MarwadiShaadi

A unique portal that brings together all Marwadi's and offers exclusivity for Khandelwal, Agarwal, Maheshwari and Jain communities; Marwadi Shaadi is the perfect place to find your perfect match. For every single marwadi looking for a soul mate - Talaash aapki zimmedari hamari!

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7 IDEAS TO JAZZ UP YOUR WEDDING CAKE

You no longer have to settle for the simple, default wedding cake designs. You can now customize and personalize your wedding cakes by giving it a cultural touch.

Henna Design Cake

What better way to indianize a wedding cake than decorating it with henna inspired designs. It looks simple and classy. You can play with different colour combinations and customize it as per your taste.

Drape It

.Give the generic wedding cake a twist by draping the cake with an edible saree. You can match the edible draped saree with that of the bride's outfit and surprise her with a matching cake

Play With The Flavour

Get over the chocolate and vanilla flabours. Ask the baker to whip a completely unique cake for your wedding reflecting your favourite dessert through its flavour. My personal favourite is the gulab jamun cake (coz duh! it's gulab jamun.) Besides gulab jamun, there's rass malai cakes, mango rassmalai cake, rossgulla cake, etc.

Dholak Cake

This dholak cake looks unreal. I was amazed just like you ae when i set my eyes upon it. You can surprise the bride with a dholak or a shehnai cake on her mehendi day and make it extra special.

Saree Cake

I want this cake to be included in my wedding festivities. I shall pester anybody and everybody about this. Just look at it. It doesn't even look like a cake. It's so perfect symbolizing some important aspects for a bride in her wedding.

Doll Cake With A Twist

Doll cake was such a rage when i was a kid (10 years back or so) Everybody wanted one for their birthdays. Well, you can still have one bridal doll cake. You can also get a groom doll cake and arrange for a cute couple cake.

Customized Cake Topper

The above wedding cakes not your style? Trying to stick to simple designs? You can add your own touch to it by getting a customized cake topper.

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A WALK THROUGH YOUR SOUVENIRS

It was never the clutter of objects,

That we were meant to treasure.

I'm walking down a mushy path towards a building. Everything looks grey and cloudy. It seems like it has been raining for days and the rain has just taken a respite. Entering the building, i realize it is not a building at all but more like a house. I start walking up the stairs. Everything feels oddly familiar, but not quite. There are pictures on the walls. Pictures of young people, dogs, pictures of an old couple, pictures of me. I want to know more about the person who looks like me but doesn't feel like me.

I enter the musty room right in front of me. Everything looks moss bitten, like the people living here are not able to maintain it somehow. Or should i say were? Instinctively I open the sole wooden wadrobe to the right of the square window and reach for a fat leather bound book kept at the bottom. I purposefully take it downstairs and settle into this pink plush chair beside the window. The chair seems like a new addition to the old decor.

Opening the book, I see unfamiliar faces with my own and I wonder are they really familiar or is this some sort of deja vu or more like deja savoir. I see that the the same house seems new in the pictures. There's a well maintained garden. There are pictures of me gardening, there are dogs in the background, pictures of me baking, pictures of parties. I look content, so happy.

There's a picture of an mid-aged couple, the woman looks like me, it must be me, with another man. He looks famliar and then just a few secondsin, the moment is gone and the unfamiliarity sets in. He is in many pictures but I don't know who is he.

I shut the book and get out of the chair. There is a mirror on he wall and I get a glimpse of a reflection, an old, frail reflection. I was looking at myself and before that could sink in, I woke up. No, not with a thud, just woke up like that is all I was meant to see.

Yes, that was a dream. My day started with such occult feel to it (if that is even possible.) I started by reflecting upon the obvious questions, what was the point of the dream, why did I get such a dream, so on and so forth. But my mind later travelled to something more relevant- the scrap book of memories. I saw all the things that i would like to see in my future. There were pets, there was nature, the much needed isolation, there were friends, there was everything that I would ever want from life. But I wonder where did the city girl go? Or was that more of an old age abode?

Don't get me wrong, I do not consider my dream to be a message from the universe, or to be more than a mere dream. I'm just giving in to whirlwind of thoughts it raised in my feeble mind. I loved what I saw in those few seconds. I hope my memory book looks closer to the one I saw in the dream (however hazy it might seem.) It seemed like a pictorial documentation of my entire life with my favorite moments highlighted in my own way.

