𖤓 ｓｐａｃｅ⠀ｇｉｒｌ ⏾
pairing: sean "dud" dudley [Lodge 49] x afab!reader word count: 12.3 k ...oops warnings: light smut tags: fluff, slight hurt/comfort; friends to lovers, former high school friends, mutual pining, unrevealed feelings, alchemical allegories, kissing, a little making out, lodge 49 references, dud being just very dud synopsis: You have returned to your hometown of Long Beach, California. At the donut shop you run into Dud, your former best friend you haven't seen in five years. And he can't wait to reconnect and tell you all about what he learned about alchemy and the universe. inspired by: space girl by frances forever
notes: i guess I'm finally doing this, oh boi. First of all, I want to apologize for the mess of tags, I have barely ever done this before and I have no idea what should be in there x.x secondly, Y'all, the Wyatt fever hit me hard and I have been so obsessed with Dud and Lodge 49. I hope anyone who has seen it will like this, and if you haven't...why not? Do it! Its great! I swear! Here, have a treat: Lodge 49 [Season 1] p.s. : I'm sorry I took your song lesbians, I swear I will put it back when I am done using it uwu
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀gif credit - @eveningstqr
It was strange. Standing in front of the Donut shop you grew up around, and not quite recognizing it, and still finding a familiarity in it… You sighed softly. Who were you kidding, it looked the same ever since the day you had left it just about…God, had it been five years already? You reached out and opened the door. A small bell announced your arrival. The place was empty, apart from the two men playing a game of chess. You wondered if they ever finished it, because they had been here playing chess for as long as you could remember. Maybe they are trapped in an endless loop, always playing…
The thought made you uncomfortable for a long moment and you tried to shake it off.
You walked up to the counter, looking up at the menu. Almost six years and it was still the same. Not that donuts needed much of a change in their layout; the same few things were being bought and would be bought for years to come. So you knew exactly what you wanted.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Y/N?”
Turning your head, you found a familiar face looking at you like you were some kind of ghost. To be fair, you supposed you were a kind of ghost of summer's past to Alice. You smiled at the young woman.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Hey Alice…”
She looked at you, and her face was a strange mixture of many emotions.Then she walked around the counter, and for a moment you contemplated running away, because you were unsure if she came over to greet you with a hug, or was here to punch you. Luckily for you, she went for the first option rather than the second.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Oh my god, it’s been forever!” She said into your shoulder as her slender arms wrapped themselves around your physique.
You hugged her back, giving her a good squish. She was exactly how you remembered her, just maybe a bit more grown. But the look in her eyes was still the same; somewhere between displeased and utter delight. You felt bad for not saying goodbye to her properly when you had left.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Come on Al, five years is not forever,” There was a chuckle as you gently let go of her, a soft look in your eyes. You wished you were better at hiding how you felt, but Alice could read the guilt in your face like a book.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Sit down, I’ll get you some coffee.”
You sat with her for a while, just talking about everything you had missed in the last five years. A lot of crazy shit had happened around town, not that you would have known even if you had stayed around. You weren’t the kind of person to go looking for gossip, but Alice had enough of that to go around. The most interesting thing to you was more of a sad story, however.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Man…I’ll miss Mr. Dudley,” you sighed, leaning back and playing with the cup of coffee she had handed you. You had been good friends with the Dudleys; you went to school with Sean, also known as Dud. In fact, he had been one of your best friends back then, even if your parents hadn’t been too approving of you hanging out with him. Part of you had done it out of spite at some point, but you had genuinely liked Dud and Liz, his sister. The twins had always made things interesting.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah, us too…he was probably killed by a shark,” Alice said, nodding and leaning back as well. “And just about a month ago a shark attacked Dud, isn’t that crazy?”
You almost spit out your coffee. You couldn’t believe what you just heard.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“A shark attacked Dud?! Is he okay?!”
⠀⠀⠀⠀“What, Dud? Pff, of course he is. You know Dud, that guy is unkillable.”
Alice looked back at you, and you just knew your face spoke more than a thousand words. It had always been your ongoing joke during your high school that Dud was some kind of immortal being, because he kept getting himself into accidents all the time, but whatever it was, he would always walk it off. But a shark attack was much different than rolling over his ankle in the sand and needing to cool it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“He’s fine, don’t worry about it. He comes in pretty regularly, like he always does.”
Something in you shifted at that sentence. It wasn’t that big of a statement. Dud was pretty set in his ways, always had been. But something about seeing him again made your heart flutter, even after all this time. He had been your best buddy, after all, and friendship ties went deeper than any blood relations you had.
Alice noticed the change in your face, and there was a small grin on her lips.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“He hasn’t come in today, so if you wanna wait…”
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yes.”
You didn’t have to think about the answer twice. You didn’t care how long you would need to wait. But you wanted to see him. NEEDED to see him again.
The answer came so quickly, Alice was almost taken aback, but she had known the moment you walked in that you wanted to ask about Dud. She had been friends with the both of you, though for different reasons. Dud had been her surfing buddy and you had been her movie girly. Of course, you joined the two on the beach every so often, just to chill and watch them. Dud tried to get you onto a surf board once, but you fell down and the board hit your head in the water. And that had been the end of your surfing career. You loved the water, the ocean; always had. Except you weren’t a great swimmer or surfer or anything of the sort; just really loved to be in the water. It was a trait you shared with the two of them, even if you were different in many other aspects. And Alice could respect that. Besides, she was glad that not all of her friends were surfers. Meant she got to see some different things once in a while. And you were just nice to vibe with.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Right, but if you wanna wait, you gotta buy more than just a coffee…which you didn’t even pay for,” she said, getting back up from her seat, hand gesturing towards the mug in front of you, which made you throw up your arms in defeat.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You said that one’s on you, Al!” You protested, but she just gave you this small shit-eating smile.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I did say that, but you gotta help a girl out, come on.”
With a deep sigh you reached into your pocket and pulled out a crumpled twenty-dollar bill, which you held out for her to grab.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Guess that should cover me for like an afternoon?”
Raising your eyebrows, you looked at her, and she looked back at you for a long moment. Then she scoffed gently and had to smile, dropping her head lightly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Y/N you gotta stop falling for that shit,” he said, chuckling, and you just laid your head back in defeat, hand dropping onto the bench. Alice had always told you that you were too easily cajoled into things by others, especially into giving up money. It really was a problem… and you kept doing it anyway.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Gimme five and I’ll handle the rest.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Well, I only got twenty, so take it or leave it.”
You looked up at her, eyebrows raised, holding the money back up for her to grab. The look in her face spoke of a slight disapproval, but then she reached out and grabbed it, anyway. You leaned back, happy with yourself that, at least this time, you had been victorious.
