Mad as a Hatter

Matthew Hedrick | 17 | Almost-Senior Hello! I’m Matt! Simply marvelous to meet you! I can't really think of what to put in here, which is odd, because I never usually struggle with finding something to say. Apparently I talk quite a lot, so feel free to tell me to stop talking if I start annoying you, I won’t be offended! I'm about to become a senior at Pageson High, I'm the co-owner of the most adorable cat in the world and I'm obsessed with making hats. Tell me if you’d be interested in buying one, I'd be happy to make one for you!

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[daria-tremaine-deactivated20130]

We’re going to have to keep knocking on doors. I went to her party but I was drunk out of my mind.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Oh yes, I was drunk as well. And I'm pretty sure that was your fault.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[adam-monstre-deactivated2013072]

I don’t own a trampoline.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

You don't own a trampoline? Oh, you poor thing, no wonder you're so angry all the time! Tell you what, after I find Gwen, I shall drag my trampoline over to your house and you can jump on it as much as you want.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[daria-tremaine-deactivated20130]

Well…

It’s not like I have anything better to do. I guess I’ll come with you.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Yay! Company! *drags outside* Do you happen to know where Gwen lives or are we just going to have to keep knocking on people's doors?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[adam-monstre-deactivated2013072]

Why the fuck would I want your cookies?

And maybe I like having all of this anger pent up inside. You ever think about that, kid?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Why wouldn't you want cookies? They're filled with fairy dust and happiness and make everyone feel less angry!

Don't be ridiculous, it can't be fun to have all that anger pent up inside. Have you considered talking to someone about your problems? Or, better, jumping on a trampoline?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[this-is-rph]

Such a handsome man like yourself can call me anything he wants.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Handsome? Okay, I guess I can deal with that. Thank you sugar cuddle honey bear duckling sweetie pie cupcake.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[adam-monstre-deactivated2013072]

Well, kid, that’s because I’m a fucking aggressive person.

You got a problem with that?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Oh, no, not at all! But... well... it can't be fun being such an aggressive person.  You appear to have a lot of pent-up anger. Would it help if I brought you back a plate of cookies?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[daria-tremaine-deactivated20130]

Three hundred… how the fuck do you manage to accidentally make 3 hundred cookies?

Though that does sound like a lot of cookies….

You think she would mind me eating some of those cookies too?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

I have no idea! But I'm definitely not complaining. I'm sure she wouldn't mind you having some, she has more than enough. Would you like to come with me, or shall I bring you back a plate?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[this-is-rph]

A pretty little thing like you? You can call me whatever you want.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Pretty? I'm not pretty! Pretty is for girls! I'm very manly!

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[adam-monstre-deactivated2013072]

You’re that fucking boy who fell in love with that pineapple aren’t you?

God fucking dammit. Of all the people to turn up on my porch.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Turns red* How do you you know about that? Colleen said barely anyone saw! She promised she wouldn't tell anyone.... I mean, uh, that wasn't me, no.

I don't know whether you've noticed, but you seem to use the word "fuck" a lot. Some people may interpret that as being quite aggressive.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[jacksonharpernowait]

No, no, I really have nothing else to do. Now if we’re heading there from my house… *pauses, takes a deep breath, sighs* then Gwen lives this way.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Alright, lead the way! *skips along road* have you ever tried skipping? It always puts me in a good mood!

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[this-is-rph]

Okay, um, darlin’, you’re knockin’ on my barn door. Did ya think Gwen lived in here?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Well, I was sort of hoping. But it would seem that she doesn't. This search is becoming so much harder than I expected! Hang on... did you just call be darling? I don't think I appreciate that. How would you like it if I called you "sweetie"?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[adam-monstre-deactivated2013072]

What the fuck are you doing on my front porch?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

There's no need to be so rude! *huffs* I just thought that this might be Gwen's house, but I guess it isn't, so sorry to bother you!

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[eudormau5]

Three hundred cookies?! 

Well… I suppose I could… 

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Yes, it's great, isn't it? I'm not sure how someone can accidentally bake so many, but I'm not complaining!

Alright, come on then! *heads out to street*

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[daria-tremaine-deactivated20130]

I don’t know though. I mean I’m pretty sure she’s not, but hell, she could be living under the stairs for all I know.

Why are you looking for her anyway?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Oh, well, I guess she could be! You might want to double-check. Although, I think it would be quite hard for her to bake three hundred cookies while living under your stairs. That's why I'm going to her house, you see. She accidentally baked too many cookies and so I kindly offered to help her get rid of them! 

[the-anti-romantic]

So what is there to do around her anyway?

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Oh no, not another moping person. It's summer! Be creative!

[professorfraser]

That storm certainly hit hard...

I’m alright though…

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

Harry! Oh thank god you're alive. Not that I was stressing or anything.

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

*Knock knock*

[eudormau5]

Alright alright…

It’s okay, I don’t really know her…

[mad-hat-boy-blog]

I don't really know her that well either, to be honest, but she'd very kind and she baked three hundred cookies so I'm sure she won't mind you having some too.