hello hello you can call me gabi!!! i don't really browse Tumblr too frequently nowadays! i love chatting and talking about danmei and manga! if you wish to talk to me i am mostly active in twit! @/myuumarie
can you give some information about BSD anthology ? is it official and did asagire write it ?and how many chapters in it and where i can read completeđ«đsorry if i ask many questions but plz reply đđ
Bungou Stray Dogs Anthology is a spinoff of the Bungou Stray Dogs franchise. Itâs an official work that Asagiri did not write and Harukawa 35 did not draw. It contains random miscellaneous chapters that were drawn by other manga artists (a lot of them have their own series). It has several chapters, and since it is a spinoff collaboration project that has many people involved, I canât say whether it has completed its run yet (but I donât think it has). It has four book installments right now with various chapters. @ce-la and I havenât finished translating and typesetting all of the chapters, and we donât want to do them all. Ce-la has been generous enough to supply translations for quite a few chapters. Translating is a very long and demanding process, and since weâre doing this for our own enjoyment and leisure, we donât have a set schedule for releasing them nor will we ever have one.
The following list has been provided by Ce-la and it lists the chapters that have been done.
Anthology 1 - Rin
Mom
When the Mafia Accidentally Read a Story Written on a Whim and Got Transported to an Alternate Universe
The Devilâs Automatic Door
How to Find Happiness
Hello, again winter dreams.
A Flurry of Cats in Fair Weather
Anthology 2 - Hana
The Detective Agencyâs and Port Mafiaâs Day Off
Thank you for all your hard work translating KoD!!!
That first extra just fucked me up... so everything weâve read actually took place within the twelfth door? And LQS was just reliving everything with RNZ taking over his role? I guess that explains why LQS never got upset going through the doors, because this was actually his twelfth door. And when someone mentioned that RNZ was affected by his first doors, they were actually talking about LQS?
And RNZâs ability to see people whoâre âblessed by the doorsâ!!! So when he saw LQS as the most blessed, is that why he fell in love with him originally? Or is LQS the most blessed because RNZ fell in love with him? Or does the ability actually show how far through the doors people are - LQS appears the most blessed because heâs on his twelfth door?
So RNZ never actually existed in the real world until the very end... so if LQS goes to RNZâs family house now, will there be no-one there?
Iâm seriously mindblown I never expected a twist like this... but Iâm really happy that LQS doesnât care and just loves RNZ regardless đ
my absolute pleasure!!
YEAH it was all the twelfth door, a.k.a. RNZ!! The implications are fascinatingâyeah, LQS is actually super experienced, but he has no memories of his original life, so maybe his calmness really is just how he is! Or youâre right, and thereâs like, a little bleed-through of his previous knowledge of the doors. It feels pretty significant that neither LQS nor RNZ regain memories of their past lives, that they stay who they are, retaining their leader!RNZ, adult-door-enterer!LQS life experiences. Iâd love to see people explore this in fic/art/meta.
The RNZ-LQS overlay is another fascinating thing! I think thatâs a great questionâwas Zhou-jie actually talking about teenager!LQS when she said teenager!RNZ cried in his second door? But, considering that LQS doesnât revert to his past self and âreclaimâ any memories, I think itâs also plausible that Zhou-jie really was talking about teenager!RNZ. What entity!RNZ wanted was the Full Human Experienceâą, after all, and despite the revelation that heâs actually a god, I think he pretty effectively made himself completely human.
YEAH YEAH YEAH as I was translating, every time RNZ said a line about LQS being âblessed by the doorsâ or how heâs âcompatible with the doors,â I got all eyes emoji. I think LQS got all the way through the twelfth door by his own merit, and the glow/blessing RNZ sees is a reflection of that! And when RNZ made himself into a person, he conveniently maintains the ability to see compatibility with the doors and finds LQS again (or, in order to find LQS again??? Oooh). I love the idea that the more doors you get through, the more you glow to RNZ!!!!! and he must find it so fucking annoying on some people LMAO, but itâs beautiful and sweet on his darling <3
yeah...isnât it so wild...RNZâs familyâs entirely fake ig?? iâm very curious about his older brother, bc LQS doesnât have one right? BUT okay, if RNZâs entry into reality was able to shift everyoneâs memories to accommodate him...would that mean RNZâs family DOES remember him?? heâs hella method after all ksdnfs he wouldnât just let his whole backstory disappear. Those are real memories to him, besides. ITâS ALL SO INTERESTING TO THINK ABOUT.
LQS DOESNâT GIVE A CRAP AND THATâS BEAUTIFUL. THATâS LOVE BABIE. AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Hey, so I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, because I am kinda new to tumblr. Honestly, I only downloaded it to read your translations, which I very much enjoy.
A couple of minutes ago I read the last two chapters you uploaded. I must tell you - reading those last couple of chapters was a rollercoaster of emotions. :D Your amazing translations aside, I didn't really get all of the things that were mentioned in the first Extra. Maybe because english is not my first language or something else. Either way, I was wondering if everything Quishi and Nanzu experienced together was the 12th door? Or did Nanzu wipe and change all the memories the people had? Or did something completely different happen? That was what I didn't really get. On the other side, how did Nanzu start liking Quishi in the first place, how did he even know him in the first place? Also, if I understood correctly, Nanzhu was the 12th door, so if he didn't fall in love with him, would Quishi just pass the twelve door, like he usually did with the other doors? Yeah, so that were my thoughts... Sorry, if I couldn't explain some of my questions the way you could understand :D Some of them probably didn't even make sense. And if you don't have any answers to my questions or the answers will follow in the other extras, don't bother with me :D Either way, if you read this, thank you for your attention âĄ
HAH welcome to hell site thank you SO much for suffering the app to read these translations <3
DONâT WORRY itâs honestly so bloody wild. Many Chinese fans are still like â???????â about it. And some things are definitely up for interpretation!!
