A　𝙈𝙊𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍'𝙎　SMILE

[　. . .　] 　and　 soon 　she's 　 𝐺𝑂𝑁𝐸  　.  

[martyrnal]

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#      𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚃𝚈𝚁𝙽𝙰𝙻       ,         an   independent ,      mutuals   only     &      selective  writing  blog  for  a  primarily  southern  gothic  inspired       supernatural  horror       original  character   :       𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍  𝒎𝒂𝒚  𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒕𝒕  .          a  study  in  the  themes  of   :      the  sacrificial  lamb ,      found  family ,           ᴿᴱᴸᴵᴳᴵᴼᵁˢ  ᵀᴿᴬᵁᴹᴬ   ,        martyrdom  within  motherhood ,       &     survivor’s  guilt .  

                                 created  by        honeybee       (     twenty - two    ,      they/them   ,          ᴳᴹᵀ ⁻ ⁵        )      circa   2014   ,      revamped   2022      ...       must  be  18+  to  follow ,    triggering  themes  present .           carrd .         also  found  at  :   @softroots ,   @mockangel ,   @fu1ler ,   @d1nkley​ ,   &   @cl4ws​​

[geraltcirilla]

[martyrnal]

crystal   is   only   still   in   contact   with   one   member   of   her   family ,   her   older   brother   keith .   he   is   also   a   hunter ,   and   though   he   doesn't   visit   as   much   after   crys   takes   in   jacob   ( he   thinks   it's   a   poor   decision )   he   makes   sure   to   at   least   come   around   for   christmas .  

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐡𝐨𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  lyric  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  various  hozier  songs.  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ i’ve walked the earth and there are so few here that know how dark the night and just how cold the wind can blow. ❜

❛ i’ve no more kept my warmth than blood upon the snow. ❜

❛ it’s not my arms that will fail me, but this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❜

❛ the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you. ❜

❛ i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. ❜

❛ i’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife. ❜

❛ good god, let me give you my life. ❜

❛ so tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes. ❜

❛ every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside. ❜

❛ you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you. ❜

❛ would things be easier if there was a right way? ❜

❛ honey, there is no right way. ❜

❛ i fall in love just a little, a little bit every day with someone new. ❜

❛ when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes, i feel like a person for a moment of my life. ❜

❛ you don’t know what hell you put me through. ❜

❛ there’s something tragic about you. ❜

❛ i have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me. ❜

❛ i have never known hunger like these insects that feast on me. ❜

❛ i’d be home with you. ❜

❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜

❛ no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her. ❜

❛ what did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? ❜

❛ i will not ask where you came from. i will not ask and neither should you. ❜

❛ just put your sweet lips on my lips. we should just kiss like real people do. ❜

❛ i know who i am when i’m alone. i’m something else when i see you. ❜

❛ you don’t understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need. ❜

❛ don’t let me in with no intention to keep me. ❜

❛ don’t feed me — i will come back. ❜

❛ i’ve known the warmth of your doorways. through the cold, i’ll find my way back to you. ❜

❛ still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man’s beliefs. ❜

❛ i need you to run to me, run until you feel your lungs bleeding. ❜

❛ when i was a child, i heard voices… some would sing and some would scream. ❜

❛ i learned the voices died with me. ❜

❛ don’t you ever tame your demons, but always keep ‘em on a leash. ❜

❛ you’ve done me wrong for a long time. but after all you’ve done, i never changed my mind. ❜

❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜

❛ nothing fucks with my baby. ❜

❛ if i was born as a black thorn tree, i’d wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies. ❜

❛ ain’t it warming you, the world going up in flames? ❜

❛ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now.❜

❛ i’m almost me again, she’s almost you. ❜

❛ i’ve had no love like your love. from nobody. ❜

❛ make your good love known to me, or just tell me about your day. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ that’s the kinda love i’ve been dreaming of. ❜

❛ i fell in love with the fire long ago. ❜

❛ with each love i cut loose, i was never the same. ❜

❛ i had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you. ❜

❛ know that i would gladly be the icarus to your certainty, oh my sunlight. ❜

❛ i have never loved a darker blue than the darkness i have known in you. ❜

[martyrnal]

               “    she  could  never  be  a  saint ,    but  she  thought  she  could  be  a  martyr  if  they  killed  her  quick .    ”      and      “    i  was  a  girl  gulping  a  woman’s  grief .    ” 

[martyrnal]

apostl​.

