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Tomate throwing confetti!
⭒ Ilia Malinin Recs
⭒ Masterpost ⭒ 03/17/2026
⭒ Sports Directory
big guy ✮ jschlatt x fem!reader hcs
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a/n: what up! i wrote this for my gorgeous loml best friend @plantring who definitely wasn’t holding me at gunpoint, and i’ve been meaning to write a schlatt fic for ages! so, here you go. big guy. maybe charlie next 👀 also the song was just the song i’ve been repeating and had in mind while i wrote this fic ! i hope you guys like it :)
notes: jambo, other unnamed cat referred to as ‘burnt soup’, swearing, cuddles, nicknames, twitch, wii games series, tucker keane & Ted nivison, chuckle sandwich mention, romantic, drinking, hobbies, singing, SFW, NSFW UNDER THE CUT!! , grabby schlatt /pos
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
sfw hcs ˚⟡˖ ࣪
☼ toots. he calls you toots, all the time, every day. it’s either a cheesy nickname, sweets, toots, baby, sweetheart, or sugar. he’s new yorkian yk.
☾ he’ll call you them before you even start dating, just to watch your cheeks flush pink and lips fall agape. the image ingrained in his mind permanently.
☼ such a flirt, before you start dating. he’ll make a wild joke to nobody in particular when you’re with friends, noticing how everybody will laugh but yours is hoarse. watching you squirm in your seat as he lets out a little chuckle, is how he gathers you like him.
☾ you’re the flirtiest friends, and everyone can see it but you two.
☼ maybe your mutual point of realisation is at his house, when he complains about shaving and you offer to shave his chops. “y’better not fuck this up, lady. these are the money bags.” he’d tease, making you laugh. you sit on his lap, claiming it’s for ‘better access’ as you clean up his face.
☾ like i said with ted, schlatt’s also a romantic. maybe a little more old school, but definitely romantic. he’d ask you out on a date first, with pretty flowers and that charming fucking smile. then ask you to be his girlfriend. what? he isn’t a pussy.
☼ if you two don’t live together, he likes seeing you in his space more. he can’t quite describe why, maybe it’s just waking up with you tangled in his sheets in his bed in his room with his cats cuddling up next to you like you’ve been there forever.
☾ speaking of the cats, they’ve picked you over him. if you both call their names at the same time, both the cats will come running to you as if schlatt isn’t even there.
☼ “what the fuck?” he mutters, picking up jambo. “i pay for your food, house you, give you love and attention. and this is how you repay me, shithead? huh? by picking her over me? fuck you!” he frowns, holding jambo up as the orange cat simply meows in response. jambo’s paw finds his nose, and schlatt’s eyes glance at you. seeing you giggling as you cuddled burnt soup like a baby. “you too, you fuckin’ traitor.” he proclaims, pointing at the purring black cat in your hands who’s giving him the cutest stare ever.
☾ huh, kind of reminds him of you.
☼ if you have a pet too, even better.
☾ got a cat? he’ll try and make your cat love him more then you. it doesn’t work, but if you comment he’ll say it’s a work in progress. insists on feeding it every time he’s at your house, probably figures out some sort of nickname for your kitty. cuddles it every chance he gets.
☼ got a dog? he’ll pretend he doesn’t like it, call it dopey since he’s always proclaiming he doesn’t like dogs. but you catch him babying and cuddling your dog when he thinks you’re not around too often to believe him.
☾ best believe jambo and burnt soup will get mad at him when he comes home with another animal’s smell on him, but never get mad at you. he’s such a softie for pets.
☼ schlatt was quite the private man, not a very big fan of making things public on the internet. he knew how people could be. he wouldn’t want to expose you to that, at least not until he was sure you’d be okay with it and you’d been in a relationship for a while.
☾ didn’t mean he couldn’t leave a few subtle messages for his chat, though. maybe a pair of pink slippers on his floor or some jewellery. when chat would notice and spam, he’d smirk.
☼ “what, chat? th’re obviously mine.” he chuckled. gaslighting his twitch as much as he could. if you asked, he’d say it was an accident and he didn’t notice. he’s a good liar to everyone but you.
☾ after a while, he’d open the idea up to you. whether it be a stream, or a youtube video where he can blur your face. but he has one rule.
