SYPNOSIS : in which…the guys thought it would be funny to play a little prank on you, not knowing you hadn’t completely healed from the way they used to treat you before debuting.
WARNINGS : angst, hurt/no comfort, AllDay Project mentioned.
you had been excited the entire way back to the dorm. seeing the allday project members again after two whole months felt unreal. it had only been two months but it somehow felt longer. maybe because everything had changed so much since then. schedules had gotten busier. promotions had started. everyone was running around nonstop. there was barely enough time to sleep sometimes. so finally seeing them again felt like finally being able to breathe after holding your breath for weeks.
the second you had spotted them you practically sprinted across the room. they barely even had time to react before you launched yourself at them. everyone immediately started laughing while trying not to fall over from the force of your hug. they all wrapped their arms around you anyway. teasing you for being dramatic while simultaneously refusing to let go of you.
you spent hours talking after that. talking about training days. talking about dorm stories. talking about embarrassing moments. talking about debut preparations. talking about absolutely everything and absolutely nothing at the same time.
every time someone brought up a memory another person would interrupt with an even funnier story and somehow all of you ended up crying from laughter more than once.
by the time you left your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
the entire ride home was spent replaying everything in your head. you couldn’t wait to tell the others. they always listened whenever you got excited about something. even if they acted annoyed. even if they interrupted every five seconds. they always listened.
meanwhile back at the dorm the living room was complete chaos.
everyone was sprawled across the couches. keonho was half laying across martin. martin was loudly complaining about it. juhoon was trying to watch something on his phone while seonghyeon continuously poked his shoulder just to annoy him. james sat nearby looking exhausted as usual.
then keonho suddenly sat up. “hey what if we pranked y/n?”
the room immediately went quiet as everyone slowly looked at him.
“prank her how?” james asked.
keonho shrugged. “i don’t know. just prank her. all i ever see her do is glare at us. she needs a little laugh.”
that immediately sparked interest.
martin suggested hiding all your shoes.
juhoon suggested replacing your shampoo with nair.
seonghyeon suggested putting googly eyes on everything you owned.
none of those ideas lasted more than five seconds before getting shut down.
then seonghyeon spoke again. “what if we ignore her?”
the room immediately erupted with agreement but keonho looked unsure.
“i don’t think that’s gonna be funny though.” he muttered.
“it’ll be funny when she realizes it’s a prank.”
after several minutes of arguing they somehow settled on it.
james already looked guilty. “guys maybe we shouldn’t.”
“i don’t think she’ll like it.”
“it’s gonna last like ten minutes.”
james sighed. he had a feeling this wasn’t going to end well.
almost an hour later the front door finally opened. everyone immediately grabbed their phones. their acting skills were terrible but somehow they managed to pull themselves together.
the second you walked inside you practically bounced through the doorway.
“i’m back!” your voice echoed through the dorm.
you blinked. the silence that followed was unsettling.
“hm. did they go out or someth…” your sentence died immediately when you spotted all of them sitting in the living room.
“oh!” you smiled. “you’re here! one sec, i’ll go change and come tell you guys everything.” without waiting for a response you ran toward your room.
the second your door closed everyone released the breath they had been holding. “fuck.” james muttered.
“this already feels mean.”
“it’s been thirty seconds.”
“she looked really happy.”
keonho slowly frowned. “okay maybe today she looked happy.”
for a second nobody said anything, then seonghyeon waved them off. “too late now.”
you changed as fast as humanly possible into a random crop top and james’s old grey sweatpants that had somehow become yours months ago.
you practically ran back into the living room. the smile hadn’t left your face once. you immediately threw yourself onto the couch beside juhoon. “okay so what happened was the second i walked in they saw me and started yelling and then i literally ran over and hugged everyone and then tarzzan almost fell over because apparently i hit him too hard and then we started talking and apparently…”
the words poured out of you nonstop. you were smiling, you laughing, you were gesturing wildly with your hands.
normally by now someone would’ve interrupted you. keonho would’ve asked twenty questions. martin would’ve made fun of you. juhoon would’ve pretended not to care while secretly listening. james would’ve smiled.
someone would’ve reacted.
but there was nothing. you slowly stopped talking.
the silence felt strange as you looked around. everyone was staring at their phones. nobody had even looked up once.
your smile weakened. “…and then…”
nothing. you swallowed. “uh.”
still nothing. “are you guys okay?”
you looked from face to face. nobody acknowledged you.
not even a glance. not even a hum. not even a nod.