Yesâeverything youâve read from chapter 1 on happened in the twelfth door. RNZ is the NPC guarding the 12th door, and he decided to recreate the world in which he was in LQSâs shoes. Heâs the one who started entering doors as a teenager, heâs the one whose family loves him but believes heâs crazy, heâs the one who becomes the leader of Obsidian. He places LQS into this slightly different world and begins going through the doors with LQS again, all to fulfill his fanboy wishes of being part of his idolâs life and journey.
Now onto the question of RNZ being the twelfth door. Itâs definitely confusing because in ch139, it feels like the conclusion was that there IS no distinct 12th door? You go through doors 1-10 to prove your mettle. Door 11 is the judgement door, in which you undergo trial by everyone/everything youâve encountered so far. Door 12 felt essentially like the door on the other side of Door 11? If you survive Door 11, you can either choose to stay in Door 11 or leave through Door 12.
Which begs the question, what the fuck is RNZ? If there is no actual trial/game/puzzle for Door 12, what exactly happened when LQS entered Door 12 (which RNZ watched on the television)?
One way to read it is, the trial by 100 ghosts is the test of Door 11, while the choice to stay or leave is the test of Door 12. This reading makes sense for the doors system as a whole, right? The doors are about granting new life, and door 11 judges whether or not youâre good enough of a person to stay alive (WHICH IS KIND OF HILARIOUS TO ME). Door 12 then, asks you which life you want to live in, which to me is a very interesting claim to what âlivingâ means.
The question this doesnât answer though, is RNZâs role in the whole operation. If heâs just an NPC like he guesses, what exactly was the test that he put to LQS? If the test of Door 12 itself is whether or not you go through it, it doesnât quite make sense that LQS chose to go through it (RNZ saw him enter Door 12 on the television!), chose to return to reality, and RNZâs test makes him go through an entirely different version of reality again before LQS gets to actually return to reality.
Maybe that really is what happened though...!! Heâs certainly self-serving (affectionate) enough lmfao
but hereâs my personal headcanon: that RNZ is not an NPC, heâs literally the god that governs all the doors. The Door 12 you see in the hallway is like...his office. The actual Door 12 is still at the end of Door 11. My headcanon is that he created this entire system of the doors to give people a second chance at life, and LQS is the first person to ever get through all the doors, which requires a firm faith in the good will of the doors (something that RNZ repeatedly emphasizes throughout his acquaintance with LQS) and good character. Thatâs why RNZ falls in love with him. Thatâs why RNZ gets to change the entire course of the world (of every single world) just to be with LQS. He wasnât operating as a door and testing LQS, he was just...being in love.
If thatâs the case then I think youâre rightâhad RNZ not fallen in love with LQS, LQS wouldnât have to go through all the doors again. Heâs not sorry though kdslnfsd RNZ is literally just super happy that he got to be with LQS and he made himself such a big presence in LQSâs life. In a way, the Bai Ming-Zhang Yiqing story is a fun little parallel. Both RNZ and BM are fanboys who ingratiate themselves into the lives of their idols.
Thereâs a little more insight to Door 11 in the twins extras, but yeah! This is my personal reading. Iâd love to hear other peopleâs interpretations, if theyâre different!!
CONGRATULATION ON FINISHING THE FINAL CHAPTERS (ïŸâăźâ)ïŸ*:ïŸâ§
I like how things are wrapped up. It's a little but "huh?" but when I think about it from the begining it makes sense and the final door starts from chapter 1 is actually a cool plot twist. LQS is very chill in comparison to other players. I was afraid Xi Zixu will make him a psychopath or something but it turns out he's the oldest fox =))))) A little iffy when some doors they struggle a lot to make it through so it must be hard on LQS to pass them all alone. I wonder if he has any help.
AND BABE I LOVE YOUR TAKE
"He gazes frankly into the abyss, and the abyss gazed back. The abyss gazed back and fucking fell in love..."
"He wasnât operating as a door and testing LQS, he was just...being in love."
YES HE'S JUST BEING IN LOVEEEEEE
And the parallel with Bai Ming-Zhang Yiqing too. Fanboy Right!!! The moment Bai Ming is introduced I just man, Zhang Yiqing, you're done. Doneeee. There's no way you can get away from Bai Ming =)))) I actually thought Li Dongyuan will make an extra couple at first but he's straight af and his story with Zhuang Rujiao is so sad. He tried so hard to protect her àŒŒ 〠àČ„_àČ„ àŒœă€
THANK YOU MY DEAR AAAAHHH you've been a cornerstone of my translation experience ;;; bless you bless your heart honor to your whole family
right! i appreciate a good twist that brings us full-circle, y'know? and it's pretty damn clever to end the novel at the very beginning, and the whole metaphor is a clock. it all makes me kind of wish there was a way for her to make the hallway with the 12 doors a circle, but that would've been too on-the-nose, huh?
LOLOLOL OH GOD, i've only read one other xzx novel but now i'm trying to imagine a plot-twist switcheroo where LQS is the psychopath...that'd be pretty wild. i mean, there was a point where she really got me worrying that LQS did make RNZ up. also, i honestly live for the moment in the hako onna door where LQS was literally that b99 meme of "if anything happens to Zhu Meng I will kill everyone here and then myself." i love how much xzx's characters all have that potential for crossing the line, y'know? and just going completely nuts
YEAH HAHAHAHAHAHA FANBOY RIGHTS!!!!!! yeah i'm honestly so obsessed with the image of entity!RNZ watching LQS on his crappy little TV and just!! simping!!!!! simping so hard he turned the entire world upside down!!!! well no he took the timeline, peeled it open like a tangerine, wedged himself inside, and zipped the skin back up behind him. you gotta love an action-oriented Hi-I'm-Your-Biggest-Fan king.
