shit i missed bastille day

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@malmaisn-blog
shit i missed bastille day
apparently it's smooch day *:
truly , she loves this man , NAPOLÉON BONAPARTE , so many things at once : emperor of the french people , step-father to hortense and eugène , but above all , her husband . a fond smile makes its way to her face , a playful peck placed on his cheek . ‘ is it , mon bichon ? ’ JARRINGLY aware of the wedding ring around her finger ( au destin ! - always , my bonaparte . ) her hand goes to his jaw , tracing LOVINGLY one of the nicks constant made when shaving him .
she does not need to say more , leaning in for a proper kiss , at last . her eyes remain closed , forehead resting on his shoulder , but she is certain he can hear the SMILE in her voice . ‘ perhaps we should continue this in our chambers - you don’t want TALLEYRAND to catch us , do you ? ’
hiistoryerased .
“Where is my BROTHER?” The question escaped him more quickly than he could have even thought about what he was actually asking for; if he had still been able to reason PROPERLY at least.
Augustin’s head somehow ended up being pressed face-first into Joséphine’s shoulder when his feet slid apart on the marble floor against his own will, making him stumble, nearly FALL; well, not as if he would have cared much at the moment in the first place.
He already KNEW the answer, or believed to know it since right now there was actually not much he was really convinced of anymore; he has been told before what had happened, what could have happened to him if someone hadn’t decided that dragging him along was simply no fun at all.
But he didn’t remember, he didn’t WANT to. “JOSIE, I want to talk to my brother.”
marengo ; an VIII : cue a combat medic dragging a wounded fusilier from the field , to safety , to larrey . while the sound of cannon-fire is conspicuously absent & a stench of alcohol instead of mud and blood , she still plays the role of medic : returning robespierre le jeune to safety .
‘ oh , augustin ! ’ she closes her eyes ; memories of the revolution returning . and these are no happy memories - when robespierre fell , she was imprisoned , awaiting a fate on the scaffold . ‘ you know . . . ’ she is at loss for words ; falls still .
fortunately , they have almost reached destination ; joséphine lights a candle , guides him to his chambers , seating him on the bed . ‘ we will talk of your brother tomorrow morning . ’
ok but listen
“What is history, but a fable agreed upon?”
historical multi-muse penned by: JK
lostmemoriies .
“ oh , do not worry , madame ! fortuné is quite the precious little dog . “ frances - eleanor kneels down a bit to look at the small dog in the other’s arms , smiling widely . “ if anyone should apologize , it should be me for getting in this little one’s way ! “ chuckles amusedly , stands up straight to look in the other woman’s eyes .
‘ why , you aught to tell my husband ! ’ joséphine chuckles ; said husband unfortunately bears the marks fortuné’s teeth have left in his leg . fortuné growls - her grip tightens . not only napoleone has fallen victim to her pug’s teeth & she would rather avoid further incidents . despite all this ; she would not part with fortuné for all the money in the world - they go back a long time together . ‘ there still is a scar on the poor man’s leg . ’
🇫🇷
anyways a headsup that i’m exclusive with @hiistoryerased‘s muses
malmaisn:
starter / plotting call !
If Joséphine had been my mother, my father would not have been buried at Saint Helena, and I should not be at Vienna. My mother is kind but weak; she was not the wife my father deserved.
Napoléon II, le Roi de Rome and duke of Reichstadt to his friend Prokesch von Osten.
en attendant , mio dolce amor , reçois un millier de baisé ; mais ne m'en donne pas , car il brûle mon SANG. napoléon bonaparte.
sm h
‘So she was held high in the heart and still she is so, by her beloved children, by Alkinoös himself, and by the people, who look toward her as to a god when they see her, and speak in salutation as she walks about in her city. For there is no good intelligence that she herself lacks. She dissolves quarrels, even among men, when she favors them.’ - the odyssey
written by jo. est. 6.1.17
(credit)
malmaisn:
JOSÉPHINE INFIDÈLE : the first post in a series attempting to debunk the myths surrounding empress joséphine .
over the course of time , joséphine has been labeled many things - foolish , backstabbing , cheating , empty-headed , and god knows what else . this ‘ pop history ’ interpretation poses various paradoxes , hence they cannot be a truthful narration of her life and times .
among the most famous of allegations is the accusation of an affair with a hussar lieutenant , named hippolyte charles , during napoléon’s first italian and egyptian campaign .
