Thats the context for this meme???
I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.
I'm dying
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@manganeko96
Thats the context for this meme???
I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.
I'm dying
char is the funniest motherfucker alive
hes doing this for the bit
"there is no way you're not using chatgpt for at least a few things here and there no matter your stance on it" what the FUCK are you talking about
you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life
New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.
“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.
this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.
Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.
Billy Joel actually addressed this interpretation!
You know, good on him for just rolling with it.
First season of FMA:B is actually unreasonably funny because every episode at the 2 minute mark Ed goes “remember Al we can’t let anyone know our bodies are metal and we committed human transmutation. Because the military will probably execute us” and then every episode at the 14 minute mark Ed is screaming at the top of his lungs about how he and Al are made of metal and committed human transmutation. And also the President of the Military is there smiling and nodding and not giving a fuck because Ed is the military’s specialist little boy and he’s expressly permitted to commit murder in the streets and do arson and treason and tax evasion if he’s got enough hands for it and that’s completely fine because, as previously stated, he’s their specialist little sacrifice boy.
And also the military already knows he committed human transmutation and they think that’s really really great. It’s their favorite Edward Elric fun fact.
@redrobin-detective it is in fact a really great subversion of the “teenage protagonist successfully has the Adult Institution scrambling and fumbling, due to his cunning teenage wiles.” Ed DOES fancy himself cunning, but he’s literally only getting away with this because Bradley Is Letting Him. For the first several seasons they’re just letting him.
In the arc leading up to the Promised Day when all cards are out on the table, adult military strategist Roy Mustang is leading a charge against the establishment while Ed has faked his death and gone into hiding as, genuinely, the only thing he’s capable of doing on his own as a naive and scared 16 year old just trying to survive.
i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith i’d call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him
“Look here pal, I know my religion, and this ain’t it. Whatever this guy is, they’re clearly from your version of things. Mind coming over to help fix things up?”
#not my covenant not my malefactor
(Tags via @cicadianrhythm )
idk anything about this but I love it
If any competition needed to be on Tumblr, it's this one.
Zelda puzzle training simulator
It’s dangerous to go alone; take this:
they got married btw
oh you’re not kidding
Only day you can rb this
This post is like a fucking rosetta stone I've had the same theme song tagged in at least 6 languages so far
their love is so powerful that they can show me cartoons for free
I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me
phineas and ferb heritage post
[Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle spoilers]
I really liked the Akaza fight. I particularly liked the Akaza fight from Giyuu's perspective.
You are Giyuu. Upper Demon Three shows up. This is the guy who killed your dear friend (or guy you worked with. relationship is unclear). Every blow he deals is a blow to kill. You dodge and dodge and strike back. The demon wants to know your name. You say, "I don't like talking." Akaza says, "Great, because I don't shut up."
You save Tanjiro's skin a few times. Akaza decides to blast you 100 kilometers away so he can have a plot-relevant conversation with Tanjiro without you ruining it. You're too late-20's for this. You run 100 kilometers back to the scene of the battle. Your back hurts.
You start duking it out with Akaza now. REALLY full-throttle. Your mark appears which is gonna cut your lifespan or whatever. If Akaza doesn't cut your lifespan first. But he's matching your new power and speed! This is bad! Where's Tanjiro? He's--Tanjiro is just standing there. Like he's JUST standing there. He looks like he's thinking about something--and thinking is NOT this boy's strong-suit--but FUCK Kamado get IN HERE. HELP. DUDE. You can't keep carrying this team on your back, your back hurts.
Tanjiro's gone full NPC. Whatever. Guess he can betray you in death. Not worth your concern, because your full concern is on the demon who is beating you to hell. Like you are holding your own but this guy regenerates all his limbs!! That's not fair!! You're too many broken ribs in and too many quarts of blood-loss deep to waste time on the fairness of it all. Not when you're about to waste the rest of your time on the dyingness of it all.
