Idgaf
*vomits from anxiety*
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roma★
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

if i look back, i am lost

⁂

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@macrodermaa
Idgaf
*vomits from anxiety*
I genuinely think that I have been chemically lobotomised from years of heavy antipsychotic medication being prescribed to me. I can’t feel anything on the level everyone else seems to. I’m so hollow and empty all the time, I have fleeting emotions but no real connection to them.
I love knowing my trauma made me into a broken husk of what I once was. I never even had a chance to excel because it started when I was too young to know myself
Being down bad is great until it makes you want to kill yourself any time you get a text and it’s not them
i hope you’re doing well
i am! thanks 🙏 life is good. most days i’m doing well, i do have my down days but of course so does everyone. i don’t know how i could complain when im surrounded by people who love me and im living the dream
caleb phone case ft marius cameo im so pleased with it
i got the sus gege card >:3
give me vampire sylus infold Give him to me
guess what
All must glub
me when i fucking get u
komano manato is so husband coded
I CANT I CANT I CANT
i’ve been getting back into love and deepspace and i missed my pookie
obsessed with this snowmiku kuromi collab
im going crazy
you cannot tell me that almost 300 people voted on my poll and the winning fic ended up having 1 note (which was my irl husband)
Authors Notes; well it’s 2am and I’m writing porn. I can’t help myself. As long as even one person enjoys it then I want to keep writing.
Synopsis; You are a powerful hunter who grew up as an Alpha. Nobody ever tells you what you can or can’t do, nobody has ever been worthy of your submission or attention. Sylus is a strong and powerful alpha, but his weakness is you. He’s desperate for you, and you use it to your advantage.
Tags; A/B/O, Two alphas, Loss of Virginity (not your virginity, his), Animalistic Sex, Sylus is pussydrunk, a tiny bit of scent kink, MC is a little bit of a bully, Alpha x Alpha, Sylus gets off on being humiliated, it turned out to kinda be femdom??
God he drives you wild. Though he always has. Sylus crashed into your life almost literally. He’s always been commanding and doting, almost enough to make you sick. Such weaknesses should be reserved for Omegas and Betas, not a strong and powerful Alpha like him. Maybe it’s the way you disapprove of his lifestyle, but since meeting you, Sylus hasn’t been able to leave you alone.
He treats you like an Omega, pulling you in by your hips from behind and pressing his nose against your neck, inhaling your intoxicating scent and growling under his breath like he can smell sin on you. You always bat him away and tell him off, you’re not some omega he can take whenever he feels like it, you stand beside him as an equal.
That just makes him want you more.
Sylus hates taking no for an answer, but he reluctantly respects your wishes, slowly but surely he learns. He learns that you’re in control here. After all, you’re the one who has what he wants, and he’s getting antsy waiting for the signal that he can take it. He’s used to getting his way, so the way you make him wait makes him go mad. He teases you, dancing for you on your fingertips as he begs for your approval not through his words but through his actions.
You’re almost tempted to keep him like this. Desperate and frustrated is a good look on Sylus, and you revel in seeing the composed leader of Onychinus like this. You want to pick him apart, thread by thread. He’s losing this battle of wits, and you both know it. It’s when you come home after a long day and the scent of rut hits your nose that you know the game is afoot.
At first you can’t really find him, you check his room, the study, you check the gym and the pool. It had totally slipped your mind to search your own bedroom. Of course that’s where you find him, curled up on your bed with one of your bras pressed against his face as he inhales your scent. His other hand palms himself through his boxers and fuck if that’s not a fine view. You tut at him and it’s only once he hears the noise that his head shoots up to look at you.
It’s almost cute how he flushes. Or it would be if it wasn’t so pathetic.
“Aha, sweetheart, you’re home early huh?” His voice is shaky, like you didn’t just catch him in the middle of desperation. Your eyes are dark and hungry as you approach him, and you exert your alpha voice to keep his attention “Sylus what the fuck are you doing?”
He stammers “I was.. well, you see it’s, I just—“ He stops when you hold a hand up, and that’s when you know that you have him hook line and sinker. “On your knees.” You click your fingers as you point to the space in front of the bed, and he instinctively sinks into position.
