Valentine’s 21 emotions.
I just need to let it out... It seems that my current partner does not really care about celebrations... He did ask me what I wanted to do and what did I want to eat. The thing is... I never had to answer these questions.
I am not used to being asked questions like this, from my previous experience, the other party always took control over the Valentine’s celebration and I liked it very much. I went to the Shard one year and then before that to one of the best restaurants in town ‘the Corinthian’ (with white gloves on and everything). It seems like I am reminiscent of the time where I had so much fun, the time that someone cared enough to book restaurants, buy me flowers. I just enjoyed it. The attention, the thoughtfulness, taking control over the celebration, flowers. This year... I had none of the above. And it hurt. Today I fight over the pet names you do NOT use... really? Why can’t you just send me ‘my love’, ‘honey’ from time to time? You did before, before the NYE, where everything has changed all of a sudden.
The more I write, the more I understand how miserable I must sound, but this is not the case. Even if I did not get flowers, he was very attentive, giving me love touches, cuddles. Which made me happy. Getting us chocolates and strawberries. The Russell cuddly toy. Prosecco was at the ready too. He thought I did not want flowers, the thing is, I always do. Please don’t use ‘we do not have a vase’ as an excuse, it simply does not work.
In the end, we bough McDonald’s... you got really full. And all of the affection and attention ended. No intimacy on a love day. I got frustrated. We were doing some painting at that time, well, I was, whilst you were watching TV and playing on your phone without even looking at me. You said you were following me to be with me in the same room, but what is the point of being in the same room if you still feel lonely?
Perhaps, it is just lockdown and it will all get better next year or is it that I had higher expectations and should have communicated them..?