Donât look frightened, donât look at your feet. Donât stop, donât make eye contact with anyone. I wonder how long it would take me to find my knife in my purse. Why didnât I put it in my pocket? Wrap your fingers around your keys. Hold on tight. Donât make too much noise. Be silent. My mother always told me to walk quickly and with intention. The number one place women are attacked or abducted is grocery store parking lots. I wonder if I look as afraid as I feel, and I hope I do not. Number two is office parking garages. I hope that I am capable of making myself feel powerful. I have been trying hard to cultivate strength. Number three is public restrooms. I hope that one day this paranoia might become unnecessary. I hope that one night I can walk alone and feel like I am free. My mother was not attacked by a stranger, but by someone she knew and loved very much. Maybe Iâm just holding grudges, but I donât think I will ever see a man walking toward me in the dark and not think DANGER. Maybe Iâm just naive, but I donât think I will ever stop asking how this is fair. Maybe Iâm just tired. Maybe Iâm just fucking furious. Maybe I am clenching my fists because they are my only weapons, maybe it is not just a coping mechanism anymore.
Things I Am Thinking About While I Walk To My Car At Night After Work, Heather Elise
I wrote this awhile ago but it seems relevant now.
Me too.










