I’m a mess - I’m lucky that I have such amazing friends because I wouldn’t have been able to do that vet-visit alone. I would have walked into traffic afterwards. Sarah, Matthew and I drove to the vet’s office. Momdog came out looking swollen, shaved and painful, but incredibly happy to see us. Her tail was wagging. Her ears perked up. Teetering on her pain-killers, we took her outdoors….. We found a sunny spot outdoors in a patch of grass and we loved-on-her for a half hour. We told her how amazing her life has been and how many people she has touched. How her existence changed our lives immensely. She sprawled out on the grass and put her head in my lap and closed her eyes…. I knew that she understood. Not the words, but she felt the love…..
Matthew spooned her on the vet-office floor while the vet administered the Euthanasia. I was petting her face when her heart stopped beating. It was quiet and peaceful……. After she passed and she was no longer in pain, I scooped her into my lap and held her close like I have always done …..
I think that when most people think of dogs - They think of toy chewing, stick chasing, pet-like-animals. Momdog wasn’t that kind of dog. She was soulful. She could read your emotions by simple body language - We were bonded - Relationships came and went, but her and I were always together - My heart would break into pieces but she was always there to make it better (and she wanted to be) - I’ve wanted to kill myself and she was the only thing that kept me here - We adventured together. We traveled together. We hiked together. We shared a bed at night - We took care of each other - I cried into that beautiful scruffy neck of hers far more times than I have cried into another humans…..Â
And……. that’s exactly what I did at the vet’s office….. Everyone left the room and I pulled her dead body into my lap and I just cried into her beautiful scruffy neck….
I’m not going to OK for a very long time - I would have given just about everything in my life to keep her around for a few more yearsÂ
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