You must have nodded off for a bit, gotten lost in thoughts of summers past, spent at the beach with your friends. The bad surfing attempts, the fights in the water that left your eyes grainy and a bit irritated. The nights watching the sunsets, listening to music…
Head rested into the palm of your hand, you sat by the table, daydreaming, wishing you could go back there in this moment, right away. Back to when you had been just happy and not as burdened with the knowledge of the world as you were now. The bell sounded faint, like it was far away. You were inclined to ignore it, because you had been hearing it all day. The voice following it however…
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Hey Alice!”
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Hey Dud, what’s up?”
You raised your head. There he was. Dirty blonde hair, those ocean blue eyes that seemed almost impossibly saturated. He had a beard now, you noticed. It looked good on him. His shirt looked like it had been through way too many washes, it had lost most of its color. He was walking on crutches. Right, shark bite.
Slowly you rose from your seat while Alice was currently pouring out a coffee for him.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Dud…?”
You asked, stopping a few feet away from him. Suddenly you were scared. What if he didn’t want to see you anymore? What if he didn’t remember you…?
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah?”
He turned towards you, a smile on his face like he always had. He looked at you and for a moment he furrowed his brows, the gears in his head turning. He had recognized the voice, but the face didn’t come back to him right away. But it was so familiar. Then there is this spark in his eyes, the recognition. He did remember you.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Holy shit.”
He made his way over to you faster than you could have anticipated and wrapped his arms around you in a clumsy hug, one of the crutches dropping onto the floor. He leaned into you, giving you a tight squeeze, and for a moment you felt like you couldn’t breathe. But that wasn’t too bad. You’d let him hug you to death. Gently you wrapped your arms around his waist, hands on his back, as you just stood there, holding him. And it only now occurred to you how much you had missed him.
The two of you just stood there for a short while, just intertwined in one another. Part of you wished you could stay like this, but you knew you would need to pull away eventually. Besides, he was probably getting uncomfortable with his hurt leg.
So, you gently took a step back, looking up at him. He was about a head taller than you, which made for great hugs, but he was always talking down to you. His ocean eyes found yours immediately and he had to constrain himself to not hug you again right away.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You’re back!”
He was beaming, his entire face just lit up like its own little sun. You had missed it. This sunshine in your life. No one you knew ever came close to matching his energy. There was just something about Dud, something truly unique.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah, I- I guess I am back.”
Your voice was softer than his, but there was a smile on your face too.
He gave you a look up and down. You had changed far more than he had, though that was probably inevitable considering how long and far you had been away. He knew you went to study in Europe, living with your grandparents there, but not much more. He had a bit of a habit to not keeping in touch with people. He felt quite bad about it. He had never asked about how you were and now it was five years later. Shit.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You wanna sit down, I’ll get you a coffee.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀“No, it’s fine, Dud. I’ll cover yours and whatever you wanna eat. My treat.”
In the corner of your eye, you were aware that Alice was giving you the look again, but you opted to ignore her instead. You had given her twenty bucks, that should cover a donut and a coffee for Dud plus the several other mugs of coffee you had been drinking. If not, you were sure Al still had a tab for Dud. She could always put it on there.
Dud, on the other hand, was very happy that you had him covered. It wasn’t exactly a secret that he was chronically short on money, and he also knew that you were much too quick to cover for him, even if you struggled. Part of him felt kinda guilty about that, but he tried to push that part away. If you had it covered, you would manage, you always did.
He leaned the crutches against the side of the seat as he slid into the booth across from you.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“So how was Europe? Was it wet and rainy? Many people with funny accents?”
He was so excited asking that and you didn’t have the heart to tell him that it probably wasn’t as exciting as he imagined. You could make a sure-fire guess though, that you were the only one out of the high school gang that ever left the states, so maybe this would become your personality. For just a little bit, at least.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I mean it rained more than here, but LA isn’t really known for its big rainstorms, so…yeah.”
It took you a bit to get into talking, and while you were, he was listening to every single word, eagerly soaking up every single bit of information you could give him. Not because he was so desperate to hear about Europe, he didn’t really care about it actually. He wondered how you had been, what you had done. If you had been happy…
There was a little tug at his heart when he contemplated the thought. Of course, he wanted you to be happy and he was glad that you were, but a little voice in the back of his head was mad. Mad that you were that happy without him. Could he blame you for not reaching out? No, not really. High school was five years away now and five years was a long time, especially for him. To be fair, most of the stuff that had happened to him happened in the last one and a half years. And you would want to hear about it, and some he would be very eager to recount. Not everything, but he wanted to tell you about the Lodge, about what he and Blaze had been doing.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You wanna get ice cream and get out of here?”
His question was sudden, but not unappreciated. The two of you often talked together during a walk and a soft-serve. You had stopped mid-sentence, but you didn’t mind the interruption. Instead, your smile turned into a grin.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Sure.”
You didn’t consider that you would need to carry the ice cream for him, even if you had subconsciously known that he couldn’t hold it with the crutches. So, it looked a little funny as the two of you walked along the sidewalk, him on the crutches, you next to him holding two cones with soft-serve ice cream you had gotten from the Donut shop. Yours was plain vanilla, he had gotten strawberry. Mr. Ba, Alice’s dad, wasn’t too keen on paying for any stock that wasn’t used, so there wasn’t a variety of flavours, but you didn’t really care. If you had wanted good ice cream you wouldn’t have gone there. It wasn’t really the place for it.
Dud had been talking the whole way, leaning over ever so often, so you could bring the cone up to his mouth and he could take a mouthful of the ice cream. It was a bit ridiculous, there was the option to just sit down, but neither of you suggested it. Silly was your guys’ favourite thing to do together; it always had been.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Anyway, yeah and then I got attacked by a shark and the shark bite healed the snake bite. And now I just have to wait for that to heal and then I’ll be as good as new.”
He looked at you with this kind of crooked smile. He was always such an optimistic person.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“So you’re like a knight now?” – “Heh, uh, no, actually. I’m still a squire.”
He smiled as he said it, but you immediately know that there is something behind that smile, something more he doesn’t want to talk about. Even after all this time, you could read him like a book. But you didn’t want to push too far just yet, so instead of digging, you leave him be.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Squire, right, so you’re a boy servant.”
Dud chuckled. You were the kinda person to call him a boy servant out in public. The only other person he could imagine doing that was his sister. And maybe Alice. And her dad…actually never mind.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Uh, no, not really, uhm, it’s more like a student-mentor kind of relationship. My mentor, Ernie, he teaches me about the walks of life and then there’s Blaise, our alchemist, and Blaise teaches me alchemy.”
You gave him this kind of scrunched up confused look. You had been into alchemy and astronomy and astrology when you were in high school; you had found it cool and kind of witchy. You also enjoyed the aesthetics of it; you had to be honest. But you had never met anyone who actually believed in all of this. But from the way Dud was talking about it, he sounded pretty serious. And that got you a bit worried.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“And he actually thinks he can make like gold or stuff?”
