Jeana the crafty goddess

Many Moons Craft Studio

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[manymoonscraftstudio]

From a box of beautiful turquoise beads, to an absolute stunning statement necklace!  I love making my clients happy! 

[manymoonscraftstudio]

shifting

So many signs, so many things that come to mind.  The universe works in mysterious ways and sometimes, you are blindsided by it.  I have been sick for the past 10 days now, off work, per doctors orders sick.  And I think this is called a spiritual shift? because while sick, I can’t stop thinking about my Wiccan path... How for the past 3 months, I have been teaching my youngest daughter what I know and for some reason, I just think this is a shift.   I really started to feel this  when I went to White buffalo spiritual healing and gifts, in Anoka, MN...  First, I got so much anxiety before going to this place but knew I wanted to go there and experience it.  I knew this would be a wonderful source of knowledge and witch supplies.   I felt so calm, so comfortable, so serene when I was in this shop.  I knew things, I saw things, I met Thor the beautiful white dog that greeted us when we arrived.  It just felt all right.  I connect with the cashier and she was so in tune with me and I to her... It was magically, literally.  And the spiritual shift got so much stronger after that visit.  The day went great, started feel better, in the sickness area... Sunday went better, but then Monday came and I went back work... And about an hour into the day, I started to feel the sweats again, the cough came back, the chills, the aches... the stuffiness... The miserable feeling sick.  I pushed through the day and went home to my husband worried because he said, I was so pale and looked worse than last week.  hmmm...is the work environment?  I explained to me the day and he was just baffled.  I went into the doctor on Tuesday and got on meds for asthma exasperation and bronchitis, with an upper respiratory infection, the meds are helping me feel better but I mostly think it is because I can focus on healing me and not worry about that job.  Not a bad job but not what I want to do anymore and I think that is where the problem lies...  I just know there is more out there for me..  I can do more and I some times, more now after this spiritual shift, feel like I am wasting my time at this job...  I know that is not the best thing to be feeling ... but can’t deny the feeling either.  I just know that there is more for me, my witchy path is guiding me to where I need to be, where I can thrive and be happy in what I do.  For that, I am grateful.  

on a super fun note, I have been working in the studio cleaning, decluttering, finding and sorting... so much peace in this and so much needed.  

[iglovequotes]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[manymoonscraftstudio]

yes, so much of this.. 

[manymoonscraftstudio]

Be better at you

I am learning each day to be better at me... I love me and I am the only me there is, so I better take care of me.  I have some health issues, but prevailing... I found myself  back on my Wiccan path and I have my youngest daughter to thank for that.  Of course, the goddesses knew this day would come and I can only believe that it was meant to be and that my oldest, will find her way too...  We have been holding Wicca sessions for the past 8 weeks now... and she is learning so much.  I am so proud of her, she completed her first grimoire in 4 weeks and has started her second edition with in the past week.  This has brought my mind to all new level.  Like, I finally feel I am worth enough and I am feeling the confidence in myself.  I have been on this path since 2004.  15 years is a very long time, and there is so much I will continue to learn, for eternity.  And that just makes me smile.  Even with the few years of silence because life gets in the way sometimes, it was if my path knew I would come back and I picked up right where I left off...  I thank the gods and goddesses for “saving my spot in line” so to speak and also, know that my flesh and blood would too want to learn the old ways.  To honor our ancestors and walk to honor the earth.  This blog is going to become my crafty witchy bloggy, LOL  :-) <3 Oh and I just can’t wait to get things going... Stay tuned!

[manymoonscraftstudio]

times are hard

Man, things are just down for me right now.  I am just in the pit of anxiety, I cry every single day and I every single day I think I can’t make it.  But  I do.  I don’t know who my true friends are, I don’t know if I have been a true friend  to anyone?   I haven’t done any arts or crafts in about 2 months, well nothing significant.  I started this job in August and I have been focusing on that, which is not bad... but what is bad, my lack of creativity, my lack of excitement to craft and my lack of interest in crafting.  That scares me because art and crafts are my jam... It is what makes me happy and joyful.   I tried to get back into the happy planner thing again... and while it is helping some, I can’t afford to get a new on for 2018... So I guess I will have to try and DIY a planner for 2018.   

