❤️💙Lousy Ultimate Lifeform... 💙❤️ @sapphire-heart-tippy - Tumblr Blog

Aug 12, 2021

Currently fixated on my PixieKars au!!

Note: You may see some drawings of me and Kars. That au, Irradiated Heart, is an alternate universe completely separate from my original Sapphire Heartverse!

🏳️‍🌈I LOVE MY HUSBANDS!!!🏳️‍🌈

Minors DNI: I am not comfortable with those under 18 following me

Non-sharer: I am a non-sharing selfshipper! I have no hard feelings towards those who share my f/os or who enjoy sharing, and I would very much prefer it if you didn't interact with me. I will soft block or hard block those who share my f/os and choose to follow me, but please know that this does not mean that I dislike you! This is for my own comfort /not mad

Tippy/Pixie/Tulip | Ze/zem/zeir - Fae/faer - They/them | Achillean Demisexual Trans Nonbinary

x y z a b x

credits below: (nonsharer and Vanilla's husband ones are mine)

x y a b c d

EXTRA INFO UNDER THE CUT:

How to pronounce my neopronouns!

How to use my neopronouns!:

"Ze went to the store to get zemself some tapioca pearls for zeir bubble tea. Ze's excited for that treat! Would you like to join zem? Zeir favorite flavor is strawberry!"

"Fae likes to draw cartoons, and even has drawings of faerself. Fae needs to get more paint for faer art supplies because fae's running low. You can ask fae what faer favorite paint is!"

Alternate Universe stuff below!

The Sapphire Heartverse official fanfic!

Sugar Crash Void Bash fanfic! (sequel)

Pillars of Darkness fanfic! (end of trilogy) [COMING SOON]

Warrior of The Blizzard (PixieWam au)

I also have an alternate alternate alternate universe where I ship with Kars called "Irradiated Heart"!

Irradiated Heart (separate au from the original - This one is with Kars)

• Intro to Tippy my jjba s/i and Sapphire Heart (might redo someday)

• Ramón's origins (mine and Vanilla's son)

(Currently in the process of redoing Bel's backstory. I want to change and add a few things)

• BelTipVans first kiss (beginning of being in a polycule)

💙 I have had this blog since 2016. I am not the same person I was when I was a teenager, or hell, even at 22. I have made some vast changes to, not only my way of thinking, the words/phrases I use and say, but my personality as well. If you see old posts and go, "That doesn't seem like something Tippy would say/think/draw/write." That's because it's not. I am 27 years old now, and have since matured over the years, and am continuing to mature. I have gone through name, gender, and pronoun changes in the span of about 7 years. If you have any questions or concerns, please speak to me directly.

More info about that here

💜 Having said that, PLEASE do not hesitate to tell me if something I say or do is offensive, I will correct that behavior right away. I would rather somebody tell me directly what I'm doing is not okay and why I need to stop, instead of just blocking me and assuming I did something out of malice rather than ignorance and being unaware.

💙 I am a "non-sharer". I will ignore other selfship things involving my fictional others (Vanilla and Wamuu), Please block me if you share Vanilla as a romantic f/o, no hard feelings I just get very uncomfortable.

💙 I'm not comfortable with minors following me because the things I post can be suggestive! I will also not follow you back if you're a minor either! Please do not interact if you are under 18!!!

💙 I am part of the merfolk and fairyfolk/pixiefolk communities! 🧜‍♂️🧚‍♂️ (I mainly like to be a pixie however) My merperson name is still Tippy, but my pixie name is Tulip! I still use the nickname "Pixie" though, you can use any of them (Tippy/Tulip/Pixie)

💙 Please no feminine descriptors for me and my husbands, only neutral (and sometimes masculine) descriptors for us please. You can call yourself and your f/os whatever you want, just please do not call my f/os or me any feminine descriptors. (Example: do not call any of us "wife/wives", "girl" (or "girl /gender neutral." No it's not gender neutral to me, do not call me that even as a joke.), "lady", "woman", please)

💙 I also love makeup, fashion, and enjoy wearing makeup as well as drawing my self insert with makeup. If this will make you upset, you have been warned. (I also don't care if others wear makeup or not. This is a way for me specifically to express myself. Do whatever you want with your body, hair, and face. That includes putting on makeup or not putting it on. It shouldn't upset you what other people choose to do with their own bodies.)

