Alice allowed herself to fall deeper into the kiss forgetting about everything else around them. Her hand slid down his cheek and behind his neck to pull her closer to him as she kissed him back. Their position wasnât the most comfortable and even the small movements that they shared sent sparks of pain throughout her. Alice didnât want this to stop just yet though and allowed herself to indulge a little bit in her curiosity.
As she kissed him she ran the tip of her tongue over his bottom lip before softly catching it with her teeth. All of her actions were careful and tender partly wanting to not scare him away and show how much she cared; some of it had to do with how new she was to this and not wanting to risk messing it up. The hand on his neck moved up through his hair feeling how soft it was against her skin. She heard some of her classmates talk before about how some people liked their hair being pulled and in between her already clouded up mind she wondered if Marcus was that type. That seemed like too bold of a move but the idea was in her head for next time. If there was a next time.
A small burst of pain caused her muscles to tense up and Alice reluctantly pulled back hiding her grimace behind a genuine smile. She looked him in the eyes before falling back into her upright position on the bed, the pain already growing. âGuess this kind of messes with our âprofessionalâ relationship.â It was a joke to cover up both her hurting and the awkwardness of the situation. They had just kissed; and if it hadnât been for her physical state she would probably still be kissing him.
Alice would have scoffed at the situation if she didnât think Marcus would get the wrong idea. There were so many variables that something was bound to go wrong but she would do it all over again if she could; the only thing stopping her were those pills or lack of. Her eyes wandered to his hand still resting on his lap where it had been the whole time like he was trying to be proper. It was a gesture she appreciated but at the same time he needed to know that he could touch her without her falling apart or running away. âIâm not fragile you know. You can touch me.â
The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, sounding more out of a place coming from her when she was mostly sober than drugged up. She meant them all the same and didnât look away even when the urge to was strong. Alice wanted him to be comfortable around her and knew it would take time but she still wanted him to know all the same. Her hand was still under his, thumb gently moving against his skin as she spoke. âThank you thoughâŠFor helping me back there.â
Marcus honestly couldn't remember the last time he had had a moment quite like this one; certainly when he was much younger. Â You got older, more callus, more impatient to get to the finish line, and you started to miss out on the little things, or at the very least taking them for granted. The way Alice kissed him back, her small but thoughtful moments during the extent of those languid seconds, they made him feel something he hadn't in an equal amount of time. Â It wasn't that she was hesitating so much as getting a feel for this, for him, and all at once he appreciated this new side of her. Â He could tell that she wanted more, her tongue dusting his bottom lip, the teasing tug on it, the way her fingers moved through his hair; it hinted at something that could escalate, given the chance. Â But not right now, no, one thing at a time, so he enjoyed this for what it was, even if he was perhaps playing it a little too cautious. Â He would rather have this, than ruin it and never have the chance again.
When she pulled back, it was sudden, but not abrupt in a way that made him feel any more awkward, or maybe it was her warm smile, reassuring him that all was well. Â He felt a similar smile on his own lips, her touch of humor being perfectly timed in the aftermath. Â "Was it really all that professional to begin with?" Â Then he averted his eyes down to his hand, unmoving from his lap. "I know..." Â Of course she wasn't fragile, maybe it was the other way around. Â He looked back up at her, eyes searching her face. "But you're in pain, I don't want to chance making it worse right now, alright?" Â It was a pretty silly excuse to pardon his sudden, rather odd, sheepishness, but it would have to do. The words 'I will, next time' nearly tumbled out, but he didn't want to set her up for expectations that might come off as pressure. There wasn't any need to ruin the moment, as arduous as it had been to come by to begin with.
He had been so focused on kissing her, he had nearly overlooked the fact that her hand was still sitting beneath his until she began moving her thumb, assuring him that what he'd done had been the right thing. Â "It's the least I could do," he shook his head in lieu of an awkward shrug; unable to ever accept gratitude with much grace. Â He still felt he owed her this, and much more, for what he'd done to her, but he didn't want to bring it up and start that cycle of self blame all over again. Â Instead, he smiled and gave her hand a soft squeeze before letting it go. Â "I should finish this." Â Which had been the intention all along when he'd first sat down by her side; it seemed a few detours had been made.
It took another minute or two to finish with the draw kit, but once he had Marcus indicated that she hold her arm out to him, a rubber tourniquet in his hand to tie her off so he could find a vein. Â "I'm going to take your blood back to the lab for some tests. And this," he held up the second syringe, "will make you feel better for awhile, nothing major, trust me." As in, nothing that she was taking in the form of those pills. Â He watched her closely, his gaze slowly drifting over to the bottle still on the nightstand, the white elephant in the room. Â "And those, I'm leaving those up to you to decide on. Â Take them if you want, Alice, but I can assure you of this, you will not feel better if you do." Â He couldn't believe he was turning her off to his own product, but hell, he had just kissed her, at this point everything with them, all of it, all bets were off.