There was so much more I wanted to blog about but my mind is just mush.  And seeing how I still have to work today, I best get focusing on that.  

blessed be 

[manymoonscraftstudio]

Trying to start a business is exhausting... Actually, just living our daily lives is exhausting.  My life plate has been full.  My emotions have been running wild and my guardian angel is on a sabbatical.  Needless to say, I am feeling discombobulated, confused and like I hit a road block.  I am trying to get out and I think I am doing an okay job.  I know my body is soar and beat up but I still manage to get up every day and move forward.  Trying very hard to keep the negative out and allow the positive to come in.  In the studio, creative blocks but overcoming them is working well.  If that even makes sense.  I am in the middle of making a client a custom made sporty stretchy MSU bracelet. Finding beads are hard for this so want to custom make polymer clay beads.  TOUGH.  Mixing colors is challenging.  I am staying positive I can do it.  If not, I will have to order beads...and while that isn’t a bad thing. I really want to custom make beads. Not just now, but for future clients as well.   So brushing up on color mixing is a very good thing.  

Art journal is becoming a thing for me.  Altered books and photo frames have also become an interest.  Actually, the whole mixed media thing is really becoming to me.  I want to make more and do more up cycling with things.  

I inquired about a craft fair.  I think I want to start back into that.  Vintage fairs or flea markets too.  I want to start “craft sessions” where I bring a few people for a couple hours and we create something together using a super fun mixed media art technique.  I would serve some cheese and wine, along with other fun snacks.  just seems like a great way to connect with people in regards to art.  I want to pitch this to someone so bad and just start it but I get hit by a brick wall and end up blogging about it or writing it in my journal. Boy, if my journal could talk?  I would be so damn successful.  I just need to get out there and let my networking skills, that people tell me I have, and make this shit happen!!!?  Why am I so afraid?   

[manymoonscraftstudio]

Galaxy in creativity

[manymoonscraftstudio]

JC Carter Many Moons Craft Studio

Many Moons Craft Studios... Fun interactive!!! Making happy things to put happy in the world.

My YouTube channel. This is so basic right now, as I am learning.  I did a video the other night... And can’t seem to get out of the studio since i been back from vacation.  Lots of fun stuff happening, stay tuned... 

[manymoonscraftstudio]

dreams

What is Many Moons Craft Studio? What is the drive, where does the creativity come from? Questions I have asked myself several times, repeatedly. I finally sat down recently and wrote it all out. A journal of thoughts, if will.  Everything I have been driving for.  What do I want this business to be. Where do I fit it this? What roles I am going to play? I am jewelry designer but I am also an artist, crafter and blogger. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and sometimes you can't see that. I have osteoarthritis in my knees that you can't see, that make it hard to walk sometimes.  I live with PTSD from emotional and physical abuse from my first marriage, that I hide underneath it all. I still struggle with accepting myself for who I am and reminding myself how very beautiful I am inside and out. I live with all of this daily.  I have found a way to deal with it and not let it take hold of my life.  These are just illnesses, they do not define who I am.  I define who I am and I am going to take these things that have held me down and make them work for me.  

My story isn't like anyone else, just like your story isn't like anyone else's. My art has been an expression of my journey in life. My ups and downs, my mistakes, my challenges. My jewelry represents stones, gems and natural elements that send soulful energy throughout. Positive vibes sending energy down the spine that leaves tingles of enjoyment because I just made something SPARKLY! Something that, when I wear it, I will feel empowered.  Many Moons Craft Studio is a place where I can express my feelings, whether good or bad, the joys, the struggles, my life... YOUR LIFE. The studio is for those illnesses that aren't seen on the outside but come alive visually from the inside and become precious pieces of art. The studio and myself want to bring art alive... Teach artistic techniques to somebody suffering from PTSD from military services, domestic violence, sexual abuse… whatever hides you from being you.  Let it come out artistically

And while I spread positive artistic energy in to the world, I will still be custom making my jewelry and art pieces for sale.   My full-service studio will be alive with vibrant and beautiful art that will speak volumes.