💙 I might not answer messages if I don't know you very well because I'm pretty shy and nervous around new folks! Please don't take it personally. /Genuine- However, I'm more likely to reply to a comment or ask 🧚‍♂️✨

💙 I'm a hopeless romantic and post a lot about romance. Please do not interact if you're repulsed or upset by romance! I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable! (I also enjoy adult activities, but they are all appropriately tagged, plus I don't talk a lot about that stuff very often anyway!)

💙I answer asks almost every weekday! If this might bother you, please block the tag -> #ask tippy

💙 I also do drink sometimes, but I tag my rambles as #the tipsy tippy, and some trigger/content warnings involving drinking as well!

💙 I'm a trans nonbinary androgyne. Yes I sometimes use binary terms for myself (like husband or boyfriend), but I'm not a man or a woman 🧚‍♂️🧜‍♂️✨ (I'm still on the fence about using "trans masc" again though)

💙 I reblog a lot of stim gifs, aesthetic images, and things like that! I will even make stimboards/aesthetic boards of my OCs, self insert, and f/os!

❌ Please don't post links in comments on my posts (unless we're mutuals and you tell me what it is!) because I'll assume you're a bot and block you!

❌ Please do not send me your selfships with f/os we share (I am a non-sharer), and please do not send canonxcanon of my f/os!

Just be nice and cool, and we'll have a fun time! If something upsets me or bothers me, I'll let you know, and please do the same if something I say upsets or bothers you 💙💜

If I ever accidentally reblog something that's AI, please tell me and I'll delete it

#pinned #about page #nonbinary #minors do not interact #nonsharing selfshipper

sapphire-heart-tippy

Irradiated Heart

Chapter 5: Consistency

Previous Chapter: Symptoms of Humanity

Word count: 5,942

CWs: Alcohol mention, drunk/tipsy characters, subtle suggestive jokes, very brief mention of the word "blood", descriptions about flying through the sky, guilt and shame mention, mourning

Gently, strong fingers brush through locks of violet. Silky coils delicately swirl around those fingers, the ends faintly licking at the back of his hand.

Kars flicks his dazzling crimson eyes to the front door of the apartment, continuing to tangle his fingers through his curly strands of hair. With a deep, soft, content sigh, the pillarman glances to the unfinished painting of his on the end table. A mourning dove with its head under its wing, preening its feathers with its beak.

“There is too much space on this…” Kars mutters and taps the empty space next to the half painted and half sketched bird. The ultimate lifeform ponders as he studies the canvas… perhaps a second dove wouldn't hurt.

The pillarman picks up his artist’s pencil between his elegant fingers and begins sketching a second mourning dove, very close to the first one. The second bird has its beak buried in the neck feathers of the first bird, which makes Kars's lips slowly curve into a heartfelt smile. He can imagine how soft and plush those birds’ feathers feel, as well as imagining what the two fictional birds must be feeling, seeing as they're so clearly mates.

Kars chuckles, imagining his picture in motion: the birds quickly preening themselves then one another, then “kissing” with their beaks. It's all so precious to him. He makes a passing glance at the front door of the apartment for a brief moment. Kars continues to sketch, then begins painting his piece of art, all with a delighted smile on his face. With a dip of his paintbrush in the water cup, a dab of acrylic paint, and a dash across the canvas, Kars brings the two mourning doves to life.

The canvas is soon enlightened with a delicate and serene scene of the two birds. The pillarman’s mouth curls into a warm smile.

“Beautiful… beautiful little creatures.” Kars mutters. He taps his cheek with the back of the paint brush, then nibbles on it a bit. It's a peaceful mid-morning today. The sunlight is dancing through the curtains, the sounds of the urban life outside, and the delicate songs of birds tickle Kars's ear drums.

He finishes the painting and sets it aside to dry. Kars swings his legs over the side of the couch-bed and plants his feet on the ground. He pulls his hair over one of his shoulders and rakes his fingers through the violet curls. The ultimate lifeform slowly closes his eyes, his tender smile growing wider as he does so.

For what reason does this day feel different from any other? Kars thinks. Perhaps it is that I am getting better used to this ultimate form… I feel positively refreshed and, dare I admit… elated.

Once more, those strong fingers gingerly brush through his silky violet coils, feeling every lock of vibrant hair…

Later that day

“Kars? Are you home?” Pixie weakly calls out after opening the door to their apartment, “Ugh, I had the most grueling day…” They sigh deeply and sloppily hang their handbag and backpack on the hooks near the door.

“Oh. Good… you're back.” Kars nonchalantly turns his head to face them while lying on his side. He snaps his fingers, “That means you can get started on the dishes.”