Bai Ming has had 10 seconds of screen time but i'm already obsessed with him. LI DONGYUAN SHIPS, OHOHOHO. I'M INTRIGUED. it's okay LDY and ZRJ can be bi4bi, 'cause c'mon, ZRJ went full lady vengeance (a wlw move if i've ever seen one) and LDY lied in a coffin and clasped LQS reeeeeaaaal tight...i can't wait to go back and translate the sister drum door 'cause i've never paid attention to his interactions with ZRJ, and ZRJ's storyline goddamn breaks my heart.
okay okay who else is there...the all-stars side cast: Tan Zaozao, Bai Ming, Gu Longming, Li Dongyuan, Sun Yuanzhou, Xiao Mei (QUEEEEEEN JESUS CHRIST), Zhou-jie...and can't forget the ghosts. Who do we stan here? The birthday triplets, the skinned sisters, Satchan, Zhou Hanshan (the absolute disaster king; he should have an acting challenge against RNZ), Hako Onna. I also love the random clump of fucking hair from RNZ's door kdjnfkjs
IDEALLY IT WOULD BE KINDA HOT IF QIUSHI AND NANZHU RETURNED BACK TO THE DOOR WORLD AND BECAME THE BOSSES OF THE 12TH DOOR AGAIN. at least they wouldn't be bored? and also i just imagine people going through the door and seeing those two being lovey dovey, force fed dog food eheheheh
One brisk autumn day, the doors forum went nuts again, because the twelfth door was apparently back open for business.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE," "Was it a scheduled maintenance or what," "Okay but did anyone actually manage to pass 11 when 12 was still closed"âwere just some of the fun topics of conversation.
Ever since Ruan Nanzhu's return, he'd stopped keeping tabs on the forum, happily casting it aside in favor of retirement. Lin Qiushi, however, was different. In the year he'd spent lonely and alone, he'd made a habit of scouring the forums for any potential mention of Ruan Nanzhu's name, and had never stopped accessing the forum every, oh, three days or so, to check out the latest community news.
Plus, he had extra reason to check the forum that morning. The situation was kind of his fault after all.
It took Ruan Nanzhu another four days to hear the news, and of course it was Ye Niao's loudmouth that clued him into it. Lin Qiushi had been having such a mischievous, fun time thanks to Ruan Nanzhu not knowing. But it was also good that Ruan Nanzhu found out, because there was a veteran trio coming out of White DeerâZhuang Rujiao includedâscheduled to enter their eleventh door, and Lin Qiushi knew he and Ruan Nanzhu ought to have a conversation before that happened.
So, after Ye Niao was neatly sent on his way ("R-Ruan-geâWait, Lin-geâhuh? Uh, oh, okay okay, I'll just be, off then."), Lin Qiushi stayed seated on the couch, settled his hands in his lap, and let Ruan Nanzhu wheel around on him.
"Qiushi." His tone wasn't suspicious, because there was nothing to be suspicious aboutâhe'd already figured everything out. That Lin Qiushi checked the forum on the regular was a fact, therefore Lin Qiushi's deliberate failure to tell Ruan Nanzhu the news was also a fact. And why would Lin Qiushi intentionally not tell Ruan Nanzhu such a potentially critical development?
So he could sit there and look endearingly smug about it, apparently. Which meant a) it was likely not a critical development, at least not one that may jeopardize Ruan Nanzhu in any way, and b) it was likely Lin Qiushi's doing.
"Nanzhu," Lin Qiushi replied, all pleasant smiling.
"Qiushi," Ruan Nanzhu repeated, taking deliberate and interested steps forward. Lin Qiushi had called this his prowl several times in the past, and Ruan Nanzhu circled Lin Qiushi like so. Neither of them looked at all unhappy about this dynamic. "What have you done?"
Lin Qiushi's gaze slipped upward to the left, and his lips were parted as if a laugh was perched just on the brink of them, waiting to jump. Ruan Nanzhu would much rather be the one perched on those lips instead.
"I...accepted an invitation, that's all."
"An invitation from whom?"
"From...the doors, I guess?" An elegant finger pointed at Ruan Nanzhu. Did he honestly have no idea what that upturned wrist did to Ruan Nanzhu? Had he no clue the invitation that sent? "It came to me in a dream."
Ever since coming out of the doors, Lin Qiushi's personality too had gotten livelier. Your bad influence, Bai Ming had accused of Ruan Nanzhu once. Ruan Nanzhu had stonily returned something about him not knowing the Chinese language if he thought anything about Lin Qiushi could be anywhere close to "bad," and then something like just because your dick game isn't strong enough to please your lover...
Yeah, Ruan Nanzhu was a bitch, but there was nothing he delighted in more than the fact that his darling, his sweetheart, his universally beloved Good Guy Lin Qiushi stooped to his level sometimes, too. And actually kind of loved it.
So Ruan Nanzhu pouted.
"You dreamt of something other than Mengmeng? Mengmeng's hurt."
Lin Qiushi laughed and got to his feet, looking as sweet on Ruan Nanzhu as he always did.
"But it was of you though. I saw the twelfth door open in my dream."
When Lin Qiushi took his hands, Ruan Nanzhu was actually keen on a more extensive answer this time. The twelfth door? He was the twelfth door, so what fake motherfucker-twelfth door was opening itself to Lin Qiushi now?? And if the twelfth door was powerful enough to insert Ruan Nanzhu into reality, then did it also have the power to, say, take Lin Qiushi out?
"Don't worry so hard, babe," Lin Qiushi said quietly, pressing his lips to Ruan Nanzhu's furrowed brow. "You have permission to come with me."
A tension that Ruan Nanzhu hadn't been aware of dissolved along his back and shoulders.