your stomach suddenly twisted. “did you fight or something?”
you stared at them. keonho looked annoyed. martin looked uninterested. juhoon looked focused on his phone. james wasn’t even looking in your direction.
your chest suddenly felt tight because you knew this feeling. you knew it far too well.
sometimes entire conversations would happen around you without anyone involving you. you’d always sit there wondering if anyone even noticed you were there.
you hated those memories. you hated them so much and suddenly they all came rushing back at once.
your fingers curled into the fabric of your sweatpants. “okay…”
your voice came out quieter than expected.
you stood up and the knot in your stomach pulled tighter.
maybe they had argued. maybe something happened while you were gone. maybe everyone was in a bad mood.
but that didn’t make sense because they had all been perfectly fine this morning.
you looked at them one last time hoping someone would finally say something, anything, but nobody did, so you slowly turned around and walked back toward your room.
the second your bedroom door closed behind you the smile you’d been carrying all day finally disappeared.
and out in the living room every single one of them immediately looked up.
martin immediately started laughing while keonho buried his face into a pillow and kicked his feet against the couch. seonghyeon looked way too proud of himself and juhoon was trying not to smile.
the only person who didn’t look amused was james. “guys.”
still nobody listened. they were too busy talking over each other.
“she looked so confused.”
“this prank is working way better than i thought.”
“she’s probably sitting in her room trying to figure out what she did.”
james immediately looked up. “exactly. that’s the problem.”
the room quieted slightly. “what?”
“i don’t think she’s laughing.”
“well obviously not yet.”
“no. i mean i genuinely don’t think she’s taking this as a joke.”
keonho waved him off. “she’ll figure it out eventually.”
james frowned. he wanted to believe that, he really did, but something about the way your smile disappeared earlier hadn’t sat right with him.
hours passed and you stayed in your room the entire time.
at first you tried distracting yourself with your phone. then with videos. then with music. then by scrolling through old pictures.
every time you thought about what happened your stomach twisted again.
you kept replaying every interaction from the past few weeks. every conversation. every joke. every disagreement. every possible mistake. had you said something wrong. had you annoyed someone. had you accidentally upset them.
you couldn’t figure it out and that somehow made it worse.
eventually hunger started creeping in. you hadn’t eaten since before meeting the allday project members.
you were starving and fried chicken sounded perfect. the thought alone almost made you smile.
you got up from your bed and headed toward the door.
even if they weren’t talking to you. you should still let them know you were ordering.
maybe someone wanted something. maybe things would finally go back to normal.
you opened the door and immediately froze, listening to everyone arguing in the living room, laughing together and talking over eachother.
the exact same sounds that filled the dorm every single day.
your heart skipped. for a second relief rushed through you because they weren’t upset or fighting and everything was normal.
you quickly stepped farther into the hallway and the smell of food hit you instantly. your stomach growled.
confused, you followed the noise into the kitchen and the second you stepped inside the room your heart dropped straight into your stomach.
everyone was there. all five of them, sitting around the table, eating takeout with drinks and containers everywhere.
the second they noticed you standing there every voice immediately died. everyone looked away.
your stomach twisted so hard it hurt.
for a moment nobody said anything as you stared at the table. fried chicken, rice, ramen, snacks.
they had ordered food and somehow nobody thought to tell you.
“you guys ordered food.” your voice came out small.
everyone hesitated. the silence felt endless. “yeah. why?” seonghyeon finally answered.
the second he spoke your chest tightened, because for a brief moment he sounded exactly like he used to before your debut.
before things got better. before he became one of your closest friends.
back when he barely acknowledged your existence. back when every interaction felt like you were bothering him.
your face immediately lost color. you looked as pale as a ghost.
the room suddenly felt too hot. your hands started shaking. you couldn’t stop them.
this wasn’t happening. it couldn’t be happening.