Pixie is bewildered by Kars's blunt rudeness, feeling their last nerve almost snap. That's when they shoot their glare at the sink and realize… the dishes are gone. The kitchen has been cleaned. Come to think of it… everything in the apartment has been cleaned. Pixie is rendered speechless at this fact, looking every which way while Kars continues to lounge on the couch bed, deep in thought.

“Y-you… th-thank you.” Pixie speaks almost breathlessly, very grateful for the trouble that has been saved. Kars picks at his fingernails,

“It had to be accomplished one way or another,” He flicks his eyes at the blue haired one, speaking tenderly with a smirk, “Now then… as a reward for my efforts, fetch me a drink, would you?” He points to the cabinet lazily.

“Why, yes, your majesty, right away.” Pixie speaks sarcastically and lets out a light scoff. They roll their eyes, smiling to themself, as they open the liquor cabinet and pull out a bottle of red wine. They pop the cork and fill the glass near to the brim, as per Kars's preference. They walk over to him and dramatically kneel, handing the glass to him,

“Now is that really necessary?” Kars chuckles, daintily accepting the drink, “You have a lot of nerve… mocking me like this.”

“You have a lot of nerve treating me like this.” Pixie sits on their knees, looking up at Kars as he rests on the couch bed. They give him a playful grin, to which he returns. Kars closes his eyes as he sips the deep red liquid, savoring the sweet yet tart tang of the alcoholic beverage. He releases his lips from the rim of the glass and looks at the drink inside, sniffing it lightly,

“Hm.”

“Is something wrong with it?” Pixie asks, standing up steadily. They sit on the edge of the couch bed and look a bit concerned.

“Have a taste for yourself… tell me what you think.” Kars leans in and hands Pixie the glass. They take it hesitantly, and cautiously sip it. “How does it taste?”

“Well… personally for me? I really like it. It's sweet, I could probably overdrink if I'm not careful.” They chuckle and go in for another taste. Kars watches as Pixie continues to drink from his glass.

“I agree. A sweet wine is a pleasurable poison for some. Something so tasty can't be all that good for you,” The ultimate lifeform glances at Pixie's mouth, a bit stained red from the wine, then back into their eyes. He takes the glass back and drinks from it. A trail of wine dribbles down the right side of his mouth, dripping down his chin as he swallows the tangy crimson nectar.

He parts his mouth from the glass and wipes his lips and chin with the back of his hand,

“Forgive me… how rude I am.”

“No, dude, I understand.” Pixie laughs, “It's good!”

“Mmm… indeed,” Kars feels the effects of the alcohol take hold, but not as much as he would like. He knows that he will fully metabolize it in a few hours and it will lose its potency due to his ultimate lifeform abilities. On the bright side, this means he will recover from any semblance of a hangover. He licks his lips while handing the glass back to Pixie, “Why not bring the rest of the bottle here? Or better yet… another?”

“Alright, fella, but don't think I won't cut you off after 10 pm!” Pixie turns their nose up as they sip from the glass.

Half an hour later

The two unlikely roommates have been bonding over several alcoholic drinks this delightful summer evening. Pixie laughs and cracks many jokes while Kars listens to them. He finds himself more relaxed and very much at peace in this setting. Kars softly rakes his fingers through his vibrant violet curls as Pixie stumbles over their words a bit from intoxication.

Through hazy crimson vision, Kars keeps his eyes on Pixie as they flop on their side still rambling about nothing in particular. He chuckles and exhales through his nose,

“My oh my… You have quite a bit to say all the time, do you not?” Kars lies next to them, resting his chin on his forearms. Pixie's eyes cross for a moment then they blink a few times,

“Just a… little bit. I talk a lot- a lot sometimes when I'm… uh… like this.” They cover their mouth and hiccup, “Okay, I'm actu-ally decid-ing to… cut myself off! Hahaha…”

Kars just watches them with curiosity. Pixie furrows their brows,

“What? Am I too w-weird for ya or some-thing?”

Kars laughs,

“Nothing can be so abnormal that it would faze me, Pixie.” He leans up a bit and rests his cheek on his palm, his elbow on the bed, “Why on earth is your name Pixie anyhow? What a bizarre indicator.”

“You-!! You just-just said that no-thing is ‘too abnormal’ for you, but my nickname is the luh-last straw?!” Pixie laughs.

“Silly little fool…” Kars smirks.

“Well, what kind of dumbass name is ‘Kars’? Hm? What, is your cousin's name ‘Boats’? ‘Planes’?” Pixie cackles.

