no minors, pls & thx

call me B. 28F. personal blog. minors DNI. not promoting anything & i know i’m a hypocrite x HW: 162 CW: 148 GW1:150 GW2:140 GW3: 130 UGW: 100

[diet-coke-zero]

i have been struggling with the food so hard on this trip 😭 we had turkish food for lunch today and it was good! we’re also having it for dinner at a different restaurant & i just looked at the menu online & there is not rlly anything that sounds good 😖 i appreciate that they want us to try food that they love & i know they have good intentions.

but the bitch in me is like…damn, can i pick what genre of food i want to eat at all?! i’ve had a leftover burrito in the fridge since friday and i wanna eat it but i haven’t had a chance at all. i don’t get to make the plans & we keep going out to eat 😅 & the portions everywhere are HUGE so there are a ton of leftovers piling up and it’s stressing me out. also, these places are kinda expensive af and that’s not ideal either bc not everyone is a doctor with a doctor’s salary 🙄

[diet-coke-zero]

my husband and i kinda had a heart-to-heart last night & i think it made us both feel better

[diet-coke-zero]

omg like, Realizing things

[diet-coke-zero]

it’s 89° F out & my husband’s friend is making us grill outside for a birthday party & my swamp ass is an environmental hazard rn

[diet-coke-zero]

my husband woke up & asked if i was upset last night and if yes, then why. i kinda deflected bc i did not want to have that convo & i honestly didn’t want any serious, heavy convo on vacation if i could help it. but he was very bothered by not knowing, so i told him the truth, that i’m generally having a good time, it’s a lovely vacation, but he has to understand that these aren’t my friends. i don’t have 8+ years of shared history and memories and jokes with them. they’ve been very kind and fun in general, but they’re still essentially strangers to me.

i also told him that it felt like he was discounting my thoughts and feelings but readily accepting his friends’, which stung. he felt bad hearing that, which i knew he would, but he seemed to perk up a lot by the end of our talk because i kept insisting that it’s no big thing (and it really isn’t)

i just couldn’t say what i authentically felt. like, i did say some things but i have a habit of justifying why it’s ok for things that hurt me to continue happening. i waved off the feelings of inferiority and judgment because “they probably didn’t even realize how it might have sounded” and i excused feeling alone and ignored because “i can’t expect them to act like i’m on the same level since they don’t know me and it’s not fair to place blame” and i hate that i wasn’t totally open but i can’t put my thoughts like that on him right now.

he did mention that he feels guilty about how he’s been acting lately towards me, as in, not communicating much. he’s been stressed and i get it! i just prefer if he considers how it might feel if the roles were reversed without these sorts of conversations

[diet-coke-zero]

man, i sure hope that keeping all of my thoughts and feelings in my head and on tumblr won’t add to my feelings of isolation and despair

[diet-coke-zero]

o yikes my husband’s friend (the one i know at least a bit) just uh…told me his belief that Americans (he is American! his husband is not) are worse/less cultured/less civilized than Europeans because…we eat pizza rolls…so of course Europe is better? like, wtf let people live, it’s not a competition and even if it was, that’s a gross Eurocentric take and also!!! just because a couple are both American, that doesn’t make them lesser than a couple with different cultures 🙄 like, it is def awful here BUT also it’s not easy to just leave and people shouldn’t feel bad about what they can’t control.

tbh it just shows privilege bc he’s also the same guy who didn’t vote because “how will one vote ever make a difference” while his spouse is an immigrant, gay, and a person of color in the south

[fudamnshi]

for me to be known is to be humiliated Lowkey

[diet-coke-zero]

oof!! nothing like finding out things everyone else knows about your husband and his friendships so they’re having a great time laughing and chatting and i do be on that phone bc i rlly wanna be alone but i don’t want to be questioned so here i sit

[diet-coke-zero]

it’s nice to see my husband having a great time with his friends. i kinda wish it didn’t come at the cost of my comfort tho lmao 😬

probably def shouldn’t have agreed to come but bc it falls over our anniversary, i don’t think my husband even thought about whether or not i would actually enjoy being around people i don’t know, who are largely ignoring me

and i get it! i’m just kinda their friend’s wife ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[diet-coke-zero]

ok so…i’m currently in a stranger’s house (my husband’s friend who i just met yesterday) and my husband left me alooooone to go out and check his friend’s tire with the guys so i sat there petting the dog & feeling awkward af 😅

on the upside, the only things i’ve eaten since Thursday are 1/2 of a KitKat, 1/3 of a burrito, 1/2 of a chocolate croissant, and an almond lmao

[heedlesshoossy]

Hey, fat people deserve to have fun and get their needs met even if they’re the least healthy mf you know. Fat people deserve proper medical care, and carbs, and to wear shorts and so many more things! EVEN IF THEY ARE UNWELL AND ESPECIALLY IF THAT UNWELLNESS IS DUE TO THEIR WEIGHT!!! Fat people deserve the world and more. Not just the healthy fats or attractive fats or small fats or fats that are fat because of medication or disability.

skinny people please reblog this one

Everyone reblog this one

[diet-coke-zero]

we stopped at a random little bar and snuck up to the music venue up a back staircase and an Ozzy Osbourne impersonator sang Changes & it was a really nice moment

[fairycosmos]

no one is coming to save you its true its true someone might be coming to hang outttttttttt though. someday

[transjudas]

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

[diet-coke-zero]

not to sound like an ungrateful bitch bc i know this vacay will be good but it is kinda awkward that i don’t rlly know any of these people except one and even then we don’t know each other well

like. my husband’s friends that are hosting us got married last month and i just found out on the plane ride right after we landed because my husband forgot to tell me

it lowkey sounds like my husband is the problem and he’s not, he’s genuinely a great person. I’m just grumpy and he’s kinda sucking at communicating

[thomasmomwell]