Just Some Nonsense

[mainlyapples]

I maintain 2 is the correct response if I'm at the bus stop and this person is boring the life about me about their family. Context is important.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“Can’t counterspell a knife, bitch!”

— Rogue

[mainlyapples]

ME: [peacefully drifting off to sleep]

MY BRAIN: Is vegetarian chili "chili sin carne"?

[mainlyapples]

Pixelcorn

This is Pixelcorn. Contrary to what folklorists would have us believe, unicorns are not graceful, majestic beasts. Unicorns are bad-tempered, hairy and short. Like one of those Icelandic horses, but without any of the social graces.

Unicorns will steal your lunch out of your backpack, even though they don't intend to eat it, or particularly want it.

[mainlyapples]

I made my FFXIV character into a pixel sprite. Because I can.

[mainlyapples]

Why? Is it missing?

I suppose there are situations where you would ask this. I just seems like a bit of an odd way of putting it in English, devoid of context.

[mainlyapples]

Physical therapists are like:

Does that hurt?

Then look disappointed when you say "no".

[mainlyapples]

I quite like hardcore dance music, but if I have to listen to one more song that is just samples of horror-movie dialogue over a monotonous bass line, I am going to start taking hostages.

[mainlyapples]

Do you ever feel like we're all just being trolled by Duolingo?

[concerningduolingo]

[mainlyapples]

Presumably this is a common topic of conversation in France.

[thecollectibles]

Art by Aobo Wang

[mainlyapples]

So pretty @_@

[mainlyapples]

Oh no. I got relegated from the top ten on Duolingo. Now I'll never get to hang out at Duo's penthouse and go swimming in a big pool full of lingots.

[mainlyapples]

Um, that actually sounds kind of serious. Maybe we should get him some medical attention or something? I mean, we're out here in the frozen wastes of Coerthas fighting dragons and shit.

[mainlyapples]

How today is going

ME: OK laptop, I've lost my phone somewhere in the house, so you're going to have to play my music while I exercise.

LAPTOP: OK.

ME: Headphones, can you connect to laptop?

HEADPHONES: I connected to your phone.

ME: No, connect to the laptop.

HEADPHONES: PHONE!

ME: TV, can you help me out?

TV: Sure! You can log into YouTube Music on my browser!

ME: Wonderful!

TV: You'll just need to verify your account on your phone.

ME: [screaming]

TV: Would you like to download the new version of Steam?

ME: No. Die in fire.

[mainlyapples]

It's weird watching young people fetishize the 1990s when some of us are legit still getting over living through them.

[mainlyapples]

ME: So what documents do you need for my business?

TAX AGENT: Everything.

ME: [dutifully uploads that picture of the farting unicorn that I considered selling as a T-shirt design]

[mainlyapples]

Mass of Snakes Posing as a Charlatan Tabletop Miniature

Product Details 3D Printed - Resin Printer Specifications - Printed From Elegoo Water Washable Resin on the Anycubic Photon Mono X Model Dim

This company sells such oddly specific miniatures, and I am here for it. Perhaps I'll make stats for a Mass of Snakes Posing as a Charlatan and inflict it on my D&D players. As though the Rampaging Stove, Elderbrain Pseudodragon Possums, and immortal farting bear weren't bad enough. NOTE: I am not affiliated with Questbourne in any way. I just kind of want a Mass of Snakes Posing as a Charlatan miniature now.