"Go where?" He sounded plaintive enough to earn another warm kiss; Lin Qiushi liked to tease, but could never do it for long if Ruan Nanzhu broke out the whining.
Lin Qiushi's eyes, though, were still sparkling.
"Hey, I just figured fair's fair, right?" Their fingers danced together in midair between them, skimming and climbing as if each other's fingers were piano keys, all at once. "You get my past life, and I get yours."
Ruan Nanzhu blinked.
"It's less than a part-time gig, really," Lin Qiushi continued, "considering how few people make it to the eleventh door."
Ruan Nanzhu squinted, concentrating real hard on the halo of light that always surrounded his loverâat least to his eyes. Did it seem a bit different now?
...It did. Holy shit.
"Are you telling me..."
Lin Qiushi nodded. His eyes were shy but his lips were smug.
Holy shit. Ruan Nanzhu clasped Lin Qiushi's fingers. Firmly.
"What powers do you have?!" And, when the answer wasn't immediately forthcoming, Ruan Nanzhu shook his lover. "Qiushi. What powers do you have!"
Lin Qiushi stared at him some more, before grimacing. Oh, this perceptive darling of his knew him so very well.
"Yes, I can give you a female form again," Lin Qiushi sighed, not out of exasperation for drag (he loved Baijie and Mengmengâhe couldn't deny that), but out of exasperation for Ruan Nanzhu's one-track mind. Ruan Nazhu could've howled in joy. "And yes, we can visit the twelfth door dimension any time for...practice."
It seemed he wasn't the only one with a one-track mind. Or a creative one.
"Well." With the very tip of a single, seductive finger, Ruan Nanzhu traced a long, winding S-pattern across and down Lin Qiushi's chest. Lin Qiushi shivered. "As the last being to occupy that position, I'm duty-bound to help you transition into your new role, aren't I?"
A quiet, loving grin slipped onto Lin Qiushi's lips.
"But you don't remember shit," he chuckled. Ruan Nanzhu tapped at his own temple.
"Maybe not up here, butâ" If Lin Qiushi wasn't going to shove his hand down Ruan Nanzhu's pants, Ruan Nanzhu would just have to do it for him. "âyou're welcome to extract all the muscle memory you can from my body."
Did you know Kaleidoscope of Death has an amazing audio drama? While not fully subtitled in English, hereâs a quick breakdown of episodes and their corresponding doors (not including the interim drama):
Scarecrow: 16-18
(*Note* this is the Slenderman door, but Slenderman was swapped out for copyright reasons)
Waverly Hills Sanatorium: 19-22
Mirrors: 23-25
River God:Â 26-28
(Ep 29 is like a bonus Li Dongyuan episode?? I know thereâs a LDY stan out there, go off king)
Teru Teru BĆzu: 30-32
Sculptures: 34-36
The Hair Woman: 38-42
(*Note* this is the Hako Onna door, but the Hako Onna was swapped out for copyright reasons)
Kingdom: 43
(*Note* this is the twinsâ tenth door played out in full, which was not depicted in the novel; content from the twinsâ extras are also in here)
Last Door: 44-47
(*Note* this includes content from the extra)
Did you know Kaleidoscope of Death has an amazing audio drama? While not fully subtitled in English, hereâs a quick breakdown of episodes and their corresponding doors (not including the interim drama):
Scarecrow: 16-18
(*Note* this is the Slenderman door, but Slenderman was swapped out for copyright reasons)
Waverly Hills Sanatorium: 19-22
Mirrors: 23-25
River God:Â 26-28
(Ep 29 is like a bonus Li Dongyuan episode?? I know thereâs a LDY stan out there, go off king)
Teru Teru BĆzu: 30-32
Sculptures: 34-36
The Hair Woman: 38-42
(*Note* this is the Hako Onna door, but the Hako Onna was swapped out for copyright reasons)
Kingdom: 43
(*Note* this is the twinsâ tenth door played out in full, which was not depicted in the novel; content from the twinsâ extras are also in here)
Last Door: 44-47
(*Note* this includes content from the extra)
KOD IS FINISHED!! See the KoD Masterlist for all translated chapters.
**THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS**
All chapters are linked above, so please donât scroll down unless you donât mind spoilers! All spoilers are also tagged âkod spoilersâ for blacklisting.
My inbox is always open to
questions and concerns
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Kaleidoscope of Death audio drama Season 1 theme song
originally hosted on missevan
[VERSE]
A flash of a moment
to pass through the psychopomp door
Long-burning lights
illuminate the lone wheel moon at the edge of the sky
Bowing
to honor the ghostly gods
The multitudes of love and hate
all cease to exist in an instant
How many seasons
have you walked through alone this life?
Desolate cities, loss, the flickering ghosts of the past
Glancing back
that person in the distance
their laughing words are tender
returning us to the good times and days again
[CHORUS]
The mirror shatters
to reflect the human heart
in its mass of kindnesses and vices
The countless farewells
are like starlight
disappearing in one lone wink
Every round of day and night
is packed with perils and dangers
yet we never backed away
Weâve always known that
the vow that broke through the vicious flames
deserves to be remembered
[VERSE]
Light and dark have halted
This blood-colored world
does not distinguish between whatâs real and whatâs fake
The solution to the puzzle
lies simply in a touch of mercy and acceptance
Turns out, to catch a glimpse of the universe
one only has to lay it all on the line
[REPEAT CHORUS]
[VERSE]
This world of a thousand worlds
We start at the start
and go back to the ending
Draw it into a circle
How to choose
between reality and illusion?
