DUBOSI

I’m more active on twitter after the purge, so go find me there as madramaut! Fallen off the deep end with McHanzo and Overwatch, so don't expect me to focus on much else right now. I mostly post my art, fandom/aesthetic stuff and music. This blog may occasionally contain NSFW content and will be tagged as such. Please don't tag my art as kin.

[gravegroves]

Commission for @platypanthewriter for their Harringrove AU fic Baby's First Punk Rock Concert in which Billy pulls Will out of a tight spot at a Homocore concert and meets Steve when he comes to pick Will up.

(Close-ups because I hate drawing hands and when I do they need to be appreciated + Will got a slightly less bad haircut)

[gravegroves]

So... Billy, huh?

[finalgirlwillbyers]

I hope people know it’s intentional that the demogorgon takes people once they’re hurt, once it can sense their open, bleeding wounds. that nancy has sex with steve while barb is being killed, due to an unfortunate cut on her hand.

it’s intentional the only characters taken by the mind flayer, will and later billy, are the ones to be accused and berated by their abusive fathers for seeming gay. and that the mind flayer slowly but steadily deteriorates their minds and bodies, till they’re feverish and near-incoherent. that the doctors so easily resign and tell joyce that her son is a goner, but that will’s friends and family don’t accept that and do everything to stay by his side, reminding him of who he is, who he was before his body was taken by this invisible antagonist.

it’s intentional that the season three mind flayer is made up of dozens of people all melting together, sweaty and gaunt from fever. that their deaths are blamed on ‘satanism’ and ‘sin permeating the heart of america’. that their families are never given the truth, closure, or justice. 

many aspects of stranger things are up for debate, but I truly believe this is the strongest piece of subtext the show has to offer.

tldr;

[madramaut]

I love this take to so much! It does seem to fit perfectly and in some ways I wish this really is what the monster represents, if only because a show like that would have to do a good job of representation, right?

And that's where the problem lies. The issue I have with accepting that theory as truth, is that by doing so I would have to credit the Duffer brothers with putting this much thought and care into a LGBTQ+ theme that I honestly don't think them capable of producing.

Considering that they've written two characters who are accused of being gay by their fathers and neither of them canonically are (fandom likes to extrapolate and try to find representation where there is none or where it has been accidentally put and this is definitely due to being under-represented in all forms of media, but it doesn't change the fact that the characters aren't gay in canon) or that the original idea had been for Robin and Steve to get together and Maya Hawke had to practically beg for them to make Robin a lesbian is as good as proof that the Duffers aren't in the SLIGHTEST thinking about representing LGBTQ+ people or issues related to them when they're writing. To think that they could build a show around an AIDS metaphor, but only have an unplanned LGTBQ+ character appear in season 3 (and not even a gay man, at that, the worst affected group by far in the 80's)... I just don't see it.

Your theory fits so perfectly into this that I really wish it was true, but we all know that the best LGBTQ+ content we get is the content we make ourselves. Which is why it's totally valid to take Will's reluctance to get a girlfriend and headcanon him as ace or gay or both, or to look at Billy Hargrove who is queer coded in quite a lot of ways (as straight people love to do to villains) and think, oh yeah, definitely gay. But for the love of everything good, do not credit the Duffer brothers with this much care or thought or intent.

They don't deserve it.

[madramaut]

This past half a year has been extremely difficult for me. I’ve felt so low at times, experienced a great loss and had to deal with so many things that eventually the pressure became too much and I completely imploded. Despite the long list of things that weigh heavy on me, I think the biggest blow to my sense of well-being was when my desire to draw completely shrivelled up and died, leaving me without even that one love of mine to help carry me through hard times as it has in the past.

I’m still burned out. I still wake up sometimes and wish I could just stay in bed all day and never deal with anyone or anything ever again. So I’m posting some of my favourite pieces to hopefully kickstart something inside of me to pick up a pen again and to remind myself that I can, at times, create something worth looking at.

[madramaut]

It’s been a while since I posted this, but things are getting better. Thank you all who posted such kind and supportive comments (on this post or privately). You’re all so sweet.

[destatihayati]

I worry that we’re not talking enough about this Netflix-commissioned comic-style Joe-Nicky poster drawn by Brian Stelfreeze.

