Things my husband and I do when we start to fall into the roommate phase:
We set a time each night where we put our phones away and just talk, with our attention only on one another.
Or we make a date night at home after our kids go to bed. Time away from home life and our kids is a MUST.
We start making more of an effort to be affectionate with each other. We start kissing and flirting more, like we used to when we were younger.
We schedule intimacy if we are going through a dry spell. We set a time and date, and openly communicate before what our needs/wants are in the bedroom.
We start going to bed at the same time, and falling asleep next to each other.
We do the household chores together.
We remind ourselves that we are not just husband and wife. We are also best friends.
We start treating each other like best friends again.
We make an effort to start having fun together again, and try new things.
We sit down and ask the the hard questions like:
“Why are we heading back into the roommate phase?”
“How can we stop it, and better our connection”
“What can we do differently as a couple, to come back together?”
“Here’s what I need from you. What do you need from me?”
We start doing the “little” things again.
We start kissing good morning and goodnight every day again.
We aren’t afraid to say to each other “hey, I’m feeling a little bored in this phase of our relationship, how can we fix it?”
We stop what we’re doing, even in the middle of a messy kitchen with our kids running around, and kiss. We do this to remind ourselves that even though our lives may be busy and messy right now, we are still making an effort to be close to one another.
We remind ourselves that relationships have good months, and bad months, and some months we will have to work harder at it than others.
If we feel like we are starting to lead separate lives, we make an effort to change that.
I get up early for work? My husband wakes up to make breakfast with me.
My husband gets home late from work and is eating dinner at 8pm? I will sit there and eat with him. We make an effort to make our daily routines more connected.
And most importantly, we acknowledge that the roommate phase is just that..
Another phase of life for us to work through, together.
Or we make a date night at home after our kids go to bed. Time away from home life and our kids is a MUST.
We start making more of an effort to be affectionate with each other. We start kissing and flirting more, like we used to when we were younger.
We schedule intimacy if we are going through a dry spell. We set a time and date, and openly communicate before what our needs/wants are in the bedroom.
We start going to bed at the same time, and falling asleep next to each other.
We do the household chores together.
We remind ourselves that we are not just husband and wife. We are also best friends.
We start treating each other like best friends again.
We make an effort to start having fun together again, and try new things.
We sit down and ask the the hard questions like:
“Why are we heading back into the roommate phase?”
“How can we stop it, and better our connection”
“What can we do differently as a couple, to come back together?”
“Here’s what I need from you. What do you need from me?”
We start doing the “little” things again.
We start kissing good morning and goodnight every day again.
We aren’t afraid to say to each other “hey, I’m feeling a little bored in this phase of our relationship, how can we fix it?”
We stop what we’re doing, even in the middle of a messy kitchen with our kids running around, and kiss. We do this to remind ourselves that even though our lives may be busy and messy right now, we are still making an effort to be close to one another.
We remind ourselves that relationships have good months, and bad months, and some months we will have to work harder at it than others.
If we feel like we are starting to lead separate lives, we make an effort to change that.
I get up early for work? My husband wakes up to make breakfast with me.
My husband gets home late from work and is eating dinner at 8pm? I will sit there and eat with him. We make an effort to make our daily routines more connected.
And most importantly, we acknowledge that the roommate phase is just that..
Another phase of life for us to work through, together.
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jacobvanloon
gummygunk
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