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When people ask why I’m not married, I always say it’s because I want to have a house first—but honestly, if you proposed to me now, even without a house, I’d say yes instantly.

April 12 2026 11:02 Majuro, Marshall Islands.

10:05 pm majuro april 9

Rewatching reels my boyfriend sends me.

There’s this one where the caption is ‘every man’s dream,’ and the video shows a baby boy going to his father’s lap just so they can sit together. I don’t really see myself as a mother, but maybe for him, I can

I would love to have a family with him.

Julius Chavez.

April 9 2026

Cashiering today because SOMEONE is lazy to be on time. Been like this maybe for 2 weeks now. Work is good, my brain isn’t braining sometimes(most of the time) . Miss my dogs and my boyfriend , family and my life in the Philippines. Thinking about it, my homesickness isnt as a big deal back in america. Might be because i have an aunt here. I dont know. Felt like i can be someone in america not like here just…. Alive but not living….

Finished red dead redemption 2 and im thinking of getting a journal like arthur since ive already started doing a journal for my boyfriend for the days we dont talk i put it in there. I sometimes draw there just because im bored. Im trying to draw again, i mean i was never good at it but im finding my spark again.

Didnt finished reading the ikigai book because i was stuck at the question “ what do you want to do” and “ what makes you happy” i might never finish the book if i dont find out what i like to do.

March 07 2026

It's been 8 months since I've moved from the Philippines to the Marshall Islands.

I'm a procurement agent at Do It Best. Tita is the COO of the company here and will be return to the Philippines for surgery on her back. She can't walk well since she returned here with tito from chuuk.

Life's good. work is okay and fun. water is free since we get water from rain. uhhh what else is there to tell. my workmates are nice to me as well.

I miss my family, my dogs and my boyfriend. I miss the convenience of the philippines. Life is good here but supplies aren't that fresh sometimes. Here, I have to check for the expiry date on every food supply i get before buying. Usually eggs are sole per customer.

Buying from websites are expensive when you think of the delivery charges and the long wait you have to do before the items arrive. if you lucky your items would be in air freight. Air freight is about 2-4 weeks to the island while ocean freight is usually at 6-8 weeks depends also when the ship will be delayed.

maybe

maybe when I'm the first one to go. I'll let my loved ones read some of the posts here.

I'm usually bored when I write here. trying to journal life's big events. or just updating life.

itsaaaaaaa 4:23 pm at Marshall Islands. I'm at my room while tita and tito are watching in the living room for alex eala's game. Just had lunch about an hour ago. I cooked some baked chicken in the air fryer. i was good. better if I made the saws for the chimcken but got forgot to buy lemons.

4 years na kami ni Julius Chavez. Boyfriend ko if you remember (me if im reading this from the future) 4 years kahapon march 6 2026.

natatae ako.

cr muna ako.

#personal

Hello hello

I am already in the marshall islands since july 6th been working under my aunt for do it best as a procurement agent.

Homesickness is still there but not too bad.

Ive been working for 6 months now.

My nephew passed away. He was like a little brother to me. During gathering he’d come to me and chat about whats happening with our lives. he'd be open about what he’d like to do when he grows up. We’d talk about his school. Who he likes. What project, exams, professors or school assignments would give him headaches.

He was such a bright kid and has a bright future ahead of him.

The whole family is grieving for his passing.

Wish we’d talk more even out of family gatherings.

See you soon gabs, but not too soon.

#grief #personal

Bye for now aki;

I rehomed my dog Aki to my boyfriend's family house.

Its been a week and it feels like a long time since I've seen aki.

Rehomed him last April 17 2025. Its already been settled that aki would move in with my boyfriend since last year when my dad got sick and I had news of going overseas to work.

Dad cant take care of 4 dog. It was originally just for 2 dogs. But since nami gave birth 2 times now, its been hard to take care of them.

This is aki. My second dog. Got him for nami to have a friend. he's 2 years old now. last march 10 is his birthday. He's the biggest of the litter and the last one to be sold.

My mom and I would stare at aki and would think if this is my aunt(mom's sister tita isa) who passed away last 2022. not because of his looks but because of his skills. Aki is a learner. He would think of ways to escape when we lock him in a single place (not in a closed space lol) when we need him to stay put for a few hours). He'd look for ways to escape our backyard onto our garage. just like my tita who passed was a all rounder. She is great at fixing things and can even do boys job.

I miss you both oh so dearly.

#personal

Maybe it's God's way of redirecting me by canceling my plan to go hiking before I leave the Philippines.

April 16 2025 (WEDNESDAY) I was supposed to go on a hiking date with my boyfriend.

A week before the hike April 09 2025, I developed early-stage otitis media. It was irritating, but I could manage the pressure in my ear. Thankfully, it healed quickly after taking antibiotics and antihistamines.

Sunday April 13 2025, I had toothache that would make me cry because of the pain. by night it got worse.

But by Monday night, the right side of my face became swollen. I prayed it was just a mild allergic reaction, especially since I had taken two mefenamic acid tablets and one naproxen that morning. When Tuesday came, the swelling worsened and started to ache. I went back to my doctor, hoping that by the afternoon, the swelling would go down. Unfortunately, it didn’t. I had to cancel the trip at the last minute and still had to pay the full price. I felt so sad and disappointed in myself—I even cried to my boyfriend about it. I had really been looking forward to that trip.

But then my boyfriend and my mom reminded me of something important. Maybe this was God's way of telling me to stay home, that something bad might’ve happened if I had gone—especially since I’ll be moving away in May for a new job.