“Humorous.” Kars rolls his eyes, enjoying this banter, “Nickname, you said? So this implies that ‘Pixie’ is not your birth name but simply a name you answer to, am I getting this right?”

“Yooouuu betcha.” Pixie leans up, sitting crisscrossed and wobbling a little, “My name's Gratuity… but one of my nicknames is ‘Pixie’.”

“Gratuity…” Kars lies on his back, hanging his head over backwards off of the edge of the bed, letting the blood rush to his head, “Odd yet striking.”

Pixie crawls over to him,

“Hey… you're grett- getting all of your hairs all over the floors. You're- it's gonna get all dirty.” They point at Kars's hair.

He gently wraps his hand around their wrist and leans his head back up so he can look them in the eyes,

“I'll live,” He feels how small their wrist is in his fist, “I've had worse in my hair than dirt.”

Pixie blushes and their eyes widen. It's a small silence before Kars gives them a perturbed look,

“Such as blood.”

Pixie lets out a little giggle, turning away. Kars lets go of their wrist and gives them a small pout before resting his back against the cushions of the couch,

“Silly creature…”

“You know something, Kars?” Pixie sighs, trying to keep their eyes focused. They lazily point at the pillarman, “Has any-one ever toooold you that you are… literally the most beautiful person on earth?” Kars swirls his wine glass idly, replying neutrally,

“Many humans certainly have, yes.” He takes a sip, flicking his bloody irises down to the delirious human, “Mmh… in fact… in all of my hundred-thousand years of life, nothing but humans have praised my appearance.” Kars looks down at the wine in his glass, barely seeing his reflection, “I suppose being considered conventionally attractive by your kind has proven successful in giving me an advantage in situations.”

Pixie hesitates, unsure of what to say next. They fidget with their fingers and begin to speak,

“Well, uh… At least you’re self aware of it! So, that’s… good.” They rub their neck feeling awkward.

“Don’t worry, I fully accept the compliment, little one. I was only answering your, in hindsight what I now realize, rhetorical question.” The pillarman sets his glass down.

Pixie’s heart races, beginning to forget almost instantly what precisely they said to him. Kars notices this and continues to calmly reassure them,

“I take no offense to you finding me attractive, Pixie. It doesn’t sway me one way or another.” He pulls some hair over his shoulder, combing his fingers through the curls, “It is something natural after all… attraction.”

The two of them gaze at each other for what feels like hours. Kars begins braiding his own hair, simply enjoying the company, the gravity, the coziness of the apartment, and of course his alcohol buzz.

“Kars…?” Pixie speaks meekly.

“Mmmh?” Kars nods, “Is something the matter?”

“I…” Their eyes glisten in the soft glow of the orange kitchen light. The sun has set, and night has now fallen. Kars patiently waits for his unlikely roommate to find their voice, “I’m sorry.”

“What do you apologize for?” Kars continues tangling his fingers through his hair.

“I-I just… I don’t wa-ant you to feel like… you have to st-ay here,” Pixie begins, looking down at their lap with shame, “I was keeping Sapphire Heart here because I was lo-onely… y-you were right.”

Kars narrows his eyes and tilts his head a bit, just listening.

“I-I completely understand if you want to… leave too.” Pixie’s intoxication has made it difficult for them to keep their emotions in check. Kars, unlike many other beings, does not find crying or expressing emotions in general something shameful nor weak. Even though he can get irritated at the sound of it, he understands that it is simply something natural that shouldn’t be suppressed. Pixie covers their face with both palms of their hands, trembling and trying to stop themself from shedding tears, “I d-don’t want you to feel like you have to stay here with me. I kno-ow how you said you didn’t want to.” Pixie begins to sob. Kars slowly stops combing through his hair, placing it all behind his back,

“Of all the ignorant things you could have said, this has to be the worst of them all.” Kars closes his eyes and sighs, “You seem to forget, rather consistently, that I am the ultimate being.” He touches his chest, “I have phenomenal godlike power. I cannot be killed. I am immortal. I am infallible. I have the ability to create life from my very cells. I could slaughter thousands of humans with one strike of my brilliant bone blades…” He leans in with narrowed eyes, “And you have the audacity to believe that you somehow possess the ability to trap me here against my will?”

