The Forgotten Turn to Dust

Michelle Pucey Dominus || 5th Year || Gryffindor "Sometimes I believe six impossible things before breakfast." ... The rest of the time, I believe even more. Always sometimes so hard that reality slips into that funny foggy state you get right when you wake up, before you realize how late you are or whatever else you have to do that day. And when I do remember, I just want to crawl back in between the pages and disappear again. Forgotten as the period at the end of a chapter.

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle laughed, “Yeah I guess. Just a bit too too. If you know what I mean, he’s too gallant, too perfect, too fake. Everything seems over the top and in genuine!” She moved her hands emphatically to explain herself, “Everything is status with him, status and position. You know he wants to be the Minister of Magic, right? That’s not a position to laugh at but it’s also one without any truth. But I don’t want to just pick something because it will look good. And that’s the thing, I don’t think he wants to make chances, discuss policy, I think he wants a nice fancy position that will make everyone envious! Hmm,” she paused for a moment, cracking a smile, “How bored are you of my ramblings? I bet you didn’t risk life and limb to hear why I don’t like Logan Nott.” She laughed at his dramatics, “Well in that case you better march away and never speak to me again! Especially given that dramatic rant I just went on, I bet you’re offended to your core.” She watched his hand fall and longed to grab it, but his next words brought her back to reality. “I… no. We can’t. I just- I couldn’t risk you getting caught. This is still a dance for Dominus only. Someone will see you, and soon.”

[xthcmas-deactivated20170615]

“Yeah, I know what you mean. He seems to… Like a doll. So poised all the time, like he could do know wrong. It’s rather sickening, if you ask me. Sort of.. Creepy. Not real makes it all the more forced. It’s sad, really.” Hugo couldn’t help but shiver when she said that he wanted to be the Minister of Magic. “He wants to be the Minister of Magic?  Wonderful. “Hugo muttered sarcastically, “Another person with the emotions of a brick running this place. Just what we need.” The light-brown haired boy smiled, shaking his head. He looked around to make sure no one was looking before leaning into her ear and whisper, “I could never be bored of any topic you ramble about. “ Before he leaned back with a smile, his cheeks a soft shade of pink. “So offended.” He teased, looking at her. He watched her expression change on a dime, making his own expression change as well, causing him to shift positions  He wasn’t entirely thrilled to be reminded of his status compared to her. He liked being able to be happy and free without remembering titles so to hear the status thing from her, well, it did sting a little. “Michelle, it may be a dance for Dominus but that doesn’t mean that Servus aren’t supposed to serve.  I’m a little worried, sure, but it’s worth it all to see you. I can do a round of little things to keep people from suspecting anything… But I’m not sure I want to do that. That means Logan gets to dance with you again.”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

“Like a doll… exactly! At least Rachel is a person, he’s a poppet at most. Definitely creepy,” Michelle nodded in agreement. Her hair didn’t fall forward as it normally did, however, and she felt it pulling on the tight pins anchored deep into her thick curls. She blew an exacerbated sigh up at the small wisps of bangs that made it into her eyes, “This hair is going to be the death of me. No wonder the adult dominus are so tense all the time, their hair is so taunt it’s hurting their brains!” She laughed a little at her own joke before pausing awkwardly, having caught Hugo’s eyes crinkling at the corner. Somehow his eyes made her pause and her stomach tighten. She bit her lip and looked away quickly, twisting her hands together, “Well I mean, it's just," she pointed awkwardly at the huge glittering jewel-encrusted hairpin, "It hurts." Michelle looked up for a second to smile apologetically at her incoherent response before looking down again. There was really no reason she should feel so conflicted but right now just keeping eye contact with Hugo seemed to be a struggle. She wanted him far away so she could actually think, but also didn’t want him to leave her side for even a second.

Suddenly he leaned in and Michelle felt the breath tickle her neck, making her shiver. Just as soon as it happened, it ended, and Michelle was left uncomfortably warm and significantly confused. But a second later he was back where he started, and she was left with her head spinning and wondering if that had even happened at all.