Your eyebrows were about to hit your hairline when you inquired to know more, and it was a big giveaway to him, that you kind of didn’t actually believe him.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“No no, I mean, yes, kinda, but he always says that you gotta see it as a metaphor, right? Alchemy is like layers upon layers of secrets and codes…and in the end, right there at the end there’s gonna be something.”
He tried his best to explain it, but he wasn’t sure if he was getting his point across. He knew he wasn’t the best with words, but he tried. He always tried. Just hoping it would be a good try. And when he looked at your face, the way it slightly relaxed after a moment of scrunched up confusion, he knew he had gotten across his thoughts. You just understood him.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Ah, I see…”
You gave a slow nod, still trying to process the information. Dud getting into alchemy had not been on your bingo card for this year, but hey, you would take any interesting shit you got. Besides, it made you a little excited. You had grown out of your witch-medium phase pretty fast, but you looked back upon it fondly. Mostly because you still had all the things you bought. Mainly because you thought they looked pretty nice. But if he was just getting into it, maybe you could finally have the nerdy talks about it you had always wanted to have with someone close to you! Well, you actually didn’t remember too much and most of your knowledge had come from some YouTube videos, who discussed Alchemy in relation to Pokémon, BUT it was still a qualification! And Dud would probably be happy to fill in the details.
You stopped at a bench and nodded towards it, before sitting down. His cone was emptied out to a point where he would need to eat it to get to more ice cream and yours was dripping all over your hand, because you barely got to eat it, too fascinated with everything he had been telling you. It had been quite the year for him; you had to admit that. Of bad things, very bad things, and a few good ones.
You turned your head and looked at him from the side. The way the sun caught his hair made it look like literal gold. You had always been jealous of that effect, as your own hair didn’t look half as majestic in the sun. It was like he had been genetically engineered to look good on the beach. Maybe being a surfer had been his calling even before he was born. Though now after everything he had told you, you weren’t exactly sure anymore. Maybe there was some kind of higher calling for him. Be it knight or alchemist…you could see him in both. Knight might be the more obvious choice. But you were absolutely ready to be surprised by him again.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You know…if you like, I know you’re very busy, so only if you like, you can come over and take a look at my mom’s pool?”
He blinked slowly at you, his mouth currently full with an ice cone. He looked so dorky. You adored it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Sure, I’d love to!”
He quickly replied after removing the waffle from his mouth. He would never turn down an invite from you, even if it involved cleaning a pool. But he didn’t mind, he really did not. Especially not, after you added:
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I’ll fix us some dinner if you like…you could make your seven-layer dip.”
He grinned. And you knew you had yourself a deal.
It was a bit uncomfortable to get his entire equipment, the groceries, and him onto your scooter, but somehow the two of you managed to get to your place without causing a traffic accident. While you helped him to carry everything inside and started to frantically take care of the kitchen (the place was an absolute mess), Dud stood outside, net in his hands, while he slowly fished out the drifting leaves from atop the water. The pool wasn’t in a bad state, the little algae bloom that could be helped with a new filter and fishing out leaves really wasn’t a problem. He knew you didn’t invite him over to do this, because the pool was in need of maintenance. Or at least he hoped you didn’t.
He pushed the net down until it reached the bottom of the water and rested his hands on top of it. He remembered the summer nights around this pool. The barbequing your grandparents did; somehow it had always been your granddad doing it, never your dad. He didn’t know why, but he figured it was just different from family to family. He didn’t get to meet his grandfather after all. He remembered your younger brother pretending like he was way too cool instead of joining you in the water, diving for rings or fighting over the floaty. He had to smile to himself. He had always loved that stupid crocodile. He had been over here many, many times. And then you moved away. His entire life had changed, everything turned upside down. And yet here he was. Stronger. And maybe wiser.
He turned his head, watching you hurry about in the kitchen. When you left, you had barely been able to put together pasta without making a mess. And judging from the number of pans, you were still an effective agent of chaos. He tilted his head, resting the side of it resting against his hands on the net. You had grown up. He remembered you being a bit boyish when you left. Short hair, no dresses, not a single thought put into what you wore unless it was comfortable. Not that he had minded that, he had loved how uncomplicated you had been. And still were. But there was something about you that was just different now. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the way you moved and hurried about…it reminded him of a feeling he had before. Many many years ago, when you still were in high school. He couldn’t name it back then, but now…
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You want a beer, Dud?”
Your call ripped him from his thoughts before he could finish them.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah, sure!”
He replied, standing up straighter to pull the net out of the pool. He had gotten every leaf he had been aware of and the rest would take time. He might as well call it a day.
You came outside, holding a can of beer towards him. You weren’t sure what kind of beer he liked, so you just went out on a whim and got him one from the store. He had not seemed opposed to it when you had grabbed it, so you figured he would drink it. And Dud really wasn’t someone to be picky about alcohol. Not that he had planned on drinking himself unconscious while he was with you. That was reserved for nights when he couldn’t stand himself…or when he was at the tavern. Could be either.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Thanks, Y/n.” he smiled, cracking open the can and taking a sip.
You watched him, taking a sip of your apple cider. You weren’t one for beer, but a good cider went a long way for you most days. Seeing him beside your pool made you feel like it had just been last week that you hung out here while your parents grilled in the back. But you knew those times had long passed, and even if you wanted them back exactly like this, you couldn’t. At least not fully.
Without saying anything, you slipped out of your shoes and walked over to the edge of the pool. For a moment you contemplated that this was a bad idea, but then you sat down, allowing your feet to dangle into the water. Your eyes weren’t really focused on anything particular within the pool, but you stared into the water regardless.
There was a shuffling beside you as Dud joined, softly grunting as he sat down. The pain from his wounded leg was still there, but he was dealing with it. Sitting down still was a bit of an act though. You felt a little bad. You should have offered him help. And when you looked over to him, that’s what you wanted to tell him. But when your eyes met his, you realized that he was thinking the exact same and was absolutely ready to shut down any kind of words you could have said. He knew you. And you knew him.
So, you turned your head back towards the water, watching the reflections throw around the sunlight like a ball on a hot beach day. The soft rushing of small lapping waves, paired with the gentle later afternoon song of birds made the entire scene serene. You felt yourself relax.
Slowly laying back down onto the stones, cider can held on your stomach, you looked up into the vast blue sky. Not a single cloud up there to shield you from the harsh sunlight and you squinted your eyes together, before closing them.
