Sincerely, Jungkook
Jungkook x Reader First POV
Genre: Soft/Fluff/Romance Word Count: 2693
Playlist: “Dear No One” by Tori Kelly // “Best Part” by Daniel Caesar ft HER
On a rainy day you receive a letter from the one whom your soul longs for…
Day 365.
I stare outside my window, soothed as I listen to the rain fall down. It’s a cold and gloomy day, perfect for my melancholic mood. I’ve done a great job of forgetting about him. But he comes to the front of my mind whenever I hear the word honey or when I see Twinkies as I’m grocery shopping or every time I hear Tori Kelly sing, and that last one sucks the most because I love her music. But other than that, I had moved on.
But today I can’t stop thinking about him. I keep wondering if he’s moved on too. Is he eating okay? Is he sleeping okay? He always had trouble falling asleep, always thinking of something to do instead of getting enough rest. Does he have someone new in his life? Does someone else hold the key to his heart?
It’s been a year. 365 days. 8760 hours. 525600 minutes since I last saw him.
Don’t you mean since you broke up with him? That question haunts me daily. I constantly ask myself if I did the right thing. He tried to reassure me that we could make things work but I also knew he and the boys were only just beginning their journey as artists. I knew they were destined for greatness and the daily news articles and trending hashtags will tell you I was right. They are all out here breaking records and boundaries every day. I know if he had stayed with me I would’ve only been a burden.
A knock at my door breaks me away from my grieving thoughts. I open it to find a courier guy.
“Y/N?” he asks as he looks down at the name on the small package.
“Yes, that’s me.” He has me sign the slip and hands me the package.
I walk back inside and head over to my living room, making sure to grab a scissor from the kitchen so I can open the package.
I sit on my couch getting ready to open the box when I see the return address, “GCF” and I freeze, the scissor slipping from my hand.
Why? What? How? Huh?
I’m at a loss for words. How did he even get my address? Why now? Why is he reaching out to me TODAY of all days? What the actual fuck?
I feel myself start to panic. Breathe I tell myself. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths until I’m a bit calmer. I open the package and the only things are a letter and a DVD titled “365.”
I grab my laptop and insert the DVD to watch it but then I change my mind and decide to read the letter first. I take a deep breath and begin to read:
“My sweet Honey,” a small smile forms on my lips remembering how he would sing Kehlani’s Honey when he would call me this, especially when I was ignoring him because he knew it would make me smile big.
“Did you know I fell in love with you before I even saw you? The sweet sound of your melodic voice stopped me in my tracks on that warm night in Malta. I was putting away my camera while I was walking back to my car, done with filming some footage for the day when I happened to walk by a busking with a small audience. I didn’t pay it any mind because no one was singing yet, but as I walked a few feet past it I heard you whisper a sweet letter to me.
‘Dear no one, this is your love song’ I stopped walking, feet glued to the floor. Your voice was sweet, like dripping honey. I felt goosebumps rise down my arms as I slowly turned around. I still couldn’t see you because the audience got bigger, probably due to your voice being like a sirens call to all of the town. I started to take out my camera as I walked back towards you. Your voice kept pulling me closer and closer until I could see you in the small screen of my DSLR. I squeezed my way through the crowd, wanting to be front and center. Is this how Army feels when they see us perform? Like they can’t breathe until they’re inches away from the stage? I was having difficulty breathing, I felt dizzy, but the moment I saw you…the moment I saw you with your eyes closed, hair dancing in the wind as you hit those notes in a breathy whisper, I felt like I could breathe again. That breath I was finally able to take made me realize I hadn’t been breathing all my life.
I recorded your entire performance that night. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you, especially seeing you in your element as you sang about how you were independent but wanted someone to give you his jacket when you were cold. All I could think about was how I wanted to be that someone for you.
When you finished the song, you opened your eyes and shyly smiled as you saw how big the crowd was. Your facial expression in that moment…seeing how humble you were and realizing how passionate you were about your talent, had me in awe. Someone in the crowd started chanting “encore encore” which made you giggle…my heart burst. I remember feeling this sudden urge to sing with you which is why I got up and walked to the other mic stand to the left of you. I looked over at you to find you looking at me with a puzzled expression as I asked you in a whisper, “do you know ‘Best Part’ by Daniel Caesar.’ The guitarist started to play the melody and we began to sing. Singing with you was the highlight of my trip and if I could go back to the moment I would relive it a thousand times.”
I close my eyes as I start to hum the song, bringing me back to that memory. I was a bit nervous singing with this complete stranger who I had noticed walking down the block before I started to perform. He was in all black, with a bucket hat on his head which was big enough to cover his face, and he was focused on a camera. The look of determination on his face piqued my interest, but I forgot about him as soon as I started to sing. At the time I wasn’t looking for anyone, but seems like fate had something different planned for me because that’s when he came to me.
When he got close to me and whispered if I knew Best Part my heart skipped a beat, almost as if it was restarting into a heart that belonged to him. When he started to sing “Best Part” and I heard his soft voice sing “it’s this sunrise and those brown eyes, you’re the one I desire” I looked over to find him looking at me as if he had known me all his life. I felt goosebumps rise on my arms and a pull on my heart strings. I feel my heart strings get tighter as I recall the memories and emotions from that day. It’s too much for me to dwell on so I go back to reading the letter:
“Asking you out that day was the best decision of my life. That year we spent together was and still is one of the most memorable and most cherished years of my life. My brothers and I have done a lot of great things with our music and every moment we spend with Army is a moment I’ll never forget, but it still doesn’t reach the level of happiness I had when I had you by my side.