A second after she said it, she regretted how it changed his expression. She hated being the one to remind him they couldn’t be friends the way they wanted, but someone had to. And Michelle was the logical one after all, it was her job to make sure he never got hurt; her sole responsibly to prevent him from ever suffering. His mention of Logan made her grimace, "I will have to dance with him, again. If he asks I can't deny him without major social upheaval.” She looked around and bit her lip, “I don’t want to,” she whispered, “I hope you know that.”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

The look on Hugo’s face almost made Michelle laugh out loud. She had, of course, been kidding about actually fainting but the flash fear on his face was so unlike his normal demeanor it almost made her suspicious. She shrugged one shoulder, “He’s a bit too…” Instead of finding a good word for it she just stood up straighter, crossing her arms and made a big show of looking down her nose, “You know.” Michelle feigned surprise, “Oh my, did you want to da to tnce with Logan? How could I not notice this before?” She could tell he looked a little wistful but there was nothing she could do to fix it, besides cheering him up. They were only 15, they weren’t going to change the world. “There is too! If you get expelled I wouldn’t ever forgive myself.”

[xthcmas-deactivated20170615]

“A bit too… What?” Hugo grinned looking at her, waiting waiting for a response from her as to what he was like. When she gave no explanation but a sort of..Charades answer, Hugo couldn’t help but chuckle. “So he’s a bit of a bore and rather stiff, is he?” The boy grinned, looking her body language over. “Well, I can see why you would want to dance with him. People like that are rather-.. Well, they aren’t very fun, are they?” Hugo pressed his hand to his chest in a dramatic fashion, “How could you not notice? He’s all I ever think about! Don’t you know? I’m quite smitten with one Logan Nott.” He teased before lowering his hand, So far, this ball that he was certain was going to be a disaster was going much more.. According to plan than he could have ever hoped. “If I get expelled than so be it! Besides, I’d only have myself to blame and if you take the blame then… Well, I’ll think of some sort of punishment for that when we cross that bridge– if we get to that bridge.”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle laughed, “Yeah I guess. Just a bit too too. If you know what I mean, he’s too gallant, too perfect, too fake. Everything seems over the top and in genuine!” She moved her hands emphatically to explain herself, “Everything is status with him, status and position. You know he wants to be the Minister of Magic, right? That’s not a position to laugh at but it’s also one without any truth. But I don’t want to just pick something because it will look good. And that’s the thing, I don’t think he wants to make chances, discuss policy, I think he wants a nice fancy position that will make everyone envious! Hmm,” she paused for a moment, cracking a smile, “How bored are you of my ramblings? I bet you didn’t risk life and limb to hear why I don’t like Logan Nott.” She laughed at his dramatics, “Well in that case you better march away and never speak to me again! Especially given that dramatic rant I just went on, I bet you’re offended to your core.” She watched his hand fall and longed to grab it, but his next words brought her back to reality. “I… no. We can’t. I just- I couldn’t risk you getting caught. This is still a dance for Dominus only. Someone will see you, and soon.”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

{Treasure Hunt}

It had taken Michelle far to long to follow through on this. It wasn’t totally her fault, she reminded herself as she paced in front of the bench. There had been homework, and she had to keep up with her reading, and of course there had been the quiddich match. Okay, she’d admit that the last excuse was a bit of a stretch. But it wasn’t like Hugo had come out of his way to mention a time either.

That last thought made her bit her lip, it wasn’t fair of her to put an equal burden of responciblilty on Hugo. That’s just not how things worked. She had to be the one to make the plans, she had to follow through. And she had, afterall. She got Lily alone and convinced her to take a note to Hugo, despite how much she clearly hated Michelle she took it.

Though, Michelle stopped pacing for a second and sank down onto the bench, a sickening thought coming to her mind all at once, maybe she hadn’t given it to Hugo after all. Maybe she just burned it up or laughed about it or even showed it to a teacher. Or maybe she was holding it for blackmail. Each successive idea made Michelle’s stomach drop even further. She should just leave, he was late already, he’s not coming.

