Merida: Here is our deal: you teach me how to ride your dragon, and I teach you how to ride my horse.
Merida: And we convince our fathers that we are together. So you can explore the end of the world without fussing, and I can continue my archery training.
Hiccup :Yes… that's good. I'm in. You okay, Toothless? NO, don't eat THAT! He is your equivalent here!!!
Hiccup: Hey, am I doing that right?
Merida: Yeah, just hold the reins tight or you will fall.
Hiccup: I don't know what to do with all these ropes; they are confu... Hello, Astrid. What are you doi… I mean, how did you get here? It's way far from home!?
Astrid: I am Astrid, his supposed girlfriend. And how I did get here. I followed you all day but you were too idiot to notice me.
Merida :( (Snorting) She called you an idiot. Wait, what? His GIRLFRIEND!! Shit
Astrid: Well, you took your turn in questioning; now my turn. WHAT are you doing here, hiccup!?
Hiccup: Well, that's a good question that I don't know how to answer.
Merida (whispering furiously): You can't tell her anything; she will blow. Us out!
Hiccup: No, she won't. I'm afraid that won't be her first thought; she will kill us first, then think of what she should have done.
Merida: If she kills you, I’m not explaining this to your dragon.
Astrid: WELL, I AM WAITING FOR MY ANSWER. (Axe in the hand)
Hiccup: Okay, okay, listen. You know my father wanted me to marry, marry you, obviously. Stop interrupting me!! Then we had that problem with her father that I don't understand.
Merida: Neither am I, honestly.
Astrid: Your time is ticking.
Hiccup: Let me finish you tw…
Merida: Still don't trust her. Even if I like her—nice hair, by the way.
Hiccup: Will I trust her with my life? She is my girlfriend, soon to be my wife. Anyway, her father suggested an engagement to solve the problem and tighten our bonds and blah blah blah. And we were stuck, me and my father.
Merida: So I procrastinated and said we need to talk first... we don't know if we would like each other... My mother would be fascinated if we actually liked each other, so she agreed.
Hiccup: Then when we met, we decided to fake it for the sake of our people. And well, to get our fathers off our backs
Merida: And Mother... my mother is much harder than both of the men. We also agreed to teach each other the animals we ride during his supposed visits so we don't waste time. Then when things calm down
Hiccup: I will take you, Astrid, to explore the world, as we planned. And she will tell her parents that she is sick of me going away all the time and she doesn't want that marriage.
Merida: And when he comes back, he'll act weirdly, so my mom doesn't like him and just dismisses everything.
Astrid: (kicking him with the palm of the axe) YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME, YOU DUMBASS.