this kindness is a virtue.  this kindness is a rarity.  hours ago,  matt wasn’t certain whether he’d ever encounter it again  —  the road had not been kind to him,  and he’d resigned himself to carving out slivers of hope from stories of long-dead saints.  (  saint christopher,  patron of travelers.  saint jude,  patron of lost causes.  saint faustina kowalska,  patroness of mercy.  would they smile upon him,  offer him a seat at their table,  let him bask in the glory of their presence?  would they grant him the inconceivable privilege of being seen?  )

now,  he is seen at last,  and the gentleness of crystal’s gaze prods at his rabbit heart.  (  this kindness,  matt thinks,  is nigh impossible to bear.  )  he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear  —  more a nervous habit than an attempt at presentability  —  and shifts his focus to the table,  the offering laid out for his consumption.  he’d never been one to consume without shame.  “  this really wasn’t necessary.  i’ll get going soon.  ”  his refusal is a blunt knife,  dulled by the ever-present tremor in his hands.  “  but,  uh,  maybe your kid might want it?  ”

𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚  𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉  𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔  𝒊𝒔   𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 ,            every  gentle  gesture  and  kind  word  a  plea  to  be  heard ,   to  be  seen  as  something  capable  of  good .    the  drink  is  rejected  and  she  stills ,    eyes  widening    --    had  she  been  selfish  now  ?      offering  up  a  beverage  without  so  much  as  asking  if  it  had  been  wanted  ?       “    oh !    that’s  alright ,   don’t  you  go     rushin’  y’erself     outta  here ,   now .   y’er  company’s  more  than  welcome .    ”      line  of  vision  is  cast  over  her  shoulder ,    at  the  dark  eyes  peering  around  the  door ,   which  only  sends  the  boy  back  into  hiding .     only  for  a  moment ,    that  is ,   until  he’s  emerging  from  the  hall  once  more   --   this  time  wrapped  up  in  his      superhero  blanket      and  offering  a  small  wave .   

mother  greets  her  child  with  a  soft  pat  upon  his  head  as  she  sits ,   and  she  looks  back  over  to  their  guest  with  a  smile .        “    this’s  jacob   . . .     he’s  kinda  shy ,    has  trouble  talkin’  sometimes .    ”      with  that ,     he  relents  his  stare ,     nestling  himself  at  her  feet  and  hesitantly  moving  the  mug  closer  with  little  blanket  covered  hands .   crystal  is  no  longer  deserving  of  redemption ,    she  knows  this :    can  feel  it  in  the  deepest  parts  of  her  damned  soul .   but  still ,   she  breathes  warmth  into  those  around  her  as  much  as  she  can ,    both  strangers  and  family  alike ,    a     breathless  doe      fanning  withering  flames .

[martyrnal]

hallowburnt​.

         girl    adjacent    was    so    easy    to     startle,    brown    doe    eyes    opened    wide.    nothing    new,    had    known    her    long    enough    to    know    exactly    what    buttons    to    push    to    get    whatever    sort    of    reaction    she    was    searching    for.    so    innocent    looking,    but    capable     of    more    than    one    might    expect.    two    sides    of    the    same    coin,    two    young    girls    traumatized     by    the    supernatural    -    headed    down    the    same    path.    where    crystal     had    found    solace    in    being    gentle,    claire    found    her    solace    in    anger.    always    clawing    at    her    insides,    closer    and    closer    to    scratching    its    way    out    with    each    passing    day.

        bites    on    the    inside    of    her    cheek,    knowing    crystal    won’t    accept     the    usual    ‘    i’m     fine    ‘    response    she     knows    she    will    get,     sometimes,    silence    is     the    best    option.    ❛    i    was    just    in    the    area,    thought    i’d    come    by    and    see    how    you    were    doing.    you    doing    okay?    ❜  

𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓  𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔  𝒂𝒓𝒆  𝒔𝒐  𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒚  𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒅 ,         pushed  to  the  side  in  favor  of  the  very  glaringly  obvious  differences .    they  both  have  been  hardened  in  similar  ways   --   both  hating  the  concept  of  being  worried  for .    it  isn’t  a  new  concept  for  either  of  them ,    this  standoff  of  strength .    they’re  fine ,    or  so  they  would  insist .   she  takes  claire  in  then ,    blonde  hair  and  tired  eyes   --   and  it  hurts .    in  this  line  of  work  they  don’t  have  time  to  dwell  on  the  past ,   on  the  what  ifs .    but  it’s  hard  to  not  think  about  what  they  could  have  been   . . .   if  the  world  hadn’t     chewed  them  up    and  spat  them  out  so  harshly .

