O my sorrow, you are better than a well-beloved
Blog dedicated to Roland from Library of Ruina. Not actually daily though sorry.
MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello! This is a blog dedicated to the character Roland from Library of Ruina. If you don't know who or what that is, go play the game please it's so awesome trust me. (if you do genuinely go play it bc of this post GET OUTTA HERE this blog has MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!)
This blog is all ages-- It will not contain NSFW content. I might interact with NSFW blogs by happenstance because I'm not going to, like, vet every person that ever interacts, but that's about the extent to which you'll ever see that from me.
Who are you?
Call me whatever you want, any pronouns you feel like, and I'm an adult. This is a sideblog and I'd prefer relative anonymity, so if you know who I actually am, please keep it a secret to Tumblr 😉
If you want my credentials, I'm many a Discord server's resident Roland Guy. I've been majoring in Roland studies for about a year, with a minor in Angelica studies (But unfortunately, I'm the only one in this program).
Why Roland?
Being one of the two main characters (alongside Angela, who I will probably also get into on this blog), you would expect that all the analysis on him has already been done, and I'm just retreading old ground. But if you've been in any fandom whatsoever, you'll often find that mischaracterization is RAMPANT in fan communities, even for the most popular or the mainest of main casts.
I grew to really love Roland and get attached to his arc, and I've been frustrated by the all-too-common fan perception of him as Overpowered Anger Issues Man who Hates Everyone (Especially Angela), so I want to preach the message of who Roland really is.
I don't know what to put under the read more right now, so like. ill just put some misc stuff in there. Hope you stick around :)
last updated 1/12/25
Disclaimer:
I probably won't only post about roland. sorry to disappoint. too many important relationships between other characters, who i'll then also need to establish a baseline for. it's just the way it has to be
Tagging system
I will not be tagging every post as roland dont worry 😭 your fanart tag is safe. I'm probably going to use #daily roland (for semi-daily posts. bc i think i will try to draw a roland every day. i tend to do that anyways), and #roland posting / #angelica posting for various analysis posts. other character analysis posts will also follow the "[name] posting" format methinks.
i also reblog any post i can make about the character. i'll tag these as something. idk yet
Asks
Asks are open! I'm willing to answer in character but this isn't an ask blog! so i'll assume by default that it's not directed at him.
Okay well I kinda wanna know what your Roland "thesis" is before I follow you. If he's commonly mischaracterized, what do you think he really is?
Roland deeply fears vulnerability, but also deeply craves intimacy. He has emotional regulation issues, and difficulty reconciling opposing ideas, resulting in polarized judgement. He's sensitive to others' opinions of him and mirrors the personalities of those he interacts with, particularly absorbing the ones of those he likes (major example being, of course, Angelica), resulting in a poor sense of self and identity issues.
All this to say, Roland might be the most fantastic example of BPD I've ever seen written in a fictional character (that isn't my own OC). And he's even bisexual!
happy valentines to pm heads too! i enjoy so many pm ships i genuinely had to spin a wheel to decide which pairing to draw and rolsod won. im fond of these creatures.
After a successful start in 2025, the March (M)edit Madness Event returns in 2026! Last year we managed to make a strong start thanks to the efforts of our editors: We were able to complete the Transcripts of the Lobotomy Corp. Stories and make decent progress in the Library of Ruina Transcripts (now finished up to and partially including Urban Plague) as well as the Limbus Company ID pages (which at this point are nearing completion).
This year we would like to keep up this spirit and continue our efforts to make Cogitopedia the place to unify information from all Project Moon works.
What is MMM?
MMM is a Cogitopedia editing event that takes place over the entire month of March.
The goal is to have a massive amount of progress made over the course of the month!
Support your friends, make rivalries and work on whatever you want!
While there are community goals, the purpose of this event is to edit as much as possible.
Community Goals:
Limbus Company & Leviathan
50% of Limbus Company EGO pages completed (51 pages)
5 full Major Character pages created and filled out between Limbus Company and Leviathan
Library of Ruina
Receptions up to Urban Plague completed
Character descriptions for all Librarians and minor characters up to Urban Plague
Lobotomy Corporation & Wonderlab
20% of Lobotomy Corp. Abnormalities having completed galleries (22 pages)
All major Lobotomy Corp. Character pages complete (galleries not included)
All major Wonderlab Character pages complete (galleries not included)
Prizes
The person who contributes the MOST in the month of March will receive a $20 steam gift card.
Edits MUST have substance: spamming low quality edits will have you removed from the competition.
Completing community goals may also unlock new prizes!
