May we fall in love as sunlight
May we rise in love as moonlight
🙏🏽
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@mangofreshmango
May we fall in love as sunlight
May we rise in love as moonlight
🙏🏽
To recreate thru art. Life is short, enjoy every moment. Hhayi ukuthi ngiyakuthuma.
A dream is not merely a goal that is hanging around in future waiting for us to reach it. A dream is always there wherever we are, when we wake up, it wakes up with us. When we go to sleep it goes to sleep too. Whatever activity we engage in, it is there in the background or in the forefront. When people start getting known to everyone, we start thinking that it is because of luck or they got handpicked, haybo! Do you think it was possible for Steve Jobs to produce the iPhone without years of trial and error? Do you think Beyonce would be as big as she is today if she wasn't singing and perfecting her notes and dancing skills on the daily basis? It is not by accident that she is as good she is today. Her art is now effortless, it takes a lot of effort to arrive to a point of effortlessness. One crazy thing about dreamers is that whatever stage they are at with their dream it never feels like a dream. In fact, it is not a dream, it is just them expressing themselves. And because the energy loves their art immensely it becomes sort of an obsession. There is nothing else in the world they'd rather do. It makes them happy, it activates their juices, becoming a Beyonce is a bonus...
Oh how much I enjoyed sipping on my creative juices. This is boss writing from my varsity days, the year was 2015. And I was exhausted. All the time. With everything😪
My tutor used to like me. I always wondered why because I was the lowest performing student in class, so definitely not my grades😂 I am laughing now, it was not funny at the time. Looking back at these writings I think she might have caughted some juice-drops😉
I still am impressed by this progress. It has just reminded me that with focus anything can happen.
This above is my Grade 12 progress report. My main focus was mathematics. It was frustrating for me how I failed to score good points on tests and exams but understood almost every concept that Mr. Msezane, our maths teacher, introduced to us. After that score of 36% for March I said the magic word, no not adacadabra, FUCK IT! Yes, FUCK IT is the word, the magic word.
I reflected on my performance. I started studying patterns from my past tests and examinations. Where did I lack? I could identify some chapters that were giving me trouble in Physics and Chemistry but with Maths there was no pattern that I could find. That meant that I needed to search further, I rewrote my last exam which was a March exam. As you can see it was a flop. Thirty six percent? What? I knew I could do way better. When I rewrote the paper for myself in my room I scored way much better. And I discovered many things. One, I could not keep time. Two, I undermined myself, always thought Maths was difficult. Three, I had this huge fear for Maths and my maths teacher, I remember sweating like an athlete in my maths exam and I was asking myself, what is it that I am afraid of?
From my March exam, knowing exactly where I lacked I approached my next exam, June, with a warrior's attitude. I almost forgot the most important thing that I discovered, it was that I moved with no intention. I used to do math problems almost every single day just for the enjoyment of it. There was no reason that I should fail an exam. But because I did not put enough emphasis on the fact that I wanted to pass exams, I failed. When I studied with enough intent of passing, I passed.
Just so that this does not go to waste. I feel the need to complete the picture. This is my progress below.
March: 36%
June: 76%
September: 57%
December: 89%
Magic word: FUCK IT!!!
I feel like my mind naturally wants wants to learn about things and it suffers when it has to fix things.
People love by default. By default everyone already loves. I just need a context. And there is no other context that I can think of than to share what my heart feels from moment to moment. To share this artistically would be a good idea, but not all good ideas get to be implemented.
I feel somewhat same as Nov. last year when I left neck chakra
Lost ma phone the week before last. Story for another day, and a juicy one I'm telling u.
But since can't update ma progress on my calender I'll do it here from now on.
Lately head feels light. But dreams of me running away scared yerr. Perhaps I have not properly dealt with the PTSD from my phone hijacking 🤦
I miss ma dad, I really do, I know we weren't close but i miss him so bad😔 I'm going through some changes yet I need to make some major decisions in life yet I have no one to guide me. My mother is going a difficult time of her own😔 disconnected from my family, I feel so alienated. I guess I'm going to be alright, I guess this just one of god's jokes.
Dear father
I'm sorry I didn't pay enough respect to your sudden passing , I needed time to grow . And your passing has led me to this , this growth. When u passed away the damage was already done, I was already stuck 6 feet underground stuck with nothing but darkness around me. I remember that for a long time I was searching for god. But really I was just searching for you dad and after u passed away I gave up on the search of God and I started searching for the ultimate truth about my existence and existence as a whole.I needed to know where you had gone.This was back in 2016. I would like to tell u dad that now existence is searching for me. I was seeking u and now u are seeking me.
I'm sorry I didn't pay enough respect to your sudden passing , I needed time to grow . And your passing has led me to this , this growth. When u passed away the damage was already done, I was already stuck 6 feet underground stuck with nothing but darkness around me.
Somehow we will meet , I'll tell you all about what u missing in the world and you'll tell me all about heaven. Deal? And I will tell the world about it, for you and for mama.
Love
Mlondi❤️
I don't dream anymore. This place is lower than sadness yet much higher than happiness. Sadness is a mere fall it is the whole surface. Happiness is a mere jump it is the whole sky. My goodness! I am in love. Yazin futhi lemme kiss ma teeth MNCWAAA!!!
Moods are very important.
Not that it is important to be swayed around by them but it is important to watch them.
To watch them as they come, to watch them as they leave.
They come from a beautiful place. A place of sensitivity, colour and growth.
The more I watch them is the more they become a rainbow colour spectrum, then I remember what's watching the spectrum is colorless.
I find myself unsettled. I'm excited because I've just noticed the possibility that I might be heading towards yet another milestone.
MI
My two friends from varsity, there was never a dull moment with these two idiots🤣🤣 I love them to death♥️ And this conversation is hilarious but wait till u actually physically find them together at one place 🤣 I enjoyed every moment with these two, even moments I thot I didn't.
The message I sent to Emtee back in 2018. Groupie moments are speshial, I still have not changed the I feel about him.
TEACHER: how old will u be in 5 years?
MY FRIEND: 23 years old ma'am.
MY SARCASTIC FRIEND: I'll be 5 years older ma'am.
ME: me too ma'am I'll be 5 years old.