silence  is  forgiven ,     but  the  question  in  return  sours  young  woman’s  expression  in  a  brief  falter  of  her  perfectly  calm  façade .       “    i’m    . . .    i’ve  been  alright .    ”     they  both  know  eachother  well  enough  to  realize      neither  of  them  are  okay ,     they  haven’t  been  in  a  long  time :    who  knows  if  they  ever  will  be  again .     “    missed  ya ,   though .    ”    brunette  offers  up  a  small  smile ,    an  attempt  to  lessen  the  weight  on  both  of  their  shoulders .

[rpclefairy]

𝟐𝟎𝟎 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 

from this generator.

❛ close your eyes and hold out your hands. ❜ ❛ what are you smiling at? ❜ ❛ i can’t leave you alone for one minute, can i? ❜ ❛ was it you? did you do all this? ❜ ❛ i don’t know how you do this every day… ❜ ❛ that is not an appropriate question to ask a lady you’ve just met. ❜ ❛ i’m not sorry. ❜ ❛ i did warn you not to trust me. ❜ ❛ do you remember anything? at all? ❜ ❛ you’re lucky you’re cute. ❜ ❛ why don’t you just kill me? ❜ ❛ did you hurt yourself? ❜ ❛ i could show you the way. ❜ ❛ i don’t feel so good. ❜ ❛ you owe me a dinner. a very nice dinner. ❜ ❛ don’t go. please. ❜ ❛ you wanna know what your problem is? ❜ ❛ i’m here to drink alone. ❜ ❛ don’t run away from this. ❜ ❛ i’m just saying, murder is an option. ❜ ❛ i didn’t realize you were in so much pain. ❜ ❛ i guess it runs in the family, huh? ❜ ❛ you wouldn’t understand. ❜ ❛ we’ve been through a lot. i think we should just lay low and take it easy. ❜ ❛ dangerous to be out so late. ❜ ❛ i hope you haven’t been standing out in the cold this whole time. ❜ ❛ i made a mistake. ❜ ❛ am i not good enough? ❜ ❛ i’m going to get you out of here. ❜ ❛ why did you bring me here? ❜ ❛ aren’t we in a good mood today? ❜ ❛ don’t shut me out. please. ❜ ❛ the storm’s getting worse. ❜ ❛ i never meant to hurt you. ❜ ❛ you’re about as intimidating as a butterfly. ❜ ❛ have you come to laugh at me in my miserable state? ❜ ❛ here, take this. you’ll catch a cold. ❜ ❛ this is the part where you leave. ❜ ❛ why are you talking like we’ll never see each other again? ❜ ❛ you stepped on my foot! ❜ ❛ you’re not a very convincing liar. ❜ ❛ we’re in completely different leagues. ❜ ❛ how did you find me? ❜ ❛ i don’t need you anymore. ❜ ❛ rough day today? ❜ ❛ snap out of it! ❜ ❛ you look better in my clothes than i do. ❜ ❛ why are you still here? ❜ ❛ can i ask… what happened? ❜ ❛ are you saying you care about me? ❜ ❛ i won’t let anyone hurt you. ❜ ❛ it’s not stealing if it was mine to begin with. ❜ ❛ well, this is where i live. ❜ ❛ we’re not so different after all. ❜ ❛ how long have i been asleep? ❜ ❛ no more lies, no more secrets. ❜ ❛ can you forgive me? ❜ ❛ i thought you… i saw you get shot. ❜ ❛ why are you really here? ❜ ❛ i wish we never met. ❜ ❛ you look like you need a hug. ❜ ❛ would you run away with me? ❜ ❛ see? i’m not just a pretty face. ❜ ❛ we can stop them. i can help you. ❜ ❛ what now? i’m tired. ❜ ❛ i didn’t want you to see me like this. ❜ ❛ i can’t do this without you. ❜ ❛ if you tell me yours, i’ll tell you mine. ❜ ❛ are you threatening me? ❜ ❛ did you ever care about me? ❜ ❛ treat me like the princess that i am! ❜ ❛ i’m not leaving you. ❜ ❛ why did you come? ❜ ❛ i need your help… and you need mine. ❜ ❛ i wish i could hate you. ❜ ❛ i see you don’t recognize me. well, it was a long time ago. ❜ ❛ you’ve lost a lot of blood. ❜ ❛ i had my suspicions, but until now i wasn’t sure. ❜ ❛ there’s nothing left for me here. ❜ ❛ that is… literally illegal. you’re describing something illegal. ❜ ❛ wait. i’ve heard that sound before. ❜ ❛ just try to hang on. ❜ ❛ so why’s it so important anyway? ❜ ❛ i’ll stay in tonight, thanks. ❜ ❛ we can’t keep going on like this. ❜ ❛ in about a minute, you’ll be sorry you didn’t listen to me. ❜ ❛ is this seat taken? sorry, it’s a bit crowded here. ❜ ❛ you can’t leave me here alone! ❜ ❛ i’ll believe it when i see it. ❜ ❛ why are you laughing? this is a very serious situation. ❜ ❛ i bought two. here. ❜ ❛ i’ve seen you before, walking by. ❜ ❛ why