Mara Samsara

Thoughts from the depths of my soul

[marasamsara]

Do you believe in reinvention Do you believe that life is holding the clue Any way to face the silence Any way to face the pain that kills you

[marasamsara]

Empathy can be a curse. If I'd give a crap about certain others, my life would be so much easier.

[marasamsara]

"I can't tell you how much I love you when you're sitting on my face."

-- Oh, I love you Billy Connolly

[marasamsara]

The darkness within me is hardening, gaining an edge. It used to be diffuse, shrouded in fog. Now it solidifies, forcing its way out—like raw steel in a furnace, beaten relentlessly into a weapon.

[marasamsara]

I'm so f***ing furious! I don’t see why I should keep putting in the effort to make my team members feel comfortable and at ease. I mean what do I get in return? They bloody let me down and only care about their own f***ing interests. I begin to understand bosses who bully their employees ...

[marasamsara]

I'd love to be a manipulative bitch. Like psychopaths driving people where they want them to be and making people what they want them to do. But my pride and my anger get in the way so often. Darn. But on the other hand, I quite enjoy being aggressive and condescending. You [censored]! Go [censored] yourself!

[marasamsara]

Guess, I'll let go of my website. No one's visiting it and it has become a maintenance burden. Also, I haven't updated it in the last couple of months. Thx, Robert, for trying to find a simpler solution! By the end of March, when the domain registration expires, it'll be history. Shame. I have so many stories in my head which - if ever being written - will never be published.

This blog will stay.

[marasamsara]

"I do not understand why, when I ask for a grilled lobster in a restaurant, I am never served a cooked telephone; I do not understand why champagne is always chilled and why on the other hand telephones, which are habitually so frightfully warm and disagreeably sticky to the touch, are not also put in silver buckets with crushed ice around them."

Oh Salvador Dalí, you crazy frood, I love you. I will bake a long bread in your honor.

[marasamsara]

Have a preem X-Mas, chooms.

[marasamsara]

I feel the blood running through my veins again. I feel my thoughts gathering, branching out and spreading like capillaries. I feel my desires, anger, fear, creativity. I feel my ideas stacking up, brick by brick, rising up to form structures. I feel myself. I'm alive again. The last couple of months I was merely existing. Now I'm alive again. Feels awesome.

[marasamsara]

Happy first Sunday of Advent

[marasamsara]

It is getting better Or do I feel the same Will it make it easier on me Now I got someone to blame

[marasamsara]

Wanna know how to startle your trusted psychiatrist? Easy. Just them him/her you know where he/she lives while maintaining cold eye contact. Don't worry, you really do know where he/she lives. If you don't know what I mean, you better throw yourself under a lorry.

[marasamsara]

Getting more and more pissed off with my inner child. Thought about taking a knife, cutting my inner child's throat and watch it bleed to death. What the fuck did it ever do for me other than making me feel miserable?

I guess this is not the right approach, but right now this feels good.

I'm tired of feeling like crap.

[marasamsara]

Didn't have a normal day at work for three months. Feeling more and more stressed out. Energy is fading. Darkness is growing. Let's see where this path leads me ...

[marasamsara]

When the skies are burning, you know it's time to grab your demon hunter gear.

[marasamsara]

I am here and you are here and we are here to keep the night in motion