[xthcmas-deactivated20170615]

9 o’clock. Hugo had written down that time on a piece of paper and even gone over it a couple of times to make sure it was dark and bold. He loved getting to see Michelle. Why? She was the only reason he smiled these days. The reason why he didn’t feel like punching a wall… The reason he had a light. She made him happy. 

All day, Hugo kept his hazel brown eyes fixed on the clocks all throughout Hogwarts. Each one ticking by slower and slower than the last because his excitement was higher than a kite. When Lily had given him the note originally he thought she might have just been pranking him. So, he was hesitant to read it. However, when she whispered who it was from Hugo was faster to read it than ever. Of course, leave it to his day to go sour when he was assigned extra assignments and chores to keep him busy around the castle. Servus couldn’t have happiness… Clearly, someone sensed that Hugo was happy and they wanted to end it. 

“Come on… Come on.. “

9 O’clock… 9:15… Hugo worked diligently to finish as fast as possible. By the time 9:30 rolled around he was finally done and able to go home. Well, not home more like to Michelle but only he knew that.. And, now, probably his cousin Lily. He walked swiftly through the halls of Hogwarts, careful not to make it a run. At long last he could see it, their newest meeting place coming into view and wih Michelle in view too bringing a smile to his face. When he was no farther than twenty feet away he picked his pace up to a run, making sure to stop just in front of her so he didn’t crash into her. 

“I’m so.. Sorry… That.. I am.. late!” He panted, taking a moment to himself to gather oxygen and his thoughts before straightening up his posture and his robes, “I was assigned extra things and that made getting off later and- I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting that to happen.” He could tell that she had been waiting for a long time, even when he ran to her he could see her pacing which meant he probably owed her a bigger apology than just a reason. “How are you, this evening..? Besides, probably annoyed for having to wait so long…”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle was seriously under the impression that Hugo wasn’t coming. If she was being honest with herself she could see no reason why he would risk meeting with her so often anyway. When they were caught… IF they were caught, well she would get a slap on the wrist, maybe an owl home. But he… well she didn’t even want to think of what would happen to him. Maybe he would just get expelled. Maybe not. Maybe it would be much, much worse. She breathed in sharply through her nose, there was no way for her to know, not really. All she could hope was they were never caught.

Michelle shifted again on the bench, panicking and talking herself in and out of staying any later. There was no way he would be able to make it out, she was being silly. Just at that moment she heard pounding footsteps rushing toward her. This is it, she thought, they’ve found out, we’re done. She got up from the bench resignedly, but the footsteps didn’t slow. She looked up sharply just in time to see Hugo’s face inches from her own.

“Oh!” Michelle exclaimed in surprise delight, “Hugo! I’m- I’m glad you made it!” She was painfully aware of how close their faces were due to him stopping suddenly and tried to take a step back, forgetting the bench behind her. The back of her knee it the edge of the seat and gave way, making her sit down hard on the unforgiving stone. “Ouch.” She rubbed her bottom, wincing as she replied, “No! I was just worried! You know… anything might have happened. We’ve never used Lily before and I was afraid she might have told someone or someone caught her…. I don’t know. I’m just glad you’re here.” She smiled again.

“So are you ready to get started? I’ll be honest I have no idea what Adrian did with his time on a daily basis. I know we were close but whenever he slipped off I didn’t get a tracker to list off his movements. Do you have any ideas on where Rose went?”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

{Treasure Hunt}

It had taken Michelle far to long to follow through on this. It wasn’t totally her fault, she reminded herself as she paced in front of the bench. There had been homework, and she had to keep up with her reading, and of course there had been the quiddich match. Okay, she’d admit that the last excuse was a bit of a stretch. But it wasn’t like Hugo had come out of his way to mention a time either.

That last thought made her bit her lip, it wasn’t fair of her to put an equal burden of responciblilty on Hugo. That’s just not how things worked. She had to be the one to make the plans, she had to follow through. And she had, afterall. She got Lily alone and convinced her to take a note to Hugo, despite how much she clearly hated Michelle she took it.

