Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Damn, v.v. This isn't exactly a happy story for me to to tell either. Whoever wrote this just chose the wrong ones. Don't get the wrong idea guys, I actually do have a very great life. These just happen to be the not so great parts of my life.
So how to explain my parents? Well hmm. My parents started dating when they were fifteen years old. According to my dad he was going to break up with her when they were seventeen because she was to many things he couldn't handle. She was clingy, she had to have things her way, she was incredibly selfish, ect. But when she realized this she cried and begged him not to leave. He's told me many times that even though he does wish he had, he wouldn't change it for anything because from it he got my younger brother and I.
So, no. My dad stayed with my mom. When she was nineteen she got pregnant with me and when my grandparents found out, I'm not sure which side it was, but they kind of forced my parents into marriage. I was at their wedding though, so I suppose that makes me a bastard?
Having gotten together so young was a mistake. I even see that. My mom got to much attention from him at such a young age and for some bizarre reason had unrealistic expectations. She decided she would be a stay at home mom and for that my dad had to work twice as much. He started working in the oil field and she spent her time shopping. We ended up in debt, even though my dad was making about 8,000 dollars every two weeks and eventually he had to pay that off. It took him like four years to do it but he did it.
From there he started saving up money. For the last ten years he had basically been making that money but he barely had anything to show for it. In that time he had bought my mom a car and a van because that's what she had wanted. Plus her wardrobe. So fed up, my dad finally told my mom that she had to get a job. He had started putting money away and she would take it and use it as she pleased. My mother was angry about having to get a job.
I was away seeing my ex. My parents would call me every other day and talk. Everything seemed completely normal. I was expecting to go back and everything be the same as normal. When I got back my parents told me we were going to go for ice cream. I just wanted to go home and sleep after a fourteen hour bus ride but they insisted so I went along with it. So we went there and without any explanation my my mom randomly blurted out, "We're moving to Newfoundland in four days." At the time I lived in Alberta, my girlfriend lived in B.C. So obviously this news didn't make my day so awesome.
My dad asked me if he could talk to me outside so I said okay and we went and sat in the car. My dad and I were never close so our talks were usually awkward. My dad broke down crying. I've never see him do that before, not once in my life. He told me that my mom had been cheating on him with a guy from work. He told me he didn't know what to do. He told me he loved her, he had learned to love her despite all of the things that he couldn't understand about her. My mom had told him apparently, that moving back to Newfoundland (where all of our family and such are) would make things better. They would be around loved ones, she would be away from Ron and they could work on their marriage.
Desperate, my dad said okay. Like I said, my dad and I were never that close but seeing him cry like that got to me. I do care about people and I have always loved my dad, even if we didn't really show it. So for him, I willingly packed all of my stuff up. And sure enough, four days from this talk we were on the road to Newfoundland.
Things seemed to be going well. About two weeks later though my dad and I began to suspect that there was still something going on. She would randomly run off to call someone, but the only times that I heard her talk on the phone it was to her friend Linda so we pushed it from our minds. One day my grandma asked my mom to come help her and for once she got off the computer (she had been spending so much time on it, she wouldn't even come up to talk to my brother and I, or play games with the rest of us). I checked her messages, maybe it's wrong but whatever. There was one from him, saying that he missed her but he understood that she was married and he was glad they wouldn't be carrying on any further.
I told my dad about this and obviously he was pleased. My birthday ticked around right away. This was actually my sixteenth birthday. Because I didn't get to have my 'sweet sixteen' like I was supposed to have, I ended up spending my birthday in a room full of strangers that my grandma had invited over. But my dad seemed happier so it didn't matter for me. After dinner my mom disappeared again, on my birthday. My dad was pretty pissed off about this so he went to talk to her. Apparently a bunch of bills had come for him, including my mom's cell phone bill. It showed that at least three times a day, even after that message on facebook, they had been talking to one another. So finally my dad had enough and told my mom it was over. She freaked out and completely ruined my birthday but I'm not going to go into detail.
There's more to the story but it's getting rather long. I went to live with my dad for a while but in October he moved back to Newfoundland. Up until this point I wasn't talking to my mom anymore but I didn't want to move so many provinces away from my ex so I stayed with my mom.
I'm a lot closer with both of my parents now. And my dad is so much happier without her. He's in a great relationship and so much happier, whereas my mom is still with the guy she left him for and she's miserable. I talk to my dad every other day on the phone, we're so close and without all of this our relationship probably never would have been that way. I'm actually close with my mom now, too, but I don't forgive her for everything she did to our family. In August I'm going to be going to live with my dad and brother in Newfoundland. So I suppose everything worked out.
Sometimes the good things do come from the bad. And this is a situation that I wouldn't have changed. Because I love both of my parents.
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