The last farewell
Wondering if reunion
is close at hand
The vow long-stored in the heart
must be realized by a lifetimeâs work
Head toward that door of eternal day
the soul thatâs come back to life again
OK IM SCREAMING BC OF THAT ENDING!!!! Holy shit!!! I can see why it would be so debated but tbh I think I agree with your assessment that itâs overall thematically linked well enough with the story aaaa, Iâm gonna miss these two so much *cries*
YEAH AAAAAAAAAH okay okay so, two main complaints I read about the Twist is, 1) doesnât that make RNZ a deus ex machina and ruin all the stakes that came before, and 2) why bother with this kind of ending twist in the very last chapter plus an extra?? isnât it cheap?
Re: #1, no, i donât think thatâs true! Satchan confirms that RNZâs life truly was on the line the entire time, and RNZ is so fucking method that he gives himself a super long and detailed backstory. Yes, RNZ is an entity, but at no point does that give him an actual advantage to survival. Thatâs what makes this revelation so interestingâheâs more of a faux ex machina. Itâs revealed by the same brushstroke that he both orchestrated everything and has no power over any of it slkdjnflskdjfnlsd which is simply WILD and AMAZING to me
Re: #2, i think that depends on what readers think the novel is about. To me, the question at the center of this novel is, âwhat does it mean to live?â In the very first door, RNZ offers an answerâthat survival may be filled with horror, but itâs something to be grateful for nevertheless. To extrapolate outwards, humans are born to die, right? Everyone going through the doors are keenly reminded of their own mortality, and the choice is either embracing and confronting the horror, or hide. TZZ is LQSâs thematic foil in this regardâshe is sympathetically portrayed as someone too frightened to take the doors head-on, and this is what kills her. She is not willing to give up her life as an actor! Which makes so much sense! But I think one point the novel makes is, even if youâre scared, the horror never goes away. Nanqiu say as much in flippant lines throughout the doorsââIâm scared!â âSo what? Does you being scared mean itâs not going to come for you??â Time is always ticking on (which is the central motif of the last door, and all 12 doors), so itâs actually more beneficial in the long-term to take the horror head-on.
LQS faces the horror. He gazes frankly into the abyss, and the abyss gazed back. The abyss gazed back and fucking fell in love, because the abyss gives what the abyss gets. This is a horror novel, but itâs all about LQSâs (and RNZâs) ability to actually comprehend the needs of the ghosts/monsters in order to fulfill those needs. While so many other characters are terrified or scornful of the ghosts, LQS performs that emotional laborâŠand entity!RNZ falls in love with him for it. RNZ becomes a human for him because of this. I think thatâs phenomenal.
(And it really informs the summary/preview, which seems completely out of left field until youâve finished the novel lmfao.)
Thereâs also more to say about the fight to live, the agreement to NOT live between nanqiu, and entity!RNZâs choice to come alive, I think, but this post is already long lololol
First of all, Iâd like to thank you so much for your hard work getting these translations up so quickly! To the point I felt guilty wondering whether you might be losing sleep over them! I love this story to pieces! Aah, so sad now that itâs over. But I especially want to thank you for uploading the last chapter and extra 1 together so I donât have to go crazy waiting for them to come apiece!
That said, Iâm so sorry for freeloading onto your post instead of sending an ask, but this turned out too long to put in one. I love hearing your thoughts on the twist! I find them really interesting! I think my initial reaction was similar to a lot of people in the â???â department. I didnât hate it but it left me wondering if the twist was actually necessary, and I think thatâs actually the point.
Does it matter that RNZ is an entity from the door? No, because in the end, RNZ was human in all the ways that mattered, and thatâs why the twist is in an âoh, by the wayâ extra. As youâve said before in response to complaint #1, Sacchan had confirmed that if RNZ died in one of the âfakeâ doors, he dies for real. He doesnât get special treatment or a special pass at death for being a door entity. He chose to be human and thus goes through all the trials that comes with being human, which is why his experiences with LQS isnât invalidated just because he turned out to be a door entity. In a way, I think the 12th door was actually more of a test for RNZ himself. In a lot of ways (LQSâs negative EQ stats aside), the reason their relationship stalled for the longest time despite RNZ falling in love earlier was because of his own hesitations and doubts that he had to overcome. The trial of becoming, being, and staying human⊠isnât that the biggest and hardest trial of all?
For your response to complaint #2, I also want to add that one other theme of this story is karma. Itâs stated as early as the first arc. You canât murder in the doors because if you do, the victimâs ghost will kill you. Be kind when you can and you will be treated kindly in turn. LQS was not only sympathetic and cordial to some of the monsters in the doors, but he was even willing to help them. Of course such feelings would be reflected right back at him in the end.
Iâve also frequently seen complaints that after the first several doors, the author got lazy, and I think itâs because the horror/gore kind of tapers off a bit. But in my opinion, the horror is not the ends to the mean. In the first place, the story isnât horror for the sake of horror but to emphasize the transience of life, and the choices we make in the face of death. So while some people think the 11th door was lazy, I liked it because it was very much in the spirit of the theme of âwhat goes around comes aroundâ introduced in the very first arc.
P.S. By the way, Iâm so, so sad that Chen Qianli doesnât make one more appearance before the end. I kind of wanted to see him help out LQS and/or RNZ :(
Again, sorry for hijacking this post. Thank you so much again for finishing this lovely piece of work to a wider audience!
oh please please please do not apologize, especially when youâre giving us such brilliant insights!!!!!
because in the end, RNZ was human in all the ways that mattered, and thatâs why the twist is in an âoh, by the wayâ extra.
yes yes yes yes thatâs it exactly. itâs actually so sexy of the author to be like âoh right, forgot about this lil bit hahahaâ and slide it across the table like that
I think the 12th door was actually more of a test for RNZ himself. âŠThe trial of becoming, being, and staying human⊠isnât that the biggest and hardest trial of all?