Though, Michelle stopped pacing for a second and sank down onto the bench, a sickening thought coming to her mind all at once, maybe she hadn’t given it to Hugo after all. Maybe she just burned it up or laughed about it or even showed it to a teacher. Or maybe she was holding it for blackmail. Each successive idea made Michelle’s stomach drop even further. She should just leave, he was late already, he’s not coming.

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

“Yes I did just moan. This must be the best cake I’ve had in years. A girl is allowed to appreciate the wonders of a well crafted dessert you know.”

[ophidian-and-blossom]

[albusfreakingpotter-blog]

“In your defense, tea can be quite difficult at times,” he offered. He watched her as she seemed to be questioning what he’d said, how he knew, and he wondered if it was worth telling her or not. He liked that she didn’t know it had been him, but at the same time, he didn’t want her beating herself up over it.  Of course, there was always a chance she had a Servus after him that she had treated worse, but he somehow doubted that. “He turned eleven and went to Hogwarts. You have a surprisingly large closet so it could have been worse. And after very minimal counseling, there was absolutely no lasting damage. Though I’m offended I didn’t make more of a lasting impression on yourback then,” he grinned, clearly having gotten over everything that had happened. If anything, it had made him better prepared for Hogwarts. 

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle rolled her eyes, “You don’t have to tell me twice. The number of days I went under a silencio charm due to poor tea techniques is embarrassing to say the least!” She shook her head remembering all her failed attempts at becoming a good pureblood lady under her mother’s supervision. Most failed attempts resulted in a day without speech so Michelle learned how to cope without it, which was an outcome Mrs. Pucey hadn’t been expecting. At first Michelle just was unsure if Albus was teasing her or not but as he spoke her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. All of the sudden all these small pieces about her childhood seemed to fall into place, the sudden change in the servus, the boy who looked so familiar she couldn’t place it. Now it was all flooding back, the screaming fits, the nasty demands, the games (not that the games were bad but no one likes to be told what to do all the time when playing) everything. “It was you,” Michelle breathed.

[headboyteddyblack-blog]

Teddy smiled, “Oh, you know, he likes to put butter and jelly on his scones. It’s appalling to watch.” Teddy said quickly, knowing that picking on the servus probably shouldn’t be his first remark on his cousin’s behavior. He grinned at her, “Definitely objectively. Though I may have more of an insider’s perspective than anything.”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle laughed, “How could I have survived without that information.” She shrugged, she couldn’t tell how much Teddy would actually be willing to tell her anyway, but Teddy’s history itself was always interesting for her. “Oh right, your perspective is very up close in personal. You two lived together for a few years, right?”

[daisydursley-blog]

Daisy did not know what to make of Michelle’s enthusiasm. Thinking back to when she had made the request for the painting she could have sworn that the brunette had only requested it to have something to say. Daisy had not minded then, she was glad for it. She needed the supplies and she always loved to paint– the reason for why never mattered. Although sometimes it did alter the quality of her work. This time however, it did not hinder Daisy’s creativity in the slightest. Once she had dipped her brush in red paint, she had not stopped. Her enthusiasm for this painting had been through the roof.

Carefully, as not to uncover the painting before she was ready, Daisy brought the large rectangular canvas in front of her. She tapped her fingers onto the material nervously, trying to find something to say that would warn the girl before she uncovered it. “I’m sorry,” were the only words Daisy could think of in that moment. After having said those two words, she realised that they were sincere. She was sorry. She was sorry for having made her wait to see a painting that would only break her heart. With that, Daisy let out the breath she was holding and flipped the white sheet off of the painting.

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle had been uncomfortably aware that she hadn’t given Daisy many instructions on what she wanted, and she feared the lack of instruction would lead to a poor product. Her mother was always telling her that servus needed direct and simple orders for the best results but Michelle had heard of Daisy’s talent and, as she wasn’t an artist in any stretch of the word, had thought it best to let someone with a more artistic brain lead the creation. But Daisy’s hesitation made Michelle worry that she had chosen poorly, so she nodded encouragingly as Daisy removed the sheet.