Would you invest your time and efforts in making a memory book? Would you like to step into the world of reminiscence by merely turning a page of a book? Do you ever wonder what would be the contents of it?

Or,

Would it all be a mere shout in the void?

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DON'T MOCK ME for you don't understand me...

“You know I was thinking of getting a tattoo.”

“Yeah? Get what though?”

“Ummm…it’s related to the Harry Potter series.”

“Harry Potter. Hmmm. But why? Don’t you think you should get something that means something to you? Something significant."

I was strangely taken aback. But what could I say? I couldn’t help but look like a recoiled hurt snake. Could I explain to him what hurt me? Could I explain to myself what hurt me? Was I merely hurt or were there strata to how I felt?

Could I explain to him that harry potter was an escape for me or is that the most generic answer people hear. Just the other day someone asked me why do you like fiction, and I told him how it was an escape for me. And all he did was smirk at me and say, “Please give me genuine answer which is yours and not just something you read somewhere and say that just because it sounds better than the real answers.”

How do these people judge you like that? And why do they even do that? Some say because they like to term themselves as the realists. Some say because they like to feel superior to you by hurling such questions at you and enjoy seeing you get bewildered. I think I disagree with these opinions. I don’t think it’s in their nature. I don’t think they have an ulterior motive behind saying this or doing this to you. I think they merely lack imagination.

People say there are so many stories already in this world. Why would you then need fiction? Well, fictional stories are only partly fictional. They reflect the authors’ plights, longings, affections, hopes, and so much more. It’s not about what they say but what they mean to say. You think harry potter was merely a series about an orphan with abilities to save the world? No. Hell no. It was so much more than what meets your eye. It’s about love which comes in so many forms, shapes and sizes, it’s about friendship, it’s about what you believe in can be realized.

To me, it was all the above and much more. It taught me how being alone was different from being lonely, how loneliness was just a state of mind, it taught me how I could find friends in the most unlike places, it gave me my first true love- books. How was I to explain to my friend that it might merely be a children’s novel for you, but, it completed me in the most unlikely ways that he could imagine.

What was the tattoo you ask?

LUMOS- for I am my own light.

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Challenges of a Summer Bride

SUMMER=HEAT.

Summer can easily be stamped as the most unforgiving season in India. Getting married in this season is enough to add a dozen of stress lines to your forehead. I won't say "don't worry" or "I've got you", but, all I'll say is incorporate a few of the below mentioned tips in your wedding 'To-do list' and wipe at least half of tose lines off your forehead.

Light Ensembles

Pastel colours have been a rage for some time now. Use that to your advantage. Opt for cool, pastel colours and light outfits to ward off the extra tiredness that comes with a heavy ensemble.

Cooling Face Packs

Summer is really harsh on the skin. If you are a summer bride, make sure you take good care of your skin by applying hydrating face masks at regular intervals, say weekly or fortnightly, prior to your big day. Try to stick to home-made face packs made out of cucumber, aloe vera gel, mint, etc.

Say NO to New Beauty Treatments

Trying a new beauty treatment during this time is a complete NO. The simple reason being it takes quite some time for our skin to go back to it's normal state, if anything goes wrong. You may incorporate hydrating treatments or fruit based skin treatments, but do not make any radical changes to your skin care regime if you're not sure about the outcome.

Makeup

Every bride is concerned about her makeup running down, hence, you have to make sure that the makeup is sweat proof and water proof. Invest some time in deciding the artist that you shall hire. Ask for people's recommendations and always go for the one having a good amount of experience in his/her kitty. The very common problem that summer brides face is their makeup geting caked up after some time. It is of utmost imporatnce that only powder products are used to avoid cakey makeup. My personal tip would be try to go for soft, naturalised, subtle makeup with sharp contouring.

Hairdos

A summer wedding calls for a variety of updos, braids, half & half. Make sure not too much of your hair is styled on and around your face, for heat and sweat may ruin the look, after some time. Use hydrating hair sprays to protect your hair from dryness and the heat.

Lastly, eat right, let water become your best friend, and break all the stereotypical challenges faced by the bride in her summer wedding.

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Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Happy Women’s Day!

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THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS...