Pixie looks up at Kars, wiping their eyes with their hands and wrists. With a sniffle, they glance their glimmering, innocent, chocolate brown eyes up at him. Kars rests one of his hands next to their leg and the other, pointing a stern finger at them,

“Do you not think, that for one moment, if I did not desire to be here… that I would have left already?” He leans in a little closer, Pixie can see every detail in his ruby red eyes. They have a dark maroon ring around them, his irises are so gorgeously scarlet, they look like pools of galactic blood. Pixie is so hypnotized that they feel like they just might fall into those pools… Kars delicately wipes away their tears with his thumbs, letting his touch linger on their cheeks for just a moment too long. The pillarman’s lips part as he moves his face in instinctively, feeling his humanity take control for a brief moment… Barely his lips fall upon theirs, before quickly pulling away.

Odd… quite odd indeed. We will not discuss what had just occurred. Perhaps Pixie did not notice. It is wise for neither of us to continue our indulgences tonight. Kars glances to the side at Pixie for a brief moment, analyzing their expression. They noticed.

They have their hand lightly covering their mouth with their cheeks faintly flushed. It is clear between the two beings that this “would have been” moment shall not be spoken about again.

Kars and Pixie decide to put on a movie for a bit. Pixie adores animated pictures and heavily prefers them, so Kars indulges them. It isn't long until Pixie is passed out next to Kars from intoxication, meanwhile he is quickly sobering up.

Kars rests while the movie continues to play, and his odd roommate is curled up lazily next to him fast asleep. With a deep, content inhale through his nose, he begins cleaning up the glasses and empty bottles from the night of overindulging on alcohol.

The sink runs, rinsing the glasses of wine, the bottles clink delicately in the trash can, and Kars feels his lips curve upward. Suddenly, that's when he realizes something important.

“Stupid creature…” He mutters.

Pixie is gently awoken by Kars's back of the hand tapping the side of their face. They snort awake, eyes crossed and in a daze. Lips pressed against a tall, cold, refreshing glass of water, they are hydrated by hand. Who's hand? The ultimate lifeform’s.

He feeds them the life giving beverage as if saving a dehydrated animal he found in the desert. Pixie accepts the drink and wordlessly allows the violet haired man to feed it to them. They turn their head away once they have had enough and Kars sets the glass aside, watching them closely, never taking his eyes from them.

Pixie rubs their head and winces, no doubt already regretting the decision to attempt to outdrink Kars. He sits them up and places the sequel to the movie in the DVD player, perhaps to distract them a bit, then joins them back on the couch bed.

The next morning

Powerful hand delicately gripping the curtain, Kars views the life outside. Although he cares not for humans, he still adores the light and heat from the sun. He chooses to ignore the human made structures and vehicles in favor of admiring the flora and fauna that have reclaimed certain elements of the area.

Rustle, creak…

Kars turns around to see Pixie, shirtless and mildly hungover from the previous night, sitting up. Their blue hair is messy and wild, their eyeliner is smudged, and they look like a mess. Kars suddenly feels the rays of the sun spread across his cheeks as he views the bare pectorals of this little mortal.

Suddenly quite hot in here… perhaps I should close the curtain. Kars thinks to himself. He shuts the curtain behind him, watching as Pixie puts their face in their hands,

“I'm so stupid…”

“In what way?” Kars leans his back against a wall.

“Drinking too much, saying stupid shit last night, ugh… I told you way too much about myself,” They turn away in shame, “I'm so embarrassed… I hardly even remember what I said, but I know it wasn't good.”

“It did not seem so shameful to me. I have heard worse, mind you.” Kars crosses his arms and closes his eyes.

“I miss Sapphire…” Pixie mumbles. Kars's brows furrow at this, but he breathes a delicate sigh,

“The genie is out there… somewhere… no doubt enjoying himself. I assure you, he most likely misses you too.”

Kars turns his gaze back to the curtains, which catches Pixie’s attention. They stagger a bit but stand up and head towards the pillarman,

“Hey…” They rub the back of their neck, “Do you want to go somewhere today? It feels like you’ve been holed up in this apartment for days. You must be stir-crazy by now, huh?”

“I consider myself rather introverted. I have not the desire for human contact.” Kars doesn’t look at Pixie, just admiring the sun’s light spilling through.

“Awww, c’mon, Mr Rockstar,” Pixie chuckles and stands next to Kars, “We got you so many different outfits, what’s the point in not showing them off?”

Kars feels his heart rate spike, trying to avert his eyes from the bare chested fellow next to him,

“Very well then. You’ve sobered up quickly. Or else you are still quite inebriated from last night’s escapade?” He turns his head to look at Pixie, lips in a biting smirk. They return his expression and places their hands on their hips,

“I can’t really tell, I suffer from chronic vertigo.” They throw their hands in the air and head to their bedroom, “Alright! Let’s get dressed and go places!”

