In Regards to Eric Soucy (Former Guitarist of Turnover) Abuse Allegations and Victim Shaming
First, I would like to say that I am creating this post not out of revenge or wanting Eric to get in even more shit. Rather, for the sorrow I feel when reading the backlash and victim shaming that has been directed towards the young woman who bravely came forward with her experience.
I, like several women, found myself in a messy, painful, mental mind fuck after getting involved with Soucy. I am speaking up to show solidarity with the women who have been harmed by Soucy and other abusers. Too many have been threatened and scared into silence.
To those who are remaining silent: I understand and I am here for you but if we continue to be intimidated by abusers then nothing will change. The cycle of abuse will continue and we will be in the same bullshit situation we have always been in. There is strength in numbers.
Some of Eric’s sympathizers seem grossly ignorant on the topic of emotional abuse, so please allow me to offer some guidance.
“Psychological abuse (also referred to as psychological violence, emotional abuse, or mental abuse) is a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.[1][2][3] It is often associated with situations of power imbalance in abusive relationships including bullying, gaslighting and abuse in the workplace.” (Source: Wikipedia)
The reason this definition of emotional abuse can be applied to her experience is the following:
“that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression or post-traumatic stress disorder.” and “including bullying, gaslighting and abuse in the workplace.”
Soucy’s abusive behavior, which included gaslighting and deception, DEFINITELY caused her to feel anxiety and depression.
I began seeing Eric, in a romantic manner, from about May of 2015 - December of 2016 (almost the same time frame as the young woman). During this tumultuous period I was toyed with, fed lies and false promises—all to manipulate me. I tried to cut it off multiple times, however, I was unsuccessful. My friends and my family saw how negatively affected I was by the situation and had advised me to get out of it (so many times I lost count). They referred to his behavior as “emotional abuse”.
Now, before you start rolling your eyes and saying “Why didn’t you just leave then!?” I would like to ask… Have you ever been in an unhealthy and mentally destabilizing relationship?
If you have then you will understand the struggle to break free. If you have not then you are a very fortunate person and maybe you should ask a friend who has been in a situation similar to this to understand how hard it is to just walk away.
While romantically involved with Soucy I was told that he wanted to marry me, that I was the only one for him and that we would eventually be together. These were false promises he would remind me of every time I tried to stop speaking to him.
In a final attempt to keep me around, Eric claimed the reason he was so distant and unable to move forward with me was because a young woman had gone public about the alleged abuse she suffered from his actions. This was in January of 2017. I had not been aware of these screenshots prior to him bringing them up. I then read through her statement and read the screenshots and it was ALARMINGLY similar to everything I had experienced with him. He would pull the same “I am going to die alone.” “But I wanted to marry you and share my life with you.” crap every time I tried to cut it off. I had told him on several occasions that the situation was causing me depression and mental unrest. I felt the pain of this woman and what she had gone through and is still going through. It was my own story of my experience seeing this man for almost two years.
I want to state to all the women involved that I am SO SO SO sorry that you all had to go through this. I am here for you, I stand with you and I will not back down or be intimidated by petty threats. This situation is all too common. Not just in the music scene but in general.
DON’T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE A VICTIM. YOU DO NOT NEED TO PLAY THIS ROLE.
YOU CAN PLAY THE ROLE OF A STRONG ASS AMAZONIAN GODDESS WHO STANDS FOR NO ABUSE AND NO MANIPULATION.
You just have to believe and know your worth and truth!
I am sharing these screenshots so that you all can have proof that what this woman is saying is true and VALID. Also, mind you, these were all from the time period in which the two of them were dating and or “official.” I had no idea this was the case.
In some of the screen shots I even question him about the photos of her, asking who she is because I KNEW he was involved with her. I could feel it.
NEVER DOUBT YOUR INTUITION LADIES!!!
Unfortunately, I do not have the conversations from the most recent cut off because I deleted all of our correspondence on my phone trying to forget about him and this situation. For this I apologize, however, I was able to find some screenshots which I have supplied (see most recent posts) and should suffice.
I hope I helped you all see that this poor woman is not the only victim of Eric’s manipulation and abuse. Please stop victim blaming and shaming, you are better than that and it doesn’t look good on you.
This is supposed to be the generation that brings change, understanding, peace and love to the planet. Act like it.
Sincerely,
Another Woman Who Is Tired Of This Shit