Minor prizes may be given out depending on turnout: stay tuned and work hard for YOUR chance at riches!
If you don’t edit you go to hell before you die 🔥⛓️👊
pet peeve that happens more often than you would both think and want
[image description: a four panel comic of a blank grey person, a blank blue person, and the artist's sona, doc, an axolotl with glasses. in panel 1, doc and the grey person are looking at the blue person, who is saying "hi i am male character with a complex about my identity. i am miserable and forcing myself to be something i'm not. transgender imagery keeps being associated with me especially in scenes where i'm most sad and/or angry about my identity, which is male. even if i hate it. even if it's painful." in panel 2, doc is thinking of an egg over a trans flag while the grey person says "omg transmasc king". in panel 3, doc's thought bubble pops as he quickly looks over at the grey person with a baffled expression. in panel 4, doc, still baffled, looks back over to the blue person, who is saying "i cannot stress enough that i am so unhappy with who i currently am and who i currently am is male". end id]
This is an analysis on Angela's visual design, primarily in Lobotomy Corporation, but some visual elements and their meaning gets expanded on later. I will, perhaps, elaborate or explain too much, but this is my house and I like to talk.
Part 1: What we see, what it is, what we're told
Let's start with the easy ones
First: Color and how it works
The first thing you notice is that there's only two colors beside the blacks and whites: Red, and blue.
For now
What matters about this, and forgive me for my lack of theory, is how it works with your attention. Everything is muted except the red parts and (partially) the hair. This will draw your eye to specific parts of her design, and you will remember it. This also makes the moments where she does open her eyes a bit more impactful because of the contrast.
It's important you remember these in specific because they all mean something. However, it's not only about what stands out, but also what doesn't.
The second easy part: The ABC Trio.
We all know the hair tie is an allusion to Carmen. It's important that it is not literally their elements, but they call to them. Carmen's hair tie isn't red, it has a red kkommi, but the tie itself isn't red.
Then immediately after we have the second red element: the neck tie, Benjamin's
Benjo does not get a full section because his visual influence is fairly short. The tie connects her to him, the tie is right over her chest, he is her first friend, he is involved in her programming, he is who advises her to be kind. Benjamin is signaling at her heart.
And finally, Ayin: the eyes and the general scheme
While they all have white lab coats, it's only Ayin who dresses in black like her.
There is one last red element: the shoes. This one is a little bit obvious but a little bit long. Project Moon loves their archetypes, and loves doing these little things. The Red Shoes are, well, alluding to The Red Shoes, which is very much in the game with its own twist.
In the classic tale, the protagonist is a vain little girl who chooses the dancing shoes over what is "appropriate" and "correct". Different characters seemingly "curse" the shoes to keep them dancing like she wants, regardless of her wishes once she starts disliking how much it gets in the way. Eventually she asks to get her feet cut off because she can't get the shoes off, but the shoes with the amputated feet continue to dance and haunt her. Only by being A Good Christian and praying she gets forgiven.
In the game, The Red Shoes has a slightly different approach but it does talk about a similar desire. The difference is that instead the user does not wish to take off the shoes but violently defends them. The Red Shoes is about uncontrollable obsession and being overwhelmed by desire, the shoes amplify your urges. Notably, it also points out determination as a useful virtue to wield it. Does it ring a bell?
The shoes subtly foreshadow this, that she will act rashly and be guided by desire at some point. You're supposed to make the connection with the abnormality (like in many other cases. Say, Snow Queen, Burrowing Heaven, Bloodbath), and then, note the differences between it and its inspiration as an archetype. Where does this desire lead? how does Library of Ruina end?
Now, I want to mention a couple of details before pivoting into something broader.
Her bangs are uneven, like Carmen's.
It is like that by design, not as a result of the side tail
The implication here is that Ayin had certain details in mind, and cared enough to keep that in specific. You learn about people by listening to what they say, and looking at what they look.
Additionally, it means the side tail was her doing. She put on that hair tie, and took it off. These things are important. I'll get there soon.
Okay but why does she look like that? Why a side tail if Carmen has a ponytail? what's the deal with robot boobs?
A character design is meant to do a lot of things, but as anything art, its primarily communicating. We've talked about how these colors and elements connect to other characters who are, in some form, her creators (Carmen indirectly so, but they're all the roots of her existence, like parents-), but there's more to talk about.
