eaten lunch yet. I went to Starbucks, ordered a Green Tea Frappucino and Multigrain Bagel, then after I received my order, I went ahead to S&R, to get a slice of pepperoni pizza. After I got my order, I ran off to the car, while on the trip, I decided to rat the bagel first, I added unsalted butter on the top then Strawberry Spread, then I ate it, later on I noticed that the bagel is being half-ed (iykwim), then I decided to turn the top of the bagel then made it into a bagel sandwich, which gave me an idea for a youtube video. Then I drank my GT Frappe, but I didn't finished it bc I was full. When I arrived home, I hurriedly opened the pizza box, and ate the slice. Then I finished the frappe by the next day 😂 But anyways that's it for September 11's experience! ☺️ No negative comments please, think before you post a negative comment 😊 Ooooh I have a question, Should I start making YouTube videos? Leave a suggestion of an idea of a video below! Like ♡ Comment (make sure it's a positive one) ♡ Reblog ♡ —marcy a.k.a mcf ☓☓☓

[zxasqwcvfd-deactivated20190828]

No, it’s okay. It only hurts a lot.

(via wallflooweerr)

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Anxious Girl being Cuddled

Hey guys! It's me, mcf, my full name's Marcy Jade. You can call me Marcy (or Mar) or MJ, or just mcf. It's Thursday today, sept 10, 11:00 pm while writing this... Tomorrow is the day.. The day I will know my grades of my 1st quarter performance. I feel anxious, what if I fail, I'm probation at education. One failing mark (75 below) means you're kicked out of the school. What will my friends think of me? What will my family think of me? Will they hate me? Well obviously yes, Marcy, they'll hate you. Ugh. I'm very anxious of the subject Art and my Language Class. Also a bit anxious of my I.T grades but my teacher already told us our grades in I.T, so no worries, it's just 88, I'll improve next time and do my best shot. Anyways I'll stop overthinking now and start telling you what happened today. As usual, ordinary school days. 2 subjects, then recess, then 2 subjects, then lunch, then 3 subjects, then dismissal + 2 hours of waiting for my batch in tutor + 1 hour & 45 minutes in tutor. But in recess and lunch, me and Angelo always hang out. It's not like were boyfriend and girlfriend because I'm just freshmen, like what the heck, why would I have a boyfriend at this stage in highschool. But what turned me on today that this morning before the first bell rang, like minutes before the first bell really rang, he took his arm (one arm only), he wrapped his arm on my arm-ish - neck-ish part, and then he started putting his face on my neck and cuddled me. What a cutie. But I did my gross face though, even though I found it cute. My classmates thought he kissed me, nahh, too young and fresh for that 💁 Then we had this serious time at Science Time, where we were talking about our grades and our teacher told us to improve, especially on the performance task because it's 40% of the grading system. But I guess that's it I have to tell you for today, see you tomorrow! I'll tell y'all what are my grades tomorrow and my day experience tomorrow. like ♡ comment (make sure its a positive comment) ♡ Reblog ♡ —mcf ☓☓☓

[macfettiblog-blog]

Heyy - September 8 2015; Tuesday

Hey guys! Here are some reasons why I'm making a blog: 1.) anxiety 2.) depressed 3.) suicidal 4.) school hates me 5.) i don't know how to explain it in words, because mostly, in writing, you can type what's everything in your head easier without any hassle 6.) lastly, I don't know how to love myself yeah, i know this blog may be kind of negative, but those are just reasons. i am most likely to be INDEPENDENT on saying things here. I can be mean, happy, sad and etc, but i am going to be completely honest here in this blog with my feelings, since im anonymous. oh if you're wondering, i am actually a teenage girl, so this is the stage where drama is most likely to hit me hard. ps. im sometimes going to be swearing (i actually made a blog, but i swear to much so i made a new one and said to myself to not make it obvious that im that person, well there's 7 bill, people, so i wont mind. also i told myself to swear, but just try to avoid, but i can swear when i want to, dont worry I'll try my best not to, and if i ever do, I apologize) also! one note that im telling you is that I'll be using names, including myself, as the blogger, but just to be more safe and anonymous, I'll be replacing the real names that i mention to some names that randomly pops up in my mind (dont even try to figure out who is who because not even the starting letter of the "blog" names I'll be calling them is not that close to their names so yeah. i guess thats the orientation (iykwim) in this blog. I really hope you'll enjoy some of my stories I'll be sharing (literally). Comment down below if you have any tips for me to handle my negativity! :) —mcf