“did you get me anything?”
nobody answered immediately. everyone exchanged glances. the hesitation was enough.
it was enough to make your stomach sink. it was enough to make your chest ache.
finally juhoon spoke. “well, if you wanted something. you should’ve said so. we can’t really read your mind.”
your ears started ringing.
suddenly you weren’t standing in the dorm kitchen anymore, you were back in those old practice rooms. back when you spent lunch breaks alone because nobody wanted to ask if you wanted to come.
back when entire food orders happened without anyone mentioning them to you. back when you convinced yourself you didn’t care. back when you cried in bathroom stalls where nobody could hear you.
your hands trembled harder and your had gone fully numb. your heartbeat was so loud you could hear it. the knot in your chest kept growing.
what had happened? what did you do? why were they acting like this?
you looked around the table and nobody met your eyes, which somehow that hurt more than if they had yelled at you, because at least if they yelled you would know what was wrong.
you swallowed hard. “did i… do something?” your voice barely sounded like yours.
the silence felt suffocating.
you slowly nodded, as if you understood, even though you didn’t. “okay.” your voice cracked slightly. you turned around before anyone could see the tears gathering in your eyes.
back in your room you sat on the edge of your bed for almost ten minutes without moving.
you stared at the floor, your thoughts running so fast you couldn’t keep up. you tried convincing yourself there had to be an explanation.
there had to be. these were your members. your family. your brothers. the people who stayed up all night helping you practice. the people who celebrated your debut. the people who held you when you cried. the people who promised they weren’t going anywhere.
so why did it feel like they already had?
eventually you grabbed your towel and headed toward the bathroom. you needed to think. you needed to breathe.
you needed something. anything.
the shower lasted almost an hour. you sat under basically boiling water longer than necessary.
letting it pour over your head and letting it burn your body, hoping it would somehow wash away the horrible feeling sitting in your chest.
every time you closed your eyes you heard juhoon’s words again.
‘if you wanted something. you should’ve said so.’
every time you remembered the look on their faces your stomach twisted even more than the last time.
by the time you finally turned the water off your fingers were wrinkled and your eyes hurt.
you changed into your pajamas slowly, not really wanting to leave the bathroom, because eventually you’d have to see them again. eventually you’d have to figure out what was happening.
but when you stepped into the hallway everything was dark all the lights were off.
the dorm was silent which meant everyone had already gone to bed.
for a second that somehow hurt even more.
you quietly made your way toward your room, carefully opening the door.
the room was dark except for the faint glow coming through the curtains from the moon.
james and juhoon were already asleep, their breathing soft and steady, like nothing had happened today.
you stood there for a few moments, just staring at literally nothing, because a part of you kept expecting one of them to wake up and explain everything.
to tell you this was all some misunderstanding. to tell you everything was okay.
with a heavy chest, you quietly climbed into bed and pulled the blanket over yourself.
the room felt colder than usual, and despite being exhausted, despite your eyes burning, despite how badly your body wanted sleep.
you spent most of the night staring at the ceiling wondering what you had done wrong.
every time you started drifting off your brain immediately dragged you back to the same thoughts. the same questions. the same horrible feeling sitting in your chest. when your alarm finally went off the next morning you felt worse than when you had gone to bed. your eyes burned. your head hurt. and your chest still felt painfully heavy.
for a few minutes you just laid there staring at the ceiling, listening.
everyone was already awake. you could hear them talking in the living room.
they were all laughing, arguing over something stupid.
completely normal, like yesterday never happened.
you swallowed hard. part of you wanted to stay in bed. part of you wanted to hide in your room forever.
but you couldn’t. eventually you forced yourself up and headed toward the bathroom.
you brushed your teeth mechanically. washed your face. stared at yourself in the mirror for longer than necessary.
you looked awful. your eyes were swollen from crying, your face looked pale.
when you finally stepped out of the bathroom your feet felt strangely heavy. the closer you got to the living room the louder their voices became.
everyone was scattered around like always. keonho was stretched across the couch, martin was sitting on the floor, seonghyeon was leaning against an armrest, juhoon was scrolling on his phone and james was sitting near the edge of the couch.
nobody noticed you at first. you just stood there, watching them.
your throat tightened and your vision started blurring. before you even realized it tears were already sliding down your face.
you quickly wiped at them but it didn’t help. a quiet sniffle escaped you, and immediately every conversation stopped.
everyone looked over. the second they saw your face their expressions changed completely.
you stood there crying, looking absolutely destroyed, and suddenly nobody looked very proud of the prank anymore.
another sob escaped you, then another.
and suddenly the words came pouring out.
“i’m sorry if i did something wrong. i know i can be annoying sometimes and i know i talk too much and maybe i did something without realizing it but can somebody please just tell me what i did?”
your voice cracked so badly you barely recognized it.
nobody moved. nobody spoke.
which only made everything worse.
tears kept pouring down your face. “please just talk to me. i don’t understand what’s happening. if you’re mad at me then just tell me. please. i can fix it if you tell me. i swear i can fix it.”
you sucked in a shaky breath. your chest hurt. everything hurt. “i don’t care if you’re angry at me. i don’t care if i messed up. just please stop ignoring me. please. i can’t do this again.”
everyone looked horrified. you were crying so hard you could barely breathe.