Part 2: The Hair
The Sky, Childish Innocence, and Death
First and foremost, her hair is a specific shade of blue that is repeatedly used in this game to allude to Death, Negation, and Justice
PALE
Pale is a type of conceptual damage like the rest of the colors (RED, WHITE and BLACK). PALE is notorious for damaging your very essence rather than something tangible, which translates to %HP damage against the player. PALE damage is, like the other three, also associated with a virtue and a work type, a method of interacting with abnormalities, that being Justice: The capacity to act decisively- Justice increases your movement speed and attack speed as a result- and Repression: negation of the meaning of existence, denying desires, purpose, and the self.
There's a popular theory that the 4 virtues, the 4 works, and the 4 damage types, are a way of unifying Dante Alighieri's usage of the virtues, concepts of psychology and treatment, and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. While these are not expanded and it's hard to say if that was genuinely the intent, they have a sense of coherence with each other (Fortitude is physical prowess (HP) -> Instinct work is physiological needs -> RED damage is physical damage. Prudence is knowledge and the capacity to evaluate (SP) -> Insight work tends to environmental needs to appease the mind -> WHITE damage is mental damage. Temperance is self restraint (Work effectiveness) -> Attachment tends to social/emotional needs -> BLACK damage erodes the body and the mind. Justice is the capacity to act (speed) -> Repression work aggressively suppresses the meaning of an archetype -> PALE damage hurts your very essence).
Regardless if the damage types are meant to be the horsemen, PALE is strict, decisive, and ultimate. Ruina further associates PALE and Angela with death ("The Librarian of Death", "The Pale Librarian"), but Lobotomy Corporation already does that when Angela mentions the origin of her name: Angelos.
To make it very short, Angelos is a greek goddess who has influence over the realm of the dead. There's some associations between Angelos and Hecate, but it's not too important.
Angela is from her name to her role to her color to her context to her sequel surrounded by death.
Secondly, let's talk about the Sky
The color of my hair is that of the morning sky after a light shower.
To make it very short, this is about Carmen. Every fond memory of Carmen has her and Ayin out in the field, green pastures, and a clear blue sky. This background is her- plants, the sun, and the sky are Carmen. The very background of Da'at is the same scenery, but distorted with strange homes crashing into the ground.
We won't get into the meaning of this background here, but it's important that you understand THIS field is associated with Carmen in Ayin's mind, and that Angela's choice of words are not a coincidence (Consider the rest of the quote is "The tone and shape of my voice is taken from the wisest person in the world. Lastly, my face is picturesque of the person who had the most beautiful smile." And we know Carmen's desire to be known, and how everyone talked about her voice and smile).
Lastly,
An Innocent Desire
The side tail is cute, isn't it? Almost uncharacteristically so. Adults don't tend to wear side tails, those and pig tails are associated with children and their behaviors. Ayin didn't do it since she wakes up with her hair loose, so putting on the hair tie was her choice.
What does this say?
First, that she decided to draw a closer resemblance to Carmen, perhaps believing that way she is doing what is expected of her and will be rewarded, just like following the script, just like following Benjamin's advice on having a kind heart.
Second, that her approach to doing these things is of someone who is just starting to make any sort of decision. She does not have these notions of how to appropriately wear something, it is reminiscent of a small child putting on their parent's shoes.
Angela, when she just wakes up, despite knowing that Carmen is dead, despite being able to easily draw the conclusion that Ayin is emotionally devastated because they had a bond, cannot understand what's going on around her, and sheepishly asks Benjamin for answers. She doesn't know why Ayin behaves like that, why she exists, why the world feels wrong- she just wishes for some comfort, and the only thing she knows is Carmen's memories. She is a child in an adult mind and body, mimicking who is symbolically her mom and following the advice of who is in a way her dad, because it's her only notion of what existing entails.
Is it strange that a little girl would wear her hair up like a little girl?
Malkuth realization is painful about this characterization. Every single exchange is a kid trying to understand why her dad hates her, going back to her other dad to ask what can she do about it, and is told that she has to obey and do her best. She's quick on understanding the logic behind the script, but emotionally she's lost.
The hair is this part of her character. The last innocent hope that doing what she's told and working will net her the approval of what is a parental figure, what should be an example, safety, and comfort. It's in contrast with her cynical speech and exhaustion, with that anger hidden behind a veneer of corporate politeness.
But we know how that plays out, don't we?
Part 3: Carmen didn't look like that
Anyone with minimal observation skills can tell this. The resemblance is spotty- it is there! But only in some aspects. Like I said, we can learn from someone from what they talk about and what details they pay attention to. We can also learn from what details they avoid.
Carmen's outfit is mostly practical except for the skirt, but it doesn't draw any attention. She stands firmly and confident, is known for being a loud and bright presence, and having a really messy work space, as well as the messy ponytail and slightly unkempt hair.