Take a good look at their faces.

The artist CLEARLY took both expressions DIRECTLY from the van scene. This is literally the moment after Joe says ‘more’ and right before Nicky says ‘incurable romantic’ it’s THAT SPECIFIC.

This is a gorgeous promotional pic for an action movie that is Gay As Fuck.

AND IT’S COMMISSIONED BY THE STUDIO.

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[distinguishedkingdomwolf]

Enemies to lovers speed run

[tyrannusimons]

[incorrect-clexa]

Hey folks, this is not your typical post about incorrect quotes.

I want to address a serious issue today, and most of you probably know what’s been going on in the US.

The killing of George Floyd started another serious and necessary debate on Police brutality in the states. (And I think not just there. Every country is affected in some way or another.)

My heart doesn’t ache, no. My heart is bleeding and crying out of pain about what has been going on for days now. What people have been going through for years and years. This is not the first case of police brutality against POC, nor the second, and it probably isn’t the last one.

It happened so many times already that I can’t count them all. Our world has lost so many beautiful souls to this never-ending issue. Additionally to this, we lost so many brothers and sisters of color who were part of the LGBTQ+ community too. Even though it is pride month, I can’t enjoy and celebrate it as much as I want to.

But now is the time to act. Now more than ever! We all have a voice, and I’m sure as hell using mine. And I want you to do the same.

40 Ways you can help right now shows you different techniques and approaches to support the #blacklivesmatter movement in various forms.

Everyone’s able to do something. Even if you don’t have the money to donate, or you’re not from the US, share articles, draw attention to it in some way. Being silent about this puts you on the side of the offenders.

I understand that I will never understand. However, I stand with all of you!!! Credit goes to @sfbucketlist on instagram for these 40 ways you can help right now.

[daydream-ings-deactivated202010]

WAYS TO SUPPORT/BE AN ALLY

Here is a compilation of places to donate (IF you can, simply reblogging and sharing this can help) and petition to sign. I found these websites and organizations on twitter.

DONATIONS

THE MINNESOTA  FREEDOM FUND: Donate to this to collect funds to pay jail bonds for the protesters who get arrested.

BLACK LIVES MATTER: An organization fighting for the BLM movement. Donate if you can. 

BLACK VISIONS MN: an organization that is led by Black, Queer and Trans people. Donate if you can.

NAACP Legal Defense Fund: Fights for the overall equality fight. Donate if you can.

PETITIONS

Willie Simmons has spent 38 years in prison for a $9 robbery. He had two prior convictions similar to robbery that he served time for. He was prosecuted under the Alabama Habitual Offender law and was given a life sentence for his third strike - stealing 9 (NINE) dollars. Sign his petition. 

Breonna Taylor was killed by police who were conducting an UNANNOUNCED drug raid, where they gave no request to enter. They bashed her door and entered, shooting her EIGHT times. They were in the WRONG HOUSE. 

George Floyd was killed by a police officer who knelt on his neck and suffocated him to death, after George pleaded with the officer and told him he couldn’t breathe. The officer had pulled him from where he sat in his car on an alleged FORGERY. You can also text “FLOYD” to 55156

ARREST THE OFFICERS WHO KILLED GEORGE FLOYD: The main police officer who murdered George is being kept in PROTECTIVE CUSTODY. You probably have heard he was arrested, but this is NOT TRUE. He was placed under PROTECTIVE custody because of the riots and “threats” on his life. 

If you know of ANY other organizations or petitions, PLEASE ADD TO THIS LIST. The fight for justice doesn’t end here, it will never end. Especially when the president of the United States calls white supremacists good people and protesters of a mans death THUGS. USE YOUR VOICE. NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE. FUCK COPS. FUCK “BLUE LIVES”. ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER!