Silence overcame the two of you. You were vaguely aware that Dud joined you in your silent meditation when his arm brushed past yours on his way to lay down. Then you just laid there, side by side. It was comfortable, despite the stony ground. Slowly, you turned your face to the side, opening your eyes just a little. His eyes were still closed and he was breathing slowly beside you. Your gaze wandered along his features. He had always been a handsome guy, even when you had been in school together. But now there was a certain maturity to him that made you look at him in a different way. Yes, you had been crushing on him back then. But it was sort of normal to crush on your best friend that way, it had happened to many people you had known, so you hadn’t thought much about it. But now you wondered if there actually would have been a chance. Maybe he would have taken you to homecoming instead of Beth. But you didn’t even ask…oh, yeah that’s right…you hadn’t been permitted to leave the house that evening.
You chuckled out loud, which prompted him to look over to you, blue eyes squinting lightly against the sun.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“What’s funny?” he asked, the gentle confusion back in his face.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Nothing…I just remembered why I didn’t go to senior homecoming with you guys…” you replied, and he blinked at you, trying to recall the memory.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah, right, you didn’t go…” he remembered, unsure what to do with this information. He had never asked you about why you didn’t come. He had just assumed you didn’t want to, as you weren’t terribly fond of events like that.
You turned your head to face straight up again, staring into the blue void of the LA sky for a long moment, before you spoke up again.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I had house arrest.”
He turned to face you, very confused. He had never imagined you out of all people, to get house arrest. You had never been a troublemaker in that kind of way, and he didn’t recall your parents being too strict with those rules either. So, this came as quite the surprising revelation.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“House arrest? What did you get house arrest for?” he asked, his voice somewhere between confusion and genuine curiosity.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I punched a guy.” You couldn’t hide the smile forming on your face as you recalled the scene in your mind.
Dud’s eyes meanwhile went wide.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You punched a guy? You?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah, is that so hard to believe?”
He looked at you and there is a lot going on in his mind right now. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do with this information. You really weren’t a violent person in most other walks of life, and even then, you had never truly hurt anyone else with anything but words. The thought of you punching a person was quite alien to him. He needed more context.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah, it is, actually.”
You gave a gentle sigh. Perhaps this would be the time to tell him that story. You kinda didn’t want to back then, because you had been worried he might take it too much to heart. But thinking back, perhaps that had just been your own worries rather than his own.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“There was this guy, not sure if you remember, Justin. He used to play football. And one afternoon, when I was hanging out by the field, I overheard him talking about some other guys in the class; including you.” You paused, your confidence wavering for a moment. But you continued anyway.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ “They weren’t really saying things that were too bad, but they called you stupid…and I really couldn’t stand how they talked about you. So, I went up to him and just…” You gestured, hand balled into a fist, indicating a punch. “Straight into his balls.”
Dud was staring at you from the side. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You had always had a habit of defending him, even while you were teenagers. But you punching someone over him was a whole new territory he wasn’t exactly sure how to deal with.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You hit him straight in the nuts?” He asked again, just to make sure he understood you correctly. You nodded.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Got straight in there, gave him a right hook. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy…I mean it was a bit crazy, kinda, but I just felt like I had to do something…anyway uh…”
You trailed off again, head turning to see his utterly bewildered face. You couldn’t exactly tell why this caught you so off-guard. Part of you knew, that it always had been kinda inside to just go ahead and do something like this. Maybe you had been just a bit too overprotective about him as a friend, you could see that in his reaction. But it really was just guessing at this point. Right in this moment, you couldn’t read what he was thinking, something you usually were very good at. Dud was bad at hiding his emotions, not that you minded. It made it easy to tell intent and guessing others emotions was not something you enjoyed doing. So not knowing what he was thinking was a little uncomfortable. Not scary, just…uncomfortable.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Damn Y/n.”
Was all he uttered after a long moment of silence between the two of you. There was no indication what he was trying to imply with his words. They were just words.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I’m sorry if that’s weird…I didn’t really think…” – “You’re fine.”
He looked at you and gave you one of his crooked smiles. Immediately you knew that he was serious about it. It really was fine. The knowledge only further increased your confusion. You were able to read him just fine when he said that, but looking at him just a few moments before proved to be a challenge? It was so strange.
You watched him as he turned his head back, looking down at the water of the pool, the gentle smile never leaving his face. There was a small part of him that wanted to make fun of you for being so stupid, but mainly he couldn’t get over the emotion of just being…kind of glad actually. He seldom had people defending him nowadays and to think that you had been ready to throw hands over him, even if that had been a couple of years ago…
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Is that why you ended up in detention too that one afternoon I wanted to go surfing with you?”
You were confused for a moment, then a small chuckle left your lips. Yes, you remembered. He had been nagging you all the time to go surf with him, and you had agreed to it, just so he would stop asking.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah. Now that you say it…I got the entire afternoon in detention…Mr. Lewis had to write an essay on why you shouldn’t react violently. I think he kind of agreed with me, but it was about principle.”
Apart from that, you had fond memories of your old English teacher. He had always been very passionate about his work, much to the dismay of some students, but you loved language, so it had never bothered you. You had loved it.
Dud nodded. He recalled your English teacher too, though much less fondly than you did. School had not been the best of times in his life. He had never been a good student; he had always relied on you for most of his homework and even then, you two had been bad in certain subjects. He sometimes wondered if he had been the reason you were bad in some things, because in his eyes, he had rarely ever met someone as smart as you apart from maybe Liz. He had been so proud when he learned that you had gone to Europe for your studies, even if he was just a little sad you had not managed to tell him goodbye properly. He had thought about that a lot. Would he have reacted differently before his trip to Nicaragua? Knowing he wouldn’t see you for a while? Maybe, but a while was different then a whole bunch of years. Maybe he shouldn’t break his head over it so much. Maybe you just forgot, that must have been it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Hey uh…this might be a little out of the blue, but could I crash at your place tonight?”
You turned your head towards him. He was looking at you again and giving you this signature look of his that made your heart melt in all the wrong ways. A lost puppy would have been a sore loser in a puppy eye competition against Dud.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I know, I know, we just met again, and this is all…”
He trailed off, not entirely sure what to label all this, his hand making a vague gesture in the air while he was looking for some kind of word to attach to this, but coming up with no fitting one. After a few moments, he just gave a deep sigh.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Me and Liz had an argument this morning and I kind of don’t want to bring this up with her again and I think she doesn’t really wanna see me, so…”
His eyes found yours and you cursed yourself internally for how pretty his eyes were. Bright and blue, like a mountain lake. Or like the water in a clean pool. You had to chuckle at the thought. The noise made his brow crease in concern. He had hoped you’d say yes, but with the random small outburst of laughter, he wasn’t entirely sure anymore if you would.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“So that’s a no…?”
He inquired after a few moments of you just chuckling beside him, not entirely sure if he should ask you to elaborate or not. But it made your head snap over towards him.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“What? No, no! I mean, yes, yes you can stay, jesus christ. If you wanna crash for a couple of days, I don’t mind. My mom’s out on vacation; we got the house to ourselves.”