You were and still are the love of my life. I now understand why you broke up with me. Your poor excuse of being too different and not fitting into my lifestyle was bullshit and you know it.” I chuckle softly because he’s right.
“I’m not going to lie and say a day didn’t go by where I didn’t miss you. Even during my busiest schedules, I still thought of you every day. Every sip of coffee would remind me of you. The image of your nose scrunch whenever you’d take a sip of my Americano due to it’s bitter taste would come to mind. I still don’t understand why you’d drink my coffee knowing you’d rather drink sugar with a splash of coffee. I’d think of you every time it’d rain. Those tour dates in Europe were the hardest for me. Although, while performing I’d put memories of you to the back of my mind, as soon as I left the venue and into the pouring rain, images of you running in the rain would come to mind. I must have been crazy for you to book that rose latte cafe that had just opened up in Itaewon at midnight, just to be able to go with you. To see that beautiful smile on your face and admire the way it would light up every time you’d obsess over a cafe’s aesthetic. But my favorite moment from that whole night was running hand in hand with you to my car because we had to park half a mile away. The way you laughed as you tried to cover your hair with our hands, the way you cutely ‘yelled’ at me when I jumped into a puddle and splashed you, the way you looked at me when we stood outside my car in the rain. I can still feel the cold touch of your soft cheek as I held it in my hand and gently kissed you.”
I put the letter down and take a deep breath. Rainy days are the hardest for me for that same reason, and knowing that he was also hurting and struggling just as I was breaks my heart all over again. I pick up the letter again and am relieved to see that I’m almost done reading it.
“Rainy days will always be bittersweet for me, because they remind me of what I had and lost. Y/N, I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you, for us. I’m sorry it took me a whole year to pick up my boxing gloves and get in the ring to fight the match that is us. I’m settled in my career now so there really is no excuse you can give me that would keep me away from coming after you, and even once I have you in my arms again for good, I’ll continue fighting all my life to show you how much I love you. Knowing you, you probably read this letter first, so now I’m asking you to watch the DVD.”
I wipe the tears that are running down my face with my sweater sleeves and press play on my computer to start the film.
It opens up to an empty studio room, and after a closer inspection I realize it’s Jungkook’s old studio at their old building. I hear a piano rendition of “Best Part” start playing softly and I can bet my life that he had Yoongi make this version for him. My heart aches and I rub my chest softly trying to ease away the pain.
“Testing testing 1 2 3.” I hear his soft voice first, and then I see him come out from behind the camera to sit in his chair. His hair is unruly, face bare, and he’s wearing my favorite yellow hoodie. He bites his lip nervously and then leans on his elbow, resting his head on his hand. He sniffs a few times, god how I miss him.
“Day 1. Day 1 of being without you. Day 1 of missing you. Day 1 of waking up without you next to me, of not cracking jokes until you wake up to hit me with your pillow.” Not being able to see through my tears, I hit pause. He didn’t. He did not make what I think he made. I fast forward a few minutes and hit play.
“Day 15. Day 15 and I still miss you. I could still smell the scent of your perfume in my closet this morning when I was getting dressed. 15 days and I could finally drink a whole grande iced Americano.” Shut the fuck up. No, he didn’t. With more tears running down my face I fast-forward some more and hit play once again.
“Day 256. I thought I was getting better, finally moving on, but it rained today.” Fuck. He did. He really made a video journal of everyday we were apart. The ache in my heart is too strong, no amount of rubbing my chest will ease the ache away. I stare at his handsome face on my screen. His hair is longer and curlier, his fingers accessorized with multiple silver rings run over his lips back and forth. I notice a new piercing on his left ear. But it’s the look of sadness on his face, the look of grief that guts me. Hurting all this time made me ignore the fact that he too was probably hurting just as much as me. The tears won’t stop coming and next thing I know I am full on sobbing. Sobbing for the broken boy on my screen, for the broken promises we made to each other, sobbing for my own heartbreak. I notice there are a few more minutes left of the video so I fast forward a little more and hit play one last time.
“Day 365. It’s been a whole year since I started missing you. A whole year where I grieved for us. It took me a whole year, 365 days, to realize I can’t live without you. I know you still keep in touch with Jimin and that’s how I know you still miss me.” He says this last part in a cocky tone, smirking while doing so which makes me smile through my tears.
“I didn’t think I was going to send you this log until 3 months ago when I realized you were it for me. My heartstrings are pulled every time I think of you or every time I hear your name, meaning our red threads are still connected even after a year of not being together. We would be crazy to go our whole lives with our threads trying to pull us back together. Y/N, I loved you the minute I heard your voice back in Malta all that time ago, I loved you the day you left me, I love you every time it rains, I love you every second of every day. If you still love me, open the door when you hear your doorbell ring today.” The video ends with “Dear No One” playing softly and then I hear Jungkook start to sing the song. Grabbing some tissues, I wipe my face and try to stop the tears from falling, my heart stopping when the doorbell rings. My breathing stops as I just stare at the door. The doorbell rings again and I jump up from my couch and slowly walk to the door. Holding the door knob for a few seconds, I close my eyes and take one final deep breath.
I see him standing there right in front of me. Hair wet from the rain, hands in his pockets, leather jacket hiding his torso. He smiles softly at me and takes one step closer, then another, then another until he’s one step away from me. He brings his hand out of his pocket and softly caresses my cheek, wiping a tear that had escaped.
In his sweet soothing voice, he whispers, “Did you ever find your ‘no one’?
Closing my eyes, I bring up my hand to squeeze his that’s still touching my cheek. I lean into our hands and opening my eyes I softly whisper back, “I did. He’s standing right in front of me.”