“You suffer from chronic lunacy more like it…” Kars shakes his head and chuckles.

Later on

The two abnormal beings strut down the sunny sidewalk in the peak of the afternoon. Pixie is wearing a choker with little chains and heart charms, a blue halter crop top, torn black jean shorts with a blue gradient belt, their beloved blue and purple striped thigh high socks, and some hefty ankle high boots with pink and purple hearts and glitter laces. They adjust their blue heart shaped sunglasses as they saunter next to Kars, who is wearing a tight black t-shirt with a rhinestone red rose on the front, black spiked bracelets, dark eyeliner with winged tips and deep purple eyeshadow, black cargo pants with a chain belt, and strong black combat boots with spikes on the toe-tips. His hair is done up in a french braid with his bangs and curly sideburns messily left alone.

They stop at a cafe, where Pixie pulls down their sunglasses,

“Well, well! Here we are!” They gesture with their palm, “This place is the best place in town to grab a cup of iced coffee and a chocolate croissant while watchin’ the world go by!”

Kars glances to the side, noticing a group of humans gazing at him in awe,

“Does it come with more gawking onlookers?” He points his thumb lazily at the crowd, while giving a rather bored expression.

“Maybe!” Pixie holds Kars’s forearm, “C’mon!”

They both head inside and order some sweets and drinks. Kars rests his cheek on the palm of his hand as he sips his iced coffee. Pixie bats their eyelashes and clasps their hands together,

“What do you think?”

“Like most foods humans create… unnecessarily sweet. Similar to that ‘creamed ice’ as you call it.” Kars’s left ear twitches and he tunes in to what some humans to the table next to him are saying,

“See that hot guy with the purple hair right over there?” One woman speaks to her friend, “How sweet… Looks like he’s on a date with his boyfriend or something.”

So that is what it looks like, does it? I am romantically involved with this creature? Normally I would be insulted by such an abhorrent insinuation, however, I care not for the opinions of lesser lifeforms such as humans.

“Well then, mister magic man, why not go up there and order yourself a black coffee and make a big deal about it?” Pixie laughs. Kars takes the chocolate croissant he ordered and gently stuffs it into their mouth,

“Silence,” He gives a teasing grin, “Eat your sugar, you ravenous little honeybee.”

Kars hears the women giggling next to them, which irritates him a bit but he ignores them. He sips his iced coffee, enjoying the sinful sweetness of human creation yet again. Pixie sips their salted caramel iced mocha then looks at the straw, covered in their glitter gloss. They smirk,

“Hey… would you like to try mine?”

“Alright, give it here-” Kars is interrupted by Pixie pressing the straw to his lips. He takes a few sips and lets them pull the cup away. He wipes his mouth, “Bold move, insect.” Pixie giggles, only for Kars to press his straw into their mouth, their eyes wide as they begin drinking his iced coffee. Kars’s lips are formed into a light smirk, his lashes lowered as he enjoys turning the tables on this audacious little creature.

They hold eye contact while they drink from Kars’s straw. He leans in, voice lowered and sultry,

“How does it taste… hm? Does it taste good?”

Pixie’s cheeks flush as they part their mouth from the straw. They start coughing a little bit, clearing their throat and swallowing the last bit of coffee.

“Why… you’re positively flushed. Perhaps the caffeine is a bit too much for you, hm?” Kars rests his palm on the table, ready to stand up, “Shall we take our leave to a less crowded establishment? Or perhaps no establishment at all?”

“Y-yeah, sure. If you’re ready to go, then so am I.” Pixie grins nervously. Kars stands up and stuffs the leftover croissant, in its paper bag, into his pocket, then holds his drink. He stretches out his other hand for Pixie to take, helping them up. The entire time, their cheeks are reddened.

They head back outside, Kars holding Pixie’s hand and taking them along.

“Kars? Where are we going?” They ask him, slightly concerned.

“No place in particular,” He gulps down his coffee then tosses it behind him, landing in one of the trash bins on the sidewalk with supernatural precision. Pixie is in wide-eyed wonder at how well he pulled that off,

“Kars, wait!” Pixie gulps down their mocha as much as they can, then hands it to him, wincing from the brain freeze. Kars takes the cup and tosses it behind him in the same manner. The humans are just as in awe as Pixie! Kars continues to take Pixie’s hand until they get to a crosswalk. He kneels down, back turned to the human,

“Get on.”