His shoulders relaxed and a soft chuckle left his mouth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Thanks. Appreciate it.”
And he meant it, he really did.
Living with Dud was much simpler than you would have anticipated. Despite the fact that he had his pool equipment laying all over the hallway, mainly because most things just straight up refused to stay put. The first few nights you got spooked by the clattering sound of something falling over at 2 AM, when you were just about to nap away. It eventually calmed down, mainly because you asked Dud to just leave it be and lay the things onto the floor instead of propping them up. He didn’t seem to mind.
He put some genuine effort into living with you, trying to make food when you came, cleaning to the best of his capabilities (his leg was still a bit stiff and hurt from time to time) and genuinely being a caring presence around you. He just saw that you needed that. You worked at the supermarket every day, sometimes leaving early, sometimes leaving late, but coming home tired and worn out no matter when you had left. You didn’t mind your job; it was simple and it paid okay, but part of you knew that you wouldn’t be able to keep this up. You didn’t want to be stuck there for the rest of your life. You weren’t exactly sure what you would do instead, but this was not it. Not at all. Unfortunately, the decision was made for you faster than you had ever expected.
You came home from a morning shift that day. Dud had just finished making some lemonade for the two of you, eagerly anticipating your arrival to show you his work and tell you about the meeting in the lodge last night. It had been an incredible evening and Blaise had told him so many new things Dud couldn’t wait to share with you. He knew you had always had a knack for those things; he had lived through your witchy phase with you back then, in fact, he still had the crystal necklace you had gifted him. Somewhere. He had been searching for it frantically the last few days, and refused to even entertain the idea that he might have lost it, even just on accident. This was your thing, your necklace, a gift. He wouldn’t dare throw it away.
When he heard the door, he came limping up towards it, supporting himself on the wall, trying his best not to fall over his pool cleaning equipment, as he made his way towards the door, opening it before you even had the chance to get out your key.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Hi!”
He beamed at you, eyes big and blue, mouth wide in a happy smile, blonde hair all over the place, wearing one of his old, faded work shirts and a pair of mismatching shorts. He was all sunshine and rainbows. And you were the rain. His smile immediately faltered when he saw the tear streaks on your cheeks. For a moment he was confused why you would cry over him, but quickly realized it probably wasn’t him you were crying over.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“What’s wrong…?”
The question was so soft, so genuine, it pulled another sob from your throat. He was so sweet, but you were in no state of mind to explain yourself. Instead, you pushed past him into the hallway, his confused look of concern following you along the way, as you threw your bag into the corner.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“They fired me…fucking FIRED ME, because of FUCKING SELF-CHECKOUT!”
You yelled at him, but it wasn’t really yelling at him specifically, it was more yelling because he happened to be there and you needed to yell at something, somebody, anybody. Because at work you didn’t. You had been kind, said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ like you had always done, even to the manager, you had tried to be mature about this. But the truth was that you weren’t. You weren’t mature, you were hurting, deeply. Was there nothing you could do, right? Not even working at a god damn supermarket? People had told you that you were so smart and not even the simplest job seemed to be doable.
You slid down along the kitchen counter, hugging yourself, as you broke out into tears again. It was too much; all of this was too much. Dud stood next to you, eyes wide, mouth open as if to speak. He wanted to say something comforting, something helpful. But no words came out. Not a sound, nothing. He felt so useless. His best friend was hurting; YOU were hurting. And he was just standing there.
Slowly he allowed himself to slide down onto the floor beside you, trying to be as quiet as possible with his hurt leg protesting the movement, but he bit his tongue to not make any sounds indicating his pain. He knew if he did, you would immediately try and be there for him again. But he wanted to be there for you instead. Quietly, he wrapped his arm around your waist, gently forcing you against his chest. You didn’t mind. You curled into him, grabbing his shirt, sniffling and whimpering. You found yourself so pathetic in this moment. Dud didn’t think so. He was just worried.
He then sat with you, holding you as you emptied out your frustration and pain in tears against his shirt. You had no idea how long it took for you to calm down. He didn’t either. Eventually, you took a deep breath, the take in of air shaky still, when you raised your head to look at him. His eyes found yours and the look in them broke your heart. His face was full of gentle worry he didn’t know what to do with. He didn’t know what to say either, so he just looked at you helplessly, trying to think of something to say.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“When did they tell you…?”
He asked, and immediately regretted his question. Great work, Dud, asking her about the thing that’s making her cry, well done.
You sniffed, bringing up your hand to wipe some snot from your nose. You didn’t want to wipe it onto his shirt, but you got the feeling that it might already be a little late for that.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I’m being let go…due to less staff being required…apparently they did a random pull for who was being let go of…bunch of bullshit…”
You sniffed again, bringing up the back of your hand, to angrily rid yourself of any tear stains on your cheeks. You didn’t want to be whiny, you were a big girl and big girls didn’t cry, but…all of this was just so much bullshit…
Dud watched you, and there was an understanding in his expression that was seldomly mirrored by other people in your life. He understood what it felt like to lose your job. And while he knew that you weren’t nearly as passionate about your occupation as he was with his, the general feeling must’ve been quite similar. There was a loss of purpose, no matter your enjoyment of your work. Getting up every day and going to a place just did that to a person.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I’m sure you’ll find something new quickly.” He was very careful in his choice of tone, very gentle.
He wanted to make you feel better. You were so smart, you always had been, much unlike him. And he didn’t mind that. He was just mad at the world around you for not recognizing your abilities. Part of him had almost been a bit upset when he learned you worked at a supermarket. You were meant for greatness, he just knew.
But you didn’t see it that way. His words made you shake your head, a frustrated growl leaving your throat. You were not mad at him, but at yourself.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Pff, maybe. But it’ll be just the same. Another boring job, just to get my time around…”
You pressed your lips together, trying to stop them from shaking as you turned your head to look at him again. His sun golden hair, gentle lake blue eyes and very subtle freckles along the bridge and side of his nose. He always looked so innocently sweet, like there was not a lot going on in this sun kissed head of his. And yet he radiated from the inside out; warmth and comfort. He didn’t see things as complicated as you did. And that was what you appreciated about him. And he always was so sweet. You didn’t want to load your worries onto him. But you couldn’t help yourself. It all just…spilled suddenly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I hate this, Dud…all of it. I hate living with my mom, I hate this stupid job that makes me nothing but miserable. I am so tired, all the time, I never knew I could be this tired. I come home to nothing, I leave home for nothing, I have barely any friends, any social life, I am alone, I am miserable and I don’t know how to tell that to people, because I don’t want to burden them with my failings as a person…because they deserve better than to listen to me complain about my luxury problems…”
You took a deep breath, your gaze dropping towards the floor. Suddenly looking at him seemed entirely too much.
