Okie dokie so I wanted to make my own prompt list (feel free to request any of these with a character/fandom!). Most of these are off the top of my head that I just scribbled down but some are random snippets of actual dialog from books and conversations I’ve had.
!! I’m on mobile SO no “keep reading” thing. Also there are swear words. !!
1. “Does your toilet have arm rests?”
2. “You’re not a monster. Calling yourself a monster suggests that you do not care, and obviously that is untrue. You care. As much as you hate it, you care.”
3. “I have only been in absolute life threatening danger twice!”
4. “Don’t murder anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”
5. “Since you’re preoccupied, I’ll intuit your flattering compliment.”
6. “One of these days you’re going to fall, break your neck, and die. THEN what would I tell your mother?”
“That I died happily?”
7. “I love it when someone insults me. That means I don’t have to be nice anymore.”
8. “I’m not a thief, I’m just really good at acquiring things that aren’t mine.”
9. “No, you may not call me a nickname. Learn my full name and how to pronounce it.”
10. “Oh darling, go shove a cork in it.”
11. “You’re about as discreet as a gunshot.”
12. “Missed me?”
“To answer your possibly rhetoric question, I missed you slightly.”
13. “I presume I’m dead?”
“You presume correct.”
14. “On the bright side, I was only stabbed twice.”
15. “Stop giggling, you’ve had a shit day and its getting creepy.”
16. “Dude, can I like, surrender and not be in pain?”
17. “You okay? That must’ve been a hit right to the heart. With bricks. Made of cement. That were on fire.”
18. “I know who it is, I have caller ID, dipshit.”
19. “Sticks and stones, sweetheart.”
“Call me that again and I’ll go find some.”
20. “The dick punch has made him ludicrous.”
21. “Oh my God, it’s the mafia.”
22. “Oh man, dude, I am so sorry, I was completely sure you weren’t real.”
23. “Am I in some sort of druggie cult? Because I can’t join one of those.”
24. “I’m not awake. You never saw me.”
25. “Well I guess its time to go make a scene.”
26. “Do you trust me?”
“No, not in any sort of way.”
27. “So you’re bulletproof. That would have been good to know before I lost my shit.”
28. “Ding dong.”
“What the fuck were in a car and-?”
29. “Well this is a nice change of scenery.”
“Were in a jail cell.”
“I was being sarcastic.”
30. “I’m an assassin.”
“You broke your toe on a table once.”
“You swore to never speak about that again.”
31. “If someone gets nosy, just shoot ‘em.”
“SHOOT THEM?”
“Politely?”
32. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Longer than you’d like.”
33. “Why are you hiding behind me. What did you do.”
34. “I didn’t do- oh, wait, that? I did do that, yeah.”
35. “You are cordially invited to go fuck yourself.”
36. “I saw you staring, but I wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.”
37. “If you don’t sit down you’re going to catch on fire.”
38. “There is no way that that just happened, right?”
39. “Is it murder if they walk into my knife because I’m very sneaky and own many knives.”
40. “You’re sparkling, princess.”
41. “Ah, there he is. That motherfucker. What a tool.”
42. “Family ain’t who you’re born with, it’s who you die for.”
