manda panda @maplebaymanda-blog - Tumblr Blog

my daughter is cool

#ᴀ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ᴏғ sɪᴍᴘʟᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅs (amanda)#ɪᴍ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʙᴜsʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ? (queue)

obscenely domestic starter sentences

❝ Stop man-handling the ice cream! ❞ ❝ Change the channel and I’ll kill you. ❞ ❝ You actual shit, you started without me!? ❞ ❝ Since I’m up, by default I will get your _____. ❞ ❝ Did you just throw a sock ball at me!? ❞ ❝ How about this, how about you fight the rest of the cereal by yourself and I’ll courageously make pancakes for those of us who want a little warmth in our mornings. ❞ ❝ Whiskey is a breakfast staple, anyone who says otherwise is fucking lying. ❞ ❝ My underwear are now bright pink because of you, thank you very much. ❞ ❝ Can you stop kicking me? ❞ ❝ I don’t go shopping I get and retrieve. I have a narrow focus, unlike some people. ❞ ❝ Did you walk the dog? ❞ ❝ You, me, PJ’s, pizza, bed. The PJ’s are optional. ❞ ❝ Only you could make the idea of beating up already dead meat sound attractive. ❞ ❝ I can feel you staring at me, why don’t you just come in? ❞ ❝ Good news; we have internet again! ❞ ❝ I don’t want to file taxes, why don’t you be the adult? ❞ ❝ You snuggling me over an open flame is an invitation for my nipples to disappear. ❞ ❝ I know you’re scared of my mother but contemplating arson isn’t the way to fix this. ❞ ❝ I installed a stripper pole while you were gone because it made me think of you. ❞ ❝ All I was doing was helping the barista learn to spell my name properly. The song and dance should NOT have gotten you that embarrassed. ❞ ❝ How about we just never mention this again? ❞ ❝ Have you seen my earrings/necklace/rings? ❞ ❝ You are literally the child we both want/neither of us want. ❞ ❝ Did you call the doctor about that? ❞ ❝ Let me pop it, just let me pop it, nothing bad will happen, I swear! ❞ ❝ You almost left me at the gas station! ❞ ❝ Alright look! Next time you want to barbecue with the hair dryer, just make sure I’m home! ❞ ❝ I didn’t think the sink had this much water inside of it. ❞ ❝ Don’t be mad, but _____. ❞

Bonus for multi-lingual situations: ❝ Can you translate the news for me? None of this makes sense. ❞ ❝ What is the word for this? *points at ____* I keep wanting to say ‘printer’ but I feel that is wrong. ❞ ❝ Next time she calls you a ____ you just reply with _____. ❞ ❝ I’m sorry but my pronunciation must sound really bad to you. ❞ ❝ Shit! The government doesn’t have my alphabet, put this in a way I understand! ❞ ❝ Can you finger spell that for me, I’m not quite up to that level yet. ❞ ❝ That was said so horribly wrong but you sounded very cute while trying. A for effort. ❞

#ᴀᴍᴀɴᴅᴀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴀᴜɢʜs. sʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ. (meme)#ɪᴍ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʙᴜsʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ? (queue)

my hair is VERY soft and could EASILY be played with and you know how many people are playing with my hair??? zero

#ʟᴇᴍᴍᴇ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴏɴ ᴀ ᴘᴏᴛ ᴏғ ᴄᴏғғᴇᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ. ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ ɴɪɢʜᴛ (musings)#ɪᴍ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʙᴜsʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ? (queue)

gumtooth

everyone’s favourite daughter 🐼

#ᴀ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ᴏғ sɪᴍᴘʟᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅs (amanda)#ɪᴍ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʙᴜsʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ? (queue)

unfuck-it

you fucked up

idk what you’re referring to but probably

robertsmallisntsmall

#[ its the minigame song.......... blessed ]#ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ ɪs ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜsɪᴄ (a/v)#ɪᴍ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʙᴜsʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ? (queue)

kevinobsessed-deactivated201908

Dream daddy children icons!!

#[ i want to love and support them ]#ᴛʜɪɴɢ 1 (christie)#ᴛʜɪɴɢ 2 (christian)#ʟᴇss ᴄʀᴇᴇᴘʏ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴡɪɴs ʙᴜᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴄʀᴇᴇᴘʏ (chris)#ʏᴜɴɢ ᴍᴀɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇᴀ (ernest)#ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴀ ᴘᴜɴᴋ ʙᴀɴᴅ (carmensita)#sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴇᴍᴏ ᴘʜᴀsᴇ (lucien)#ᴀ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ᴏғ sɪᴍᴘʟᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅs (amanda)#ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɪʀᴘʟᴀɴᴇ (river)#ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴛᴡɪɴ (briar)#ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴛᴡɪɴ (hazel)#ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀs ɪ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ 10 (daisy)#ᴋɪᴄᴋᴀss ʟᴇsʙɪᴀɴ (val)#ɪᴍ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʙᴜsʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ? (queue)

