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@malcolmsex4in
New Yorkers Aren't Rude. You Are.
And I mean that title with the utmost of respect.
I’ve been a denizen of this fair[ly crappy] city my entire life, in one way or another. I spent some time in LA during college, but don’t worry, I got over it. The one thing, though, that I’ve consistently heard from around the US is that New York is a rude city.
This is, I feel, based on a fundamental misunderstanding of what this place is.
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Shocker?
My peeps, News may not have made it everywhere, mostly because I don't think many people care all that much, but I'm moving to NYC and trying out for the Shock Exchange!! While this may seem like a surprise to some, well, it has mostly to do with employment, and being closer to family. But then there's this other thingy... I secretly combined my family and employment needs with my insatiable desire to fuel my derby obsession, and I'll be trying out for the NY Shock Exchange!!!!!!! I can't really describe how excited I am about this new opportunity. So, what does all of this mean?
Less Responsibility - I can finally just skate!! Over the past year, I've been the VP and headed up training for VT Men's Derby. On top of that, I've served as the greaser, keeping everyone happy and keeping the team moving. You see, ever since VMRD was founded, there's been a bit of a divide, and well, frankly, I spend a lot of time babying people so that we could have the numbers to skate. The multiple roles left me mentally exhausted, and I am super relieved to be able to give up all the responsibility. Trying to motivate people who want respect and admiration for doing pretty much nothing is one of the most exhausting things anyone can do, ever...
More Skating - NYSE has two travel teams, and will be (I'm told) forming a 3rd home team!! From what I understand, the newer skaters on the A team (of which I hope to be one) fill in spots on the B team when they bout, because the league can't always make the numbers for two full travel rosters. Then, everyone's on a home team, and the league plans to add one more home team this year. Right now, they have the Coney Island Freakshow, the Union Squares, and I'm hoping they'll take my suggestion of the "Ghetto Blasters," but I'm not holding my breath. Better Experience - Shock has basically fathered modern men's derby. Yeah, I know PVRD was the first team, but they're largely irrelevant these days, and Shock has remained at the top of MRDA/MDC since it was created. They have some of the best and most knowledgable skaters in the entire game, and being part of such an established/experienced league can never be bad. Anyway, "tryouts" are January 13, and well, I've been told that they just need me to drive to NYC (12 hours of driving in a 48 hour period) to do a skating skills test. What with all the above factors, can anyone really be surprised that I'm doing this? I think not... So, here's hoping I can keep it together on the ruthlessly unforgiving surface that is sportcourt...
we don’t sexually discriminate here at roller derby butts. check out malcolm sex’s booty.
I'm honored to have my butt featured on RollerDerbyButts!!!
Eastern Regionals!!!!!!
Skaters are coming to Vermont from all over the Eastern Region (which includes the UK, Scandinavia, and Germany, apparently. Anyway, the action informally kicks off tomorrow night (Wednesday 9/26) when my team, the Vermont Mean Mountain Boys, opens its scrimmage practice to all willing and able participants. I hear Quadzilla wants to show up, and I'm hoping to jam against him... For more info, click on this link: https://www.facebook.com/events/424048647652458/ Then, on Thursday, it'll be a full day of volunteering, setting up the venue for the event, and showing the teams their accommodations. Then, on Friday at 10 a.m., the tourney begins with Carolina taking on Dutchland to start!!! I, for one, am psyched!!! Here's the bracket:
We all know Gotham will be #1, and Philly #2, but I'm looking at #s 3-7. There are lots of wildcards. Montreal has beaten all the 3-7 teams this season, except London, who beat them last year in Regionals by the thinnest of margins. London is the biggest wildcard, because while they've been dominant in the bouts they've played, they have not really played the stiff competition that Montreal has, and so, I have to think Montreal is the favorite to take third place. Anything, however, can happen, and that's why they play the games!!! See you there!!!!!
Straight baller:
Holy Amazingness!!
The exact moment Official Time Outs became fun for everyone.
Ro$$ Vega$ Gotta love his style...
Fan art de nuestras freshies ♥♥♥
Nice art!
When a coach approaches me to argue a call instead of the Head Ref.
WHEN YOU IMMEDIATELY GET THROUGH A SCRUM START
Holy shit, this is funny:
omg quality post
butts
i can’t figure out which one i am omg help
I can’t either omg I think I may be an Hour glass
mine is depressingly obvious and i’m going to go cry about it now.