This is what I want for my studio, my business… my dream…    I want to pitch this to a marketing guru, someone who can tell me yay or nay?  This is great or this is a stupid… or whatever! All my life I have been so worried about what others think of me and I get to afraid to stand up for myself, or do something that means something to me.  I have been down so many avenues to find where I fit in and how I belong. But you know what, I do fit in.  I am just as weird, fun, calm, crazy, balanced, unbalanced artist out there.  I just need to believe in myself.   Realizing that finding this point, this belief that I can do this studio exactly as I stated and be successful, is the just the beginning.  Continuing those feelings and thoughts, is the key to being successful in this.  

[manymoonscraftstudio]

so many thoughts

My mind has been on overdrive for that past 3 weeks.. I started a morning gig serving donuts and coffee at a cute little local shop.  Easy money... but since then, I have like hit a wall on my business...and funny, I had got a huge epiphany or super great idea for my business and I haven’t done much research in that.  I haven’t done anything really and today, was the first day I started to really think about it.  Did my mind need this?  Did I need this?  Did my conscious know to break from business and get this job thing down?  I don’t know but I some how walked in to the studio this evening and felt a spark of inspiration and hope!  I have had a roller coaster ride this last month honestly, knee scare, anxiety attack, news that needs time to grasp and starting this new job...   I am feeling a little stronger that i can get into a structured routine and move this life! 

Still trying to get into the happy planner thing, I am trying really hard because I love the concept but I think I would rather just make my own.. Or just use my witches planner and add the creative aspect to that.    I have neglected my studio for awhile now...  It is still purge mode, which is where i left off...  So now to find the spirit and strength to re-vamp studio and get seriously down to business...  Got money coming in now, so financially we should be able to get caught up, and I feel better about myself again.. I good that I am doing what i can for my family. Depression can take you depths of sometimes, no return.  I have for some time now, felt like I don’t matter because I have now badly I was emotionally abused.  I lived for several years believing I wasn’t good enough to do anything.  In fact, I lost jobs because my ex would do things to get me in trouble and the when  I would lose the job, he would blame me and tell me it was because I wasn’t good enough...  20+ years to crawl out of that hell... with two girls on my side...but here I am now...Knowing my worth, feeling better about me every day... living my life and be thankful to find real and true love.  to find someone who fell in love with me,, who I am and didn’t want to change me.  that is real.  It helped me get out of this current hole I was in..but thinking this blog even helped come out some.  

Thank goddess for black tea, computers and zz-top in the back ground for some real soul searching...  

[manymoonscraftstudio]

The best me I can

It is true, I am being the best me I can.  I turned 45 on Wednesday and well, remember reflection?  I did just that and I stopped comparing myself to others.  I am me.  I am kind of just getting stared in my life... My girls are all grown up, my youngest graduating from high school this year.  I am remarried to amazing man that wants to take adventures with me... not only that, he gets me.  He loves me for me... and that is huge.. .that helped me love me.  I am not in my past anymore... and I need to stop looking back because frankly, I am not going that direction anymore, I am moving forward.  :-)   I have been purging the studio, sketching out designs, taking classes, learning on line and just really digging into knowledge for my business.  It feels good, scary but good.  I even decided that trying to blog every day or at least a few more times a week, doing more planning in my planner, pepping myself up to do a video and start a YouTube channel.  I really want Many Moons Craft Studio to get out there.  I want to start selling unique creations and teaching art to those that might not get to play with art a lot or youth  that are stricken with poverty, to help the mentally challenge make a creation they can be proud of, show off and give them self worth...Wait? what did I just type? Did I just have a flipping epiphany?  Did I just find the purpose of my business?   damn..deep and I gotta think on this out.   

To the studio purge...  I watched a YouTube video on purging crafts don’t use anymore.   For instances, stamps, pads and inks, embellishments, ribbons, wood projects, just things that you know that in your hearts they are cool and all but are am I a really going to use them for something?  And you have to think, have i used recently?  There is so much in the studio that I don’t use anymore, don’t even have an interest in... so why not purge and either sell it off or donate it to charity.  

[manymoonscraftstudio]

reflection

SO my husband said he thinks I really need to reflect on what I want to do with my life.  WOW, ya think?    LOL!  Actually hearing that from him, was kind of an eye opener.  Like, I knew this but hearing from my soulmate was, a reflection in itself.   I have already been doubting something lately but I don’t want to doubt rather than evaluate.  I want to have my own business, I want to craft gorgeous things and teach people how to do small little crafts and diy projects to enrich their homes, or make some cool for a gift.  I just know i want to be creative.  I just don’t feel groovy sitting in a cubicle anymore.. I just think I was meant to be creative and work in an artistic field.  I know i can make this happen but I am so damn scared to learn all there is to learn to do this... I am scared to fail or to be told I don’t have a good idea or this will never work.  I need confidence...  I really do.  I need to think better of myself and believe in me and that I can do it.   