For a moment, the world stopped. Adrian. She was looking directly at Adrian, his face falling away into rose petals and red, red everywhere. His eyes were so real, so perfectly depicted full of sadness and longing and fear and desire and hope. All wrapped up in a pile of oils and brush strokes that seemed to eat through the canvas. No, Adrian... She wasn’t sure if she said that aloud or not, the whole world seemed to have gone still, holding its breath in a tomb-like stillness. The red of the petals expanded, growing as she stared, swallowing the frame, the chair it rested on then the walls and candles until it blotted out everything into one great crimson stain. And the center, floating as a weird head without a body or soul or hope or single motion was Adrian. The one boy who picked her up when she cried and listened when she told stories, who taught her how to be loving and supportive and showed her what it meant to care. The one who showed her that servus were people, that let her practice spells with his wand in the nursery at night, who was always there whenever Michelle needed him. The one that was gone. Gone, just... gone.

Suddenly the red shattered, bursting into a thousand tiny rose petals that whipped through the air biting her skin and pulling her hair. She tried to scream but she wasn’t sure if she had the strength. Everything seemed caught in a forced stillness, like when her mother would cast silencio on her when she was crying and she was choking on it. Gasping and falling and trying to find purchase in a ground that didn’t exist.  Ever since he left she tried not to think of Rose, how Rose had meant more than his own sister, how he hadn’t told anyone that they were leaving, not even her. He hadn’t trusted her, but he let Rose steal him away and leave her here all alone. How could he just leave me?

Michelle took a deep breath, forcing air back into her lungs. Somehow she had fallen on the floor, and she was breathing heavily, though she didn’t know why. She looked up, staring accusatory at Daisy, “H- how.... how could you?” Her voice was a shaky whisper barely being choked out between breaths.

[lorgannott]

“Are you implying that you have read thousands of years of books? How confident in your readings.” his deadpan tone rang through the room, indifferent but vaguely defying as he found Michelle to be obnoxious in more than one way. “I need a book. You can make any other stops you think are necessary, but for me, it’ll be just the library for today.”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle’s forehead crinkled in confusion, “Not at all. It was more of a joke than anything. I like to think that I could one day read all the books somewhere, at least in my family’s library. But I doubt that will ever happen. It’s just a pipe-dream.” His tone confused her, he had asked her to go and now he seemed irritated at her presence. She wasn’t about to ask him anything particular on the subject however, “Okay, sounds good. I’m ready to leave whenever.”

[dante-kitchenboy-blog]

Nothing exciting is happening, this got Maya into thinking - maybe having war on their hands might be a good thing. something to keep them entertain until of course they win again. “Nothing, just my routine schedule.” She looked into her fellow prefect’s eyes, “Aren’t you experimenting or researching about how spells affect the things around them when casted?” She asked as she had briefly heard about how Michelle was quite the mad genius.

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[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle’s eyes glittered at the question, “I was actually! It took a turn for the worst recently when I set the room on fire but I think I have it under control now. I just need a servus to do the body bind on. I think there’s a way to bind objects the way we bind people, but I need to observe the effects next to each other.”

[albusfreakingpotter-blog]

If anyone knew anything about having eyes on them, Albus did. Not only was her a Servus but a blood Potter. And the Potter who looked exactly like his bloody dad - so he understood the want to not have unnecessary attention thrown his way. “Nah, if you’re a prefect, it’s because they saw something in you - an ability to lead. They trust you, and thats pretty cool,” he said with a small shrug. Of course, there were plenty of people currently in power who did nothing but abuse it, but Michelle had never seemed like that type of person. “Exactly. You were nine. Stop stressing so much about it,” he said as he nudged her gently. “You’re nothing like how you were. Or I assume. And that’s brilliant. You can’t keep beating yourself up over how you were as a kid; it’s a waste of time.”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle laughed, “That’s a big honor, considering I don’t even trust myself with a pot of tea.” She didn’t think she was awful at being a prefect but Michelle was bad at receiving compliments and always felt they were unjustified when given. She didn’t even realize she was refuting them, it just felt like what you were supposed to do after being complimented. At Albus’ comment, Michelle raised her head, surprised. “How... Did you...” Michelle shook her head, there was no way they would have made a kid serve her. She remembered her servus being young, but it wasn’t always the same one. She doubted Albus was there. “Never mind. Sorry. It’s in the past. I just wish I knew what happened to him.”