☼ wii games. he wants to bring back wii games.
☾ and of course since you’re both equally competitive fucks, it turns into a laughing, yelling and tackling match as you both play every wii game imaginable. spewing insults at each other when the other misses in wii tennis, bickering like an elderly couple, screaming and cheering in victory. him claiming he let you win.
☼ “if you win anythin’, that is.” he’d murmur with that dumb grin.
☾ which you reply to with a string of curses and insults
☼ he couldn’t imagine anything more hilarious. plus click bait.
☾ he brings you to chuckle week (RIP CHUCKLE FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS </3) and you all decide to play some of the board games that look like they’re collecting dust in the airBNB you all are staying in.
☼ scrabble? you and schlatt team, ted and tucker team, and you practically knock them off the fucking board. guess who? they’re cooked. uno? reverse. chess? checkmate. you’re winning every time, together for once, and giggling about it too.
☾ “connect 4!” schlatt bellowed, as you two won at yet another game. you sat at the dining table of the airbnb, sitting opposite each other in pairs playing another dusty game. “what the fuck? you two are cheating or some shit.” ted huffs and tucker shakes his head and laughs, with you and schlatt cuddled up with your manic grins and wins in every game under your belt.
☼ turns out putting two competitive (crazy, as tucker calls you) people on a team works.
☾ let’s just say no matter who you’re playing with, you two always win game night.
☼ schlatt will pretend that he doesn’t like whatever hobby you have, playfully rolling his eyes, but if you catch him marvelling at you doing said hobby? no you didn’t.
☾ he’ll let you drag him wherever, but not without complaints. he’ll hold your hand wherever, never let you pay whenever you go out.
☼ “that’s silly.” he’d argue, pushing your card away. “christ, woman. ’m gonna have to fuckin’ confiscate your card ‘n replace it with my own soon.”
☾ he’ll hold you whenever, especially if you like it. whether it be his arm around your shoulders, on your waist, or maybe even a hand in your back pocket
☼ especially in crowds, he’s got you close so you can get through it to where you need to go. he’d hate to lose you in a crowd, not a chance.
☾ he’d get drunk, you’d try and kiss him and he’d be like “fuck off. i have a loving girlfriend.”
☼ and you’d be like “j i’m ur girlfriend.”
☾ “oh! hi girlfriend :)” and then kisses you.
☼ tries to act tough but he’s such a big softie at heart.
☾ he also gets jealous if he catches anyone simply just glancing at you, big 6”4 boy just gives them a simple look
☼ “achlatt! that guy was literally just doing his job.” “don’t give a fuck, y’re my girlfriend. no need for him t’be so cheery to ya.” but he’d also be annoyed if they weren’t nice to you.
☾ sometimes, you’ll catch him cooking and singing to himself as he plays music on a speaker. some glen campbell, maybe arctic monkeys. but he gets embarrassed, despite literally having a christmas album and a real good voice.
☼ “i don’t sing, sugar.” schlatt would argue, food cooking and arms wrapped around your waist as you two gently swayed to the music playing in his kitchen.
☾ a lie that was, you called bullshit
☼ and you’d both sing to whatever was on the speaker, laughing and just holding each other close as you two danced properly. spinning you, dipping you. his hair messy, a look of admiration on his face. no matter how uncoordinated you two were, it was right in your eyes.
☾ same thing i said about ted goes, big broad tall man mmmmm
☼ gives the best cuddles
☾ got plushies in your room? he’ll buy you more, and have fake beef with them. rolling his eyes if you argue that they’re your children.
☼ deep down he knows he loves them
☾ and you
☼ mostly you
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nsfw hcs ˚⟡˖ ࣪
the boy! ✮ ted nivison x fem!reader hcs
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a/n: yes i know i haven’t posted a fic in 9 months im sorry guys 😭😭😭 hope you guys like this i swear ive read every single ted nivison x reader fanfic on this site and i need more so i made it myself !!!! much love, and i will most definitely keep adding to this when i think of more stuff over time !
reqs r open :3
notes: SFW AND NSFW, NSFW BELOW THE CUT, flirting, romantic, dating, ted nivison youtube references, cuddling, kissing, drug use & mention, the nerds rope (iykyk), moving in tg, smut, “ted is a capital m munch!!!” i say as they drag me away, i need him so bad guys. implications of high sex? (both parties high), phone sex, positions, nicknames, movies and music, university/college mention
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sfw hcs⋆ ˚。𖦹
✮ ted is romantic! but in saying that it means he takes it slow sometimes. if you guys have been friends for a long time and he realises he has feelings for you, it’ll be a quick ask in the perfect moment. he can’t keep it to himself.