[waveridden]

the minnesota freedom fund is asking folks to donate to other organizations instead. the specific ones they listed are black visions, linked above, and these two:

northstar health collective, organized healthcare professionals working with anti-authoritarian groups

reclaim the block, a collective that aims to redistribute funding away from police and towards more community-oriented projects in minneapolis

these are the links i send to my facebook friends who keep running their mouths about “the protests hurting the community”

minnehaha food shelf & calvary church food shelf are both centered in the south minneapolis area where the riots started. the grocery stores in the area have been decimated, so food shelves and food insecurity charities need a lot of love right now.

northside funders group is a philanthropic group in the twin cities that’s using all its funds right now for helping local businesses

migizi is a native american media/history nonprofit whose office was destroyed in the riots

we love lake street is devoting funds specifically towards rebuilding the lake street area in south minneapolis

some more groups that could use your help

the healing justice foundation is a national nonprofit that’s specifically focusing on mental health resources for bipoc right now

ctul is a nonprofit focused on low-wage workers and workers rights in minnesota

mpd 150 is focused on policing and specifically trying to reroute the conversation from “we need to change police procedures” to “the police need structural reform”

the spiral collective is providing funds for supplies, medic kits, and other things that protesters will need on the ground

unicorn riot is a media collective that has had people on the ground filming every night in minneapolis

community justice national exchange has a list of bail funds in the whole country - these are NOT protest specific but you can always take a look and see what’s in your area

if you want protest-specific bail funds

columbus

brooklyn

houston

louisville

atlanta

detroit

[wyntera]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

A Reddie HitmanAU, now available on AO3! Lots of murder and mayhem, and that’s before we bring guns into the mix! Happy reading <3

[samh0und]

reblogs appreciated! ♥

ko-fi - please remember to MESSAGE ME on here or twitter if you’ve donated and want nsfw links!

[thenatsdorf]

[madam-secret-goat]

[injuries-in-dust]

Is this how you get a cat?

I’ve been doing it wrong all my life!

[suckonnails]

For any of ya’ll who are still well in the IT fandom as of 2020, please reblog this. I need reassurance that not everyone is gone.

[daebom]

( insp. )

[lotsofflailing-deactivated20200]

here’s your biweekly reminder that i love ao3 so much, not just as a platform for fanfiction and fanart but for what it represents: fans working together to create a space just for themselves. and it’s so good??? it’s fantastic??? the design is so clean and simple and there’s no ads and they politely ask for you to donate and if you say no that’s fine and a large part of their staff is volunteers and they give you updates as a little banner on top and it’s just good?? like it’s the only website i can think of that feels genuinely Good and Friendly to me and that’s wonderful.

[unabashedlyseveresandwich]

If you are an adult who identifies with the concept of Gifted Kid Syndrome and:

You have an unusually intense reaction to the concept of rejection, whether personal, professional, or academic

You have consistent trouble meeting deadlines

You have big dreams and ambitions that are completely achievable, but you consistently can’t take steps toward achieving them and you don’t know why

You procrastinate, like a lot

You like video games, like a lot

You switch seemingly at random between binge watching your favorite shows for absurd lengths of time or not being able to sit down and focus on them unless you’re doing something else at the same time

You cannot for the life of you keep your living area clean and organized

You struggle with substance dependencies, whether with alcohol, tobacco, weed, harder drugs, or even just caffeine

You struggle with texting/calling/emailing back, even for people you care about deeply and/or even for important deadlines

Please, please, please consider seeking out an ADHD evaluation.

I’m not a psychiatrist or any kind of a medical professional, but personally I can’t help but notice how many elements of what I was perceiving as personal failures before my diagnosis stem directly from my executive dysfunction. Meds and an adequate support system can make a world of difference!

Just some advice from your friendly neighborhood nonbinary-mom-friend blogger!

[leesacrakon]

...these are all seriously signs of ADHD?

You’re kidding

[sunrisingblue]

Not even a little bit.

[madramaut]

I’m a big sceptic when it comes to self-diagnosis, but this gave me pause for the fact that I have ALL of these and they have, at times, made it extremely difficult to cope with my daily life. I’ve always been worried that I was lazy or just a fucking failure.

Looks like I’m going to my doctor. Fuck.

[mylordshesacactus]

Please make a post about the story of the RMS Carpathia, because it's something that's almost beyond belief and more people should know about it.

Carpathia received Titanic’s distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.

(Californian’s exact position at the time is…controversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanic’s distress rockets. It’s uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)

Carpathia’s Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanic’s aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.

All of Carpathia’s lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her. He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.

I don’t know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.

Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out. By this time, many of the passengers were awake–prepping a ship for disaster relief isn’t quiet–and all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.