PRETTY SURE I’M A “BADONK”
Gotta love booty...
Mohawk Valley Cup
Hey people, Long time no write. I've been doing lots of shit, most of it related to derby, and I haven't had the chance to do more than reblog the funny "Call Me Maybe" Chatroulette video and photos of Suzy Hotrod's fine...parts. Anyway, VT Men's Derby partook in the Mohawk Valley Cup on August 18 &19, and boy was it fucking amazing!!
We started off by skating against the New York Shock Exchange. Yes, they whooped our asses *cough* to 27 or something, but we all had fun!! A few highlights to mention: 1) I jammed against Jonathan R!!!! I've done this in NYSE practices before and since then, but FUCK YES it was EPIC!!! 2) The Mean Mountain Boys had, I believe 2 jams, where we outplayed, AND outscored NYSE (not bad huh?). 3) I fouled out for the very first time ever, and got sent to the locker room by a Level 5 WFTDA ref!!! Sugar Daddy was awfully nice about it afterwards. 4) I knocked Jefferee on his ass, and that felt amazing!! And finally: 5) The Mean Mountain Boys never gave up, and Ferrari Kid never stopped smiling. (OK, I'll admit, in all the chaos, I wasn't really paying attention to other skater's highlights, and this blog is a bit self centered, but shit, can't a man boast a lil bit...?)
One thing I noticed about the Shock Exchange is that they're really generous nice dudes. After the bout, they offered all of us tips, and compliments, and I honestly expected nothing else. They have a reputation within Men's Derby for being assholes, and I cannot figure out why, for the life of me. Class acts and nice dudes all around, except for Jefferee when he's jam coaching LIRR... :oD I made good on a bet with Maulin' Brando pitting VT Maple Syrup against NY Cheesecake in a winner take all quest for sweetness, and the only catch was that I got the cheesecake no matter who won. Great bout, great experience, and a lot of fun, despite the blowout...
Bout 2, also on day 1, was against PVRD's Dirty Dozen. We've played these dudes several times before, and came pretty close to beating them in a public scrimmage in April, but they got back several of their injured skaters since then. Highlights: 1) I knocked Will Jettison into the penalty board on the inside of the track, which caused the officials to scatter, and the crowd to gasp. 2) We figured out how to wipe the resin off of our wheels, which made gripping the floor a whole lot easier; 3) Mongo was back!! Mongo, one of MRDA's favorite skaters returned from a wicked shoulder injury that kept him from contact for a lot of months skated again at Mohawk for the first time in a long time. I must say that I Lawrence Taylored him right onto his ass when he was trying to skate behind me. We laughed it off... 4) We finished the bout strong, and ended up losing something like 290-75, but shit, earning those 75 and giving up those 298 were fun as shit!!
Bout 3 was against the Quadfathers on day 2. Both they and us had lost both of their bouts up to that point, and so this was the battle to stay out of the cellar. We finally played a team on our level, and it proved to be a super competitive bout throughout. Some highlights: 1) After working the damn things for so long, we finally did well and triumphed at many scrum starts. I was proud of my teammates, that we were able to work so well together, finally. 2) Ferrari Kid was fucking unstoppable. He and Wraith did the lion's share of the jamming, because our blocking was awesome when I was in the pack (that's what the jam coach said, not me). He must've scored 80 points, at least. Wraith, as usual, was totally dominant, and I believe I scored 24 points on a power jam, but I honestly cannot remember the specifics at this point. 3) The Mean Mountain Boys killed penalties better than I've ever seen them do it. We all know it's a "stop the bleeding" strategy with penalty kills these days, and we did so very effectively. All in all, the MVC was amazing. The Shock Exchange totally cleaned up, earning the gold by annihilating the Mass Maelstrom in the championship bout. Mass got 2nd, and I think Race City got 3rd, although I really can't remember on account of being so fucking toasted after our bout ended... Also of note, Undead Zed #0, for the Maelstrom broke the shit out of his leg. I have seen him since, and he's on the mend, determined to get back into the action. So, in a way, many of us were playing for him after he got hurt, and hoping that he makes a speedy recovery. Now that my crazy musings are over, I hope to post some photos of the tourney in the near future. Cheers!!
Those were the days...
MRDA Goodness
The Mohawk Valley Cup is coming!! And I'm back!! Here's a preview: Vermont Mean Mountain Boys play the Shock Exchange!! It should be fun...