She: You know I have never liked this. These days you never bother to ask what I want. He: As far as I know this is what you've wanted since quite some time now. Your preferences seem to be changing inch by inch. She: That's utter rubbish. You do this all the time. You think I never realize but you dress what you want want in such a way that the world including your 'in denial' self thinks it is what I want. He: You're being delusional. What I want is ortrayed by me in the simplest orm that to in words. Unlike you who tends to answer all my questions in a 'I don't know' leaving it upto me to decide what is it exactly that you want. She: Are you kidding me? Have you heard of ' happy is the hand that is pointing at the other'?! He: (Haha) Classic response eh?! Don't you think this is an overused strategy and you need to think of a better and a new way of  blaming me for anything and everything that goes against your will? I certainly do. She: From the looks of where this conversation is headed, I don't think it is going to end anytime soon. He: Yes. Also, from the looks of that couple they don't seem to be having such a heated converstaion like the one we've cooked up for them. She: I think it is time to stop this. Recently, every time we step out we make this imaginative conversation for some other couple sitting in our vicinity. I think it's getting boring. He: Hmmmmm. What bothers me is the fact that every time we do this, our conversation turns into an argument. It's like slowly our issues tend to speak for those strangers. She: I'm sorry I got lost in the menu. Did you say something worth my ears? He: Nevermind. Order a pasta for me.

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HAPPY HOLI!!! LET THE HOLI FESTIVITIES BEGIN....

Getting caught up in the same old charade of trying to scrub the holi colours off, giving up, and stepping out in pink ears? Give this a read and step out of that pattern....

Precautions to be taken before the festivities begin:

Try to wear clothes that would cover most parts of your body ensuring minimum contact with the colours.

Apply mustard oil or coconut oil or olive oil all over your face and neck before stepping out to play with colours. Sunscreen also does the job of protecting your skin, but it won't be as effective as the above mentioned oils. Do not forget to apply oil behind your ears and near your fingernails.

Do not apply any make-up before playing with colours.

DO NOT FORGET YOUR HAIR. Massage some oil into your hair before stepping out.

After Care:

Try to use a cream based soap to remove the colours off your skin. Do not scrub the skin, try to remove the colours as gently as possible.

If the colour stays on, follow the below given directions as per your skin type:

Dry Skin

It's very easy for chemicals to penetrate dry skin, hence, it is very necesary to take extra precautions if you have such skin type.

The best way to erase colours from your skin is by making a paste out of soyabean flour(1 tablespoon), milk, glycerin and a pinch of sea salt.

Scrub the paste onto your face and other colour affected areas for 6-8 minutes and wash it off.

Normal Skin

All you have to do is mix besan(gram flour) with milk powder and lavendar oil. Make a mask out of it. Apply the same over your body for 15 minutes and wash it off.

Oily Skin

Make a paste out of multani-mitti, glycerin and water. Apply the paste over your face, let it sit, wash it off after 15 minutes.

*Quick tip*

Mix some lemon juice with honey (in equal parts) and apply it over your face and neck, this not only helps you remove the stubborn colour stains but also helps you to restore some of the lost glow, not to forget, naturally.

Also, lastly, in case of colour stain on your scalp, massage egg yolk onto your scalp for around 30 minutes and wash it off.

For those who aren't comfortable with the thought of applying egg yolk in your hair, make a paste out of methi powder and curd and use that instead of an egg yolk, in the say way.

HAVE A HAPPY, SAFE, AND ECO-FRIEDLY HOLI!

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                                    Summer is around the corner.       Beat the heat with these pants, for denims are not our only option.

                                               High Waisted Pants

This trend has been in vogue since 2 years now, and if you are one of those who never paid heed to it thinking of it to be just like the other trends. I think it's time you pay attention to it because, this trend is here to stay. The best part about these pants is that you'll find a pair for any look that you want to go for. I don't see this trend dying anytime soon. Frankly, I'd cry a silent cry if it does.

                                                    Culottes

Culottes- Hangs like a skirt, but is actually pants. I love this definition for some reason.😃😃

I love the formal look that culottes give you at the same time providing you with the much needed comfort and airy appearance which is exacty what you need during the summers.

                                                   Cotton Pants

I detest wearing denims on hot summer days, cotton pants are such a respite from the suffering. There are so many designs available, that you will definitely find one that matches your personality. My personal favourite is the drop-crotch pant, apart from these, there are the straight-cut pants, the ankle-length pants, the flared pants, the wide-legged pants and many more.

                                            Trouser with Kurta

Tired of wearing the same old salwars and chudidars?! Give your workwear a twist. Pair your trousers with a kurti and complete your look with a pair of jutties or kolhapuris.

