C'est La Vie

Uy, nakita niya ko! Secret lang natin to ha! Thank you ♥ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - AD (eydi) | xvi | many goals ongoing | Halaman | Making history in her dreams | Being awkward is a hobby - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - STALKING TIP: Search for happenings based on date by typing "tagged/MMDD" on the address bar after my URL (ie. /tagged/0318) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - TAGS: PERSONAL LIFE CURRENTS PHOTO BLOG - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[marchingpisces]

so i cooked again today

07082025 | I started cooking (not just frying or pancit canton lol) in 2019, kinda late for my age but at least now I know how to cook for myself / try new dishes / make something out of nothing.

kapag may nakakausap ako about cooking and nalalaman na nagluluto ako, may nagugulat na marunong pala ako lol. Masyado na kong madaming character sa internet para idagdag ang cooking.

The other day, it’s the first time i posted something I cooked and may nag-reply na “iba talaga ang nagagawa pag inlove” — i felt offended my happy independent single previous self was offended and I don’t even know if valid ba yung feelings ko.

just getting this off my chest.

[marchingpisces]

08062024 | I miss him more but then again, I promised myself that I won't go back to that kind of thing. That's not what I deserve.

[marchingpisces]

07232024 | Can I say this here? He has been reaching out all throughout these years pero I can't return to the patterns I already healed from. Lolokohin mo tapos gusto mong tanggapin ka pa rin na parang walang nangyari. I hope people can take the hint of not disturbing other people's peace anymore. I believe I'm already okay with what happened years ago but he keep interfering in my life. What's sad is that I miss him but I know this too shall pass.

[marchingpisces]

03292024

I finally came up with a conclusion unconsciously.

I just prayed for it months ago and ang random na God gave me situations that answered my questions and cleared my mind. It has been over a month since I felt this and I'm happy.

[redeemed-renewed-restored]

[marchingpisces]

01102024

I think it's just me... trying to remove these thoughts in my head but I can't. I want to clear this up. I'll be brave to face this... sooner.

[taylorswift]

I had the time of my life fighting dragons with youuuu! Celebrate 34 with me by watching The Eras Tour (Extended Version) including “Long Live” 🐉 “The Archer” 🏹 and “Wildest Dreams” 💙 at home!

PS troll me all you want about my excessive and literal millennial emoji use but A) no one’s prouder to be a millennial and B) it’s my bday and today I am exempt! 🎂

https://taylor.lnk.to/TSTheErasTourAtHome

[marchingpisces]

010624 | Funny how I'm just turning 28 this year and to be honest, I want to die na. No worries, it's not the type that I would kill myself... sobrang pagod lang talaga ako as a human. Ayoko na rin ng next life.

No "kaya mo yan" / "fighting" / "sending hugs" can make me want to live longer. I often hear "how to be you" / "ang saya naman ng buhay mo" but no one really knows how to live this life of mine, even me? Like I'm trying pero parang ayaw niya talaga sakin. So yeah, I'm in the point of my life na if naghahanap si Lord ng magv-volunteer na kunin, ako agad magtataas ng kamay.

[chibird]

I hope 2024 is a lot of things, but I truly hope it brings more peace in the world. 💛

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

[marchingpisces]

11152023

One thing I learned when I was still actively dating is that you never have to adjust yourself. As long as you do not bother or harm others, there's no need to tone down your attitude or whatever makes who you are.

I also learned that this is not just for romantic relationships, this is applicable to all relationships we have or we will have.

[marchingpisces]

"Be the senior you needed when you were a junior."

09112023

I greatly appreciate my juniors today. Hindi ko alam na malaki rin talaga ang effect sa kanila kung may senior kang handang i-guide ka at i-explain sayo clear what went wrong and what could've been done better. Grabe. Wala lang, I didn't know this role could make me this emo. It has been more than a month since I had been an independent senior with few juniors being handled... di ko kasi alam if it's just them or I really have an impact on them. My method is actually working on them and I couldn't be prouder. Nakaka-touch lang din kasi naging vocal din sila with their appreciation in our teamwork today! :)

[marchingpisces]

29Jul2023

Tuwing nag-fflashback yung mga nagawa ko habang nasa relasyon ako in the past, naiirita ako... nag-ccringe ako. Like wth talaga lol.

Stop.

[marchingpisces]

the love that i want

"My bones are safe And my heart can rest Knowing it belongs to you, you My world is changed And it's cradled by The comfort that is you."

I want that kind of love that even on silence, I still feel at ease.

I want that kind of love that even when I'm in chaos with myself, I still have my shelter.

I want that kind of love where I feel secured and at peace.

"You make my heart feel like it's summer When the rain is pouring down You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong That's how I know you are the one"

I'll never love again until I can found that someone who can calm my storms when I cannot do it alone anymore, someone who can stand with me when I'm drifting apart, someone who would not make me feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not, someone that would accept my flaws like how I accept them, someone who could say I'm wrong when I am, someone whom I will never fake my emotions with, someone who would make me feel at home, that someone with a pure heart.

"...and all I want is steady love".

[chibird]

There are so many reasons to keep going! Here are just a few.

[marchingpisces]

07112023 | Sht is this becoming real? 😭 I can't seem to forget, this is bad.

[marchingpisces]

07042023 | I have a short history of being a serial dater from years 2019-2022. I started this year with the thought of not dating anyone, even in casual terms, for fun, or just “having a someone”. Early this year I said to myself, “kahit three months lang, dapat tahimik talaga ang buhay ko na walang lalaki”. And here I am, unconsciously went through the past six months without anyone and I never had this peace ever since I started actively dating guys in 2019. Sumasakit pa rin ang ulo ko, i still have problems pero at least not with men cause i don’t have one.

Ang sarap din sa feeling na i don’t wait for anyone or anyone waiting on me in different scenarios. Sobrang nae-enjoy ko yung single life ko tbh. If you have seen any guys on my ig stories, they’re one of my friends lang as to my end.

[marchingpisces]

04 Jun 2023

Today, idk but i remembered him more than usual. I remembered positive things about him. I remembered how caring and thoughtful he is. How he made sure that I am comfortable in every way. I mean, standards aside... he's a good boyfriend. He never failed to make me feel loved... which boils down again to the thought of how shit I felt when i knew he was cheating.

I never imagined how someone can make you feel loved everyday while cheating on you. Already lost faith in men even before him.

I am okay.