Malissa with an A

Hi! Welcome to my blog! My name is Malissa, I'm married to a geek named Alex and mom to Alice and Lucy. My littles have taken over my life but I also post a lot of recipes that I'll never cook but look delicious, a lot of items that I want but have no place for, and comics that make me laugh.

[malissawithan-a]

We spent a week in the UP at the camp my husband and I grew up going to, I think it’s our 5th summer taking the kids up. It was a really good week, Alice got sick the last two days of camp so we left a little bit earlier than planned but it’s better to be sick at home. It was the first year where I felt like I packed really well for the week, maybe needed a couple more pairs of pants since the mornings and evenings were cool. The girls are now old enough that I usually kept an eye on where they were for a little bit but saw them mainly at meal times, it was super weird but nice to actually do some activities for myself. Glad to be home and now to get Alice ready for a week of girls’ camp (first time for a sleep away camp for her)!

[malissawithan-a]

Hello! Good life update, my mom is doing much better. She ended up having to delay 2 chemo treatments because of the side effects of one of the meds, that one med cause multiple side effects, hospital trips, and many doctor visits. They decided to drop the one med and are just using another now, which somehow doesn't change the outlook or prognosis at all so that's good. She had her first transfusion of just that med last week and has said it's been a night and day difference. She feels much better and is slowly getting some energy and strength back. She's even hopeful that they'll make it up to visit sometime this summer, although I'm a bit skeptical of that actually happening. Thank you guys so much for the positive thoughts, it got worrying there for a bit.

In other news, I am picking paint colors for the new house and 25 year old me would be so disappointed, lol. No lime green kitchen and burnt orange living room this time around, I'm going much more muted and neutral and feel very conflicted about that. Don't get me wrong, happy with what I'm picking out but maybe it's just feeling old and picking boring colors (picking Shoji white by Sherwin Williams for most of the house if anyone is curious). I can find fun, bright art pieces though and that will make up for it, it's not a bad thing to do mostly neutrals.

School is almost done, Lucy has officially graduated from speech therapy after 2.5 years in it. She started off with a severe diagnosis and I was crying on the phone call a week ago when the therapist said she was done and didn't need to get pulled for it any longer. So proud of how far she's come.

[malissawithan-a]

Hello! It's been a while, I've been meaning to make some kind of life update for a while but honestly, things have just felt heavy and I didn't feel like being vulnerable. I'm good, husband's good, and girls are good so it's not anything directly on that front. I honestly think a lot of it has been the need to make a lot of big decisions in the past few months and my brain just desperately needing a break. I need to talk about the biggest thing though because I am finding it super hard to talk about in person with friends.

My mom got diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma at the beginning of February. Slow growing, good chances of remission and recovery, and she was in good spirits when initially talking about it going into the first chemo treatment. She had the usual exhaustion and weakness from the first round of chemo but in the past two weeks the side effects have really kicked up. We're talking multiple ER visits due to a rash, swelling, fluid around her lungs, heart palpitations, etc. Right now she's been in the hospital for a day and is supposed to get an echocardiogram to check her heart.

This doesn't feel like a normal or expected reaction, she was supposed to have her second round of chemo last week and it keeps getting pushed because of these reactions. It's starting to feel like I need to prepare myself for the end and that feels insane because she's only 62 and everything I've read says this should be treatable and she'll recover. It's not like going down to see them would help right now, there's nothing to do but sit by her and knowing my mom she would hate that and me seeing her in this state. I don't know what to do though, waiting around for updates and bracing myself every time a text comes in isn't fun.

I have't told many people in my life, only a couple people outside of immediate and in law's family. I don't want the pity from friends or even to talk about in person because that would make it too real. So here I am writing it here where I've put many a vulnerable thought in the past because none of you will have to ask me in person how I'm doing or how she's doing. Not much I can do besides keep waiting and supporting from states away.

Sorry for the downer post, need to get it out though.

[fullcravings]

Peanut Butter Banana Baked Oatmeal Bars

[ariadne-mouse]

me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth

fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))

me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!

fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*

[steakosaur]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

Kudos to this post, I think of you every time I do my fucking laundry

[malissawithan-a]

One of the upsides of having slightly older kids now is that I can be sick and they are totally fine snacking for meals and keeping themselves entertained. Alice got the flu last Sunday and was recovered enough by Thanksgiving to go to my in laws, I was just starting to feel sick though and stayed home. Finally coming out of it today, I still sound terrible but actually put clothes on and left the house so progress.

[malissawithan-a]

Fall has been my favorite at the new house, been discovering all the fun trails now that all the leaves are gone. And way less bugs and humidity.

[sosuperawesome]

Animal Travelers // Marie-Claude Roch

[daily-deliciousness]

Raspberry chocolate chip cookies [27 minutes]

[malissawithan-a]

When the first snow of the season happens you just throw on snow boots and don’t bother with all the warm stuff.

[malissawithan-a]

Hi! Still alive and lurking over here, just a bit overwhelmed with life and not finding the words to vent about it right. But in the midst of chaos wanted to share a pic of the girls from Halloween, we had a great time going with friends at their house because our new street isn’t the best for trick or treating and I’ve checked with a couple neighbors and no one does it. First time going with friends but definitely going to do it again!

[casceth]

dont retreat emotionally. people like you and want you around. they like to talk to you, and you genuinely matter. you have to trust this through the hard times so you can get to the better times without sabotaging yourself. you are worth loving

[fullcravings]

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bars

[malissawithan-a]

Hi! It’s been a bit, still alive over here. We’ve settled into the house, still a few projects to do but we’ve gotten a lot done. There’s been progress on the new build too, we have basement walls poured and next steps are scheduled. I’m regretting not signing the girls up for more summer camps, this is the first week where we’ve had nothing and they’re going insane. I need to figure something out for next week, even if it’s just going to a park most days. Lucy had a few weeks of tutoring this summer to keep working on reading, she’s not behind necessarily but has trouble blending letter sounds so getting her the extra help (and face time with who the person I hope is her teacher) was the right call. Only 3 weeks left until school starts, both cannot wait for more routine and also dreading the chaos.

[fullcravings]

Banana Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting

[malissawithan-a]

We moved June 2, closed on the old house on the 5th. Finally at a decent point in unpacking where areas are still bad but overall things have found homes. The goal this weekend is to get artwork on walls and make it feel more finished, hopefully get the extra boxes to storage to get more space back. I keep having to tell myself to be realistic about what we can get done and that we don’t need to get all the things off the list right away. That being said, we very much need a dining room table and chairs, that can’t wait.

[malissawithan-a]

This is the state of my house until Monday when we move. Beds are disassembled and mattresses are on the floor. Closing on the house next Thursday, new owners wanted to come by tomorrow with a painter but we said no, don’t need the extra chaos and we’re in the middle of a move. Getting to the end of this, thankfully.