two ravens in the old oak tree @mandabowles - Tumblr Blog

I don’t know how I’m meant to feel receiving that message off her. The kindest heart with the greatest intentions. But fifteen years later, surely life just moved on too much? How do I navigate this situation? How do I decide what’s right for me and how the hell do I tell him? This is a storm way bigger than a teacup. A wave bigger than anybodies eye-line and one I’m not sure I’m wanting to ride. I keep looking to you honey bee for the guidance

New York was a dream with you, I can’t wait for our next adventure together. Work may be rubbish but coming home to you is my favourite part of the day

It’s been almost a year in since I made the choice of a lifetime. Almost a year since I broke your heart, since I made a decision that looking back now we’re both happier for. However while we both have moved on it seems you’re not done in the quest to hurt me in return. You took two major beats of my heart with you, and whatever satisfaction you get from it I’ll never understand

Yes we’re adults who can make there own choices, but we’re also still such fickle adults who want to be adored by our friends and family. It’s so hard to sit in the background and not react nor give in to the temptation of giving you exactly what you wanted. And a friend was right ‘if they could do it after this long, imagine the damage after a lifetime’ but still the feeling cuts deep

I don’t regret the decision I made, I made a huge leap and found a love I didn’t realise even existed in a human. And well, this past year has been the biggest growth personally in so long. I’ve found peace, I’ve found self respect and I’ve found a new way of healing without a reaction. Not many people get a second chance at soulmates, and I’ll be damned if I waste mine. The journey to the person I want to be isn’t over, but to notice progress is something.

Gosh I’m so in love with you.

You fill my life with a feeling of home I’ve never felt before. You have given me a sense of who I want to be. For a future, for a sense of content like no other. Rebuilding a character is hard, especially when words have cut so raw. I love you forever

You broke everything today. One text with a thousand daggers and it hurt hard. I classed you as family. As somebody I could always count on. And now our memories are fond yet tarnished. I wish you all the best

imjust-a-girl

I dreamt about you after sam smith, the dream was so vivid you were stood right in front of me and the first thing you said was ‘now then’ stood chuffing like you always did. I woke up and just for a second it was like you were still alive. I hope you visiting was to tell me everything is okay

I’m scared of my head sometimes recently

The last few weeks have been a sheer test to the person I am. The grief I’ve felt has came over like a tidal wave and I’ve acted out beyond my better judgement. I didn’t just lose you the day you were found. But I lost my head in the process too. All I keep questioning is why over and over again. And although we laid you to rest only one week ago. I still feel the tidal wave covering my head. I’ve decided to take a time out for a little while. To try refocus on the person people used to love. One thing I’m certain on throughout the chaos is you. Whole heartedly with everything I have. You are the rock I wasn’t looking for but somebody I could not do it without. You deserve pure, kind love. And I hope In some small way each day I give you that. I’m sorry uncle nobhead come out, I just hope you know I’m working on it. For me, you and the future

I think I may have messed up everything. Through sheer grief and not having the ability to express how I’m feeling. How can I apologise and it get through to those that are important? Everything is fucked

5tn

thebestdamnthingsblog-deactivat

I don’t know how I’d have got through the last couple of months without you. You’re a pain in my ass, my world and the person that feels like home. Thank you for simply being you

I can’t stop thinking about you, over and over and over. You’ve visit my dreams, you keep appearing in my brain with a new funny story that’s came back to me all involving you. All those wonderful words people have written. The common ground in thought process of knowing that YOU were a complete diamond. So fun loving so kind, and such a huge part of so many lives. You didn’t deserve this, why did it happen to you? You’d battled through so many obstacles, we’d watched you grow. Watch you find true love. To end like this just feels cruel, a sick joke life thought it would play on us. You literally touched so many peoples lives and I doubt even now looking down you know that. You were one of a kind, so unapologetic and so forgiving to everybody. This tidal wave keeps coming and my head keeps spinning round. Why you?

Blessed to live in a home with great people

YOU

You are the person I’ve always been looking for, the light at the end of a long tunnel of failings. You are my sunshine, my happiness and the safety I hold so close. I used to freak out when I felt my heart falling for somebody. But with you I have no fear, no worry that my heart will be crushed. You have given me pure joy, taught me what real love looks like again. Our paths crossed so many times before but I’m so glad we started when we did. The future feels safe again, and I can’t wait to see what adventures are ahead with you. You are kind, beautiful and not afraid to say it how it is, and well I can’t help falling further for you.

thetypewriterdaily

gentle reminder🔮✨

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two ravens in the old oak tree