“W-wait, uh-”

“We move, now!” Kars turns his head to them with that all too familiar grin and gleaming crimson eyes. Pixie obeys him and climbs onto his back. Kars sprouts feathers from his arms, turning them into large wings. The humans below them gasp and scream at the sudden gust of wind and the sight of a flying bird-man! Pixie screams and clings tightly to Kars as he chuckles to himself.

Kars tumbles and twirls around, flying higher and higher through the sky. He can’t help it, he cackles out loud with glee, feeling so alive, just drowning in the pleasure of freedom! Kars flaps his wings and rises even higher until he finally dips down sharply, causing Pixie to laugh and scream like they’re on a roller coaster.

“WOOOOHOO!” Pixie yells, gripping onto Kars’s back as he dives swiftly and begins gliding across the sky like a large, regal bird of prey. Kars beams, adoring the world beneath him, every single piece of it… at his fingertips… all for the taking. Soon it will all be his…

Peck.

Kars’s world pauses for a brief moment. What was this? What was that? He continues to glide in silence, processing the sensation he had just felt. Was it an illusion? A hallucination of sorts from too much caffeine? No… this was no figment of his imagination. The being riding on his back had just pressed their lips against his cheek in adoration. The ultimate lifeform finds himself deep in thought, high from power, and quite literally high in the air. The adrenaline rushes through his body, some from the feeling of being godly, and some from the oxytocin of being adored by someone.

Kars looks back at Pixie, whom of which shyly turns away from him. The pillarman flaps his wings a bit,

“Hold on tightly.” They obey him as Kars flaps his wings and dives down, finding a spot for the two of them to be alone together. He lands gracefully near a wooded area by a lake, kneeling down and allowing Pixie to dismount his back.

“Kars, I want to say- I want to say…” Their brows crinkle together from guilt as they look up at him with utmost apology, “I am so sorry for that. I don’t know what came over me, I just felt-”

Kars covers their mouth with his fingers,

“Enough.” He looks to the sky, trying to find the sun that he so dearly loves, just for a moment… as if asking the celestial being for clarity. He looks back down at them, “You harbor too much shame. Your heart is filled with unnecessary guilt and self-punishment. Which in itself is a shameful trait to have… Stop this. Be one with yourself.”

He takes his fingers away from their lips. The two vastly different beings silently stare at one another for a while… Pixie’s expression relaxes finally, but still their brows are crinkled just a bit. They mutter just enough for Kars to hear,

“Somehow you know me better than I know myself.”

“When you have been alive for as long as I have, you begin to learn quite a few things about life and how to live it.” Kars responds. He sits down on the grass, criss-cross, and pats the space next to him. Pixie sits next to him, on their knees.

The two of them sit and bask in nature for a while… Pixie feels the warmth of the summer sun, smells the comforting fragrance of foliage, and witnesses the beauty of the nature surrounding them. Kars softly inhales through his nose and exhales through his mouth,

“I've missed this.”

“Missed being outside?” Pixie turns their head to him.

“Missed… earth.” Kars continues to view the scenery in front of him. With a few adjustments, Kars shifts his position to where his right knee is up and left leg is stretched out. He rests his hands on the grass, feeling the texture of the thick greenery beneath his palms and between his fingers, “This planet is precious to me. I wouldn't give it up for anything…” he looks to his lower right, “I had already lost it once… but that was due to my own carelessness.”

“What happened exactly? Why were you in space? How did you even get there?” Pixie sits criss-cross.

Kars doesn't answer at first. Suddenly the wind blows delicately, swirling bits of Kars's hair around his face. The pillarman closes his eyes, brows furrowing as if he's listening to the whispers of the earth… and what it's saying is troubling him.

“Perhaps that's a story for another day.” Kars opens his eyes, his lids lowered as his expression remains solemn, “For now, I much prefer to simply enjoy every second I can spend embracing this planet’s nature and the sun's warmth…” His voice is soft as silk, “Even though I don't deserve it…”

The two of them share this peaceful moment together, no other people around, no human-made structures, just their presences and the nature surrounding them. Pixie sighs and smiles with pure contentment. They are more than happy to share wordless exchanges of affection or even just time well spent with someone they care about.

Kars relaxes even further and lays his back in the grass, arms cushioning the back of his head as he looks up at the tree canopy. The sun's rays peek through the gently dancing leaves fluttering in the wind. His mind wanders, remembering that he could have spent these days with his late husband, had it not been for the tragedy that befallen him.

Esidisi's untimely demise had caused Kars's mind to decay horrendously, even though externally he seemed relatively unbothered until he had become the ultimate lifeform. After the death of his son, Wamuu, things got even worse for his mental state. Once he got the power he sought after, it was glaringly clear that Kars was in mourning and desperate to avenge his family.

