about me.
its long; you dont have to bother
i really feel like i dont belong..
im a mom of 2. im married. im 420 friendly. and i have been starving myself off-and-on for roughly the last 10 years..
but its more then just starving myself.. its counting the calories, 48+ hr fasts, purposely leaving something upstairs/downstairs so i could get in just a few more steps, making myself puke after eating too much, hours of looking at thinspo, even more hours spent looking in the mirror and just hating everything i seen..
fortunately for me, i did take a break during both my pregnancies, but it has since taken a major toll on the way i look at my body, only making things worse.
i do not push my eating habits on my children, nor do body shame, restrict/limit food, force feed or guilt feed my children and i do NOT plan on that EVER changing
my husband is clueless. or maybe hes not? im not upset by this. im not sick enough. yet
just to be clear my struggles with myself and my body started in my early-teens. my husband and children didnt come into my life until later..
dont ask me why, but i just feel like i NEED to explain that i dont do this to myself for a man or just decided to try it after having kids
ive found comfort in my ED. the kind of comfort i cant leave behind. the kind of comfort that can break a roaring tsunami down to a calm gentle wave. i never want to give it up.