[victweasley]

“The bad squirrels do bad things, the good squirrels just believe they are funny.” Victoire answered bluntly, now focused on sorting the pills one at once, meticulously, but in a weird rhythm, without realizing what Michelle’s question was referring to. “I will get these in order, I promise.” she nodded for herself, wholeheartedly. She had already forgotten the incident between her and Michelle, although an encounter like that with Robert Pucey’s sister should have meant more. Except Victoire didn’t make the connections. 

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle sighed, talking to someone this far gone was going to be a challenge, no matter what. There was nothing she could do except try, “Is that... your candy? Do you ever... eat them?” She glanced down at the pills. Michelle had spent a small portion of her childhood where her mother thought she was insane and gave her pills to “fix it” but she had been very young. At first glance the pills didn’t seem familiar but it had been a long time ago and she couldn’t be certain. Either way, those pills didn’t look like they were just for a cold. “Where are you going to take them Victorie? What are they for?”

[lonelypsychoticgirl]

[ophidian-and-blossom]

[albusfreakingpotter-blog]

“Everyone has baggage. You wear yours a little more on the outside than most. That’s not a bad thing. You’re clever and smart and surprisingly empathetic. Clearly the school is glad to have you or else you wouldn’t have been made Prefect,” he said, using factual evidence to back him up after his own opinions earlier were shot down so easily. “And if your family’s glad you’re out of the house…that’s their bloody loss, yeah? Like I said - you’re always welcome to a Potter dinner,” he said with a smile. Though he’d probably have to sedate his siblings. But his parents would probably be okay with it. “If there were more protocols, I can’t imagine they’d be hard to get past with some magic. Servus don’t know much so the protections wouldn’t have to be very severe,” he pointed out. He frowned slightly when she was still upset up what she’d done. And it hurt slightly that she didn’t remember him but it wasn’t like he didn’t already known that. “I’m sure people told you before that. Servus, probably. It took hearing it from someone you loved and trusted for it to really sink in. And that’s okay because it clearly did. You’re forgiven,” he said softly. “Everyone deserves forgiveness.”

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

Michelle shrugged, “True, but I still didn’t want to be here the first few years. So many eyes on you all the time.” She tilted her head, “I always thought I was a prefect so they could get me to leave the library once in a while,” Michelle laughed. “Perhaps one day I’ll take you up on that.” She couldn’t imagine a world where that would be a safe thing to do but the offer was sweet none the less and she wanted to be sure that Albus knew she appreciated that. “Perhaps....” Michelle let the subject drop, eager to search later for any possibility that Adrian had done the same but afraid to let Albus know what her intention was. “Maybe but I was only 9, I don’t know if I would have really understood if someone told me straight out. I needed the example...” His apology made her shiver for a second, as if some great worry in her heart was relieved, though she couldn’t find the source. “I don’t know about that, but thank you...” Her voice was quiet, the idea of her younger self still bothered her but the past couldn’t disappear, no matter how hard she tried.

[dante-kitchenboy-blog]

“Those low life mudbloods just want things back to the way it was.” Maya refereed to the servus. She does not understand why they would want things to be disorganized again, “I really wonder what is going on their heads.” She said shaking her head. “So how is fifth year treating you?” She asked.

[madnessofmichelle-blog]

“Progress is progress. Wishing things to be back the way they were is just a waste of time.” Michelle shrugged, “I couldn’t say that anything exciting is happening at all. You?”