The Perks of Being Hazel Grace

“She understood the world and her place in it. She understood nothing. The world and her place in it were nothing and she understood that.”

[ghostclvb]

Me as a medieval villager standing in the town square crying to any passerby that will lend an ear that local bard and musician hozier is a witch who puts dark magic in his songs and uses music to strike horniness in the hearts of innocent and god-fearing townsfolk

[carolsturka]

[yellow-cat]

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

[imdrinkingmiso]

they hate me because the years of memory loss has purified my mind

[maginikki]

[gwennkoi]

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

[lleyksie]

more ancient horse mamaposting

[imjunebitch]

i did try keeping a diary for awhile but one-time I looked at an entry and it was just "IDONTWANTTOBEALONEANYMORE" written over and over again like a fucking horror movie and the entry right before was like "I made soupe today yay!" so I am like the worst diary keeper ever

[eddies-ashtray]

luv how male animals gotta fucking dance around and cry and shit for female attention and sex. and then men irl complain about fat women and body hair like get on ur fucking knees and beg me actually

[eddies-ashtray]

like these tarantulas dude?? the male has to tap out a rhythm she likes and if she doesn’t?? she’ll literally eat him.

[caustic-light]

Alpha males: "This is nature. You don't see animals acting like queers don't you?"

90% of nature documentaries: "Until now the female has been very impressed by the males drag performance of Orwell's Homage To Catalonia, soundtracked exclusively by Maria Carey songs. A demanding performance like that knows to impress. But... Oh No... One note in the final tune was one cent flat. It doesn't look good for the male now. She is ordering an orbital laser strike to burn his beautifully groomed plumage from space. It will take all year to regrow, effectively ending this one's mating season early. Better luck next time, little guy. Women are a tough audience."

[anistarrose]

my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell

[toastbutteregg]

[sylviii]

“she’s got legs for days” pfffft not impressive. i;ve had mine for years

[neverendingmidnightsun]

how do you guys vocalize the punchline semicolon silly-punctuation I always imagine it’s a teenage boy voice crack

[maginikki]

RIP Sims

[spidersinmysoup]

"You snooze you lose" anti nap propaganda, changing it to "you snooze yaaaaayyyyyy yippeeeee"

[bunniope]

i laced your joint with A Knight's Honor

[telltaletypist]

weirdest part of being an adult is the fact that you can put off watching a movie for nearly a decade and barely notice