YES DEAR GOD YES. RNZ took away all his own memories and made himself live a full life as a humanâthis is what it takes to unbecome a god. And out of that process emerged the question of romance. He embarked on this entire journey in order to be with LQS, but when actually given the opportunity, like you said, heâs the one who backed away first. Heâs no longer asking the question âcan I be with him,â heâs asking the question âis it good for him to be with me?â I LOVE thinking of that as a test of humanhood!!! And if weâre linking it back to the themes on karma, this is RNZ-as-the-abyss gazing back at LQS with the kindness he was shown!!
For your response to complaint #2, I also want to add that one other theme of this story is karma. Itâs stated as early as the first arc. You canât murder in the doors because if you do, the victimâs ghost will kill you.
AAAAHHHHHH EXACTLY!!!!! This story is so consistent in its values!!!!! Over and over again weâre told the doors are a second chance for you to demonstrate your will to live, your sense of compassion and humanity, and your ability to respect a bottom line (donât sacrifice others for the sake of your own survival)!! And thatâs why its choice to use the horror genre as a vehicle to convey those themes is such a hook, at least for me. I absolutely agree with you, itâs using horror to push the stakes to the point of life and death. Itâs the means to an end. Thatâs exactly why it works so well with the beats of humor and the interjections of tragedy.
OK IM SCREAMING BC OF THAT ENDING!!!! Holy shit!!! I can see why it would be so debated but tbh I think I agree with your assessment that itâs overall thematically linked well enough with the story aaaa, Iâm gonna miss these two so much *cries*
YEAH AAAAAAAAAH okay okay so, two main complaints I read about the Twist is, 1) doesnât that make RNZ a deus ex machina and ruin all the stakes that came before, and 2) why bother with this kind of ending twist in the very last chapter plus an extra?? isnât it cheap?
Re: #1, no, i donât think thatâs true! Satchan confirms that RNZâs life truly was on the line the entire time, and RNZ is so fucking method that he gives himself a super long and detailed backstory. Yes, RNZ is an entity, but at no point does that give him an actual advantage to survival. Thatâs what makes this revelation so interestingâheâs more of a faux ex machina. Itâs revealed by the same brushstroke that he both orchestrated everything and has no power over any of it slkdjnflskdjfnlsd which is simply WILD and AMAZING to me
Re: #2, i think that depends on what readers think the novel is about. To me, the question at the center of this novel is, âwhat does it mean to live?â In the very first door, RNZ offers an answerâthat survival may be filled with horror, but itâs something to be grateful for nevertheless. To extrapolate outwards, humans are born to die, right? Everyone going through the doors are keenly reminded of their own mortality, and the choice is either embracing and confronting the horror, or hide. TZZ is LQSâs thematic foil in this regardâshe is sympathetically portrayed as someone too frightened to take the doors head-on, and this is what kills her. She is not willing to give up her life as an actor! Which makes so much sense! But I think one point the novel makes is, even if youâre scared, the horror never goes away. Nanqiu say as much in flippant lines throughout the doorsââIâm scared!â âSo what? Does you being scared mean itâs not going to come for you??â Time is always ticking on (which is the central motif of the last door, and all 12 doors), so itâs actually more beneficial in the long-term to take the horror head-on.
LQS faces the horror. He gazes frankly into the abyss, and the abyss gazed back. The abyss gazed back and fucking fell in love, because the abyss gives what the abyss gets. This is a horror novel, but itâs all about LQSâs (and RNZâs) ability to actually comprehend the needs of the ghosts/monsters in order to fulfill those needs. While so many other characters are terrified or scornful of the ghosts, LQS performs that emotional laborâŠand entity!RNZ falls in love with him for it. RNZ becomes a human for him because of this. I think thatâs phenomenal.
(And it really informs the summary/preview, which seems completely out of left field until youâve finished the novel lmfao.)
Thereâs also more to say about the fight to live, the agreement to NOT live between nanqiu, and entity!RNZâs choice to come alive, I think, but this post is already long lololol
First of all, Iâd like to thank you so much for your hard work getting these translations up so quickly! To the point I felt guilty wondering whether you might be losing sleep over them! I love this story to pieces! Aah, so sad now that itâs over. But I especially want to thank you for uploading the last chapter and extra 1 together so I donât have to go crazy waiting for them to come apiece!
That said, Iâm so sorry for freeloading onto your post instead of sending an ask, but this turned out too long to put in one. I love hearing your thoughts on the twist! I find them really interesting! I think my initial reaction was similar to a lot of people in the â???â department. I didnât hate it but it left me wondering if the twist was actually necessary, and I think thatâs actually the point.
Does it matter that RNZ is an entity from the door? No, because in the end, RNZ was human in all the ways that mattered, and thatâs why the twist is in an âoh, by the wayâ extra. As youâve said before in response to complaint #1, Sacchan had confirmed that if RNZ died in one of the âfakeâ doors, he dies for real. He doesnât get special treatment or a special pass at death for being a door entity. He chose to be human and thus goes through all the trials that comes with being human, which is why his experiences with LQS isnât invalidated just because he turned out to be a door entity. In a way, I think the 12th door was actually more of a test for RNZ himself. In a lot of ways (LQSâs negative EQ stats aside), the reason their relationship stalled for the longest time despite RNZ falling in love earlier was because of his own hesitations and doubts that he had to overcome. The trial of becoming, being, and staying human⊠isnât that the biggest and hardest trial of all?
For your response to complaint #2, I also want to add that one other theme of this story is karma. Itâs stated as early as the first arc. You canât murder in the doors because if you do, the victimâs ghost will kill you. Be kind when you can and you will be treated kindly in turn. LQS was not only sympathetic and cordial to some of the monsters in the doors, but he was even willing to help them. Of course such feelings would be reflected right back at him in the end.
Iâve also frequently seen complaints that after the first several doors, the author got lazy, and I think itâs because the horror/gore kind of tapers off a bit. But in my opinion, the horror is not the ends to the mean. In the first place, the story isnât horror for the sake of horror but to emphasize the transience of life, and the choices we make in the face of death. So while some people think the 11th door was lazy, I liked it because it was very much in the spirit of the theme of âwhat goes around comes aroundâ introduced in the very first arc.