“you don’t understand. i spent all day trying to figure out what i did. i kept replaying everything over and over and over again and i couldn’t think of anything. i couldn’t sleep. i couldn’t eat. please tell me so i can fix it.” your knees suddenly gave out beneath you.
before you could hit the floor james was already moving. he practically launched himself off the couch as he wrapped his arms around you immediately, holding you up before you collapsed completely.
the second he touched you a broken sob tore from your throat.
because finally, someone was acknowledging you.
you buried your face into his chest like a child, which you literally were, crying so hard your entire body shook.
james looked sick. his arms tightened around you. “y/n.”
it was the first time any of them had spoken to you properly in almost twenty four hours.
you completely broke. james slowly lowered himself to the floor with you still clinging to him.
he held you tightly, one hand rubbing your back.
the other holding your head against his chest. he kept pressing small kisses against your hair, your forehead, the top of your head. anything he could reach.
“i’m sorry.” his voice sounded horrible. “i’m so sorry.”
you couldn’t stop crying. your lungs felt like they were on fire.
“what did i do?” you whispered between sobs. “please tell me what i did.”
the room fell silent again. nobody wanted to be the one to say it.
finally keonho forced himself to speak. “it was a prank.”
your crying immediately slowed. for a second you thought you heard him wrong.
nobody answered immediately. your heartbeat pounded in your ears.
keonho looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. “we’re really sorry y/n. we thought it would be funny. we weren’t trying to hurt you. we just thought it’d be one of those dumb pranks and we didn’t realize you’d take it like…”
he couldn’t even finish the sentence because suddenly you were staring at all of them completely frozen.
then you shoved yourself away from james like being near him physically disgusted you. And to be fair, at that moment he did disgust you.
you shoved him hard enough that he nearly lost his balance.
you slowly stood up, your legs felt weak and vision was blurry from the tears.
somehow you looked angrier than any of them had ever seen you. “what the fuck is actually wrong with you guys?”
“seriously. what the fuck is wrong with you?”
james stood up slowly. “y/n.”
“don’t.” your voice shook. “just shut up.”
the room immediately fell silent again as you stared at all of them.
“you know exactly what happened when i first moved in.” your voice cracked. “every single one of you knows.”
guilt immediately flooded every face in the room.
“you know how miserable i was.” you pointed at them with a shaky hand. “you know how hard that was for me.” tears kept falling down your face.
“half of you wouldn’t even acknowledge me when i spoke. i’d walk into a room and nobody would look up. nobody would answer me. nobody would include me in anything. i spent months wondering what was wrong with me.”
nobody could look you in the eye anymore. “you made me feel like i wasn’t wanted here.”
“and after all that, after all the conversations we’ve had, after all the times i’ve told you how badly that affected me.”
your voice broke completely.
“you thought this would be funny?”
nobody spoke. nobody defended themselves, because there wasn’t anything they could say.
“do you know how yesterday felt?”
you looked directly at keonho, then juhoon, then seonghyeon. you didn’t even bother looking at james. for some reason, you were most upset with him.
“i genuinely thought we were back there again.” tears streamed down your face. “when you ordered food without me i thought that was it. i thought you all finally got sick of me and nobody wanted me around anymore.”
james looked like he was about to cry too. martin had his head lowered. juhoon looked absolutely miserable. seonghyeon couldn’t even look in your direction. keonho looked the guiltiest of all of them. you could tell immediately he was the one who had the idea to prank you.
“i spent the entire night wondering what i did wrong, and i couldn’t think of a single thing.” your breathing shook.
you wiped at your face angrily. “have you guys even changed?”
“seriously.” your voice came out quieter this time, more hurt than angry. “have you?”
you shook your head, disappointed, hurt and angry.
you looked at the people who had become your family, and somehow right now they felt like strangers.
“jesus, how can i be younger than all of you but still more mature?”
james took a small step forward. “y/n please.”
you immediately stepped back, and the look on james’s face shattered.
you shook your head, unable to even look at them anymore and then without another word you turned around, walked to the front door, and left.
the apartment door slammed shut behind you. for several seconds nobody moved, or spoke.
because the second that door closed every single one of them finally realized that what they thought would be a harmless joke had just reopened wounds they should have never touched in the first place.
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