Angela is wearing a pencil skirt, tights, red high heels, formal shirt with a formal vest, and has her hair tidy.
Carmen is really skinny.
Angela has the very notorious chest (that, importantly, her posture accentuates) and apparently more leg meat.
The reasoning is simple
She's not to be a replacement, but to be of comfort. However, this very action by itself is the last bastardization of the memory of Carmen. He took her face and voice and glued it into a big titty doll on a sexy outfit. Ayin did not do this in sound mind, Angela's first words were a reminder that this was something real that he did with his own hands, it was a slap that woke him up from that work stupor, and the result was visceral disgust and rejection- he hated himself.
It's important to understand as well that Angela's role despite being a metaphorical daughter is to be motherly- she is to take care of him and his emotions not the other way around. This happens regardless of his rejection in other ways, in how she has to dance around him and his feelings in order to get him to do what the script demands, in a twisted sense of nurture.
This is again another distortion of motherhood. The other is, as you have guessed, Carmen: the mother of all abnormalities, the woman who lost her adoptive child, the one with the crashing homes.
While we could associate her sexualized appearance again with death and its counterpart fertility (hint: Hecate. Hint again: in Ruina her coat has wheat patterns, associated with this same idea), it is not something that stays like the hair color, her role, and other symbolism- the sexualization stops the moment she ditches the desire to be acknowledged (don't worry, THE WHOLE FANDOM will discuss her tits, you will hear about this change against your will. A lot). This uh voluptuousness is associated with motherhood and emotional care, and- well I mean the guy had more than just a desire for comfort, right? we all played Silent Hill 2.
Part 4: Innocuous
Lobotomy Corporation is very good at playing with expectations and then pulling the rug on you. It describes itself in terms of other things (like SCP) and presents itself with familiar tropes and a particular type of humor. Anyone in the indie games scene and being online knows this kind of tone.
The initial impression is that these are just characters in suits, the story is satire on corporate cruelty, and nothing is particularly deep- Wouldn't it be funny if SCP exploited the creatures for profit rather than protection? Let's make it funnier by keeping the robots safe while people die, let's lean in by giving the robots mental illness. You're just a poor guy with your cold and corporate sexy AI assistant that sasses at you and Amazon Training Video's at you about dying for the company.
You're meant to take it at face value at the start. Angela is superficially tropey as hell, you will not blink twice at AI sexy assistant, we live in a world with AI girlfriends on your phone. Nothing about her appearance is special, it's literally anime hair cute sexy girl in formal wear.
They are very deliberate about this like every other rug pull. She's just appealing, you know? no meaning behind her appearance.
Part 5: Details and Ruina
Her Ruina designs (specifically the raven outfit and the librarian outfit) build off of her Lobotomy Corporation outfit. She cuts down her hair, conceals herself with more death, and then, dresses in something of her choice.
The librarian fit ditches the tight skirt, the demure pose, and the accentuation of her chest. She is comfortable, first and foremost, and her standing square with her arms to her side present her not as strong necessarily, but definitely not submissive.
The coat is adorned with wheat, a common symbol related to the harvest. Persephone, for example, is associated with the changing of seasons (spring specifically), harvest, and death.
Her new hair instead of alluding to Carmen resembles Ayin, but not entirely. It has a slight resemblance to Benjamin as well.
Ruina will present both Carmen and Benjamin as guiding parental figures with their own ideals, methods, and flaws, but now Angela is in the emotional realm of "young traumatized adult". She behaves like a volatile teenager throughout Ruina because she's emotionally there- she's gone through a lot but never got to grow emotionally, she's stunted, even if she has changed in other ways.
Conclusion:
There isn't one singular cohesive point. I'm writing this to explain the ways (that I noticed) PM used visual elements to design her in functions of first impression, storytelling, characterization, and cohesive thematic connections with the rest of the story.
when the persona you made eats you; when the performance youve been putting on eats you; when the name they gave you eats you; when the image people made of you eats you; when the role you were assigned eats you; when the you that other people see or even made for you or you made for them takes over the you that you know and eats you alive.
There will always be a special place in my heart for fallen paladins. Oh, what's that, dear? You tried to find fulfillment in living up to society's expectations of you? Did your best to become the person perfectly suited for the world they made? And then you came to some sort of realization that turned your convictions and ways of being on their heads? And now you follow a new path with equal determination, now disillusioned with the mores of polite society? So like, what's your HRT start date,
it must be said that i simply love to watch a character destroy all their relationships in an attempt to get what they think they want only to achieve their goals and be lonelier and more depressed than ever. and to realize they can never go back and are trapped at the top of the hill playing their part. its the dream you never wake up from!!