P.S. By the way, Iâm so, so sad that Chen Qianli doesnât make one more appearance before the end. I kind of wanted to see him help out LQS and/or RNZ :(
Again, sorry for hijacking this post. Thank you so much again for finishing this lovely piece of work to a wider audience!
oh please please please do not apologize, especially when youâre giving us such brilliant insights!!!!!
because in the end, RNZ was human in all the ways that mattered, and thatâs why the twist is in an âoh, by the wayâ extra.
yes yes yes yes thatâs it exactly. itâs actually so sexy of the author to be like âoh right, forgot about this lil bit hahahaâ and slide it across the table like that
I think the 12th door was actually more of a test for RNZ himself. âŠThe trial of becoming, being, and staying human⊠isnât that the biggest and hardest trial of all?
YES DEAR GOD YES. RNZ took away all his own memories and made himself live a full life as a humanâthis is what it takes to unbecome a god. And out of that process emerged the question of romance. He embarked on this entire journey in order to be with LQS, but when actually given the opportunity, like you said, heâs the one who backed away first. Heâs no longer asking the question âcan I be with him,â heâs asking the question âis it good for him to be with me?â I LOVE thinking of that as a test of humanhood!!! And if weâre linking it back to the themes on karma, this is RNZ-as-the-abyss gazing back at LQS with the kindness he was shown!!
For your response to complaint #2, I also want to add that one other theme of this story is karma. Itâs stated as early as the first arc. You canât murder in the doors because if you do, the victimâs ghost will kill you.
AAAAHHHHHH EXACTLY!!!!! This story is so consistent in its values!!!!! Over and over again weâre told the doors are a second chance for you to demonstrate your will to live, your sense of compassion and humanity, and your ability to respect a bottom line (donât sacrifice others for the sake of your own survival)!! And thatâs why its choice to use the horror genre as a vehicle to convey those themes is such a hook, at least for me. I absolutely agree with you, itâs using horror to push the stakes to the point of life and death. Itâs the means to an end. Thatâs exactly why it works so well with the beats of humor and the interjections of tragedy.
So this was gonna be a somewhat amusing discussion of if Yan Wushi was actually jealous or resentful towards his own personality (xie ling) for gaining Shen Qiaoâs affections because I think itâs funny to think about and I never came to the conclusion of whether I think he was legit or if it was just for show and just to tease SQ. However, it got me thinking about deeper implications like about his past and perhaps him holding resentment towards that particular past when he was Xie Ling and whatever caused it. Maybe it could tie into SQâs favoritism of that part of him like âIâm so superior to who I was in the past and yet he is the one you like?â It makes me wish we got some insight into when Yan Wushi was Xie Ling. But I am definitely overthinking this and dumping it all into your ask because I didnât know who else to bother with this lol
anon you know exactly why youâre bothering me with this and itâs because this absolutely haunts me on a regular basis
Iâve mentioned off-hand before, buried somewhere in the absolute mess of my ăćç§ă tag, but I really do appreciate Meng Xishiâs decision to leave Yan Wushiâs backstory completely opaque and unknown, unknowable. we donât know who Yan Wushi had been, what caused him to change, why he is like this--she just offers us the barest, tantalizing hints of who he might have been, who he might have become
(again, another reason why I thought Xie Xiang was going to be like. moderately relevant to the plot? and then he vanished and never showed up again)
whatâs the first thing Yan Wushi says to Shen Qiao, when heâs delirious and nearly-dead from a head wound, before he remembers who Shen Qiao is, before he even remembers his own name?
donât go.
which you can shrug off as something anyone would say if they had woken up, alone and hurting in an unfamiliar place, to the first person who shows them kindness. Shen Qiao certainly shrugs it off as Yan Wushiâs delirium, because he knows that the Yan Wushi he knows would scoff at weakness like that
donât go. who left Yan Wushi, and why? who had they been to him?
what did their leaving do to him?
after Iâd finished the book, I went back and re-read the little summary/hook/inside cover blurb for ăćç§ăïŒ and ended up spending way more time thinking about it than Iâd expected to:
Yan Wushi was someone who had lived to today by walking across mountains of corpses and oceans of blood.
He did not believe in the inherent goodness of human nature, nor did he believe that there could truly be a person who lived by great benevolence or righteousness, who would care for others with no expectation of reward.
One day, Shen Qiaoâthe sect leader of Xuandu Mountain, the greatest Daoist sect in the worldâdueled an opponent, but for some unknown reason, fell from the peak. Yan Wushi just happened to be passing by below.
Seeing the heavily-injured Shen Qiao near death, he suddenly had an extremely clever, exceedingly ironic ideaâŠ
After all, who could remain uncorrupted after a thousand autumns?
first of all, I was struck that this passage is written from Yan Wushiâs point of view.
let that sink in for a bit. narration in this novel veers into omniscient on occasion, but for the most part we are firmly anchored with Shen Qiaoâs perspective, following his journey and experiences, his emotions and struggles. we donât get a ton of Yan Wushi interiority (the story of the stone is a notable exception), and I remember reading the one of the extras from Yan Wushiâs point of view (set shortly after The Betrayal) and being rather disoriented at his starkly different perspective, the shift of voice and narration
in a sense, this inside-cover blurb before we even get to the story proper is Yan Wushiâs backstory, the essence of his character and experiences that led him to the beginning of the book. Meng Xishi may not have written out his tragic backstory in graphic detail, but she gave us the essence and characterization of Yan Wushi before she gave us anything else
(this story may be about Shen Qiao, but it starts with Yan Wushi)
secondly, I kept thinking about the the first two lines, specifically because Meng Xishi could have left the first line out.
