"Aftertaste" or Junna and Nana after Revue of Hunting for 1663 words
uhhhhh, I think they are neat, I hope you enjoy reading this
The night sky was dark. What should have been a view twinkling with stars was only dotted with two dim spots.
It didn’t feel cold, nor warm. There was simply a lack of presence as the night air seemed to fade away. Junna sat looking up into the night at a blurry sky. She had set aside her glasses, the world was an afterthought, one she didn’t have space for right now. But as much as she tried she couldn’t avoid noticing the dim far-off light coming from the kitchen window.
She wasn’t trying to ignore the light, but she was drawn towards it despite herself. Why did it still seem so warm? It was frustrating. She could swear she even smelt a familiar scent.
At both the behest and yearning of her heart Junna walked towards the kitchen. However she froze when she got to the handle. Unable to bring herself to open the door she tensed, and waited. She was scared.
Inside she could hear a faint tune being sung by a familiar voice. A voice that would falter once her own presence was felt. Junna immediately knew the song. It was a piece that she had struggled with a lot during her first year at Seisho. One that Nana had helped her practice.
In exchange Junna had helped Nana with a paper of her own, yes, that was still when they did things in exchange. So much had happened since then, they had grown so much closer, and yet here Junna still was, hiding in fear of the fleeting nature of Nana’s song. A wall, transparent though it may be, between them. Junna was reasonable, she understood well the nature of things, and she understood what she needed to do to make her own dreams a part of that reality. But she still froze. Nana’s song had enraptured her, she couldn’t bear to break it.
The kitchen was dim, but Nana didn’t try to turn on any more lights. She had spent enough time here that she knew it like the back of her hand. Besides, she didn’t want to see it. Her mind was filled with a shining light she didn’t want to forget.
Her mind completely absorbed, her body moved automatically through the familiar motions. Mixing the flour, cutting the bananas, preheating the oven… tonight it was background noise. As her thoughts became too much for her they began to overflow, what came out was a nostalgic song. When Nana was still new at Seisho, overwhelmed and unsure, she had been constantly hesitant. But one day Junna had asked her for help with a song. Nana was scared, yet she was thrilled to be able to help, and incredibly happy to be able to grow closer. Although she helped Junna that day the song was always brittle. Even to this day, that song was brittle, only barely able to stay alive thanks to some miracle.
Nana was afraid she would mess it all up. That she would fail, and be all alone again.
But Junna didn’t turn away. Even from her naive song. Junna simply smiled and promised that next time she would sing it perfectly. Afterwards Junna had offered to help Nana with a paper. Nana had been so happy, she desperately wanted to do something to convey her gratitude, that was when she had made her first Banana Muffins. Ah, so that was why she was cooking them now… That someone like her had found someone like Junna was wonderful. But of course, it was ethereal.
Today the two of them had shattered those fragile notes of the song that wove them together. No. Nana had done that herself. Afraid as she was, it was her fault.
It wasn’t an audition. It was a battle. Nothing was wagered, nothing was stolen, but too much was lost.
Nana knew that this day would come. The one thing she never changed in her many loops. She would never face Junna. She knew when that happened it would all be over. She turned back the hands of time. Smashing clock after clock as she needed. To avoid this inevitability she knew would come.
But now Nana had to face the future. And so she had to face the false reality she had created. She had to face the person she knew she held back.
Junna knew Nana’s vulnerability. She saw her loneliness. Like an all too clear reflection. And she knew exactly how Nana felt. She knew what Nana feared. She knew exactly what would one day happen. Yet she couldn’t bear to shatter their bond. She never once opened the door. It was too important. Even still-
Nana knew how Junna felt, she knew - just as well as Junna did - the loneliness that tied them together. But she couldn’t bear to cut Junna loose. She was too important. But the future would never wait. And the time of parting was here.
No matter what it had to end.
It had all come to an end. Hearts wrapped in transparent silk finally laid bare. A point of no return and an unstoppable march towards the future. These days at Seisho between the two of them, would never be the same.
Junna steeled herself. The many nights just like this where she stood by and watched from a distance began to become the past. As she finally opened the door.
Nana looked up, but there was no surprise in her face, only faded marks of tears. Sitting untouched on the table were two fresh muffins.
Junna faced Nana, and in a gentle, yet deliberate tone spoke, “I knew your lines before you ever said them”.
Nana hesitated, then responded, her voice breaking, “I knew I had the perfect partner”.
“Could you see it? The kind of star that I am?”
“You were brilliant, I-” Nana faltered, “I couldn’t look away”.
“The song that you were singing just now. It’s a happy memory” Junna’s tone briefly cracked when she said “memory”.
“It’s a wonder that my shoddy song from years ago still gets sung…”
“Well I still like it. And the two of us keep it alive. Isn’t that all we need?”
Nana averted her gaze for a moment, before looking back up, the star that had been so blinding, was still Junna. Nana walked over to the table and retrieved the muffins. “The future is here now isn’t it. But here we still are.”
Junna’s tone was tender, “Time never truly stands still. Neither do we.”
“Mine!” Junna declared with a slight chuckle as she took a muffin from Nana.
“Careful they are hot!” Nana warned. But Junna grinned and took a bite.
The two hearts had overlapped. Their disjoint rhythm once more found harmony, even as they were now, reborn, and exposed.
It was a moment of happiness. In the shadow of all that had happened that day, although things had changed, they were not forever out of reach.
Still, insecurities lingered, and doubt weighed heavy. They were exposed.
The late hours of the night passed in a mix of relief and unease between the two in the kitchen until they finally returned to bed.
The familiarity of the room, and their closeness was a blade hanging over them. Simply remaining complacent after everything would be a mistake. Junna and Nana knew this, but decisively cutting through the fear of vulnerability was not so easily done.
Neither moved, but they knew the other was awake, and so Nana quietly asked, “How did you manage to keep going… after losing?”.
All was quiet for a few moments as Junna thought. Eventually she responded, “Well at first I got angry. But mostly I felt empty and lost. I think I needed to lose. Because I lost I could improve as long as I stood back up. At least that’s what I tell myself.”
“But you had a dream... I won, over and over again, but I was never improving, just afraid. Even now, I have to face the future, and I’m lost just the same as ever. That’s why. That’s why I needed to end it. I thought I could save both of us from-”
Junna cut Nana off, “I will become a star. No one can stop that”
Junna turned to look at Nana. She was laying perfectly still, her usual carefree sleeping seemed absurd in comparison. Junna paused before speaking in a determined tone, “You won’t be able to get rid of me that easily. I am going to continue studying, learning, so that my dream will become reality. Whether or not I am unsure. If you don’t have a dream, or don’t know how to move forward, then… then…” Junna’s voice lowered, but she made sure every word would be heard, “I’ll be your guiding star.” Her cheeks were hot from embarrassment.
There was a long silence. Only broken by the sound of muffled tears. For the two of them, always afraid. Afraid of failing, afraid of being alone, afraid of opening themselves up to others. The path forward seemed like an impossible dream. A blissful dream, but unachievable for either of them. Could the tragedy of their parting really be avoided?
But they had taken it. The first step forward. Confronting themselves. But it wasn’t over. It was simply changing form.
Nana got up, she crossed the room slowly towards Junna, but at the same time Junna met her in the middle. Nana thought for a moment. She smiled, it was forced, yet honest and said, “Then I promise, no matter what happens, the two of us will always be with each other as long as we pursue our dreams.”
Junna hugged Nana, and while smiling replied, “I promise”
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