This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:
If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.
This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace
everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.
I'm so jealous of people who make original characters in original universes. I'm just never able to get invested in my own stories like this. I love coming to someone else's playground with my own dolls and making a mess hahha
Give me more unhinged, evil, and/or morally complex characters of color please. (If evil, then why hot?) If I wanted to see evil white men all the time, I'd turn on the news.
In this post I wanted to talk about what asexuality might look like in IFs, and the various ways this might be encoded into one’s IFs!
This is NOT a comprehensive post, I am NOT an expert. This is more or less me using my platform to educate where I can.
At the end of this post, and this is very important to me, is a list of resources covering some available information about BIPOC and Asian experiences. I will be talking about a BIPOC character in this post, but my discussion of him will be about implementation and structuring within an IF context! This is not an analysis of BIPOC and Asian asexual experiences nor about how this character acts as representation of these experiences.
If you intend on writing about these experiences, please educate yourself with my references being a jumping off point. I want to highlight these sources because they explicitly are written by BIPOC and Asian authors, and therefore, deserve more of a platform and focus. If you just want to skip to that section, please do!
This following section will be talking about two specific characters in IFs that I have encountered so far in my own playthroughs. I will be tagging the creators as permitted! Just be aware that this is not a critique, this is not an in-depth analysis, this is just pointing to various ideas and concepts associated with the characters that I feel are important to point out!
Unfortunately, I will not be providing a comprehensive list of IF characters that are asexual. One of the following examples is actually not asexual at all, but is written in such a way where I'd like to discuss its relevancy to this post. If anyone has made a list, please reach out! I'd love to tack it on and give you credit.
Oswin - God Cursed
Oswin, created by @wings-of-ink (aka Lunan), is a confirmed Demisexual character who is also BIPOC. It is very rare that we have an explicitly BIPOC asexual in media, let alone a BIPOC asexual man, therefore Oswin is a very wonderful rare character that I am very grateful to see in the IF.
In the story of God Cursed, should you choose his romance, there are a few moments where you get to discuss your MC's experiences with relationships. Whether it be romantic experiences or sexual ones, Lunan provides us a few choices as to how to respond to Oswin's expression of his demisexuality as well as how the MC may express their own sexuality.
There are a good few choices to choose from, including expressing a similar lack of sexual desire as Oswin, to being completely allosexual. Either way, the MC is accepted by Oswin and for their identity. Additionally, Oswin does express in the IF how Oswin’s connection to the MC influences his desire, which I recommend reading the IF to see how that is expressed.
Furthermore there are elements of aromantic identity in their IF! This is quite rare, and honestly is lovely to see. Especially as most IFs assume you may want to have a romance, when hey you just might want to have some casual fun!
Robin - Viatica
Robin, created by @fir-fireweed (aka Fir), is NOT an asexual character. That is completely fine, and is not expressly why I bring up this character in this discussion. Why I bring this character up is due to their complex relationship with sexuality.
In Viatica, there are a lot of complicated feelings around sex expressed by the characters. Within the story sex has become a compulsory act dictated by an abusive higher authority, thus losing its capacity for expressing intimacy and affection. Many of the characters have complex experiences that culminate in a heavy discussion at one point in the IF that makes it worth a read alone (aside from the amazing story that is...); but let's turn the discussion back to Robin.
Robin is the most vocally uncomfortable around the conversation of sex due to their own traumatic experiences. In the IF there is even a scene where the MC may try to initiate intimacy, whether sexual or otherwise, and Robin expresses discomfort. The MC is automatically stopped due to recognition of this discomfort, and they have a good discussion as partners about Robin's stress about sex.
I could go at length about Robin's expression of their sexuality, their discomfort and subsequent trauma about it, but I feel it is more satisfactory to see it for yourself. The arc that Robin goes through, as written by Fir, is very fascinating and while it does culminate in Robin having sex, is a larger critique on how sexuality is perceived in the world of the IF as a whole.
IF Implementation
Now! Would I say the above IFs are perfect reps of asexuality? No, because no one is perfect and these IFs are offering different commentaries on sex and sexuality.
What might that mean for IF authors though?
When implementing asexual characters, you as an author must think about the layers of identity. In Lunan's work, the MC is able to express differing levels of romantic and sexual inclinations. Fir's work, which is admittedly old in comparison, does not have these layers but that isn’t a bad thing.