she could have started this blurb with âYan Wushi did not believe in the inherent goodness of human natureâ and the rest of the passage would have flowed just fine--everything about Yan Wushi wanting to mess with a fallen Shen Qiao, everything about the themes of purity/corruption, the title drop of âa thousand autumns.â she could have left it at that, gotten the crux of Yan Wushiâs character across just fine, but no--she adds the line before that:
Yan Wushi was someone who had lived to today by walking across mountains of corpses and oceans of blood.
which then, of course, implies causality. why doesnât Yan Wushi believe in the inherent goodness of human nature? because he has walked across mountains of corpses and oceans of blood.
the prevailing rumor in the jianghu is that Yan Wushi, before he renamed himself the masterless (haughty, arrogant, overbearing), held the surname Xie. and who were the Xies? one of the greatest families of the time (this is actually a historical reference: the è°ą Xie family was one of the Four Great Families during the Eastern Jin period)
Yan Wushi was someone who had lived to today by walking across mountains of corpses and oceans of blood.
whose corpses? whose blood? where is Xie Lingâs family, and where does all of Huanyue Zongâs money come from?
who is Xie Ling?
Yan Wushi is single-mindedly obsessed with achievement, with attaining ever greater heights in his cultivation. he has no need for friends; the only people who deserve to speak to him on his level are rivals, are opponents, are people who can challenge him, maybe even defeat him
which is to say--Yan Wushi does not care for the inherent goodness of human nature, or the merit of benevolence, because both have failed him. the only true law is might, the only true directive is selfish self-preservation. Yan Wushi continually tests and mocks Shen Qiao saying that that the only reason why Shen Qiao hasnât lost hope, hasnât given in to corruption yet, is simply because Shen Qiao has not yet come face-to-face with the level of suffering that would shatter his faith in morality, his belief in goodness, and Shen Qiao reluctantly concedes, because he did grow up and come of age in a rather sheltered environment, and perhaps, maybe, somewhere out there in the world is a force great enough to torment him into evil. Shen Qiao doesnât know, and he canât know until it happens. itâs not an argument he can win through logic or experience, and both Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi know that
who doesnât want to be a good person? who doesnât want to be righteous and admired, venerated and exalted?
what makes you believe in the inherent goodness of humanity, and what makes you lose faith? what kind of experience, what sights and horrors and sorrows and agonies lead you to the only conclusion that all goodness and morality are nothing more than empty words in the face of the need to survive?
Yan Wushi is single-mindedly obsessed with greater martial achievement--for pursuit of the martial way and actualization, sure, I think thatâs what it becomes, but I donât think thatâs where it began. the simplest, saddest answer to that desire to become stronger, mightier, more powerful, is painfully, poignantly obvious--so no one else can hurt him
why doesnât he need friends? because the only person who can stab you in the back is someone you trusted. why is he so dismissive of his disciples, harsh in his criticism and uncaring in his manner despite their resounding capability and inherent talent? because coddling Yu Shengyan and Bian Yanmei will do them no favors--only greater achievement, the amassing of power, resources, influence, skill can truly guarantee their survival and success
and then thereâs Shen Qiao
when Shen Qiao comes back for Yan Wushi and saves his sorry corpse, Yan Wushi acknowledges that he had been wrong about Shen Qiao (about Shen Qiao specifically, not necessarily about human nature entirely) with surprising grace. admittedly, there are quite a lot of confounding factors (head injury, split personalities, hijinks and adventures in a deserted ghost city, further assassination attempts, etc etc), but once Shen Qiao defeats Yan Wushiâs ultimate test, Yan Wushi comes around surprisingly quickly, considering that Shen Qiao is a living, breathing, walking refutation of the laws Yan Wushi has lived his life by, built a bloodied reputation on. but Yan Wushi doesnât go about re-shaping his understanding of the world or human nature; he simply opens a gap in those laws, large enough to fit Shen Qiao. Shen Qiao, to him, is the exception that proves the rule, and Shen Qiao, for that reason, is all the more precious
for decades, Yan Wushi didnât believe that mythical creature, that legendary figure, that genuinely, purely good person who lived by great benevolence, who cared for others with no expectation of reward, truly existed, or even if they did, they died swiftly, foolishly, tragically, young
and here is Shen Qiao, doggedly hanging on to both his life and his silly, silly morals
of course Yan Wushi falls. of course Yan Wushi falls hard, chases, pursues, cherishes, protects. he hasnât seen such light in years. heâs almost forgotten what itâs like to be warm, and here Shen Qiao comes, lit from inside with a flame that even Yan Wushi cannot douse
and so--who is Xie Ling, to Yan Wushi? someone young, and weak still; someone foolish enough to do things like trust a young man with a pretty face, needy enough to cling to a complete stranger who had shown him kindness, someone soft enough to go back for Shen Qiao when Yan Wushi himself has made it out of danger just fine. Xie Ling is who Yan Wushi had been, before heâd bettered himself, made himself stronger, more invulnerable to the injustices and assaults this world hurls at him
and Shen Qiao has the audacity to care about Xie Ling, even knowing that Xie Ling is a transient ghost, a wisp of a soul, a shadow of a self not long for this world? Shen Qiao has the absolute goddamn gall to mourn who Yan Wushi had been?
Yan Wushi is jealous, absolutely; resentful, even; and more than anything, I think, he is furiously, desperately angry, because here is Shen Qiao, thirty years too late, crying over a boy that Yan Wushi had buried with his own hands, with his old name
all of which is to say--Meng Xishi does a devastatingly masterful job of giving us just enough hints about Yan Wushiâs backstory to know what matters (trust and betrayal, kindness and pain), and how perfectly Shen Qiao upsets everything in Yan Wushiâs world with the force of his own pain and power, brokenness and brilliance
