Life Crisis and Society
I cannot believe I am writing about this. Somehow, I didnāt think it does happen. However, quarter-life crisis, in my definition, is when you seem to be fighting a battle with yourself in your mid-20s. This battle is questioning your self-esteem, achievements, your sense of direction, and everything else society dictated that we should already have at this age, and yet, we donāt have it. It gives us frustrations, self-doubts, and worse of all; it gives us loneliness that lead to depression.
This experience does not necessarily happen to people of a certain age. It shouldnāt even just be called āquarter life crisisā or a "midlife crisis". It is inevitable to have a meltdown when you realize that you think you have done so little in this fast paced world. Honestly, we think so highly of ourselves that we expect our whole lives to be all smooth and shiny even before our job interview has even begun.
As I said in my first paragraph, society dictates. It gives us a standard lifestyle that seems to tell us we are failures if we donāt have it. It wants us to think that we should have everything before we even turn 30; that we should already be privileged and entitled when weāre 40. Thereās really nothing wrong for society to give us goals that we can use as an inspiration. But honestly, people go nuts over these.
Just this year, I had some family and relationship issues. It affected everything in my life, including my finances. Everything was circling down the drain. I couldnāt sleep; and when I do, I find myself having nightmares and waking up because I couldnāt breathe. Every night, I kept thinking, what the hell happened?
I was consumed by my problems that I didnāt realize; I was spiraling down on my own. But nobody was willing to go the distance and help me out. Everyone was just watching. They were just looking at my mistakes and judging my actions. They knew what I was going through, but nobody helped me.
Then I realized that nobody could help me. Society gave me a standard lifestyle, yes. It was a very strong influence in my life. But, it was always up to me if I wanted that lifestyle. Easier said than done? Yes. It is extremely difficult not to care about what others think, what others may feel about how you live your life. But guess what? They will never stop. They will continue to watch you, only watch. But never help. They will continue to judge you; they will always be there to question your decisions.
But you will always have to climb up by yourself. Only you.
I remember a friend who told me that I should be thankful for my partner. As I am a single mother, he said that I was lucky to have found a single guy who will accept me and my kid. Yes, that is true. I should be thankful, and I am lucky. But what if my partner and I are only good on paper? Like we may seem like the happy couple, but deep down you feel that you donāt really have a connection with the person.
Society dictates that I should stay with him because he accepted me after I had someone elseās child. Society tells me that I ought to be thankful for finding a person so nice and kind that he treated my child as his own. Society wants me to stay in the relationship even when everything is wrong because we have nothing in common, we do not really like each other. But because society tells me I am lucky to have him, I should stay.
It is the same as when a woman dresses provocatively. We judge. We think about what she does for a living. We think where she got her clothes with judgment. Why? Because society tells us that if dress in a certain way, we are a certain kind of person.
The problem? When that woman dwells on what society thinks, and is torn between actually being herself or following societyās unspoken law, that is the battle. There you go, ladies and gentlemen, a life crisis has officially begun.
Mediocrity for one, there is nothing wrong with being average. But society taught us that we have to be the best, we have to be on top. People worked their asses off to be the best. But really, we sacrifice everything, everyone, and even lose ourselves in trying to be ideal.
We blame it on society. In reality, society only gives us a guide. but itās always up to us how weāll be living every single day.
It is a clichƩ when they say that we have be to strong and tough to survive. However, it is true. It is the only way that we can fight these battles and live the way we want to live.
So loosen up a bit. Try not to think of what others will say and live your life. You donāt have to be too eccentric. Just be brave enough to make your own choices. If it is in line with societyās standards, go for it. If it is not, then so be it. Life is short; and we should make the most out of it.