THE ONLY source to mention said suspicions of an affair during the italian campaign is ANTOINE HAMELIN . how did hamelin and joséphine relate to each other then ? why , he was a merchant traveling with charles , JOSEPH bonaparte , jean-andoche JUNOT & josephine to italy . moreover , hamelin and joséphine had quarreled during said campaign and took a DISLIKE to each other - hence , the veracity of this source , especially considering it is not backed up by other sources , is questionable .
other sources are numerous , but they all share the fact that they are ostentatiously pro-napoléon and downplay joséphine’s role in the napoleonic era or had a personal reason to dislike the empress ! the same applies to any and all other mentions of affairs . the most important issue then , are these so-called ‘ love letters ’ by joséphine to charles .
there is a big likelihood they are false ! why , you ask me , they have been incorporated in the official corpus of joséphine’s correspondence . true , but those who ( among others bernard chevallier ) put together the corpus and provided it with remarks , have been very critical of said letters . the key to solving this is the origin of said letters - they were uncovered in 1955 by louis hastier , who claimed to have obtained them from family of lieutenant charles . ( le grand amour de joséphine ; 1955 . ) now , the big PROBLEM with those letters is that we have no facsimiles , no photographs , ONLY THE WORD OF LOUIS HASTIER - suspicious , no ? suspicious , you say , well , i have something to add to this : pierre branda ( joséphine : le paradoxe du cygne , 2014 ) researched this matter and talked with the descendants of lieutenant charles - they claim to know of nothing !
hiistoryerased .
“Nah, I’m not as think as you DRUNK I am.”
His reply, so dumbly skewed that it merely sounded like utter non-sense, was simply followed by a babbling laugh, hoarse & humorless as he forced a toothy grin upon his lips; only for the blink of a second, one could have easily missed it if not a closer look was granted his piteous self, his face twisted into a PAINED grimace.
Even though Augustin was hopelessly intoxicated, by now barely apperceived anything around him anymore, the numbing fog which filled the emptiness of his head like cotton wool didn’t even slightly EASE the whole mess that was going on inside of him; the alcohol only deprived him of the ability to cope with it like a reasonable adult.
Abruptly his legs seemed to break away underneath his own weight, he wasn’t supposed to walk or stand too long without his crutches in the first place, his fingers desperately grasping for anything that could have kept him from falling into the dark hole beneath; her arm, her HAND.
Instantly a small gulp escaped him.
“Joséphine, Joséphine; I feel so much, too much, everything HURTS. My legs, good God, my legs; wait, they were like this before, weren’t they? Ugh.”
he’s talking nonsense . excellent . she shakes her head , biting back a sigh , before continuing onward firmly - supporting the dead weight of his body with her own lithe frame : she feels bereft of all grace , an ox . his chambers surely aren’t that far - yet there is still the ghost of marie antoinette that roams les tuileries : she hates this . ‘ augustin , you are drunk , period . ’
his legs . . . pauvre homme . ‘ oui . . . mon ami , i know . ’ he’s drunk - she sees no point in commiserating with him right now , despite the tragedy that befell him : his own brother guillotined & he breaking his legs in an attempt to escape thermidorian supporters by jumping out of a window . it’s a wonder he survived .
‘ augustin ; you’ll be fine - trust me . look : i’m going to help you sober up a bit and then i’m putting you in bed , yes ? ’
oh , augustin - he’s such a dear : bonaparte’s old friend & one of the last remaining of the old jacobin regime . and frankly , she too has already taken a liking to him - it is nigh impossible to dislike him , at least in her eyes . but here he is , somewhat inebriated & stumbling along - time to intervene . bonaparte will have to THANK her later .
‘ augustin , you are drunk . ’ she speaks gently , but determined - whether he comes along willingly , or she has to drag the third consul along , he will come with her . ‘ augustin , dear , be nice and work along , will you ? ’ words echo , vanishing in the dark corridors of les tuileries as she puts his arm decidedly around her shoulder , intent to guide him to his own bedroom before he embarrasses himself further . / @hiistoryerased !
she is seasick , something immediately obvious when one considers rose has been hanging over the railing of the ship , her daughter next to her - firmly clutching mother’s hand . at last , she regains her composure , tho’ skin remains ashen - all color drained , yet , she still manages the smallest of smiles , for she endures it with fortitude . ‘ my sincerest apologies for having to watch that dreadful scene : i do not take well to the seas . ’ / @affettuosos !