✮ but if you’ve never really had a proper conversation before it takes him a long time, because he wants to make sure that you do like him. he’ll definitely flirt, but he just doesn’t go that far until he’s sure!
✮ he loves to brag that he made the first move though if people ask about your relationship once you’re dating, because he’s just so proud that he pulled you
✮ to reference his ‘twitter’ YouTube video, he definitely buys you flowers every date! even if you have no more room, he’ll just buy another vase from that thrift store you love
✮ if he sleeps over at your house and sees some flowers he got you sat in a vase dying… if you wake up and he’s making pancakes and there’s new flowers in your vase that’s none of your business ok??
✮ he’s always thinking about you. he’s out running around on his own and he’ll have a bag full of stuff he picked by the next time he sees you.
✮ his excuse is always ‘oh I thought you’d like it honey’ or ‘oh I thought it would look good on you’ or ‘oh you said you needed this right?”
✮ trust if you look at something in the shops too long when you’re together then next time you see each other it’ll be like in your room magically
✮ he’s very affectionate, he loves giftgiving! ye loves quality time as well.
✮ he’ll always try and drop whatever he’s doing to spend time with you like if you’re getting bored while he’s editing he’ll drop it and immediately be like C’MERE !
✮ he’d fully like miss a call with Tucker for a take it easy episode because he’s making out with you
✮ like you guys are cuddling and kissing a metre away from his desk, his phone is blowing up
✮ ‘ted you were supposed to get up and call tucker 10 minutes ago baby’ ‘mmmmmgghhh noooo’
✮ he loves spending as much time with you as possible he’ll drop by whenever he can and you’ll do the same at his house
✮ you definitely end up moving in together
✮ and he loooooooooves having you like in the background of his YouTube videos! he’d never cut it out. his fans love it too
✮ just seeing you walk by or like seeing you make dinner for the two of you in the background of his barbie video, maybe you even tune in and watch your favourite barbie movie with him. you’re his special guest.
✮ he loves holding you, whether it be your hand, cuddling, you both wrestling for fun. it’s his favourite thing.
✮ if you’re still studying in uni/college, you know he loves to brag about the fact he’s done it already
✮ “oh yeah I got a degree in cinema & photography already🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️” and ur like “piss off” bc you’re going through it with exams
✮ he DEFINITELY did edibles occasionally we know because of the nerds rope that he’s a stoner, but i think as he got older he started smoking it less
✮ if you’re a stoner he’s always like DON’T do edibles. he’s traumatised from them.
✮ but he still smokes weed with you and you guys just chill. you get giggly you both get the munchies together and you eat the entire house.
✮ pet names would be honey, sweetheart, angel, baby, nicknames of ur name
✮ would love taking you out to dinner! would also never let you pay
✮ big broad man mmmm
✮ he has such comfy clothes you can’t help but steal them ok???
✮ loves skin to skin. baths or showers together, in bed, anything. it just makes him feel closer to you.
✮ he has a picture of you wearing his glasses as his wallpaper, because he really just thinks you look so cute in them
✮ he loves making you listen to his favourite music, and also loves listening to your favourite music. he’s super open, no matter what your music taste is. he’ll make a playlist with the songs you both like and have it playing in the car all the time. he’s definitely made a playlist of songs that remind him of you.
✮ he also loves making you watch movies with him, he’d definitely do a movie review on his channel of a weird movie, with you. but outside of that, he loves making you watch his favourite films and the weird ones too, you two definitely have letterbox accounts! you listen to him yap about all the meanings behind camera positions and colouring and formats in movies too.
✮ he loves you to bits <3
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nsfw hcs⋆ ˚。𖦹
I'M NOT OKAY
T-T-Tummy...
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some of my favorite art pieces i’ve made :)