                                                    Tulip Pants

There are a few varieties of tulip pants available in the market, but, I love the trend of pairing the tapered tulip pants with a kurti. It instantly transforms your meh look. The comfort it provides is immense and is such a fresh alternative to a chudidar.

                                          Wide-Legged Pants

These are my peronal favourite, not just for the summers, but all round the year. So comfortable yet so chic. Pair these wide legged pants with a t-shirt for a casual brunch look, put together a formal look by pairing these pants with a shirt, or swap the shirt for a bralette or a crop top for a party look. Acessorize as per your taste and you're ready to go.

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#CoupleGoals OR IS IT REALLY?!

Society seems to have graced us with gender roles. The pressure of fulfilling these said roles is immense on both the genders. Yes, you heard me right, BOTH the genders. The array of pressure runs in opposite directions. Women face shallow, superficial pressures which are enraging to a whole different level, whereas men face the pressure of being strong, the sole breadwinner, successful, not be the 'woman' in the relationship, so on and so forth.

Have you ever come across these #CoupleGoals posts on the social media and found yourself being hurled against the tides of wishful thinking?!

Have you ever wondered how a coupegoals' post can invoke some uncalled for jealousy against the persons in such posts?

To be honest, I have, or, precisely speaking used to find myself doing that. But all of it has very gracefully transformed into indifference or a meek snort with laughter. The moment you see such posts, the first thing that we automatically tend to do is compare our partners to them.

How that guy takes her for dinners at exotic places, showers her with gifts, shows so much commitment on social media, so on and so forth. This is so unfair towards our partners. To give them their credit, they're well aware of these very tendencies which prompts them to up their game.

Ladies, imagine being constantly compared to a social media fantasy. Being pitted against something or someone that makes them believe that their best is nowhere close to raised expectations.

There are no qualms in raising the bar, but, a line needs to be drawn somewhere. The problem isn’t with our raised expectations but with these posts is that gives us the idea that this is what a normal relationship looks like. And what's the problem in this?! Well, to put it visually, the couple is having dinner on the beach with all the aesthetics that would make it your goal. And what is normal anyway? My normal might not be your definition of normal and same goes for the millions out there.

There are no qualms in raising the bar, but, a line needs to be drawn somewhere. Let's not confuse raising the bar with the bull dozing of pressure.

To add to these woes is the issue of social media commitment. Why has it become necessary for your partner to scream about how committed he is to you from every social media rooftop? What we've forgotten is that a commitment is between two people in a relationship and not between two people and their 500 other Facebook friends.

I know I’ve raised too many questions and jumbled your thoughts. But if you think that I will also be providing the much needed solutions to these questions, then, sorry to burst your bubble but I won’t be doing anything of that sort.

That’s not because I would want you to look for the answers yourselves or introspect or anything, it’s as simple as I haven’t got the answers. The only solution that I see to this problem is to not treat it like a problem at all. Stop comparing, stop judging, treat these posts as any other post and stop yourself from wishing to have that.

Cherish what you’ve got for what you’ve got is real, the couple in these posts, real or not are not you and your guy, they’re some random people with a hazy sense of goals for it is not what your partner solely puts in, it is what you BOTH build together that should be tagged as goals.

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This could become your cute story.

Join where the magic happens,

This 11th of March at Meluha-The Fern, Powai, Mumbai.

For further details visit www.meetngreet18.com

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Register online.....it's free... India's most trusted marwadi matrimonial website : A unique portal that brings together all Marwadi's and offers exclusivity for Khandelwal, Agarwal, Maheshwari and Jain communities; Marwadi Shaadi is the perfect place to find your perfect match. For every single marwadi looking for a soul mate - 'Talaash aapki zimmedari hamari! " please visit: www.marwadishaadi.com free telephonic registration available call : [phone] http://bit.ly/19MZ89V

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Register online.....it's free... India's most trusted marwadi matrimonial website : A unique portal that brings together all Marwadi's and offers exclusivity for Khandelwal, Agarwal, Maheshwari and Jain communities; Marwadi Shaadi is the perfect place to find your perfect match. For every single marwadi looking for a soul mate - 'Talaash aapki zimmedari hamari! " please visit: www.marwadishaadi.com free telephonic registration available call : [phone] http://bit.ly/19MZ89V

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Marwadi Shaadi turned 1 today!