can’t i come with you? ❜ ❛ c'mon. aren’t you worried what might happen if we go? ❜ ❛ walk with me? ❜ ❛ it’s very rude to stare. ❜ ❛ how many times have i told you? you can’t visit me here. ❜ ❛ we can’t fix this. can we? ❜ ❛ are you going to kill me? ❜ ❛ it’s not like you can stop me. ❜ ❛ it’s not safe for people to see us together. ❜ ❛ take me with you. ❜ ❛ some risks are worth taking. ❜ ❛ let them go. take me instead. ❜ ❛ what do you want in exchange for it? ❜ ❛ is being drunk an excuse? ❜ ❛ promise me you won’t overreact. ❜ ❛ how can i possibly trust you? after all you’ve done. ❜ ❛ how long have you been standing there? ❜ ❛ why did you wake me? ❜ ❛ i’m not here to talk about my feelings. ❜ ❛ you were going to leave without saying goodbye? ❜ ❛ for some reason, i’m attracted to you. ❜ ❛ promise me? ❜ ❛ it’s nothing, i’m just tired. ❜ ❛ i feel safe with you. ❜ ❛ i don’t need your help. ❜ ❛ i think i have a bit more experience with this thing than you do. ❜ ❛ no way, i’m not doing that. ❜ ❛ i do care. ❜ ❛ you snore in your sleep. it’s adorable. ❜ ❛ i have a spare bed. ❜ ❛ you’re very kind. some day it’ll get you killed. ❜ ❛ you’ll always have a home with me. ❜ ❛ of course i care. you’re my family. ❜ ❛ you shouldn’t insult people that are bigger than you. ❜ ❛ i never wanted to hurt you. ❜ ❛ i swear it wasn’t me. ❜ ❛ we can just sit here, you don’t have to talk. ❜ ❛ did you miss me? ❜ ❛ this isn’t just about you. it’s about what’s best for all of us. ❜ ❛ you can never admit when you’re wrong! ❜ ❛ is this what you wanted? ❜ ❛ what are you doing out here by yourself? ❜ ❛ sorry to put you through that. i guess i owe you one now. ❜ ❛ the only time you talk to me is when you need something. ❜ ❛ i’m still learning. ❜ ❛ if you have something to say, spit it out. ❜ ❛ you… don’t like me very much, do you? ❜ ❛ i’m on your side. ❜ ❛ i risked my life for you! ❜ ❛ whatever you’re going to ask, the answer is no. ❜ ❛ you can stay with me. ❜ ❛ i just need time. ❜ ❛ please don’t do this, don’t act like you care. ❜ ❛ who the hell invited you? ❜ ❛ what? no witty remark? nothing clever to say? ❜ ❛ i just wanted to say i’m sorry. ❜ ❛ think of it as a compliment. ❜ ❛ do you ever stop being so serious and dull? ❜ ❛ it’s rare to see your kind around here. ❜ ❛ you remember me. that’s good. ❜ ❛ you’re a terrible flirt you know. ❜ ❛ are you kidding me? we’re not ‘fine’! ❜ ❛ right now i wish i was dead. ❜ ❛ i guess i should’ve told you. ❜ ❛ you’re not alone. i’m here. ❜ ❛ you’ve been so quiet. what’s on your mind? ❜ ❛ knowledge is power. ❜ ❛ you scared me. ❜ ❛ well, what’s so strange about that? ❜ ❛ don’t look at me like that. ❜ ❛ i want to be there when you get what’s coming to you. ❜ ❛ just who do you think you are? ❜ ❛ you look… amazing. ❜ ❛ we’re safe, aren’t we? ❜ ❛ you know, i really hoped i’d never see this place again. ❜ ❛ don’t touch me. get away from me. ❜ ❛ i thought you’d like this. ❜ ❛ it’s too dark, i can’t see anything. ❜ ❛ what’s that smug look for? you think you can do any better? ❜ ❛ who did you piss off this time? ❜ ❛ you should’ve thought about that before you got into a fight. ❜ ❛ i only wanted to help. ❜ ❛ you knew and you didn’t tell me? ❜ ❛ you don’t scare me. ❜ ❛ wow, look who remembered my existence. ❜ ❛ change isn’t easy. ❜ ❛ why did you help me? ❜ ❛ why do you hate me? ❜ ❛ i can’t even trust myself anymore. ❜ ❛ i was making sure you weren’t dead, since you never called. ❜ ❛ you look awful. what happened? ❜ ❛ are you here to kill me? ❜ ❛ you know you aren’t allowed in here, right? ❜ ❛ was that a friend of yours? ❜ ❛ two years later and you haven’t changed. ❜ ❛ you look like you just saw a ghost. ❜ ❛ nobody tells me what to do. ❜ ❛ you’re too scared to do it, aren’t you? ❜ ❛ come on. it can’t be that bad. ❜ ❛ i hope to repay your kindness someday. ❜ ❛ just let me do this for you. ❜ ❛ why were they coming after you? ❜ ❛ how many people have you killed? how many? ❜ ❛ how much do you value your life? ❜ ❛ you don’t know when to give up, do you? ❜ ❛ don’t lie to me. ❜ ❛ i’m not sober enough to talk about this. ❜ ❛ have a drink with me. ❜

