My Random Blog

My Anything and Everything Blog! From Sports news to my own Poems an Writings 

[matthewej]

And You're Gone

I’ve been walking on this tightrope made of everything I feel Trying not to let it show, trying to keep the balance real ’Cause I hold something inside that could explode And ruin everything I’ve known So I swallow every word before it ever leaves my tongue And pretend I’m made of stone

But the closer that I stand to you, the harder it gets to breathe Every moment feels like something I’m not meant to let myself believe

So I keep my distance just enough to keep the world from breaking Hide the tremble in my hands from all the chances I’m not taking ’Cause one wrong move, one truth too strong And you’re gone …and away you fade

Some days I’m steady, other days I’m barely holding on Trying to read the quiet spaces where the meaning’s never drawn I’ve got these feelings inside and I don’t know what to do So I bury every spark before it ever points to you ’Cause the truth is like a whisper that I’m scared to let escape It could tear the world in two

If I could see behind your eyes for just a moment in the dark Maybe I’d know if all this weight is only sitting in my heart But I’m walking blind and careful, trying not to cross a line Still I wonder all the time

So I keep my distance just enough to keep the world from breaking Hide the tremble in my hands from all the chances I’m not taking ’Cause one wrong move, one truth too strong And you’re gone …and away you fade

[matthewej]

It's my 7 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[matthewej]

Jealousy and Lies

I say a prayer everytime I look over my shoulder. Like a candle I light on fire, you tried to extinguish my flame…go ahead and say it, jealousy, jealousy it burns u up inside this time. Go ahead and spread lies. Don’t try to run and hide.

[matthewej]

Veil of Shadows

You wear a veil of shadows, ruining the lives of men whom look you in the eye. Not even the “chosen one” will make you a blushing bride. 

[matthewej]

(All I Want for Christmas is) Someone to Fix This Broken Heart

Take me to a place. Take me back this time. I know we've changed. I'm running  far behind. I've made my mistakes back when you were mine. I'm longing for true love, something I could never find. "All I want for Christmas is You", how much I hate this song, knowing you will never be mine and mine alone. All I need for Christmas is a small start, someone to fix this broken heart, and make everything better than might've been. All I want is a small start to finally fix this broken heart. Someone to make me feel okay. I hate the holidays. They aren’t a big party of my life. I wish I could wake up on Christmas morning and unwrap you and a smile in sight. Then maybe, I’ll find happier days in light. “All I want for Christmas is You”, how much I hate that song, knowing you’d never be mine, and mine alone..All I want is a small start, someone to fix this broken heart, someone to make it better than might’ve been. All I want is a small start, someone to fix this broken heart, someone to make it okay. “All I want for Christmas is You”, how much I love that song, knowing that you’ll be mine, and mine alone...

[matthewej]

Go To Hell

I thought that you knew me well; I thought you would bleed for me if i wasn’t feeling well; I wish the world would just go ahead and end and go straight to hell. I wish I could take him down, but the badge and gun isn’t worth the bloodshed. I want avengeance upon my foe and cast him straight into hell. Somehow he’s keeping you away from me and I can’t feel well. I don’t care if you’re just going along for the ride or to wipe me out of your life’ I will live to cast you both straight into the darkest depths of hell. 

[matthewej]

Let Go

I don’t know why you decided that I was finally the heel; my fears have finally come into reality that you are not near anymore. Will you let him lead you like a dog on a leash or will you shy away from a friendship that was supposed to have never ceased? I will never understand why or how it was a part of your plan to go along with him and never see me again. If I were in your shoes, an engagement with him would be a way to ultimately lose. I want to know how you feel, but you won’t ever answer or be clear. I can’t believe you’re letting me go just because he’s nothing but a foolish, jealous foe. 

[matthewej]

Find Me in the Pouring Rain

It’s a chilly night tonight; everything has grown cold and old...just like my heart. I want everything to be all right, but right now is not the time. I watch you go on to become someone I never thought you’d be; I never thought you’d take the knife to me and my heart. The rain is pouring like the tears I’ve shed nearly a million times over you. You’ll never realize the damage you’ve done ‘til one day I’m up and gone way too soon. So, tonight, if you’re trying to find me...I’ll be lying in a freezing puddle of pouring rain and my tears...