His eyes rested on you. There was no disdain in them, far from it. There was just understanding. He understood. None of what you had said sounded silly to him. He had never gone through this exactly, but he could relate. He had been basically homeless for a long while, doing anything that could give him money, no matter how stupid. You telling him this didn’t exactly come as a surprise to him, but he knew voicing those things was more difficult than anything.
Slowly his hand came up, and he reached over, careful fingers brushing your hair behind your ear so he could see your face. The touch left a soft layer of goosebumps on your cheek, a gentle tingle running over your skin. And for a moment, you were taken aback.
Of course, you and Dud touched each other all the time, mostly fist bumps, high-fives and general roughhousing between friends were very common for you. You weren’t shy in seeking contact with him. And yet this felt different. More delicate in a way. Almost fragile.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Your problems are not a burden to me…”
His voice was quiet, unusual for him. He was usually a loud one. So, this sudden change made you almost a bit uneasy. It was new in a way; a way that you couldn’t explain with the familiarity of knowing him.
You turned your head and looked at him again. His eyes kept yours captivated. Part of you was looking for a lie in those baby blue depths, even if you knew he would never lie to you; not willingly at least. He would never dare to put untruths into your mind. Or into his mouth. They felt spikey and uncomfortable on his tongue if he said them to you.
He was silent once more, eyes still on yours, as he leaned over and once more pulled you into a hug. Less of a squeeze, you could slip out of his arms if you wanted, but you quickly decided that you wouldn’t. You didn’t want to push away such a sweet and caring offer, when he gave it so freely.
Curled up against his chest, carefully putting your weight onto his healthy leg, you allowed him to hold you. His fingers ran along your upper arm, a gentle drag against your skin; his finger tips were rough from working all day in the sun. He smelt vaguely of sweat and deodorant, summer heat and beach. You didn’t care that heat was technically not a smell; Dud smelt like it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You gotta rest, Y/n…”
His voice was very gentle. He had entered full caregiver mode now, and he had to be honest, he enjoyed it a bunch. Taking care of you for a change; not the other way around. And you looked so tired. He knew you were just waiting for permission to lay down and rest. A process he was very eager in helping with. You needed to sleep so desperately; he just knew.
The weak nod of your response was only underlining his statement. You didn’t want to argue over it, he was right.
Wordlessly, you got to your feet, Dud following closely behind you, taking your outreached hand only once he was steady on his own, refusing any help you might have offered him. Instead, he just held your hand, carefully taking you to your room. He was careful in his walking; he didn’t want to put too much pressure onto his hurt leg. But he also didn’t want to rely on you right now. He was the caretaker now.
Inside, he gently pressed you down to sit on your bed, then turned to your closet, opening it. His eyes wandered over the clothes and he picked a pair of shorts and a shirt that looked much too big for you. He wanted you to be comfortable.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Here…put these on.”
There was a gentle command in his words, but not in a dominating kind of way. It was more of an offer. An offer you were very eager to accept. Someone to take care of you was just what you needed. Someone else who knew what was going on for once.
You took the clothes out of his hands, placing them next to you on the bed, while Dud turned back to you. There was a short moment, where he didn’t seem sure what to do, then gently held out his hand. Your fingers found his and he gave your hand a soft squeeze as he held it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Don’t worry…I’ll take care of everything. You go have a nap.”
He gave you one of his lopsided smiles. You didn’t want him to leave. But you couldn’t say it. So, you just nodded instead.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I’ll fix us some food later for dinner.” He promised, and you knew he would.
Then, he let go of your hand and hobbled out of your room to give you the space and quiet you would need to sleep. And as much as you’d like him to be about, you knew he was right. You just needed to shut your eyes for a bit.
With a heavy sigh, you kicked off your working clothes, just dropping them to the floor; you wouldn’t need them anytime soon anyway. You took off your bra, then flopped onto the bed without putting on the clothes so kindly provided for you. Your mind was with all this mess of a life in front of you and also with him, his gentle comfort and care. You wished it could be like this all the time. It was the last thing you thought about before you fell asleep right on the spot.
It was already somewhat dark when you woke back up. You had no idea how long you had slept, but judging from the deep color of the sunlight outside your window, it must have been at least ten by this point. You blinked sheepishly into the orange light of the evening, every part of your body feeling heavy and unliftable. There was a part of you that wanted to curl yourself together into a ball and never leave your bed again. And then there was the other, the louder part of the two; the one that desperately wanted to see Dud.
Slowly you pushed yourself out of your bed, lazily putting on the clothes that had been laid out for you a few hours prior; eyes still small when you opened the door towards the hallway. With the last light of the sun vanishing behind the horizon, you contemplated turning on the light, but decided against it. Your eyes were good enough still.
Making your way into the kitchen, you found your friend sitting on the couch, watching some kind of cooking competition on TV. Though his head snapped back towards you as soon as you entered the room. It was almost like he had waited for you to come in.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Slept well?”
His smile was as cheeky as always, but with a certain gentleness behind it. It made you smile as well. A tired smile, but a smile.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Why didn’t you wake me up?” you asked, while you made your way into the kitchen, looking for something to drink.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb you,” he replied, having fully turned; his arms rested on the back of the couch and his head was placed on top of those as he watched you wander about. You were cute when you were so sleepy.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I made some pasta earlier. I put the rest in the fridge.”
You immediately turned to your right to check the fridge, pulling out a bowl full of pasta and something akin to tomato sauce. Dud wasn’t the best cook, at least not in the pasta department, but he never forgot to make dinner for you; something you really appreciated.
After putting the bowl in the microwave and setting the time, you turned back to Dud, who was still looking at you from his place on the sofa. He held your gaze and there was a long moment of silence where you kind of just…looked at each other. He looked cute like this, you thought. You should get a closer look…
Your feet moved before you could think, and you found yourself facing him, knelt down behind the couch, head resting against the backrest as you looked at him. He looked a bit sleepy too; he had probably fallen asleep after dinner and just woken up a few minutes before you came in. He smiled at you.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Feelin’ better…?”
His voice was raspier than usual. Yup, definitely took a nap. In response, you gave him a soft nod. You weren’t really up for talking too much right now. Instead, you reached over and brushed a stray strand of beach blonde hair away from his face back into its original position. He scrunched up his nose lightly when you did, because it tickled a little. Jesus christ, why was he being so adorable…
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You wanna go into the pool after dinner? Like…together?”
He wasn’t exactly sure why he had proposed the idea, but he hoped it would be something you’d be up for. You always had so much fun messing in the pool and he really hoped it would manage to make you smile again. He hated to see you so sad.