Cuz yeah, you're done for. Spent. Akaza snapped your sword. You are deader than dead. You're pre-dead. You're alive enough to know just how dead you are. Akaza comes in for the final blow and--rather than wondering if you have any regrets--you wonder if you have anything in life you don't regret.
But wait, Tanjiro's up. He's not only not dead, he's different... somehow. And Akaza can't seem to sense him. You have a chance, maybe. If you can stall, maybe. If Tanjiro can get this sneak attack in, maybe.
Tanjiro yells "Akaza hey I'm gonna cut your head off now!!!!!" And you go back to counting your regrets.
Akaza spins around on Tanjiro. Tanjiro waltzes up to death's door and cuts Akaza's head off.
Wait what.
What.
Like he did a little spin flip and just. Clean off. One strike. Where did that come from. How. What the fuck.
Okay. Okay okay. Great. Awesome. I mean you loosened it, but whatever. Great. You did it. You won.
How the fuck did Tanjiro do that.
You consider asking Tanjiro but he like rolled over, threw up, and passed out. Fair.
But wait. Why the FUCK is Akaza's body still moving. Jesus fucking christ that's gotta be against the rules. Tanjiro's out cold. It's all you can do to distract the body from Tanjiro by getting your ass firmly kicked. You go back to counting your regrets.
You only manage to stall long enough for Tanjiro to wake up, but there's little else you can do. You and Tanjiro get to die conscious, against this body that cannot be killed--or at least not at the hands of two half-dead and bled-out swordsmen. Is this better? That both you and Tanjiro get to die conscious.
Akaza's headless body is regenerating its head. Akaza's headless body is preparing the same attack that killed your friend-coworker-situationship guy. You've read this book. You know how this ends. You die here, now, finally. Good, maybe. The back and forth was getting a little whiplashy. You can get back to finishing counting your regrets.
But Tanjiro has recognized the devastating attack too, and he's shouting a warning to you. You tell him to leave you behind. He doesn't. With the last of his strength, he runs and tackles you in a effort to save you from the blast radius. But it's futile. You're both within range. 10 kilometers is probably in range. You know what power lives inside that attack.
You brace. Akaza's body unleashes his final attack.
...Which Akaza uses to repeatedly punch himself in the head and the torso and the arms and legs and all over he punches himself punches himself punches himself stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself.
Akaza's head is gone again. His body is full of holes. He's just standing there.
The body is still regenerating. Akaza doesn't have a face but you somehow understand he's upset about this. Maybe embarrassed. You consider looking away, to be polite.
The body walks away. Stands there for a second. Kneels on the floor. Seems to be thinking about a lot of stuff. You don't want to be rude and interrupt. The body finally makes up its not-mind about something and just.... dies.
You and Tanjiro are alive.
You very loudly declare "What The Fuck."
You’re so right. Tanjiro “oops guess we’re doing hands now” Kamado and his mentor in the third stage of kidney failure.
If Obi-Wan had actually stayed on Mandalore with Satine after the Civil War and left the Jedi Order, it would've made The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones peak comedy.
Like, Qui-Gon would still be sent to Naboo and end up on Tatooine, he'd still meet Anakin and take him back to the Temple. But, in this AU, he survives the battle on Theed and takes Anakin as his padawan. And the entire Order would be making jokes:
"Congrats on the new padawan! Hope he sticks around longer than the last one!" "We'll keep this one off the bodyguard missions, eh Qui-Gon?"
So one day little Anakin’s like "hey master, what happened to your last padawan?" And Qui-Gon's like "oh he ran off with a girl, yeah he's royalty in the Outer Rim now".
And it's all fine and dandy until Anakin’s nineteen and they get assigned to protect Padmé, and Qui-Gon takes one look at this kid's face and thinks "You've got to be fucking kidding me, this shit again??"
@muffinlance how dare you leave this gold in the tags
Reblogging for the best fucking thing anyone has ever added to the tags of one of my posts
MAYBE THE THIRD WILL BE MARRIED TO THE ORDER HMMM?
I am fucking HOWLING with laughter over here