How most IFs express sexual variations (in a straight forward fashion):
You had no sexual experience and you don't want any.
You had no sexual experience and would like to see how it works.
You had sexual experience and you don't want any sex.
You had sexual experience and you do want to have sex.
Authors can add sub-variations to these expressions like:
You rarely feel sexual attraction to your sexual partners
You need to be close to your sexual partners to feel desire
You have pleasured yourself but have not experienced sexual attraction to another person
These sub-variations add a layer of complexity to the MCs identities, whilst also proposing some variables to keep in mind. Furthermore, this adds asexuality into the narrative and forms a format where intimacy can be expressed in a different manner!
Subtle ways to show asexuality in MC/Characters:
Lets say for example, a Character grabs MC on the waist and squeezes them (this prompt was suggested by a friend, love you friend!). The people talking in this hypothetical can be swapped in terms of who is MC and who is RO.
You feel discomfort rising within you and push their hand away. “What are you doing?”
“I’m testing how you feel. Is that not okay?”
“No, it’s not.”
“Because you need to ask first” (Just asking for general consent)
“Because I know where this might lead, and I’m not into it.” (You can clarify with a note as to what you mean by this, but this can be interpreted as ‘baseline’ asexuality)
“Because I need to know you, and I don’t.” (Potentially demisexual choice or greysexual)
OR
You feel warm at their touch, allowing them to keep their hand where it was.
“Where is this going?” You ask.
“Wherever you want it to go.” RO says.
You want to escalate it further, push their hand where it felt best (Potentially allosexual, but can be interpreted as a sex positive interaction for an asexual)
You didn’t want it to escalate further, the warmth of their hand felt so good in the moment (General consent)
“I don’t want this to be more than… a touch. I like feeling you, I like knowing you want me close, but nothing more.” (Asexual option)
The straight forward variables might look like:
Sex experiences: true/false
Sex want: true/false
Sub-variation variables might look like:
Sexual attraction: true/false
Close Sexual attraction: true/false
Sexual Desire/Personal intimacy: true/false
I hope readers right away might notice this added layer of complexity, and I would like to take it a step further and express that no reader should use this post as reason to judge IF authors for not implementing Ace identities into their works. There is so much complexity in identities, there is no true way to implement everything, and some people just aren't aware of Ace identities. That's okay! Everyone is learning as we go.
But IF authors, there are so few Ace characters out there! Please don't hesitate to add Asexual or Aromantic ROs! Add customization options for MCs! Go forth and increase the scope of your IF, but don't scope creep that's the devil talking.
Black queer organizations: https://www.marieclaire.com/politics/a32827051/black-lgbtq-organizations-groups/
Book on the topic: https://www.acornbookshop.com/products/refusing-compulsory-sexuality-a-black-asexual-lens-on-our-sex-obsessed-culture?variant=53980226453717
Asian Asexuality:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/388886964_Asexuality_in_Asia_The_Intersection_of_Tradition_Identity_and_Sexual_Diversity (China, Japan, and India)
https://anoaqa.org/about-anoaqa-new/ (Organization focused on Asian asexuality!)
https://lup.lub.lu.se/luur/download?func=downloadFile&recordOId=9202348&fileOId=9202351 (Dissertation on Japanese asexuality!)
https://www.asexualityasia.org/ (This organization is run by southeast Asian individuals, but promises a broad spectrum of covering Asian experiences.)
Indigenous Asexuality:
Guides to general Indigenous sexuality: https://guides.library.ubc.ca/c.php?g=735133&p=5293056
Unfortunately there isn’t much beyond my preliminary research, but that’s okay. I just did a general search, there are loads of people online willing to educate, feel free to seek them out!!!
Book list: https://boatneck-group-cf6.notion.site/aro-ace-books-bcaaaf3d0556465fb9b9135a7fe2952b
Make good choices, and keep queering up spaces. Special thanks to Fir and Lunan for agreeing to be tagged in this post, I apologize for asking anonymously but anxiety is a bitch. Happy pride month!
”#oh absolutely, #the quiet agony of knowing there is a very good chance they won’t stick the landing, #when you don’t have proof it’s going somewhere bad yet but the warning signs are there, #but you can’t just back out because you really want it to be good”
makers breath child @makersbreathchild - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
titsay
vaporwave
tangentwithtanner
izzy806