Kars lies on his side, irritated at his thoughts for polluting his mind during this beautiful summer day.

“Are you alright?” Pixie asks with concern.

“Fine. I am simply admiring… the earth.” Kars gently pets the grass in an attempt to soothe himself. It was my fault… Why is it striking through my heart so suddenly? I lost them. I lost myself. I can never go back… I can never be whole again.

While Kars lies in the grass, Pixie decides to explore. They observe everything around them, meanwhile the pillarman on the ground barely even moves. It has been well over an hour and a half, and Kars is still in the same position.

“Okay, I'm starting to get worried. Are you sure you're alright?” Pixie kneels in front of Kars as he's lying on his side, “You've got bugs in your hair.”

Kars continues to fidget with the grass and flicks his crimson eyes up to Pixie. He doesn't speak, just sits up and brushes his fingers through his hair, gently combing out the arthropods that were trying to make it their home. His emotions are a raging whirlwind inside of him, ready to explode any moment… and yet he remains stoic.

Pixie remains silent, but their actions speak volumes. They very gently help Kars pick out the little bugs from his hair, making sure none of them are harmed. He appreciates this, allowing Pixie to touch his hair, something he deems very sacred.

They fix his hair a bit, twirling the two loose strands of sideburns causing the curls to bounce,

“There we go, good as new.” They smile. Kars looks down at them, seeing how unafraid they are of him. Pixie tests the waters. Before they retract their hand, they continue to fix his hair and delicately touch his cheek and jawline with their fingers.

Kars watches this, he knows exactly what they're doing and what it means. He looks deeply into their eyes, his intimidating scarlet irises burrowing into their soul,

“I know what you're doing…”

Pixie feels their heart skip a beat and their cheeks flush,

“D-doing what?”

Kars sits criss-cross, presses his elbow against his thigh, and rests his cheek against his palm,

“I cannot help but feel this is all my doing.” He sighs though his nose, speaking calmly although his words seem a tad sharp, “Once again I find myself reminding you of who and what I truly am. And yet… you always deliberately attempt to bypass those facts in order to sate your own emotions,” He mutters and glances away, “and quite possibly quell some sort of ache you must be feeling.”

The human before him feels shame wash over them like a waterfall.

“Hm? Am I correct?” Kars flicks his crimson gaze back to them, then stops resting his cheek on his palm, “You are without words, I see. My oh my… Did you think I could not for one moment think that I wouldn't notice the way you treat me?”

The pillarman narrows his eyes, his voice is still relaxed and poised,

“I cannot fathom why on earth you would choose to bring someone like me into your home, into your life…” He turns his head to gaze upon the lake, “into your bed…”

“I-it's not like that!” Pixie whimpers out, “I'm sorry! I knew I was being too bold. I just-... I don't know what I was thinking.” They fidget with their hands, “I guess I just… really like you. I enjoy your company. I love talking to you, Kars. I love going on little adventures with you,” They gulp, “I just love…” Their voice trails off.

It's a painfully awkward silence. Kars adjusts his seating position, facing the lake. Pixie feels awful for the way they made Kars feel.

“Do not be ashamed… Forgive me.” Kars speaks softly, “I very much appreciate our companionship.” He turns to look at them, “I dearly… appreciate it.” Pixie nods with acceptance.

Kars nods back. He continues to gaze upon the lake and speaks firmly yet gently,

“Tell me…” Kars pauses for a few moments before speaking in a quiet, intimate tone, just for the two of them to hear, “...Do you love me? Or do you just love the idea of having me?”

Pixie, eyes full of glimmering innocence and pure earnestness replies,

“You.”

Kars's expression doesn't change. Instead, he leans back and rests his hands in the grass. The pillarman turns his head away from them completely, his face obscured by loose locks of violet curls that have been freed from his braid.

A stupid decision… Kars thinks to himself but the thought holds no bitterness or anger. This is my fault. I indulged them with their antics and now I must suffer the consequences. The ultimate lifeform closes his eyes and continues thinking, Last night's close call was one of the most stupid impulses I have ever had.

“Maybe we should just go home…” Pixie hangs their head, closing their eyes. Kars turns his head to look at them, his voice as gentle as usual,

“We don't have to.” His lips curve into a smile, “I enjoy our time spent together…” He looks on to the lake, “So let's enjoy this moment.”

This creature is always under the impression that I, or anyone else, is constantly on a hair trigger temper. It is quite irritating, but regardless, I still value this companionship we have built.

To be continued…

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