For their daughter, they would do anything - that much they could both agree on. His reply is silent, chin dipping into a single nod. And though it was just for Khai, he couldn’t help but feel relieved in the case of his ex too. His teeth sink into the flesh of his cheek as he watches her smile grow, trying to bite back the smirk that was seconds away from breaking through. “Yeah, I had a feeling that’d work.” He admits, one shoulder coming up in a shrug. He’s silent as he listens to her, allowing her to finish her thoughts as he nods along, a silent way of showing that he’s listening. “I know you did.” He never once doubted that, “But I don’t think we have the same point of view, not exactly.” They could both agree on wanting the best for Khai, wanting to protect her, raise her up in a family feeling so loved - but the line was drawn when it came to a specific family member. And just going back around to it at this point felt a lot like beating a dead horse. “I would never ask you to hate your mother.” He replies, shaking his head - the silent thought of him hating her enough for the both of him flashes in his mind, “I just wish you could see her for what she really is. But I can’t force you, and I’m just – I’m tired of fighting this battle. I feel as if I’m pushing a very stubborn boulder up a very steep hill and getting nowhere with it.” Gigi the boulder, Yolanda the hill. “I don’t care how her parents raised her to be frank. You’d think she’d take that and want to do the opposite of it and break the cycle but apparently not.” A pause, licking his lips over before dragging his teeth over his lesser lip with a deep breath - “One of these days, you’re going to see her for who she really is. You’ll see how toxic she is, and she’s going to hurt you.” Something he obviously didn’t like to think about, but Zayn was a realist more than anything. “And I imagine it’s going to be absolutely Earth shattering because she’s your mother and you seeing her in any other light is just… impossible. I don’t want it to happen, obviously. I’d like it if I could stop it and shield you from it. But I can’t. I never could.” he didn’t have that kind of power, “But when it happens, I want you to know that I’ll be there. My door will never be shut to you.”
At this point, he was best friends with regret. He’s regretted a lot in his life, some things so much darker than the others, would talking to Gigi this way become one of his regrets? Another several things to add to that ever growing list? Or would it be the aftermath of the action that he’d regret? He didn’t fuckin’ know, thinking about it wasn’t doing any good either. Her comment hangs in the air, it’s heavy between them and Zayn nods a single nod, the ghost of a smile hinting on his lips. He once thought Gigi was the one, the one that could flip his entire world upside down, the one who would consume his thoughts, the one he would love until his dying breath, the one that got away. And there was a part of him that still believed that. And one would imagine that someone would be happy with it, but for Zayn it was painful. Because they were at a place that he never thought they would be, the distance between them has grown over the years and she has very clearly moved on with Bradley. Zayn was a thing of the past. What they had was a thing of the past. “Not even Mr. Bradley Cooper?” A brow raises, head tilting to the side ever so slightly as eyes flash with a challenging curiosity, the hint of smugness in there. “That’s a good thing though, isn’t it?” He asks a second later, “Being with someone who really knows you.” The comment about her mother raises a brow, and Zayn nods slowly. “Does she know that? Does she know that she’s not Khai’s parent? Because from day one, she overlooked me as Khai’s parent and completely ignored me and any decision I made. She doesn’t respect me as Khai’s father, she never respected me as your boyfriend. I’m nothing but a speck on the bottom of her overpriced shoe to her, which obviously I couldn’t give a fuck about - but getting overlooked as your partner and Khai’s parent, yeah that kind of pisses me off.”
Her broken whisper hangs in the air and it’s as if Zayn could hear the crack through his heart at the question. He mulls the question over in his head, trying to find the answer but not being able to come up with anything. “I can’t answer that for you.” His voice is quiet between the two, “I think that’s a question you need to answer for yourself.” With the closeness between them, Zayn could practically see the battle she was fighting herself in her eyes, the unspoken thoughts that plagued her mind and then she lets one of those thoughts surface, and he freezes - holding his breath as he waited for her to finish that sentence. “I wasn’t in what, Gigi?” He has a feeling he knows exactly what she’s referring to, but he wants to hear her say it. It wasn’t that long ago that Zayn had done the interview, the memory of it was still fresh in his mind. But if it was in her mind as well, that means that she watched it. She saw Zayn say what he said. “Finish the sentence.” The demand is soft. Already gearing up for what he would say when she finished it, or at the very least trying to. He didn’t mean it, he knew that. He wasn’t sure if he said it because he was bitter or not, he didn’t think he was but it was a possibility that a small part of him was. But he said it because he didn’t want to give her the power she had over him, didn’t want to hand his heart on a silver platter only for her to take a dagger to it the way Taylor did the Blank Space cake. He wanted to move on, so desperately. Wanted to close his eyes, take a breath and leave their relationship behind. But he couldn’t, and that killed him.
The absence of her consuming his space and vice versa is felt when she pulls back and faces away from him immediately. How many times would Zayn be the cause, somehow, of the tears that lined her eyes? How many times would he be the cause of her heartbreak? How many times would he let her walk away? “Yeah.” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck. “I miss her too.” Being away from her was always tough. He takes a step towards Gigi, feet becoming lead for a second as he debates his next move carefully. Lips press into a line before he moves again, her previous unfinished sentence still heavy on his mind. Walking around her, he’s tentative as he gently lifts her chin, hues searching hers. Reckless, he was so fucking reckless and impulsive and it was that recklessness and impulsivity that leads him to lean forward, lips caressing hers as he kissed her, hesitantly at first as every single alarm went off in his head about how this was a bad idea, then a little bit more confidently, like he’s done so many times in the past before, full of the longing, and passion and love he had for her. One hand comes up to rest on her cheek, the pad of his thumb grazing along her high cheekbone as the other hand fell to her waist. After a few seconds, he’s the one to stop back. “That should answer your question.” He hated giving her that piece of him, but he didn’t want her to think that he never loved her. That he wasn’t in love with her. He clears his throat, “I should probably go.” Yet as he said it, he didn’t move.
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