MUSE:

name: amanda ann (dadsonalastname™) nickname: manda panda zodiac sign: gemini/cancer cusp gender: cis female favorite color: all shades of purple average hours of sleep: 3-6 hours of sleep. she lives life on the edge last thing you googled: why are dogs so good height: 5′3″

MUN:

name: mary nickname: marebear, mary berry, please give me more nicknames i would sacrifice my soul for more zodiac sign: gemini gender: god i wish i knew (any pronouns) favorite color: anything pastel, yellow, blue, etc average hours of sleep: either 2 or 10 there is no inbetween last thing you googled: knifes or knives (for a possible future english major im fuckin bad at english) height: 5′2″

tagged by: @und-e-ad

tagging: @semiprocryptidhunter @bloodmarchingband @bloodandtaxidermy @afathersduty @lungodigger @whorcwifc

#[ you don't have to if i tagged to i just picked some writers/characters im interested in knowing more abt!! ]#ᴀᴍᴀɴᴅᴀ ᴇxᴄᴜsᴇs ʜᴇʀsᴇʟғ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴀʀɢᴜᴍᴇɴᴛs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀɴᴇᴛ (ooc)#ɪᴍ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʙᴜsʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ? (queue)

everkillaman

“Your silence has cost me so much manda,” Robert growled, not being able to stifle his laughter afterwards. The older man shot finger guns back with a smile. “You do realize that you’re starting to look like me now…the knives. Badass jacket.”

“ No one can say no to this face! It’s a proven fact! ” Seeing that she had made him smile brought a big grin to her own face.

“ ... Hm. I never noticed! I’m even getting the cool hand scars, too! The perfect impersonator. ” They were tiny cuts at best, and she was still a long ways away from Robert levels of hardcore. She’s making her best effort, though.

#v: ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ #; everkillaman #[ god please someone needs to deal with them ]#[ Its Time To Stop ]

@semiprocryptidhunter:

“Maybe one day you’ll step it up to be able to call me Rob. Robby is off limits, though.” He decided quickly. “Don’t tell anybody, though.”

Robert liked the gal’s enthusiasm, thats all you needed to be a good hunter, really. A willingness to learn and to be excited about running through the woods. “First thing– Mothman is bullshit, you gotta know that and keep that in mind. Total shit, not even a little bit real.”

“ SWEET. ” Progress is progress is progress!

“ Wait, he’s faaaaaake? I thought the Mothman was cool! He apparently also sucked a lot of peoples’ dicks behind an Arby’s but I don’t think that’s entirely related. ” AMANDA ANN.

“ No Mothman. Total shit. Got it. What else do I gotta know?”

#v: ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ #; semiprocryptidhunter #[ teach her to hunt cryptids robby. do it ]

@everkillaman:

Reaching into his leather jacket, Robert pulls out a dark green switchblade, placing it in the young girls hands. “How many have I given you now?”

She took it excitedly, inspected it, flicked it open once- she was able to do that without nicking herself now- then put it in her jacket pocket before giving him finger guns.

“ Waaaaay too many! Dad still doesn’t know I’m harboring this many pointy objects in his own home, though, so that’s what really matters. ” She can keep a secret when she wants to.

#v: ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ #; everkillaman #[ someone take these knives from her what have you done robert ]

bileshroom

Tobias’s-dark-secret.png

#[ OH MOOD ]#ᴘᴏᴘs (dadsona)#ᴀ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ᴏғ sɪᴍᴘʟᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅs (amanda)#ɪᴍ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʙᴜsʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ? (queue)

@semiprocryptidhunter:

“I know how you feel, kiddo.” Robert patted her shoulder and cracked a grin, though that spicy look had him raising an eyebrow.

He gave a small frown at the nickname and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You call me Robby, an’ you can kiss your cryptid hunting privileges goodbye, Amanda. Stick to ‘Robert’, for both of our sake.”

“ Awww. You’re no fun, Rob... ert. ” Good girl. “ Nicknames are way better than you give them credit for! Look at me, dad calls me ‘Manda Panda’ and I’m just fine! ” She huffed in defeat, and moved on to a non-nickname based topic.

“ So, what do I gotta know to be a pro cryptid hunter like you???”

#v: ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ #; semiprocryptidhunter

@everkillaman:

“That man is actually Satan, im sure if it.” He nodded, ignoring the reaction from his friends daughter. “I’ll give you a sharp knife if you keep that from your dad.”

“ ... You know exactly how to buy my silence. ” Amanda holds out a hand. “ Knife me, Robby. ” She’d ask herself ‘what would pops say’, but she knows what he would say, and she subsequently does not care.