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5 Bad Beauty Habits Soon-to-be Brides Must Break By Sharanya Manola

Wrapping wet hair in towel

Locking your tresses in a towel after a head bath is a recipe for disaster! Shampooing your hair is not the end of your hair care regime. Wet hair is more vulnerable to breakage as it can stretch easily.

Why avoid it: If you rub your hair with a towel, it gets tangled and breaks the hair shaft. This damages your otherwise healthy hair. Is it worth the risk? You can squeeze excess water by gently using a cotton cloth as big as a towel as cotton is gentler on your hair. To detangle your hair, use a wide-toothed comb.

  Pricking pimples

You pricked it as it was embarrassing and you squeezed it because it looked ugly. Admit it, you all have done this?

Why avoid it: While it is tempting to pinch an eruption, it is best to let it die its own death and heal naturally. Pricking increases the chances of scars and may also worsen inflammation. If you have a chronic acne or infection, it is best to go to a dermatologist who would guide you better and prescribe medications and procedures, if required. Moreover, eat skin-healthy foods and follow a skincare regime to avoid a pimple that spoils your day.

  Using makeup brushes and sponges without cleaning

Do you clean your hairbrush and comb regularly? Do you clean your toothbrush? Then why do you insist on using and reusing your makeup brushes and sponges without thinking about cleaning them, even if occasionally.

Why avoid it: Germs and skin oils get trapped in your makeup brushes and sponges. These come in contact with your face when you use them without cleaning them properly. So, before that makeup brush comes in touch with your face, give it a good rinse with some lukewarm water, and allow them to air dry. You can also clean them with a mild shampoo. Do this at least twice in a month.

  Heat styling your hair too often

Do you like to style your hair every other day? Well, remember that you are causing an irreversible damage to your hair.

Why avoid it: Heat styling is one of the most common causes of split-ends, and dull and brittle hair. If you can’t give your hair some rest, we would recommend you go natural at least two-three days a week without styling. This gives your hair ample time to get the lost moisture back. As it is you will be doing a lot of elaborate styling for your wedding functions, so give it some break before the ceremonies begin.

  Sleeping with makeup on

Do you sleep away to glory with smokey eyes, foundation-slapped cheeks and lipstick-laden pout, hoping to run into your fiancé in your dreams? Time to wake up before its too late for your skin!

Why avoid: Makeup clogs pores on the skin and discourages secretion of a lubricant that is responsible for moisturising your skin naturally. This eventually causes acne. Besides, eye makeup can cause an allergic reaction or infection.

Dear brides (or those who will soon be in their shoes), make a note of these beauty habits and break free from this vicious circle of bad beauty habits, before its too late!

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50 likes! Register free here- www.marwadishaadi.com

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10 Qualities of Great Marriages

Here are 10 qualities of great marriages:

1. #Friendship: Spouses who have a strong friendship have staying power in that they not only love each other, but genuinely like each other. They enjoy spending time together and there is mutual respect.

2. #Humor: Spouses who can make each other laugh tend to be good at de-escalating conflicts when they do arise. Couples who have the ability to lighten up a tense moment have a big advantage in that they are able to lighten the mood quickly and possibly derail conflict. The use of funny nicknames can be an indicator of great fondness for one another. The names often stem from a "you had to be there" moment from the beginning of their relationship.

3. #Communication: As obvious as this may seem, many couples are not very good at it. Those who are able to openly express their feelings in an emotionally safe environment typically deal with situations as they come up and avoid burying frustrations which always have a way of coming out at some point.

4. #Chore Sharing: Those who divvy up the household or parenting responsibilities in a way that is mutually agreed upon are less likely to hold resentments about what they perceive as "unfair." Each participates and contributes to the marriage in this way.

5. #Sexual Intimacy: Couples who have their sexual needs met or at least have negotiated a reasonable compromise, if their levels of need aren’t compatible, feel taken care of by the other. Some are highly active, engaging in lovemaking multiple times a week and others are content with far less. There is no "right" or "wrong" here, but if one person is feeling their needs aren’t being met it’s important to talk about it.

6. #Affection: Spouses who stay in physical contact in some way throughout the day feel connected to each other, even if it's a simple stroke of the hair, kiss on the cheek or playful tap on the rear. These moments don’t necessarily lead to sexual intimacy but are rather easy ways to say, "I love you and we’re connected" without the words. Some households are so chaotic between jobs, kids and life that these brief shows of affection can be grounding when everything else is swirling around you.