You’re drunk on the power. Onychinus's leader is at your feet, begging for just a taste of your sweet cunt. You reach under your pleather skirt and slide your panties off, down your thighs and to the floor. Sylus watches like he’s hypnotised, mouth slightly agape. Fuck this is really happening. “Sweetheart I—“ He pauses as you kick them away. He’s anxious, and it makes you pause. You’re cruel, but not to the point where you want to genuinely make him uncomfortable. “Speak.” Your voice is firm but soft, urging him to finish. “I haven’t actually, uh… been… with anyone before.”
Your heart does a flip.
He looks a bit like a kicked puppy, embarrassed and flustered. You feel like you just won the lottery. A smile plays on your face as you perch yourself in front of him, legs spread in his face, sweet pussy absolutely dripping honey and heat. “s’ okay bossman. I’ll take good care of you.” Your hand gently pets his fluffy white hair. He looks relieved, but then he looks distracted, and you hum. You guide him forward with the hand in his hair, using your other hand to rest back comfortably. “Eat.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. Sylus has been desperate for you for months, and he’s willing to let his control slip for this. Even though you tease and bully him, this is the ultimate form of trust. Finally letting go of that tight controlling hold he has on everything in his life, and allowing you to take over.
His tongue slowly lathes against your clit, rolling and flicking against the puffy organ. It feels like heaven, and you know he feels the same way when he groans at the taste. His hand comes to his own clothed cock, and the movement doesn’t go unnoticed. You’re in two minds about letting him touch himself without permission, but decide to go easy on him for his first time.
It’s not long before you’re writhing and bucking your hips against his face. You use your hand to keep his face buried in your heat, as you chase your own climax. It’s intoxicating, and even though he’s a little out of practice, he’s desperate to please and his enthusiasm makes it worth while.
He’s great, but you find yourself wanting more, and by the time you pull his head away you can tell he feels the same. His eyes are half lidded, your pussy juice stains his face from his nose down to his chin, and he looks like he’s in total bliss. “You’re doing so good, Sylus.” You praise, and you hear his heart pick up at the praise. “Cmere.” You scoot back up so you’re lying on your back, and Sylus follows, hungry and desperate.
He’s shed the boxers somehow without you noticing, but his foresight only pleases you. He seems almost hesitant to touch you, and that’s how you know you’ve taught him well. You coo at him, cupping his cheek as he hovers over you. “It’s okay Sylus, You can’t break me, You can let go now.”
It’s like the dam breaks. Within seconds he has you flipped over, his own body arched over yours, his hands wander over you, and you inhale shakily at the sensation. It feels like burning, and you’re desperate to feel more. Sylus’ breath is so hot and heavy that it leaves you feeling overwhelmed.
There’s almost no warning, but you feel him slip into your cunt like he’s coming home. And he fucking moans. You inhale and brace yourself, and fuck it’s a good thing you do because within seconds he’s snapping his hips into you and setting a punishing pace.
He’s relentless, the way he snaps into you and growls in your ear, an incoherent string of words about how you’re finally his, how he’s wanted this for so long, how perfect and beautiful you are. Sylus is a dedicated lover. The drag of his perfect cock against the walls of your pussy is heaven, and at this angle he’s pressing into all the right spots to make you go mad.
You’re whimpering and shuddering, gripping the sheets under you hard enough that your nails put holes in them. Sylus’ growls and grunts above you are comforting. He drags his nails down your back, and even though the clothes between the skin and his nails cushion the feeling, it still makes you hiss and curse at him.
You’re rocking back to meet him when you feel it. His thrusts get more intense and less controlled, and you know he’s close. You want to goad him on, but every push of his hips punches out your air, and you’re not confident in your ability to form a coherent sentence.
When he cums it’s like magma inside you, thick and deep and filling every part of you. He fucking howls at the feeling, pushing you down harder like he can’t bear the thought of pulling out, even as his cock softens and you exhale through it. He didn’t last long, but it’s his first time, and you make note to work on his endurance with him later.
give me vampire sylus infold Give him to me