You contemplated the idea for a moment. You had nothing against it in particular. You liked being in the water and having Dud around, he’d surely come up with a ridiculous game for you two to play. Or you could just vibe. With some music.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Sure…but nothing too crazy, yeah? Not after I just ate.” – “No crazy, I promise.”
He raised his hand, two fingers up, making a typical swearing hand. Then you leaned your head over the couch, looking at his other hand. Fingers crossed.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You little liar~” you chuckled, and he just gave you the widest grin, and a small shrug.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Okay, maaaybe a little bit crazy. Just a little. I promise.”
You smiled, then gently nudged his head with yours before you got back onto your feet, the beeping microwave letting you know that your dinner was finished.
You took your time with your food, so when you both got outside, it was completely dark; the sun completely vanished behind the horizon. Turning on the lights outside, you stood in the door for a moment watching Dud fidget with the plastic wrap around his thigh. The stitches weren’t allowed to get wet, so he had the most genius idea to wrap almost the whole box of plastic wrap around it to make it waterproof. Despite you not being entirely convinced by the effectiveness of the method, it definitely made for a fun sight.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You sure it’s gonna hold?” – “Yup! Absolutely!”
He looked up and over to you, his face full of confidence as he stood up straight again, giving himself a stretch and you the opportunity to get a view of his body. It was strange. You knew what he looked like, you had since he had been a scrawny teenager. But right in this moment, the way you looked at him… it was different. You noticed the faintest bit of heat rising to your cheeks as you cast your eyes down along his body. He had a bunch of moles which you were familiar with and a bit more hair on his chest then you remembered. You noted how the trail of hair faded away slightly going down from his chest, reappearing around his belly area, before vanishing into his shorts. For a short moment, your fingers twitched lightly, tempted to run your hand along his body. Then you caught yourself. No, this was strange.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You gonna come in or not?”
You hadn’t even noticed that he had slid into the pool, holding onto the edge as he looked back at you. Quickly you replied to him with a nod, pulling off your shirt, revealing a somewhat simple black bathing suit underneath it. It was closed at the top, with a light mesh in the area between your breasts and chest. Bikinis had never been your thing, but this bathing suit had caught your eye online, and you really liked the look on you. It was somewhat mismatched with the pair of bright red bathing shorts you wore, mainly because you didn’t like how it showed off your thighs.
Dud didn’t question your choice of apparel, even with a slight confusion written all over his face. He wasn’t used to you being so covered up all the time, but who was he to judge you. If that was how you felt comfortable, he wasn’t going to force you to not be.
Sliding into the pool beside him, you made a light noise of surprise as the coldness of the water hit your skin. Of course at night the pool would be colder, but you had not anticipated the sudden change. But you did what you always did when the water was cold; you just dunked yourself under without any remorse. The slower you went in, the more likely you were to run out again, you knew that. So straight in; no time for regrets.
Eyes closed, you stayed under the water. The noises from the outside dull and otherworldly, you could make out the noise of the water filter and the gentle hum in your ears, that made you feel like an astronaut drifting along through space in a spaceship. You enjoyed the cool of the water around you, as it grew more familiar against your skin. You had not used the pool a lot despite having been back for a couple of weeks, you realized. Not at all in fact. Besides hanging your feet into it a few times maybe. Part of you wished you could stay under, but your lungs were getting tighter and a soft burn started to grab a hold of them. Your sign to leave your little other world.
You came back up and took a deep breath of the warm night air, wiping the water from your eyes before opening them, lessening the burn of the chlorine water as you regained your focus. For a moment you weren’t sure where you were, realizing you must have turned as you couldn’t see Dud anywhere. Then two hands grabbed you on both sides of your waist.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Boo!”
You yelped out in surprise and just the slightest bit of fear, flipping yourself around where you were met with a big, self-serving grin of your best friend, who was currently very pleased with himself having given you such a fright.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Fuck, Dud!”
You looked at him with big eyes for a moment, before you broke out into a soft chuckle and a laugh soon after, struggling free from his grip.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You fucking suck!” you laughed, trying to grab his waist in turn.
He avoided your grabbing, pushing your hands away, his entire face beaming with playful energy. Unwilling to let him get the upper hand, you changed your strategy, splashing his face before trying to pull him under. He splashed back and quickly, the entire thing escalated into an all out splash war, while both of you tried to get the other under somehow. You swallowed a bunch of water just from laughing, and he couldn’t exactly say that it was different for him, but he welcomed it. It felt great to make you laugh and hear you being happy for a moment. After witnessing you so down earlier, it was what he wanted to see. And just what you needed right now.
Having grabbed each other, you moved about in the water and eventually, he gave in, allowing you to pull him under, just wanting to give you a win. However, with the both of you moving about, he had not calculated his position within the pool, and just as he pushed you back again, his head collided with the wall of the pool under water. He heard the faint noise of the collision, before the pain hit, as the water poured onto the broken skin, making it sting uncomfortably.
Above the water, you didn’t hear the noise, but you saw him go head first against the tiles. Immediately the happy expression was wiped from your face and you quickly dove down, wrapping your arms around his chest, your arms under his armpits, pulling back up above the water.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Dud? Dud, are you okay?!”
Panic spread through your voice as you watched him cough out a little bit of water, trying your best to leave enough pressure to push him up against the wall of the pool, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hold him up on your own, but anxious he might lose consciousness and go back under.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Hey, hey, come on, say something!”
You pulled back your hand, lightly tapping his cheek. His eyes were unfocused and he was a little out of it still. His head felt light and he could make the assumption that he had a light concussion, or something of the sort, which he didn’t really mind. He kind of enjoyed this airheaded feeling right now.
Slowly he turned his head, his gaze slowly shifting to focus on you again, using your hand as a support for his head, his bearded cheek gently pushing the weight of his entire head into your palm. And he looked at you. Really looked at you. And he didn’t have any words in his brain to describe how beautiful you were in this moment. And suddenly he had an epiphany. A realisation.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You are the moon…”
You furrowed your brow, confusion all over your face.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“What? Dud, that’s nonsense-“ – “No, no, listen to me…!”
His hands quickly rose to grab your face, holding your gaze fixed to his own.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“We talked about it. Blaise and I. The com..communi…the alchemical marriage! The sun and the moon! Sulphur and mercury! The reconciliation of opposites! I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, because alchemy is a bunch of…weird philosophical stuff and riddles, but now I know! I know why he said that! He meant us! This! You are the moon! I am the sun!”
You wanted to attribute all this to the fact that he just hit his head and the thought made you so worried he actually might have caused some real damage with that. But despite the light fogginess in his eyes, he seemed focused. His words were clear and even if they didn’t make sense on the surface, you knew enough about what he was talking about to try and attempt finding a meaning.