7. No "Horsemen of the Apocalypse:" This is a term coined by couple’s researcher, John Gottman, who is able to predict divorce with incredible accuracy. His "four horsemen of the apocalypse" are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. He has shown that couples who demonstrate a high level of "the horsemen" in their relationships are more likely to divorce.

8. Mutual and Separate Friends: Partners who socialize with other couples and also maintain separate friendships have greater balance in regards to honoring themselves as individuals within the marriage. This leads to more self-satisfaction, which translates to relationship satisfaction.

9. #Reliability: It’s human nature to feel good when those we care about follow through behaviorally and we know they will be there. If couples do what they say and say what they do, they create an atmosphere of comfort in knowing their words mean something to the other, which increases emotional safety in the marriage.

10. #Relationship Vision: Couples who have created a relationship vision for themselves know where they’re going as they’ve planned it together. They get joy out of reaching for their goals as a team and are less likely to be derailed by surprises down the line. Where do they see themselves in 10 years? What are their marriage and family goals?

Perhaps many of the above ideas resonate with you, and perhaps some do and some don’t. It’s also possible that you have many additional ideas about aspects of successful marriages. At the end of the day great marriages are created by the two people involved and are defined as such by what works for each of them together. I encourage you to sit down with your spouse and talk about your ideas of what makes a great marriage and make it so for yourselves!

Source: http://www.hitchedmag.com/

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6 signs your relationship is in trouble

Here are six signs your relationship may be in trouble.  1. The relationship isn't a priority Between work, kids and life, it can be easy for a relationship to become lost among other responsibilities. "There's an ebb and flow in relationships," says Shizgal. "There are seasons, there's change – it's a work in progress." However, if your relationship is chronically not a priority then that’s a problem. If your relationship is not a priority, then you've "lost the mutual responsibility for the health of the relationship and the maintenance of the relationship," explains Shizgal. 2. You expect your partner to meet all of your needs  We often come into a relationship with an unrealistic expectation that our partner will fulfil all of our needs. Your partner isn't your parent, though, so it's not his or her job to meet all of your needs, explains Shizgal. "It's hard to separate out that my unmet needs are for me to figure out and for my partner to support me in," she says. If you blame your partner – or vice versa – for not assisting you financially or for not helping you cope with stress and anxiety, then you need to step back and consider whose job it really is to fulfil those needs. 3. Checking out If one or both of you is checking out of your relationship, then that's a problem. According to Shizgal, a relationship is a "conscious partnership" that involves "both people taking responsibility for the relationship, because two people have to be reliably, sustainably engaged," she says. You need to be aware of how your actions – or lack thereof – are impacting the relationship. Ask yourself what you're bringing to the relationship. Are you present? If you're checking out of the relatinonship, then you're not engaged in a conscious partnership and that's not healthy  4. Lack of eye contact "When couples are in distress, even in small arguments, they tend to stop looking at each other and avoid eye contact," says Shizgal. You could be avoiding eye contact for many reasons: maybe you're not telling the truth or perhaps you're afraid of facing your problems. Either way, not making eye contact is a physical sign of a problem in your relationship. Ask yourself why you avoid eye contact, says Shizgal. Then, actually make an effort to make eye contact with your partner.   5. You've stopped fighting Fighting is a sign we often associate with a troubled relationship, and while fighting too much is not healthy, not fighting at all isn't healthy either, says Shizgal. "I think it's important to be able to fight and disagree and survive," she says. "Often, when we can work through conflicts or disappointments, we end up moving closer together." If you don't fight it usually means that you're scared of upsetting your partner by saying that you're mad. However, if you don't express how you feel then you'll never work through your issues as a couple. 6. A pattern of pursuit and avoidance "Sometimes people get so scared of jeopardizing their relationship or pushing their partner further away, that one person ends up chasing the other person, while the second person avoids them," says Shizgal. She calls this a "pattern of pursuit and avoidance" or "avoidance/avoidance." This is usually a symptom of a relationship where the couple doesn't communicate or isn't sure how to communicate well. A couple that is stuck in this pattern has to learn how to communicate effectively and to actually address issues, instead of avoiding them.  Ultimately, relationships are a work in progress and you need to ask yourself if you can work through the issues you and your partner may have. Can you talk out your differences? Can you renegotiate your responsibilities so that everyone is happier? If not, then your relationship has a serious hurdle that it may not be able to overcome. source-http://www.canadianliving.com/