purplelover22

19 || trinitian || BS Psych student || loves singing || playing guitar || total fan of music ||

[margalynd22]

MAYBE THIS IS REALLY MY PURPOSE

Mula pagkabata, ako na lang ang laging umiintindi, ang laging nagpaparaya. mas matanda sya, pero ako pa din ang kailangang mag adjust. nawalan ako ng pagkabata at maagang tumanda, namulat sa katotohanan. hanggang ngayon, ako pa rin ang pilit na nagpapasensya at umiintindi. kasalanan ko ba? kasalanan ko bang, tao lang din ako; marunong masaktan at mapagod. sobrang pagod na pagod na ko magpasensya, lagi na lang ako ang umiintindi, wala namang nakakaintindi sakin. ayoko na mabuhay sa mundo, kung saan pinanganak akong walang kakampi. kung ngayong gabi kunin ako ng Diyos, walang pag-aatubili akong sasama. gusto ko nang makawala sa impyernong buhay na to. marahil mababaw para sa iba ngunit ako'y punong puno na. hindi ko na ata kaya pang mabuhay sa iisang bahay kasama sya at ang pamilyang napili nyang samahan. masyado nang maliit ang mundong ito para samin. marahil kapatid ko nga sya, pero sya, tanda ba nya? mula nang kalimutan nya kaming pamilya nya nung pinili nya ang babaeng yun ay kinalimutan ko na din na kapatid ko sya.

[margalynd22]

broke </3

i shouldn't have done it in the first place. if i could turn back time and unmeet him. i should've not fell for the bait. now here i am, completely broken...into pieces. regrets really come last to teach us lessons. but why pain is the main ingeredient to make the lesson learned effectively? why God makes us meet persons that will break us, that will let us feel secured for a while, then let us down afterwards. sometimes i think that i really am not worthy loving. maybe i should be single for the rest of my life. i dont know how to trust guys again, or maybe i'd rather not, ever again. is someone really meant for me? or everyone that will come will meant to break and hurt me? am i such pain in the ass that no one can tolerate my mood swings, jealousy and all? am i born to be a toy? to give fun to some and break myself slowly? tonight i complete lost hope, maybe for a while, or maybe for a lifetime.

[margalynd22]

*wishful thinking*

the day that i can shout your name fearlessly, how much i feel about you, the time, that i won't care whoever might hear or listen that i can bring you home with me, without doubts, hesitation and double thoughts that i can introduce you to my parents, my family, the same way i can do with my friends

[margalynd22]

confusing

the way i feel about you confuses me sometimes i feel that against the world is we but sometimes i feel that it's just me walking with you at night makes me feel protected but why do i feel that most of the times, my efforts are wasted i love the way you look, smile and hold me i hope you feel the same way however rough things may be wish you'll stay whatever they're about to say at the end of the day, i still wonder when will i feel constantly that it is we and not just me hoping you'll be there, forever.

[margalynd22]

Pain

how can i forget you? and the pain you've caused?

[margalynd22]

this is the first photo of you that i took.. it might be the last.. hahaha.. now you're away and i am definitely not used to.. but i will be.. so you don't have to worry.. 9 months is quite long.. but i will wait.. i just wish that you will come back.. and still be mine. hahaha.. xD

[margalynd22]

My new sounds:

[margalynd22]

My new sounds:

[margalynd22]

1st year has ended..

i learned a lot after these 2 semesters.. i learned how to handle pressure and stress.. and its really a great thing..

but the most important thing that i learned, is to deal with all those insecure people.. they will do anything to ruin you and your life..

but at the end of the day… it’s still up to you.. but there are things that i will never learn…

to let go, forgive, forget and learn not to think about what people will think of me.. i never learn these things and it seems that i’ll never will.. and i hate myself for that…

maybe i should learn how to forgive myself first to be able to forgive others.. in fact, i’m not born to please others..

[margalynd22]

why.?

why people are so impossible..? why is it so hard for them to just forget the past...? even if you are not doing anything, they're still mad... so unfair..:'(

[margalynd22]

Christmas <3

I didn't feel the spirit of Christmas this year.. it seems that it just passed.. though we don't have any food on our table.. we still enjoyed and thankful for this another year.. Christmas is a wonderful day indeed.. Merry Christmas everyone!! God Bless and Happy Holidays,.!  :D

[margalynd22]

CHRISTMASSS..!!!

it's nearly coming.. able to feel it already.. happy day it is.!! spending it with friends, close friends, best friends, and of course... FAMILY.. :))

[margalynd22]

why is it hard to work on week ends...???

[margalynd22]

done :)

audition's done.. I'm glad that I was able to take it. If I wouldn't get the chance to take that audition... maybe... I would regret for that opportunity.. well then, it's done... what ever the result is.... I'm happy that at least I've tried.. :)) t'was such a great experience..=D

[margalynd22]

paranoid...

lately, I felt being more paranoid than ever... I hate it yet.. I can't help it.. if guilt can kill.. well, then.. I must be dead.. sorry po.. :)) I know you're fair... I know you're neutral.. sorry for thinking that way.. :((

[margalynd22]

17th year of existence :))

even if only few remembered my day... I'm still happy because I discovered who my friends really are. :)) I'm so lucky to have them.. thanks guys,,, iloveyouallsomuch..

[margalynd22]

I FELT more RELIEVED.. >.<

yesterday, I really felt so down.. why?? the semester ended but how come, even it's done... I'm still having troubles with some of my blockmates.. and I hate it.. I know that I did something wrong but.. why should they reacted like that..??? that's so unprofessional of them.. >.< but now, I feel more relieve.. thanks to you guys.. :))