#v: ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ #; everkillaman

@kegcraig:

“Oh, marinara sauce is a smoothie. Just… not one I’ll ever think about drinking again.” The man chuckles, shrugging, he thinks about all those college stories that Amanda may or may not know about, but remembering half of those makes him shudder– sure, they were good times, and they’re funny to look back on with his old friend, but something about the youth knowing some of them made him slightly uncomfortable. She’s got the receipts to ruin his life, probably, not that she’ll use them, but you know.

“You can’t promise to ride my shoulders? I guarantee I could lift you.”

Craig could blame pops for that one. He offered that information up without her even asking. And so long as Craig doesn’t give her a reason to use them it’s fine! If he marries her dad she won’t be able to so just consider that.

“ Oh, you definitely could! You could bench press me. That’s not what I’m avoiding here. ”

“ ... Not that I’m avoiding anything. ” Yeah, Amanda. Sure.

#v: ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ #; kegcraig #[ its fiiiiiiiiiiine ]

@everkillaman from here.

“Satan can attract anything. Trust me, I slept with bible boy.”

“ YOU WHAT. ” THAT’S HER NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR. SHE’LL NEVER LOOK AT HIM THE SAME. SHE CAN’T BABYSIT HIS KIDS ANYMORE. (Actually she still can it’s good money. Dad taught her the right priorities).

#v: ʀɪɢʜᴛ. ʏᴜᴘ. ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀʏ.#; everkillaman

lottewrites

HAMILTON : AN AMERICAN MUSICAL → STARTERS

❛ he was longing for something to be a part of. ❜

❛ and the world is gonna know your name. ❜

❛ there’s a million things i haven’t done, but just you wait. ❜

❛ you never learned to take your time. ❜

❛ talk less…smile more. ❜

❛ who’s the best? c’est moi! ❜

❛ the plan is to fan this spark into a flame. ❜

❛ i’m not throwing away my shot. ❜

❛ i may not live to see our glory, but i will gladly join the fight ! ❜

❛ they’ll tell the story of tonight. ❜

❛ tomorrow there’ll be more of us. ❜

❛ i’m looking for a mind at work. ❜

❛ look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. ❜

❛ oh my god. tear this dude apart. ❜

❛ i will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love… ❜

❛ dying is easy, young man… living is harder. ❜

❛ then you walked in and my heart went ‘boom’! ❜

❛ you look at me and suddenly i’m helpless. ❜

❛ i am so into you. ❜

❛ i’m just saying if you really loved me, you would share him. ❜

❛ love doesn’t discriminate from the sinners and the saints. ❜

❛ i’m willing to wait for it. ❜

❛ i am the one thing in life i can control. ❜

❛ call me son one more time —…. ❜

❛ i don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing. ❜

❛ that would be enough. ❜

❛ and we could be enough. ❜

❛ let me a part of the narrative in the story they will write one day. ❜

❛ you have no control : who lives, who dies, who tells your story. ❜

❛ history has its eyes on you. ❜

❛ awesome. wow. ❜

❛ i’ll make the world safe and sound for you. ❜

❛ why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? ❜

❛ what’d i miss? ❜

❛ run away with us for the summer. ❜

❛ take a break. ❜

❛ well, hate the sin, love the sinner. ❜

❛ no one else was in the room where it happened. ❜

❛ and then we’ll teach them how to say goodbye. ❜

❛ we both know what we know. ❜

❛ i will choose her happiness over mine every time. ❜

❛ god, i hope you’re satisfied. ❜

❛ i saved every letter you wrote me. ❜

❛ you built me palaces out of paragraphs. ❜

❛ be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive. ❜

❛ when you were mine, the world seemed to burn. ❜

❛ the world has no right to my heart. ❜

❛ i hope that you burn. ❜

❛ everything is legal in new jersey… ❜

❛ i’m so sorry for forgetting what you taught me. ❜

❛ it’s quiet uptown. ❜

❛ they are trying to do the unimaginable. ❜

❛ there are moments that the words don’t reach. ❜

❛ forgiveness. can you imagine? ❜

❛ i had only one thought before the slaughter. ❜

❛ i imagine death so much, it feels more like a memory. ❜

❛ what is a legacy? it’s planting seeds in a garden you will never see. ❜

❛ death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. ❜

❛ i survived, but i paid for it. ❜

❛ have i done enough? will they tell my story? ❜

#[ BANGS MY HANDS ON THE TABLE PLEASE ]#[ I ACT LIKE IM OVER THIS MUSICAL BUT IM NOT IN ANY WAY ]#ᴀᴍᴀɴᴅᴀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴀᴜɢʜs. sʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ. (meme)

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manda panda