You looked at him and suddenly he noticed how the worry in your face was overtaken by a strange nervousness. He felt your skin grow warm under his fingers, but he was far too occupied with his own thoughts to pay any attention to it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“You are the face of the Moon! You are moonfaced!”
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Dud, I don’t think that means what you think it means-“
He shook his head adamantly, which left him even dizzier than he had been already, but he didn’t care. He needed you to understand.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“No no no, please, you don’t understand! You are the moon goddess! The liquid silver! The one that governs dreams and visions! You illuminate the darkness of night and void and everything unknown! You make the magic, you ARE the magic!”
Everything in Dud’s mind made sense now. All the puzzle pieces fell together, building a picture he had not seen before.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“It is fate, Y/n. Us meeting, us reconnecting, me staying here, you getting fired; it’s all fate! It was supposed to happen! I know that sounds weird, but it is! The moon waxes and wanes and sometimes her light dims, but she comes back! She always comes back! She helps us keep track of time, she gives us months and she gives us tides! She is strong…you are strong. And beautiful. And smart. And kind. You embody a goddess, you are a goddess, a moon goddess of feminine beauty and the power of the mind!”
You just stared at him, mouth slightly agape as you looked at him. Never in your life had you heard Dud say anything like this. And yes, on the surface it was all ridiculous, but deeper down…you felt it. He was right. In some way, all of this was right.
When his words faded, a silence came over the both of you. You had no idea how to respond to all of this. And Dud was just looking at you. Eyes big and blue and full of adoration. He wanted to do something stupid. Something so incredibly stupid. But if this all was fate…
Carefully he pulled your face closer to him, your free hand still on his cheek. Gently, he took your hand by the wrist, moving it down to the side of his neck, fingers still loosely wrapped around your lower arm. You were already pressed up against him, holding him up, the space between the two of you barely existent in the first place, but the closeness only seemed to really hit you now. How his body felt warm against yours, his breath fanning over your cheek, lightly cooling down the faint layer of water stuck to your skin.
Slowly you allowed your cheek to fall into the palm of his hand, allowing him to hold your head, like you had held his just mere moments before. He held your head in his hand. So effortlessly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“No one ever called me a goddess before…” you whispered.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“They should have…” he replied quietly, gently running his thumb over your cheek.
You weren’t sure if the burning sensation in your eyes came from the pool water or the tears starting to build up in them. They should have… He said that so simply. Like it was the most obvious thing to him. No second thoughts, no insults, no nothing. Just a fact. A statement.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Dud…”
His name faded into the night when words failed your tongue. What could you even say to him after this? There was nothing.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“It’s okay.” He hummed, lightly tipping his head forward and resting it against yours.
The silence returned, but it was comfortable now. The two of you somewhat entangled against the wall of the pool, just holding each other closer, gently bathing in each other’s light. Maybe he was right. Maybe you were the moon. And maybe he was the sun. Warm, bright, illuminating. Golden. Never gone, always there, even if clouds covered the skies. You should have seen it so much sooner. Yes, he was your sun. And yes, it was okay.
When your lips found his, he shuddered. Naturally, he had expected this to happen, but the thought and the actual action were two completely different things. Your mouth was soft and gentle, soothing almost. Somehow exactly what he imagined and the opposite of all his thoughts in the same vein.
He was slow to respond at first, almost scared he could break this sacred moment by going too far too quickly. But by the stars, he wanted to. You were his moon, his silver lady. He should have seen it so much sooner. All this searching, it brought him here. Back to the water. Back to you. And he wanted to show you. He wanted to give you everything he could; he wanted to shine for you.
He pulled you closer, his other arm wrapped around your waist now, lips gently parting every so often, tasking the soft warmth of your breath. His heart was beating so fast, he could swear it was heating up his blood like fire. He was burning from the inside out in the most amazing way possible; if he had ever doubted himself to be the sun, he wasn’t any longer.
His fingers found purchase on your ass without a second thought and you didn’t mind at all. Your hand drifted up into his hair, entangling it in the blonde strands, one of your legs hooking itself over his hip, pushing yourself flush against him.
He was noisy, you noticed. As if the soft noises of wet lips meeting wasn’t enough, he sighed and whined quietly against your mouth every time he took a breath. And you couldn’t wish for anything else. He was so gorgeous, beautiful, stunning…and incredibly hard.
Your eyes flung open at the sudden realization of the fact. You felt him. Through his shorts and yours against the inside of your thigh. You hadn’t been exactly sure where the throbbing sensation came from, but now that you knew it was his cock…
You blushed and pulled away, looking at him. The light whimper leaving his chest broke your heart, and the look in his eyes begged you to come back right this instant.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Dud…you’re…uhm…”
He blinked a few times, not entirely sure what you meant. He was…the sun? The radiance? The gold? He studied your face, which had taken on a noticeably darker color, now more akin to a tomato. You were blushing. But why? You had seemed okay just a moment ago- OH. Oh god. Oh jesus christ.
His eyes widened. Of course. The fire he had felt had not been just an imagination. He still felt it. On a point way below his chest. Oh shit.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“I…uhm…heh…I-I wanna say I’m sorry…but uhm…jeez…”
He stuttered about, not entirely sure how he was going to explain. Not that it wasn’t obvious what had occurred, but…now the moment had passed, he was in dire need of an explanation. But there was nothing he could say to defend himself. He was hard. Unimaginably hard from kissing you.
You watched him. Stumbling over his words, trying to explain it all and failing. Because in reality, there was nothing to explain. And you knew. And, in all honesty? You didn’t need him to.
Gently, your pointer finger placed itself over his stumbling mouth and he immediately went silent, looking up at you, absolutely paying attention. You gently shifted back, wrapping both legs around his waist this time, feeling his hard, throbbing length strain against the fabric of his shorts.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Dud…what do you call it when the moon moves in front of the sun…?”
He looked at you dumbfounded. Did you really just ask him a question? In the midst of all this?
⠀⠀⠀⠀“That’s…uh…lunar eclipse, right…?”
You nodded and a smile returned to his face. Sometimes he had listened in school. He was proud of himself. For a moment.
He did not realize how you moved your hips, but he felt the burning sensation of friction against his cock rising up into his belly, his brain short circuiting for a long moment. His chest drew breath, but instead of a deep breath out, a pitiful moan left his throat.
He tried to steady himself, trying to focus back onto you, almost flabbergasted at your sudden boldness. But when his eyes found yours again, he knew this was just the beginning. That this was more than just a sudden, fleeting moment. This was fate. He was the sun. You were the moon. And you were fated for the alchemical marriage.
⠀⠀⠀⠀“Let’s be one tonight…” – “What…?” – “A lunar eclipse...”
He didn’t get the chance to reply. Your mouth found his again, sucking the air from his lungs with a single, soft whine of your throat. And suddenly there was nothing he’d rather be tonight.
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