[martyrnal]

herelieseddie​.

a   hand   swipes   over   his   face   as   she   returns   with   the   mug   &   he   attempts   to   return   the   smile   but   it   comes   across   more   as   a   grimace   .   he   dumps   as   many   marshmallows   as   he   can   on   top   ,   eating   the   ones   that   fall   over   the   sides   &   onto   the   table   .   ❝   you   don’t   even   wanna   know   ,   ❞   he   mutters   ,   ❝   thanks   for   this   ,   by   the   way   .   ❞   he   wonders   how   long   it   will   take   for   his   friends   to   turn   on   him   -   he   can’t   even   think   of   a   way   to   explain   what   happened   without   getting   sent   straight   to   the   hospital   in   a   straight   jacket   .

𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒏𝒐𝒅𝒔  𝒂𝒔  𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒔 ,        the  offering  coming  as  second  nature :    hospitality  has  been  ingrained  within  her  since  birth .   crystal  has  never  been  one  to  turn  down  those  in  need    . . .    and  maybe ,      even  selfishly ,     she  enjoyed  doing  some  good  for  a  change .       “    what  happened’s  really  none  o’my  business ,   but   --    ”     a  small  shrug.     “    whatever  it  is ,    y’er  welcome  t’stay  here  as  long  as  y’need .    ”     the  person  sat  on  her  couch  doesn’t  seem  like  a  danger ,     he  seems  like  a  ghost .    halfway  there ,    traumatized .    she’s  a  ghost  herself  most  nights    --    but  right  now ,   she’s  more  than  capable  of  offering  comfort ,    even  if  only  in  the  form  of  hot  chocolate .     

[harrenhal]

[martyrnal]

bnjmin​.   

it’s  a  rerun  for  ben,  too    —  partially  the  reason  he  spends  most  of  the  film  on  his  phone,  scrolling  absently.  he  doesn’t  mind,  mostly  because  he  understands  compromise  when  the  other  option  is  what  he’d  witnessed  earlier,  jacob’s  …  spririted  refusal  to  go  to  bed.  but  even  that  is  almost  on  par  with  the  impact  of  the  pillow,  a  firm  smack  to  his  temple.  it  knocks  his  glasses  sideways  on  his  face.  “  —    i’ll  win  in  a  pillow  fight,  dude.”

𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓  𝒔𝒉𝒆’𝒅  𝒈𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏  𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓  𝒕𝒉𝒆        shock  of  it  all ,     lips  stretch  into  the  subtlest  of  downturned  smiles .     crystal  doesn’t  mean  to ,    never  wants  ben  to  feel  mocked ,     especially  not  in  her  home   --   but  she  can’t  help  it ,    a  single  laugh  forces  its  way  out ,   beckoning  a  hand  to  rise  and  cover  it .      “    sorry   --   i .     jacob  . . .   that’s --   that’s    real  rude .    ”     she  tries  her  best  to  sound  serious  but  it  only  encourages  the  boy ,   who’s  already  grabbing  another  pillow     &     ready  to  attack .

[fabelyn]

I’m a sucker for characters who see troubled kids in dangerous situations and basically go “they need parents, guess that’s me now”

[martyrnal]

trying  to  workshop  crystal’s  high  fantasy  verse ,    but !       her  parents  are  well  respected  but  without  title   . . .   her  eldest  brother   keith   is  an  adventurer ,    his  identical  twin   adam   is  an  advisor  to  a  noble  family .   her  youngest  brother   tobias   passed  away  in  an  attack   (  could  be  due  to  a  war ,   or  monster-related  depending  on  the  universe  )    +   this  was  the  catalyst  for  her  to  leave  home ,    abandoning  a  marriage  her  family  had  secured  for  her  as  their  only  daughter    &    running  off  to  either  follow  in  keith’s  footsteps  as  an  adventurer  or  as  a  chambermaid  in  a  noble  household .

[martyrnal]

     confession       →     @zloslwy​​ :   🔪   to  catch  crystal  standing  over  a  dead  body .

𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒕  𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓  𝒉𝒐𝒘  𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈          she’s  been  standing  there ,    hands  bloody ,    body  tense :   staring .    it  never  gets  easier .   and  although  the  body  that  once  was  a  vampire  had  been  a      malevolent  presence ,    to  say  the  least ,    it  doesn’t  make  it  any  less  horrid .      she  still  has  taken  a  life .      one  she  had  killed  wasn’t  the  only  corpse  in  sight     --    stood  beside  a      disgustingly  casual      pile  of  the  creature’s  victims ,    nausea  twisting  deep  within .    she  can  hardly  feel  anything ,   yet  feels  too  much  all  at  the  same  time .      the  door  to  the  shack  she’s  in  opening  almost  goes  unnoticed   --   would  have  if  it  weren’t  for  the     loud  creak     of  iron  hinges  that  startle  the  young  woman  from  her  state .    there’s  a  sharp  inhale  as  she  turns ,   eyes  wide  and  already  leaking  tears   . . .   pulled  from  dissociation  and  reintroduced  to  reality  like  hitting  concrete .        “    i  . . .    ”       any  explanation  catches  within  her  throat .    there  is  no  excuse ,   only  the  facts .    brother’s  words  echo  within  her  mind  :    trust  no  one .    and  yet  . . .       “    he  killed  ‘em .     he  can’t    --   he  can’t  hurt  ‘em  no  more .    ”

[martyrnal]

                     thinking  abt  crystal  and  how  she  kills   . . .   thinking  abt  her  scrubbing  her  bloodstained  hands  raw  and  crying  in  her  bathroom  trying  to  be  quiet  so  she  doesn't  wake  jacob   . . .   about  how  she  prays  every  night  not  for  forgiveness  but  for  her  actions  to  actually  help  people   . . .   about  how  she  knows  what  she  is  doing  is  wrong  but  she  cant  stop   . . .   bc  damning  herself  to  hell  is  worth  it  if  she  can  save  ppl  like  her  baby  brother  &  her  son   . . .

[cunninghamcorey-deactivated2022]

it’s    ʰᵃˡˡᵒʷᵉᵉⁿ    ,    we’re    going    to    have    a    ɢᴏᴏᴅ    ᴛɪᴍᴇ    tonight    .

ᶜᵒʳᵉʸ    ᶜᵘⁿⁿⁱⁿᵍʰᵃᵐ    of    halloween    ends    ,    adored    by    tonia    .

[herelieschrissy]

‘tis   a   fearful   thing   to   love   what   death   can   touch.   a   fearful   thing   to   love,   to   hope,   to   dream,   to   be   –   to   be,   and   oh,   to   lose.   a   thing   for   fools,   this,   and   a   holy   thing,   a   holy   thing   to   love.   for   your   life   has   lived   in   me,   your   laugh   once   lifted   me,   your   word   was   gift   to   me.

⌠         @𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝚂𝙴𝙳𝙳𝙸𝙴   &   @𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝚂𝙲𝙷𝚁𝚁𝙸𝚂𝚈⌡               by   hope   &   ufo.