[manymoonscraftstudio]

Got on this planner kick...  I actually really love it and being that I am such a creative person by nature, this is just the thing I need to try and feel my life in balance.  I figured out by watching tutorials, how to add pages with out having to buy the 30 dollar fancy hole puncher for these happy planners.  Some day I will probably break down and buy one of those punchers but for right now, this will do fine.  I am just learning how to do this so, so I am sure as i got it will get better and better.  I am using it for life in general and adding business stuff in it too.  I have witchy planner as well, and I now i am like, I have these planners, why the hell doesn’t my life feel balanced?  THE JOB thing, that is what is the void.. the income, stability and positive vibes for my self worth.  It will happen and until then, I have to make this business work.  I have to blossom this thing!  Must stay confident!  easier said than done but keep on pushin’!   Maybe I need to makes this planner \work for my business too!?  

[manymoonscraftstudio]

me day

I was told by my husband, that today I was to shut my mind off and just do me.  Do what makes me happy, even if it is just watching Netflix and chill all day. .  He is an amazing man and I can not imagine my life with out him.   As the depression from not having a job, turning 45 and my business not as far as I wanted it to be by now, is really try hard to take me down,  I think a “me day” is much accepted.   

[manymoonscraftstudio]

Goodness...

It was tough but I got through. Dark days, the demons of depression really took a toll on me last week.  I hadn’t been that dark in a long time...  Most importantly though, is that I got through.   I am bouncing back well and just taking each day at a time.  Not trying to dwell on things I can’t change and change the things I can.   Great advice my father told me once.  I got into making a baby shower gift for my nephews wife.  Their baby is due March 8th and I am pushing for closer to the 1st.. which is my birthday! :-)  Here is a couple pictures of what I made for my great niece Dottie!   I can’t wait to meet her!  

[manymoonscraftstudio]

meh

Not much better today... I woke up in a panic, mostly because I don’t want to to go this appointment for my mom.  There is so much anxiety it hurts and I just got in a foul mode... Ended up sort of fighting with Dylan, over the truck and me being worried about him this shitty truck and not wanting to be without my truck.  I sent him a text message that probably caused him to just give up on me all together and he responded an hour later that my truck was in the parking lot.  So cried hard about that because I hate myself for making him feel as if he needed to leave it.  More so because I am not going to that appointment.  So now i have my truck but he is in the shitty truck and I feel like crap because I caused this again.  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?  I am depressed. . I need to get out today, to just do me.  Think about me.  I know it sounds selfish but I can’t worry about what others think right now.  It is clear I have slipped pretty far this time.  I have cried for 2 days straight now... My eyes hurt and I thought I didn’t have that many tears, but they seem to keep coming.  I have this hold in my stomach, this void that i can’t seem to fill and I am not sure what I am missing?  Is it a job?   Self worth?  I am lacking self worth..  I person need to feel wanted and good about their lives.  I can’t stop thinking about turning 45 and really have nothing.  I have no job, I have no business, I have a good man but I am afraid I will lose him because of lacking most everything that attracted him to me in the first place.  I can’t even help my kids right now and that hurts more than anything.  So I really gotta find some peace and positive today.  I have to believe that this is just a little step back and that i will prevail and crawl out of this.  Right?  I am better than this depression. I know that... I know that... I just need to continue to convince myself I know this.  Which is the hardest part.  Even harder is missing Dylan and knowing his thoughts.. .and how is feeling right now?  that is what I hate.  I left text message for my sister and a message for my mom.  I know my sister is pissed off and I know and can feel that she is taking bad about me... but I just don’t care.  I can’t care.  I have to care about me and because I care so much about my mom and about others think,  I have fallen.  Best way for me to get up is to take time for me.  Writing is helping..  I think talking to someone will help too.  I do plan to get out of the house.  I know that will help some too.  I know what I need to do and going that appoint was not one of them.