And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.

Here’s the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining rooms–which, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors. He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when she’d done that, he asked her to go faster.

I need you to understand that you simply can’t push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only reckless–it’s difficult to maneuver–but it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They can’t do it. It can’t be done.

Carpathia’s absolute do-or-die, the-engines-can’t-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.

No one would have asked this of them. It wasn’t expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a responsibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.

They damn near broke the laws of physics, galloping north headlong into the dark in the desperate hope that if they could shave an hour, half an hour, five minutes off their arrival time, maybe for one more person those five minutes would make the difference. I say: three people had died by the time they were lifted from the lifeboats. For all we know, in another hour it might have been more. I say they made all the difference in the world.

This ship and her crew received a message from a location they could not hope to reach in under four hours. Just barely over three hours later, they arrived at Titanic’s last known coordinates. Half an hour after that, at 4am, they would finally find the first of the lifeboats. it would take until 8:30 in the morning for the last survivor to be brought onboard. Passengers from Carpathia universally gave up their berths, staterooms, and clothing to the survivors, assisting the crew at every turn and sitting with the sobbing rescuees to offer whatever comfort they could.

In total, 705 people of Titanic’s original 2208 were brought onto Carpathia alive. No other ship would find survivors.

At 12:20am April 15th, 1912, there was a miracle on the North Atlantic. And it happened because a group of humans, some of them strangers, many of them only passengers on a small and unimpressive steam liner, looked at each other and decided: I cannot live with myself if I do anything less.

I think the least we can do is remember them for it.

[mylordshesacactus]

I can’t begin to describe how happy and flattered and a little teary I am that this just broke 100k.

I may be the actual only human being on Tumblr with a post this popular that I not only don’t regret making, but am actually HAPPY whenever I notice a surge in its circulation. 

I never intended this to gain any traction at all (you’ll notice there’s no sources or anything–this was a personal ramble, prompted in good humor by a friend after I jokingly said that I wished someone would give me an excuse to cry about Carpathia on Tumblr so I could get it out of my system.) I literally expected to get, like, maybe 20 likes and a reblog, from friends, indulging me in my nonsense.

It just….means a lot to me that it’s touched so many people. I see a lot of tags to the effect of “HOW DARE YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS AND MAKE ME CRY ABOUT A BOAT” that are often really funny, but overwhelmingly the tags on this post are from people saving it for a rainy day, or remarking in a sort of quiet awe that they never even really thought about her role in the story–and God knows I never did, I learned it by complete accident much as most of the people who’ve found this post. 

And so many of you guys are taking strength and reassurance from the reminder not only that people are capable of amazing things together, but simply that kindness matters and that a simple, tiny act of compassion is never wasted. I’m just really glad to have been able to do that for some folks.

If I can just add one personal note. I need to emphasize something I only touched on in the original post.

I need to emphasize that Carpathia failed.

A lot of the tags and comments have a tinge of…despair, or guilt, or wistfulness about things like this happening so rarely. Or inadequacy, or just being overwhelmed or unhappy about not being in a position to step up in a comparable way. And I want to gently bring up the fact that this is still the sinking of the Titanic. 

They did not get there in time. They did not save the ship. It can be argued that they may not even have saved a single life; we have no way of knowing. This was still a horrific maritime disaster mired in arrogance and incompetence and a lack of care.

If the response to this story shows anything, it shows this: It matters that they tried. 

Even though they got there too late, even though the ship still sank. It matters that they tried. The difference between making the best reasonable speed after confirming the seriousness of the situation, and the miracle they pulled off–it matters. It makes all the difference. Even if it made no difference at all. Not one of you read this and concluded that I was stupid for caring so much when the Titanic still sank and all those people still died.

You don’t have to fix the world. You’ll likely be cold and sick and miserable and testy and scared, and unprepared, and in over your head, and entirely too small to be of any real use. It feels stupid, passing out blankets and coffee in the middle of an ice field knowing what just happened. It’s hard to feel anything but useless when all you can do is tap a wireless transmitter and promise help that you know will come too late.

It matters that they fought for those people. It matters that they cared, and it matters that they tried. It matters that they didn’t stop. If it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t have read this far.