[matthewej]

2/29

I reached out to an old friend the other day. It’s hard for me to believe that someone in which you haven’t spoken to in so long can really turn around and make things right. I sit here on the end of the night hoping this is a new start, and if it is, it really never felt so right. 

[matthewej]

My Fear

Maybe you didn’t realize, maybe you didn’t hear; when you decided to find someone else, that was my fear. You think he’s so perfect, you think you shouldn’t be denied in what you’re doing, even though it really isn’t right. Sometimes I wish heaven would call my name to save me from you making my life twisted and insane. I’d cry for you, I’d lie for you, but you would never understand this fear I’ve had from the moment you let him in. 

[matthewej]

Rant

I don’t need a badge, I don’t need a gun, and I don’t need to hear “perfect” near my name. I’m struggling to get by, I’m working hard to live again, but you seem to always break me down, my friend. I don’t have a life, I don’t have any fun, and I sometimes wish you would go back to the hell in which you’ve come. I sometimes wish you would go away because all you are is a leech to my veins. You’re burying me alive and about to drive this man insane. I don’t care if you get hurt in the end because it wasn’t my idea to make our friendship end...

[matthewej]

Never There

Sometimes I’d like to think you care, but when I need you the most, you’re never there. You’re always off with someone else having fun while I’m here suffering, just waiting for the end to come. It will come back to haunt you one of these days. I’m tired of you never really being there for me much anymore anyways. 

[matthewej]

Untitled(Cascade)

Take yourself, take everything all away. You don't know what it's like in my shoes, you don't know all I've had to lose. Today, I feel betrayed. I'd cast myself into the sun if if it'd make me get over you. I hope when you stare in the mirror, the reflection looking back cascades all the pain you put me through.

[matthewej]

Mr. Perfect

I'm ready to go, I'm ready to watch you fall. In the end, perfect has no meaning at all. I hope you will fade to dust. Someone's gonna knock you from your pathetic high horse someday. Eventually one day, you'll pay for everything you've ever done to me. Reality will break you in half just as the same way it did me.

[matthewej]

Shaken

I am not too far from broken; as of this moment, I’m severely shaken. It’s nothing more than a short stint; after all, I’m trying to learn how to walk again. 

[matthewej]

The Walls of Alexandria

Don’t make me go back in time just to make me be with you. I’ll have an army and a Trojan horse waiting to lead an ambush and rescue you. I’ll fight tens of thousands of men, spill oceans of blood just to be with the one whom I adore. 

You can’t climb the walls that you seek over Alexandria; no, she don’t know and she can’t see those who seek her love. Oh, Alexandria. 

This city’s a blazing now, I’ve went and burned it down. Nothing but the walls of stone stand tall in this wicked land. They’re gonna need some water and sand. I’ll need some water to douse this blazing flame on my heart tonight. I’ll walk this desert road ‘til I find you. 

You can’t climb the walls that you seek over Alexandria; no, she don’t know and she can’t see those who seek her love. Oh, Alexandria.

I’m not ever gonna give up; i am gonna find you! I’ll bring down these walls with the strength hidden within, given by the divine. I’m gonna bring down these walls, don’t be afraid to fall. We'll watch the world burning down tonight!

You can’t climb the walls that you seek over Alexandria; no, she don’t know and she can’t see those who seek her love. Oh, Alexandria. Alexandria! Alexandria! Alexandria! 

[matthewej]

Untitled no. 11

Go ahead, break my heart and lead me on; stab the knife into my back and cut me to the bone. I wish I knew how you felt back then, so it wouldn’t haunt me now. I’m trying to learn to fly again; I’m just trying to get up off of this cold ground. I’m falling apart in your very eyes, but It shouldn’t have been no surprise. I love you and I always will; I thought you knew how I truly feel.