I was really looking forward to this hike, but I'd always think that : It’s God’s plan that it didn’t happen. I still cry a little when I watch TikTok videos of people hiking. I get this feeling of missing out, like I wasn’t able to experience it myself.

#personal #mt. ulap #hiking

This was taken January 25 2020, before pandemic happened.

I'm sorry Mako. I wasn't a great furmom for you. I took you for granted. After 5 years and I still regret everything.

When you died I didn't get to shed a tear. But your death really took a toll on me. I wasn't motivated, I got sloppy and sad all the time. I did think of the things I should've done for you rather than be busy with other things. My dad mostly took care of you. You two were bestfriends. Hope I was one as well.

Run free my Mako.

You have a sister now. Her name is Nami. Got her as a present for my birthday. she looks just like you, just darker and smaller, and noisier. You both have the same smile, the same energy, the same ears, the same nose and tail.

Maybe she is you.

I dearly miss you Mako and if I ever have the chance you have you again. I would do everything for you. I'd fix my mistakes.

I love you Mako. I'm sorry.

Christmas 2024 @ Las Casas De Azucar, Philippines.

This picture was taken after the dinner buffet. The area shown below is the buffet section. I was a bit disappointed with the selection, as it lacked Filipino cuisine. And the taste was mediocre.

While eating, there was an entertainment performance showcasing different cultures from around the Philippines, which we enjoyed. However, after the first program, I was, again, disappointed but this time with the choice of songs the band played. It was a "Christmas Dinner Buffet". I think they missed the "Christmas" part since the band played only love songs and not "Christmas themes" songs.

We expected a lot from this place, but it turned out to be more about aesthetics—great for those who appreciate old/heritage Philippines.

Unfortunately, we hadn't had the chance to enjoy other activities since it rained all day. The staff seemed understaffed based on our experience, and some lacked professionalism.

Still, we had fun in our rooms, spending some quality family time!

January 2025

(Moved from the other blog)

Hi self! how are you? hope you still hanging on! now its the first month of 2025 and your waiting for you approval to work overseas. This is the sign you’ve been waiting for since you went to america. you had doubts and regret in your life but you’ll get over this. hope this work overseas will change you on. will make you an adult you’ll love. hope you can take back what your parents gave you. your relationship with your boyfriend will be 3 yrs now on march 9th. know that every hardships comes with good outcomes. You Got This.

To my bonak,

Thank you for always understanding me, especially during my difficult times. I love you with all my heart.

It’s 9:02 PM on a Saturday night, March 22, 2025. Kagagaling mo lang sa church niyo, and may gagawin ka pang sandwiches para ibenta sa church bukas. I've realized na malapit na ang araw na aalis na ako. 2 years din tayo hindi magkikita. makakaya natin yan. LDR nga tayo simula una palang e haha

Ang swerte ko talaga na nakilala kita, at ang swerte ko rin na naranasan ko kung paano ang tunay na pagmamahal. Mamimiss kita nang sobra pag umalis na ako papuntang Marshall Islands. Actually, miss na miss na kita—yung yakap mo, yung amoy mo, at yung mga moments na pinapatawa mo ako.

Grabe, mahal na mahal talaga kita. Bonak ka!

Hi self!

Macchie mag 1 yr old na sya sa April.

2025 na.

Waiting ka nalang umalis. May 25 daw tentative date to Marshall Islands. Hindi mo pa ata makakasama si macchie papunta doon Procurement Agent sa Do it best Majuro nakapasa ka sa interview thank you din kay Tita Beth.

Makakaya mo yan. It's your time to fly na. Ito na yung inaantay mong sign kay Lord. Ito na yun. Grab na wag na mag inarte.

Iwanan mo lahat nararamdam mo sa pilipinas, para sayo ito at para sa sarili mo.

Makakabawi ka na sa parents mo. 5 years ka din naging palamunin. Walang ambag at pabigat sakanila. Time na para maibalik mo ang supporta na binigay sayo ng magulang mo. Ito na yung sign na hinihintay mo. Iwan mo lahat, ang pagka arte, ang pagka iyakin at ang pagka malambot. Maging matatag ka para sa future mo, ninyo.

Makakatulong ka na kela mama at papa. Maging galante ka sakanila parati. Bigyan mo sila mas marami kesa sayo. Makakaipon ka na.

Kaya mo yan. Ikaw pa ba. Ikaw na yan. Baka si Ella yan.

Going to bicol!

This is in plaridel-pampaaralan. I remember we stayed somewhere in Atimonan before going straight to Legazpi City.

-December 2021

#blue #ocean #travel #philippines #sky #blue sky #clouds

Sunsets in Alabang.

-December 2021

#sunset #sunsets #alabang #car ride #philippines

Sept 2023 life update with a little rant.

This blog might just be a life update for future me. so... update... update...

Its been 3 years since I opened my tumblr just wanted to know what happened.

Many things happened. met new friends from CODM when pandemic hit, still got no job, still afraid of taking risks even if I know I need to take it. maybe its trauma when I was still in america or im just content on what things are since I have anxiety in my existential life.

My tita passed away during covid. I miss you dearly tita issa. I hope you are doing well where ever you are, and may you please guide me in my life.

2 of my friends are in kuwait for their job. my bestfriend is in dubai with her mom for her job.

I dont know what im doing tbh.

Friends are getting married or has a child.

I have a boyfriend for over a year and 6 months. I love him so much.

Im 25....

wow...

Im 25 now and I still feel 23, like time stopped for me when covid hit....

To my future self,

Step up your game. Be kind still, and take risks. you're 25 you need to be an adult now. wake up.